


When Love Beckons

by Cheap_Plastic_Bouncy_Ball



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, How can you not love him, I admit it this is going to be really angsty, Legolas is a beautiful ray of sunshine damn it, Most of the story from Thranduil's POV, No Tauriel bashing though it might seem it at times, Ok maybe more than slightly angsty, Romance, She is just very young in Thranduil's eyes and thus he tends to think she is reckless and impetuous, Slow Burn, Some slight same sexing, Tourtured Thranduil, nor incestious, nothing graphic, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 23:13:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 115,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7074712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheap_Plastic_Bouncy_Ball/pseuds/Cheap_Plastic_Bouncy_Ball
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thranduil has long been in love with the captain of his guard but then so has Legolas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [IronRoseOfRivendell](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IronRoseOfRivendell/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As suggested by IronRoseofRivendell I am going to post the songs I've written each chapter to. I am rather nervous about it as I have odd (but not unique) musical taste. When I write a chapter I tend to pick a song and play it on repeat over and over.
> 
> The song for this first chapter is Fallen - Sarah McLaughlin - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jqps9ZdMxs0

Thranduil regarded his son with wide eyes and a slack jaw for a moment then quickly shifted his countenance into something more placid and unconcerned as he listened to his son confess that he had fallen in love with a beautiful elleth. He looked apathetic, he hoped, before Legolas could become aware of his true feelings on the matter.

  
"What do you think of my plans, Ada? Do I have your approval?" Legolas gave his father a cheerful smile and Thranduil couldn't help for the millionth time comparing that smile to his mother's. Oh how he wished she could be here to see him grown. Oh how he wished she were here to save him from this awkward situation. It would have have even existed had she not died for his heart would never have strayed, would it?

Thranduil pressed his finger tips together and leaned forward and peered at his son thoughtfully. "How long have you felt thus? From what I have always understood you are more like siblings than..." He couldn't say it. He couldn't put his son, Tauriel, and the word lovers together in the same sentence.

Legolas' eyebrows furrowed as he shook his head in denial. "I don't think we are like siblings at all. We are close to be certain. We have grown up together, served together and fought together, but never once have I seen her as a sister."

"And how does she view you?" Thranduil was uncertain that he wanted to know. It would be good for Legolas he supposed for the elleth his heart desired to return his affections, but not Tauriel. It could never be Tauriel.  
"I don't know, Ada." Legolas answered clearly irritated by his father's reticence. "Which is why I came to you first on the matter. It would be unforgivable to approach her with my feelings only to find you do not approve." Legolas paused for a moment then gave his father a stern look. "Not that your disapproval would stop me. I love you but my life partner is mine to choose."

"Again I ask," Thranduil said as he leaned back in his chair. "How long have you harbored romantic feelings for my captain?" His captain. His thorn in his side. His secret longing. His Tauriel.

Legolas stood and began pacing around the room. "I don't know. A few years maybe. Does it matter?" He turned on his father, clearly losing patience with his attitude.

"And there hasn't been anyone else?" Thranduil asked as he reluctantly met his son's gaze.

"There could never be anyone else," Legolas answered passionately. "I love her, Ada. I came here for your thoughts and blessings on my beginning a courtship with her nothing more. Do you have a problem with my pursuit of her?"

Thranduil raised his eyebrows at his son. "Considering your attitude it is amazing you managed the courtesy. Of course you know I could never approve of this."

"Why?" Legolas snapped. "Because she is a lowly Sylvan elf? Because she is beneath me in station? Because she has no family? You have always favored her that alone gives her status."

Thranduil sighed heavily then answered, "I would never consider a Sylvan elf lowly, Legolas. Surely you know me better than that."

Legolas paced around the room a few more times. "Then why?" he asked. "Why would you disapprove?"

Thranduil almost laughed at the loaded question. Of course he couldn't confess to his son that he himself was also enamored with the elleth. No, that was unforgivable and a secret he could share with no one. He had loved and lost and no matter how Tauriel stirred his fea any relationship other than the sometimes contentious one they shared was impossible. Even more so now that he knew of Legolas' feelings.

He pinched the bridge of his nose in an effort to relieve the pain blossoming behind his eyes. He knew the day would come when some bold ellon would fall in love with Tauriel and steal her away but he never imagined it would be his own son. Why did it have to be Legolas?

  
"Ada?" Legolas asked as he stared at his father and waited for an answer.

"Consider this," Thranduil began. "Tauriel is a solider. She is a fighter. Her life is in danger every day. There could come a time when she doesn't come back from a patrol. I would not wish my fate on you."

Legolas lifted his chin. "That's why I go with her. I am always at her side. Protecting her."

"And what if you cannot?" Thranduil asked. "What if your duties keep you away whilst she is in danger. Would you abandon your duties for her?"

"Yes," Legolas answered passionately. "Anything for her, Ada. I would do anything."

Thranduil swallowed down the anger and sudden jealousy rising in his chest. He had no right to be jealous over Tauriel. He had no right to keep his son from the elleth he loved.

"My advice is to give it a few more years," Thranduil said trying to sound blithe. "If it is right it will happen naturally. There is no need to jump into a courtship now."

"But," Legolas started and Thranduil interrupted him by holding up one hand.

"These are dark times, Ion nin. Please heed my warnings. There will be a proper time, but this is not it." He opened his eyes and was met with his son's searching gaze.  
Legolas took a deep breath and looked off into the distance. He expected resistance and had prepared rebuttals for every eventuality, except this.

"I will wait," he finally said as he closed his eyes. "But eventually I will speak to her." Thranduil nodded his head then filled his cup with wine. All he wanted to do was drink himself to oblivion and forget feelings for red haired Sylvan elleths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 3/28/17


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for this chapter - It doesn't exactly fit the word wise but it's more the tone - Lament for Thorin -Eurielle - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FCF3qSqn4g

On the eve of the battle of the five armies Thranduil found himself standing beside Bard the Bowman discussing a bit of his history with Thorin when Legolas appeared in the tent. It would not be noticeable to the man standing beside the Elvenking but Legolas was clearly very distressed.

"Father! I need to speak with you." Legolas said through gritted teeth as he stalked toward his father. Tauriel, Thranduil could see, was holding court with a group of soldiers and he wondered if Legolas had neglected to warn her of her banishment. Legolas' dark mood was suddenly very present as he began pacing around the tent. Bard, with a grace Thranduil had not expected from a man, looked down at the ground and took a step back.

"I'll leave the two of you to talk," he said and walked from the tent without a backward glance. Thranduil's already growing opinion of the dragon slayer lifted a notch higher before he took a deep breath to deal with whatever was bothering his son.

"Speak," Thranduil said as he poured himself a cup of wine then turned his attention to Legolas who looked like a storm cloud about to burst.

"Do you have any idea what you have done?" Legolas finally said as he gestured with uncharacteristic wildness. "I don't know if I can forgive you for Tauriel taking up with those dwarves."

"I don't understand what Tauriel taking off to help a group of foolish Dwarves has to do with me," Thranduil said as he looked down regretfully into his now half empty cup then up at Legolas who had stopped pacing and was now glaring at him with such intense hatred it threatened to rock him back on his heels.

"It was you told me to me to wait to court her. It was you who said there would be a proper time. But now it's too late!" Legolas spat at his father. "I should never have listened to you. I have always sought to respect your word and wisdom, but I will do so no longer."

Thranduil's throat tightened as he held his breath as he clenched the goblet in his hand. "Has something happened to her?" It was a stupid question he knew as she was standing within his line of sight laughing with the other soldiers.

"Has something happened to her?" Legolas repeated the question. "Yes. Something has happened to her. She has fallen in love with one of those wretched dwarves!"

Thranduil shook his head in confusion. He must have heard Legolas wrong. "A dwarf? One of those squat ugly things?"

"He's young," Legolas said as the tone of his voice wavered from anger to pain. "Tall by dwarf standards and I've lost her. We've lost her. She doesn't care that you have banished her. She will live in Erebor with her dwarf."

Thranduil watched as Legolas bowed his head in grief. "If only I hadn't listened to you, Ada. If I had secured her heart as I had intended this would not have happened."

"If after all this time she could give her heart to another then you scarcely had a chance, " Thranduil told Legolas hesitantly. Did Legolas know how he had had selfishly warned Tauriel away from his son. What had he been thinking? Was it because of the way she smiled when he told her Legolas said she fought well? How her eyes lit up? Was it because he wanted those secret smiles for his own? Was it because he wanted to put that sweet look of joy on her face? Yes. Yes. The answer to every question was an emphatic yes.

Legolas glared at his father for a moment then shook his head. "And what is this I hear about white gems? You'll go to war over treasure but not to protect our people?"

"Our people will endure and there will be no war. Thorin will give in to our demands. With both Dale and Mirkwood against him he has no alternative." Thranduil stood and walked to the table to refill his cup. "I may as well take advantage of the opportunity to retrieve what is rightfully mine."

"You are foolish father," Legolas said bitterly. "Tauriel is lost to us. Mother is lost to us. The white gems will be lost to us and all because you are greedy, selfish and short sighted." He gave Thranduil a look of disgust for a long moment then turned on his heel and walked away without looking back.

Thranduil set his cup aside then bowed his head as he braced himself on the table. Yes, he was indeed foolish. He had ruined his son's happiness through is own selfish greed.   
As for the white gems it was now a point of pride. A war between Thorin and himself and it was too late to turn back now. Were he in the comfort of his own home he would have allowed himself to become quietly drunk, but right now he needed to focus and to keep his wits about him.

"Is everything well?" Bard asked as he appeared beside Thranduil. "He is your son correct? I have children of my own. I understand how difficult it can be."

Thranduil forced a composed smile on his face. "Of course. All is well, Bard. Let us continue our discussion."

\---

Grief was not new to Thranduil, it had been his most faithful companion since his wife's death. The weight of his son's anger, the loss of life in senseless battle, were just additions to the layers upon endless layers of sorrow, regret, guilt and pain of his millennia of loss.

The bleakness of his immortality had not robbed him of his love and compassion for his people; though it often seemed a cold and distant love. He couldn't help but become aloof to those around him. Attachment, he had sadly learned meant pain and immortals were not immune to loss.

The great Elvenking wore his sorrow like a heavy crown on his brow. He was very aware, as he walked into the hall where his fallen subjects lay, what he owed each of them. Their fea had departed but their bodies longed to be put to rest. This was his final chance to pay his respects to each alone before the funerals began. He was uncertain how he could ever repay so many debts.

"My King," the guard at the door bowed as he moved aside for Thranduil's passage, his head bowing as the edges of his king's unadorned black robes brushed past him.

A few living elves occupied the room. On one end stood a woman silently weaving white and purple flowers into the hair of the body laid out before her. Thranduil made his way to her first with his heart in his throat.

"Inunis," he whispered. She did not look up or stop her work as she continued to braid her husband's hair. Thranduil looked at the ellon on the table, his ever youthful face marred only slightly from battle.

"Gelban," Thranduil said as he tentatively brushed the ellon's forehead with his fingertips. "I remember well when he was born." It had been a beautiful midsummer day in Doriath. He had gone with Lady Galadriel to offer congratulations to his family.

"And now you will remember well when he died," came Inunis' soft reply as she continued weaving her husband's hair.

"Yes," Thranduil agreed then swallowed hard at the knot of grief which had lodged in his throat days ago but now threatened to leap from his throat in a cry of anguish. He also remembered well when Inunis was wed to Gelban. Both he and his Lady, not yet king and queen, had attended the feast and celebrated with them.

"This was not supposed to happen," Inunis said her voice little more than a whisper. "He promised to return home safely."

Thranduil closed his eyes. He was singlehandedly responsible for every one of his subject's deaths. Had they all promised their loved ones to return safely? Of course they had. Just as he had promised his wife. Just as she had promised him.

"You will be sailing?" Thranduil asked and Inunis shook her head.

"I cannot imagine waiting so long. I pray that death will come for me even now so my body may return to the good earth with him." She covered her face with her hands and wept. Thranduil stood beside her and let her anguish wash over him in waves.

"I am sorry," Thranduil said after what seemed like hours. Perhaps it had been.

She shook her head. "It was his pleasure and joy to serve you, his king and people. There is nothing for you to sorrow over, My Lord. Your burdens are heavy enough. He would not have your carry his death upon already heavily burdened shoulders."

Thranduil swallowed hard and wished he had some wine to quell the ache in his throat. "I am ever grateful for your generosity and kindness, My Lady." He bowed to her then moved from her side before his own sorrow felled him at her feet. He was not worthy of her mercy.

He continued his visitations with the fallen. Stopping to fondly touch a face here or there or let tear drops fall when he found the body of an ellon or elleth he had held especially dear.

At the end of his visit anger took root in his heart. What stupid folly made him risk the precious lives of his people? White gems, pride and greed. They had cost his people their precious lives and him the love and respect of his son. What was he left with? Nothing but sorrow.

"My Lord?" Galion said as he appeared at his side, daring to pull at his elbow. "You are weary and have visited with the dead long enough."

"Do not presume to tell me how long I can tarry with the fallen," Thranduil said though he had tried to raise his voice it came out in weak whisper.

"There is a bottle of wine awaiting you in the meeting room down the hall," Galion coaxed. "And a warm meal only an order away."

Thranduil turned on his butler and friend, his face contorted in rage. "Do not try to placate me with wine and comfort! What comfort do the fallen and those that mourn them have? Leave me be Galion."

Thranduil waited for Galion to leave before he resuming his walk amongst the dead. He was tired to the depths of his soul and wine would have been welcome but he had no desire to leave this place of sorrow, at least he hadn't until the door opened and the perfect target for all his rage entered the hall.

"Tauriel," Thranduil said and she froze like a deer caught in a forest cleaning. Her green eyes were wide with fear and he was sure she was going to run. Would he give chase if she did? Luckily he didn't need to find out as Tauriel stepped further into the hall.

"My king," she replied and bowed deeply. She looked as haggard and beaten as he felt but he hardened his heart toward her. She hadn't returned Legolas' love and now he was gone. She certainly could not return his love, nor did she care for her people. He wanted to shake her, rage at her, and make her hurt as much as he did.

"What are you doing here?" He finally asked and she dared to look up at him. She had always been bold and daring.

"I came to pay respects to my fallen friends," Tauriel answered as she gestured all around her. "Many of those I respected and served with fell on that day and..."

"And many more would have fallen had you had your way," Thranduil hissed at her.

"But maybe Kili would still be here had you yourself not been so greedy and cowardly," she replied and he growled at her in disgust.

"You would have sacrificed to lives of so many of my people in trade for a mortal? A dwarf, who was too short sighted and greedy to understand..."

"You do not have the right to speak of him!" Tauriel interrupted. The few living in the hall looked up from their mourning and Thranduil grabbed her by the elbow and pulled her out through the doors and down the hall to his meeting chambers. She wisely kept her tongue and did not fight him.

Thranduil pushed her into the room, slammed the door behind him, and advanced on her. "Who are you to tell me what my rights are?"

Tauriel turned her head away and closed her eyes. "No one, My Lord. I am but a lowly Sylvan elf."

Thranduil rubbed his hand over his face then pointed toward the table and ordered her to sit. He was expecting her to fight him, but instead she walked to the nearest chair and sat with her head bowed and her hands clasped in her lap.

"Here," Thranduil said as he poured a cup of wine and placed it on the table before her. "Drink this. It will give you strength."

"False strength," Tauriel told him as she dared look up at him for a moment then upon meeting his frosty gaze turned here eyes back down to her hands.

"Better than none at all," Thranduil said then took a long swallow straight out of the bottle.

Tauriel looked down to her cup but didn't touch it. "Tell me. Where is Legolas? I have looked everywhere and cannot find him." She dared again to look up at her king once more, her verdant eyes filled with fear and sorrow.

He wanted to be flippant with her - to tell her that she didn't deserve to know where Legolas had gone and why. She was a traitor to not only her king, to her prince, but her people as well. Instead he held his sharp tongue. "Legolas is well. He has gone on a journey. I do not know when he will return." Or if.

"I see," Tauriel said as she stared at her entwined fingers. "And what is to become of me? Am I here to heal before I am fully banished?"

Thranduil let out a long sigh and shook his head as he put the now empty wine bottle on the table. "You are here because it pleases me for you to be so. And yes to heal if at all possible."

"I don't know if I can heal. Have you?" she asked bleakly as she dared to look up at him once more.

The Elvenking snorted then cast his eyes around the room. He was certain he had another bottle of wine stashed away against the monotony of boring meetings. "Our wounds are hardly the same, Tauriel."

"Loss is loss is it not?" she asked and Thranduil gave her a sour look.

"Tell me what you have lost? A would be lover? Someone you hardly knew?" Several tears spilled from her eyes and Thranduil inwardly berated himself for the desire to wipe them away as his heart squeezed in sympathy. He wanted to kiss away those tears. The dwarf she loved did not deserve them.

"Yes, that as well," Tauriel agreed. "And a dear friend who was the only family I had. My home. My career as captain of the guard. Dear friends. My king's respect. All of the important things to me."

Thranduil finally sat in the furthest chair from Tauriel in order to keep from reaching out and comforting her. "Certainly you knew the risks you took when you chose to abandon your people for those creatures."

Tauriel shook her head. "I had faith in you," she whispered as more tears rolled down her cheeks. "That you would wake up and do not only what was best for your kingdom but all peoples."

"I have always done what is best for my kingdom," he told her archly. He wanted to tell her that he cared not for other people, only his own, but he didn't want to see the disappointment on her face.

She looked up at him her eyes sparking with anger. "You could not send soldiers to fight the spiders at their source in Dol Guldur. You could not help Dale. You could not help the dwarves in their quest, but you could go to war over some silly jewels? Had it not occurred to you if you had helped Thorin as he asked he would have simply given them to you?"

"You are young and foolish, Tauriel." Thranduil said as he leaned back in his chair and crossed one leg over the other. "Dol Guldur is not a simple fortress we can attack. It is a never ending cesspool of evil that would consume all our resources trying to fight it. Do you think I am such a fool that I have not considered routing that strong hold would take? It is best to avoid it and endure."

"What about helping the dwarves?" Tauriel questioned as she lifted her chin in defiance. "It would have benefited you far more to help them than to fight them."

"The word of a dwarf cannot be trusted. Thorin had no intention of returning my wife's jewels without a fight whether I helped him or not. I offered him as much and he rejected it.  
"The loss of life to that wretched dragon by helping Dale would have been untenable, besides what could I have done that Bard did not? We came to their aid when they needed us most. My biggest mistake was losing patience and not waiting until Thorin failed. I could have then walked into Erebor and taken what I wanted."

"Mortals... Dwarves. They are not bad, Thranduil." Tauriel said as she wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her tunic. "You could have stayed to help when they were attacked. You could have saved all of their lives."

Thranduil sighed heavily as he procured a handkerchief from the sleeve of his robe and passed it to Tauriel. "I know what you think of me and I will not deny it. It was not I who was short sighted. You insisted on only seeing what was before you and failed to grasp the consequences. " Tauriel opened her mouth to protest then closed it and nodded her head in agreement.

"What do we do now?" Tauriel asked as she watched her king examine the boot on his outstretched leg.

"We endure," Thranduil answered then looked up at her.

Tauriel licked her dry lips as she turned her attention to the cup of wine before her. "I mean. What do I do now?"

Thranduil chuckled weakly. "You expect me to command your every move, Tauriel? From what I know of your character you would detest following my orders in regard to your personal life."

"Clearly I am no longer captain of the guard," Tauriel said. "Being a soldier is the only occupation I have known. Am I even welcome in your halls?"

Thranduil idly ran his fingers through his hair then examined the ends as though he was contemplating getting it cut then looked up to meet Tauriel's gaze. Perhaps he should tell her to go after Legolas. Or maybe he should keep her here under his watchful gaze. He knew for certain that he could not bare to have her vanish all together.

"My Lord?" Tauriel asked after a very long lapse of silence where she had drank her cup of wine and sat awkwardly waiting for her king's answer.

Thranduil leaned further back in his chair and pressed his fingers to his eyes. "As a daughter of the forest you are ever welcome in my kingdom, Tauriel. You have been forgiven your abandonment of your station. I understand your reasons, but as such you are relieved of all your duties of captain and a member of my guard. You will not be reinstated."

"Thank you," Tauriel said as she toyed with her empty cup. "And what of my other offense? Am I to be punished for that?" She looked up to find Thranduil frowning at her.

"I cannot allow such treason to go unpunished," he told her. "You threatened my life."

Tauriel swallowed hard. "You must know I would never have loosed that arrow. I was hurt, angry, and frightened. I wanted you to react."

"And I have spoiled you by always tolerating your insubordination," Thranduil said. "So it is my fault that you felt so bold as to threaten me in such a way." He shook his head. "But again I cannot allow it to go unpunished."

"Then I am to assume your dungeons will be my new quarters." Tauriel closed her eyes and sat with her body riged and tense as she awaited his judgment.

Thranduil gave her a look of consternation. "Your prison will be these halls. I know how you love the forest but you will not travel it without my consent. Your occupation will be to serve me and learn obedience." A dark voice in Thranduil's head asked, "And how will she be of service to you? In your bed?" He closed his eyes against the thought.

"I don't understand," Tauriel told him as she looked at him once more and shook her head.

"In my service," Thranduil answered. "What ever I ask of you. You will do it." He frowned as he fought back the idea of her spending her service beneath him. He put his hand to his head and wondered what was wrong with him that his thoughts had grown so dark and lustful. "Without question."

"And if I refuse?"

"You would go so far to refuse my edict after all you have done?"

"No," Tauriel said as her shoulders dropped. "What you have offered is far more generous than I deserve"

A voice in his head warned Thranduil of the mistake he was about to make, but the curl of heat coursing its way from low in his belly quelled the alarm. He had not felt such feelings in at least a hundred years and he couldn't help but grasp at the pleasure. It was as intoxicating as the wine he used to chase away his sorrow and loneliness. He wanted. No. He needed more.

Thranduil sent her a dark smile. He was once innocent as she was and could have never imagined finding pleasure in anyone's arms but his wife's, until Tauriel had won his attention. He would have to be careful with her, and slow. He bit his lip. But no, it would be better to send her after Legolas. He needed to do what was right.

"Rest, Tauriel," Thranduil said as he stood as he refused to give into temptation and yet refused to send her away. "Rest and heal. When I have use for you I will call and you will answer."

"Yes, My Lord," Tauriel agreed then watched him stride from the room without looking back.

\----

As it was wont to do, life returned to its usual ebb and flow. Thranduil kept himself too busy to think upon Tauriel and his frustrating desire for her. He did everything in his power to avoid her and forget she existed. It wasn't terribly difficult as she avoided him like the plague.

"Galion," Thranduil called irritably as he turned to his servant. "I told you not an hour ago I am out of wine. Must I fetch it for myself?"

"No my lord," Galion said as he bowed. "Forgive me. There has been so much work to do it must have slipped my mind. I'll get it now."

Thranduil growled at his butler as he opened one of the many letters on his desk. He knew Elrond's seal well, though correspondence between the two of them had fallen off the last few hundred years. Elrond would have been consistent in his letters but Thranduil was guilty of placing each missive aside unanswered until they grew infrequent and short.

_Dear Friend,_

  
_Your son has recently arrived in Imladris but has said little of his motives save that he is seeking a place of retreat before he imparts on further travels. He has not confided his motives to me, but I can see his heart is troubled. When I asked after you his answer was ambiguous and fraught with bitterness._   
_For now he has been spending his time with my sons and is considering joining them in their scouting endeavors. I assure you he will be ever safe in the care of Elladan and Elrohir._   
_It has been long since I have heard from you my friend and my dreams have been troubling as of late. Perhaps a visit would not be remiss._

_With Care,_

_Elrond_

"Oh wouldn't you just love it if I confided in you," Thranduil said to the letter.

"My lord?" Galion asked as he set a decanter of wine on the desk.

Thranduil shook his head as he filled his glass. "I was talking to myself."

"The letter from Elrond?" Galion questioned. "Does he have news of Legolas?"

Thranduil sighed and resisted the urge to snipe at his servant. "Yes. He is well." He emptied his goblet of wine and filled another and Galion walked away as he sensed Thranduil's mood.

Thranduil resisted the urge to throw the letter in the fire. Instead he pulled a sheet of paper from his desk and sent Elrond a brief reply to say that a visit was not necessary and that he would know what to say should Legolas choose to confide in him.

"Busybody," Thranduil whispered as he sealed the letter then set it aside to be delivered. How he detested when Elrond tried to intervene on his behalf, as though having a ring of power made Thranduil someone who should be condescended to.

He shuffled through more of the paperwork on his desk until he could stand it no more before finally leaving his office for a bath in which to soak and relax. There was nothing worse for someone who was a warrior at heart than paperwork, but such was the job of a king.

Thranduil sighed as he leaned back in the steaming water and brought into his minds eye his meeting with Tauriel. He felt like a love sick ellon of all but one hundred where she was concerned. He was completely unsure of himself as though he had never spoken to an elleth before. Even worse was the guilt he felt over his feelings. Not only was he betraying his wife, but also his son.

He shut his eyes tight and pushed the elleth from his mind and thought about his wife instead. He tried desperately to remember the taste of her skin, the sound of her voice, the feel of her against him, but the memory eluded him.

Thranduil threw himself from the bath in frustration. Like Legolas his wife's memory seemed to have fled from him also. The consolation of their life together that had kept him going for so long was like a distant dream. Why would the Valar be so cruel as to take even that comfort from him and worse his one protection from his feelings for Tauriel?

"I should have sent her away," he said as he paced barefoot around his balcony. He ran his fingers through his hair then turned with the intention of going to bed. Instead he found himself aimlessly wandering through his halls until he found his feet had lead him to the door to her rooms.

He put his hand on the rough wooden door and closed his eyes. He did not need to see her and he would not knock. She was sleeping he was certain. He swallowed hard as he forced himself to step back. Instead of walking away he leaned on the wall. His body begged him to go to her and the powerful urge nearly had him knocking on the door.

Thranduil closed his eyes for a moment and let his fea reach out to her. He could feel that she was indeed sleeping. He pushed his fea further toward hers and felt as it recoiled from his in surprise.

"What do you dream of?" he whispered. "Your dwarf? My son? Could you ever dream of me?" Thranduil reigned in his fea and forced himself from the wall.

"You certainly are a fool Thranduil son of Oropher." He whispered then fled down the hall like he was being chased by a host of orcs, but he would visit again and again until night time visits to her door became a habit and the only thing that comforted him when he felt ill at ease.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 3/28/17


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song for this chapter is Part 4, THe Bridge of Kahzan Dum' - Eurielle - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-enArWoy9Gs&t=32s

Tauriel pried open her tear swollen eyes as she woke of dreams where Kili survived and she died or Kili and Legolas died, or both Kili and Legolas died and both left her to survive on her own.

  
She curled herself in a ball in the middle of her bed and tried to keep from whimpering. She had been awoken by the sound of a single elven voice singing in lamentation, twisting the blade of sorrow in her heart round and round in almost unbearable sorrow.

In her aching head the echoing song sounded strange and distorted. The halls of Elven King Thranduil were rarely filled with music and usually only for festivals or celebrations and yet the music had gone on for over a week. Tauriel squeezed her eyes shut and pulled the pillows over her head trying to block out all sound which was why she didn't hear the knock at her door.

"Captain?" a voice called as a fist on the door pounded harder. "A-Are you awake?

"Go away," Tauriel answered. The door clicked opened and one of the soldiers who had served under her captainship from the beginning, who had always been a good friend entered.

"I'm sorry to disturb you," he said. "I am here to see if you are still alive." Tauriel sighed. Oh how she wished that she'd already succumbed to the gaping wound of her broken heart. She had been left with nothing to do than mourn.

"I am alive as you can see," she answered as she sat up and pushed her sleep wild hair from her face. "Leave me be, Uron. Please."  
Uron gave her a sympathetic look. "I have my orders to route you from your bed, Captain."

Tauriel snorted. "I am no longer your captain."

Uron snorted. "You will always be my captain and it was Our Lord King who has bade me to rouse you, if you still live that is."

Tauriel pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes. All she wanted was to burrow back into bed. The thought of leaving her rooms and seeing others let alone the king turned her stomach.

Uron looked around the room noting a plate of uneaten fruit. "You've not eaten in days. Are you trying to fade, Tauri?"

"Does it matter if I do?" Tauriel asked as she lifted her gaze to meet the warm brown worried eyes of her friend.

"It matters to many of us," Uron answered then sighed. "There is no one who would wish you to leave one way or another. We have suffered enough loss."

Tauriel crept from bed and dressed quickly while Uron stood by the door, his eyes on the floor as he waited. She gave him a sad look then handed him her comb. "Can you please braid my hair?" Uron bowed and took the comb from her outreached hand and that was how Thranduil found Tauriel sitting with her friend working tangles from her hair.

He stood in the open door with the two elves' backs to him; with a twist of jealousy in his heart. It was not uncommon in the least for soldiers to comb and braid each others hair, but Thranduil didn't like the way the other ellon's fingers caressed Tauriel's hair as he worked or the way Tauriel seemed to relax in the chair with her head tilted back and her throat exposed. It spoke of a familiarity that stung his heart.

"So, you are alive," Thraduil began as he walked into the room like he hadn't been observing them for as long as he had. He hadn't intended to come. His every intention was to wait for Uron's report. But his unease had grown too much for him to sit any longer.

"My Lord," both Tauriel and Uron said as they turned. Uron helped Tauriel stand and Thranduil's heart clenched as she leaned on the ellon for support.  
Thranduil lifted a hand and ordered Tauriel to be seated. He reached out and plucked the comb from Uron's hand. "I will finish this. You may be dismissed." Tauriel and Uron exchanged looks before the former bowed and walked from the room.

Thranduil pushed back the sleeves of his gold and black robe then reached for Tauriel's hair and began to comb out the remaining tangles as he sat on the edge of her bed. "Must you steal the heart of every one you meet?"

Tauriel started and turned to look at her king in utter shock. "What are you accusing me of, My Lord?"

Thranduil used his hand to turn her head so he could return to combing her hair. "Uron. He is in love with you also?"

Tauriel clenched her fists. "Uron and I have been friends for most of my life. He has served with Legolas and I since I joined the guard. We are friends."  
"Friends," Thraduil said in his deep whispery voice. "Is that what you call your lovers?"

Tauriel pulled away from the king's fingers in her hair, stood, and turned to him. "I do not like what you are implying, My Lord."  
He knew he should ask for her forgiveness and leave her to be tended to by someone else but he could no more do either than stop the feirce feelings rampaging through his heart.

"You have had so many suitors. It was a simple question," he said coolly.

"Even as my King it is a question you have no business asking. You accuse me of bonding with multiple partners. You insult them as well as myself." She crossed her arms over her chest and stared down at her king who was sitting on the edge of her bed and furrowed her eyebrows in consternation. "Who are all these many suitors you accuse me of possessing?"

"So then it was only the dwarf?" Thraduil asked. He didn't want to know and at the same time he had to know if Tauriel had laid with the wretched being? His breath caught in his throat and his stomach clinched as he awaited the answer.

Tauriel closed her eyes. "We.. We never had enough time. Our first kiss was our last."

"And yet you mourn for him as though you were bonded," Thranduil said bitterly.

"Was it not you yourself who admitted that it was real?" Tauriel asked as she began pacing her quarters.

Thranduil sighed. "Contrary to what you may believe I did not come here to argue with you."

"Answer the question!" Tauriel demanded as she raised her voice. "Was it real?" Her verdant eyes were almost desperate as they met his.  
Thranduil bowed his head. He hated saying it but she left him little choice. "It was real. But, it barely had time to take root..."

"It took root!" Tauriel yelled as she clasped her fist to her chest. "Who are you to tell me about my heart? You are my king that is all. You are not even my friend."

Thraduil lifted his chin then stood. "I want to see you after dinner. That will give you a chance to bathe properly. You and I have much to discuss." He placed her comb on her dressing table then turned and left the room, shutting the door behind him as he went.

"Insufferable...," Tauriel growled then stopped unwilling to say anything further in case he was still at the door listening.

\---

Tauriel had plenty of time to wander before her audience with her king, but she found herself idle with no where to go and nothing to do. She could go visit with friends. If Uron was not upset with her she hoped many of the other soldiers felt the same.

She didn't want to answer the questions they might ask or feel the homesickness at sharing a camaraderie with them she would never truly have again. Instead, she wandered and listened to the single voice that continued to sing in lamentation before she finally decided to follow it.

The singer was found sitting on the rocks of a large pool that served as a perfect echo chamber for her music, staring into the water as she strummed on a lute, her voice had tired and so she continued to play withoug singing. The lady's dark hair hung like a curtain around her face so it was impossible to see who she was. She wore a dress as dark as her hair and it was clear that this was truly an elf who was fading.

"Don't stand there like a ghost," the woman said hoarsely without lifting her head from her instrument. "If you mourn as I do, you are welcome here."

Tauriel took a deep breath and walked down the stony path, then through a few shrubs before coming to stand beside the mourning lady. Tauriel bit her lip. This woman must have lost her husband in battle. She blinked back her tears. "Is there anything I can do for you? Maybe I can get you some refreshment?"

"Thank you, but no," The dark lady answered as she continued to play the lute. Tauriel looked at the lady's bleeding fingers.

"My name is Tauriel. I.. I can play the lute a little. May I have a try?" The woman lifted her head to to meet her eyes and Tauriel had to keep from stepping back in shock. She was little more than a wraith with sallow skin and dimmed eyes and yet frighteningly beautiful.

"I am Inunis," the woman said. "Can you play the flute?"

Tauriel shook her head. "I'm sorry. My musical abilities are very limited."

"A shame," Inunis said. "My beloved loved music."

Tauriel nodded as she sat beside Inunis then gently pulled the lute from her grasp. "Will you let me tend to your fingers? They must be sore."

Inunis gave her a confused look. "What does it matter Lady Tauriel? I will not tarry here much longer as I am awaiting my beloved."

"You're fading," Tauriel stated and the woman smiled slightly.

"Yes."

There was nothing left for Tauriel to say. She knew she should leave Inunis to her fate but she couldn't bring herself to move. "What a shame," she said. " I was looking for someone to help me improve my music skills." She began to strum the lute and play the only song she knew, which was suited more for merry making than mourning.

"I have little time left to take on the task," Inunis said as she reached out and repositioned Tauriel's fingers on the instrument. "I could give you the name of someone who can."

"Perhaps you could introduce me to them," Tauriel said. "We could get something to eat and.."

"No," Inunis said as she took the instrument from Tauriel. "This is where I belong."

Tauriel sat with Inunis for awhile but there was little she could do but leave the musician sitting by the pool. By the time she had reached the exit Inunis had again lifted her voice in lamentation; leaving Tauriel to flee in tears.

\---

Thranduil was sitting at his desk with a glass of wine and Galion beside him taking notes as he dictated when Tauriel burst into his chambers. "Do you hear that?" Tauriel asked as she came to stand before her king without even a bow. "That is one of your people. She's singing herself to death and you're doing nothing to stop her!"

"Galion, will you send a healer down to Inunis once more? She will continue to refuse any intervention, but I will not be accused of neglecting my people."

"My Lord," Galion said then gave Tauriel a warning look before bowing and leaving the room.

Tauriel's shoulders slumped. "You know about her?"

Thranduil raised his eyebrows. "I know you think little of me Tauriel but what kind of monster do you think I am to neglect any one of my people?" Tauriel shook her head in confusion.

"Then why is she still there? Why haven't you stopped her from fading?"

"You think I have such power over my subjects? It is Inunis' choice to fade. She has lost much and I would give her more consideration than was given me. I will not force her into a bleak eternity without her husband."

"But they will meet again," Tauriel said. "She just needs to wait. She could sail to Valinor... She could.."

Thranduil put up his hand to silence Tauriel then stood and walked around his desk toward her. "She does not have the heart to wait. You would have her suffer further?"

Tauriel looked up at Thranduil adorned in silver robes shot with gold and swallowed hard. She affixed her gaze to the brooch at his throat to keep from meeting his eyes. "I would have her suffer not at all."

"Such is the price of war, Tauriel," Thranduil told her softly as he moved a strand of hair from her face. "There will always be a lover, child, parent left behind to mourn the dead."

"I- I know that," Tauriel said as tears flowed from her eyes.

Thranduil reached out and put his hand on he shoulder. "But it another thing all together to face it." Tauriel nodded her head then stepped forward and put her arms around her king and wept.

She had seen death before, but never so close. Battles with spiders had always been successful and for the most part she had always known peace. The aftermath of battle with other well armed opponents was new to her.

Thranduil stood in shock for a moment before putting his arms around her and pulling her to him as her body was racked with sobs.

"Tauriel," Thranduil admonished gently then rested his cheek atop her head. How long had it been since someone had sought such contact from him? He had not comforted another in such away since Legolas was small. He began rocking her from side to side as he threaded his hands through her hair.

"I was wrong and you were right," Tauriel sobbed against her king's chest as she curled her fingers in his robes and pushed her face into them.

"Your desires were noble," Thranduil said as he continued to caress her hair. "There will always be battles. This is not the first nor shall it be the last." He closed his eyes tight as Tauriel snuggled against him. If he could hold her a little closer, a little tighter, maybe it would ease the sudden ache in his chest.

"When will it ever end?" Tauriel asked as she pulled away slightly and looked into Thranduil's eyes. He swallowed hard as he allowed his gaze to travel over her face, stopping at her mouth where his focus fixed.

"Ever it has been and ever it will be," he said in a rough voice as he bent forward almost closing the distance between their mouths. Tauriel blinked a moment then pulled away from him with a gasp, leaving Thranduil feeling bereft.

"Well it's wrong," she told him angrily. "All of this and everything it's all wrong and I won't accept it." With that she turned on her heel and ran.

Thranduil stood still for several moments still reeling from the feel of her in his arms and the sting of her words. He put shaking fingers to his lips, that even now ached to be pressed to hers. "You're right," he whispered. "It is terribly wrong."

\---

It took Thranduil pacing around his chambers several times and a bottle of wine before he was able to compose himself enough that he felt he could face another. Luckily, Galion was too upset to notice the restlessness of his king when her returned from his errand.

"She asked me not to return," Galion told Thranduil. "There is nothing the healers can do."

"Of course," Thranduil said as he took his seat. "At least she is silent for the moment."

"They gave me herbs. I lit a fire and left them smoking around her. At least she will sleep and we will have peace for a few hours." Galion told his king as he stood with his hands behind his back watching Thranduil pace.

Thranduil sighed. "Have her brought to my evening sitting room and have her set up as comfortably as possible. I want a bed made for her. Hang curtains to dim the light.

"My Lord?" Galion asked his brow furrowing in confusion. "Are you going to try to stop her? I fear she is too far gone to save."

"I would see Inunis comfortable. I've been remiss in my care. She has no other family. I also need to set Tauriel upon a task and there is much Inunis can teach her in the little time she has left."

Galion bowed. "Should I have Tauriel made aware of her new task as well?" Thranduil sat at his desk and pressed the tips of his fingers together as he thought a moment.

"Excellent idea, Galion. Send her to the healers first for instructions on how to make Inunis more comfortable without prolonging her suffering, then to return to my sitting room to tend to her patient."

"My Lord." Galion bowed then left the room, leaving Thranduil feeling slightly satisfied as he surveyed the stacks of letters and requests on his desk.

\---

Tauriel couldn't believe her ears when Galion hunted her down. He found her hiding in a cove near the dungeon and told her of her new task. How the king's secretary had found her she would never know. He said nothing as he ducked his head into her hidy hole where she sat with her knees pulled up to her chest and crying silent tears.

"Our King has assigned you a task," he told her as if she had been expecting him. "You are to attend to it immediately."

That was how now found herself standing at a table in the healing house watching two healers argue back and forth as they crushed herbs.

"At least the mournful singing has ceased," the eldest said as she looked up at Tauriel. "As beautiful as her singing is..."

"Was," the younger healer amended. "She may live yet but Inunis is lost to us."

"As beautiful as her singing is," the elder continued firmly. "It was making carrying on with daily tasks difficult. Inunis isn't the only one of us who lost someone."

"Make a tea of this," the younger healer said as she handed Tauriel a packet of herbs. "Two teaspoons steeped for five minutes and it becomes a mild sedative that should ease a bit of her pain. Steeped for ten minutes and it will give her a restful sleep."

"This salve is for her hands," the elder healer said as she passed Tauriel a jar. "I doubt she'll be able to play the lute as it will numb her fingers, but it will ease the pain."

Tauriel sighed. "What about saving her life? We're just going to let her fade?" The younger healer shook her head.

"I could give you a broth to nourish her body, but if her fea does not wish to stay then it will do little but prolong her suffering."

"And thank you for tending to her Tauriel," the elder healer said. "We would have taken on the task but we have other patients to take care for who wish to be saved."

Tauriel bowed to the healers respectfully then made her way back to Thranduil's apartments. She stopped at the door for a moment before knocking. This was the last place she wanted to be and she hoped Thranduil would allow her to tend to her charge elsewhere.

"Welcome," Galion said as he opened the door. Tauriel smiled and bowed, relieved that it wasn't Thranduil standing before her. She followed him through an antechamber into a large white marble room. Sheer curtains of royal blue, crimson, and gold hung around a large sofa and several chairs with a fire pit in the center. Tauriel looked up and around, listening to the ringing of wind chimes hanging around the balcony before making her way to the make shift bed where Inunis lay.

Galion tucked a blanket over Inunis and shook his head. "She has been asleep since she was brought here. It could be that your job will be made easy and she won't wake. If she does she will not be pleased to find herself removed from the pools. I doubt she has the energy to rise but that does not mean she will not try."

"Thank you," Tauriel said as she put the packet of herbs and salve on a low table.

"Ask for anything you may need and I will see to it," Galion told her.

"A teapot and two cups," Tauriel told him as she sat down on the edge of Inunis' bed and examined the woman's raw fingers. "And water to make tea." Galion bowed and left the room and Tauriel let out a deep breath then reached for the jar of salve and began treating Inunis' fingers."

\----

Thranduil did not appear until very late in the evening. Admittedly he had been forcing himself to stay away, but he could delay it no longer.

Tauriel was sitting in a soft chair nodding off into sleep as he stepped past the circle of curtains. He smiled slightly then let the expression slide from his face as he turned to Inunis, who was also asleep. He moved toward the mourning lady and brushed his fingers over her brow and closed his eyes.

"Is she still alive?" Tauriel asked her voice was thick with sleep and Thranduil didn't trust himself to turn and look at her.

"Alive." Thranduil answered. "It depends on how you define being alive. For now she lives. Her body is exhausted."

Tauriel sat up in the chair she was slumped in and wiped the sleep from her eyes. "Will she wake?"

"I fear so," Thranduil answered then finally turned to look at Tauriel. She was life itself, with her rosy complexion, the light in her eyes and fire kissed hair. He gave her a small smile and a nod before he sat in the chair beside her.

"What time is it?" Tauriel asked as she looked toward the balcony to see nothing but darkness.

"It is not yet midnight," Thranduil answered. "Have you eaten?"

"Yes. Galion brought me a tray earlier." Tauriel said. "He is very efficient."

Thranduil frowned as Tauriel smirked at him. "Indeed. That is his job."

"We," Tauriel started then put her hand to her mouth and giggled. "I mean Legolas and I have always called him your wife."

Thranduil raised his eyebrows. "Is that so?"

Tauriel bit her lip and looked down at her hands. "I didn't mean to upset you by saying that. It's just that he is so dedicated to you. He really has little life of his own."

Thranduil narrowed his eyes at Tauriel and wondered if she was intentionally trying to wound him or just wanted to pick a fight. "Galion's service is his choice. He is unhappy taking time away from his duties. He is free to do as he pleases."

"And he is your friend?"

Thranduil looked into the fire for a moment before answering. "As much as he will allow himself to be."

Tauriel tilted her head to the side as she watched the play of firelight and shadows on Thranduil's face. "Or as much as you will allow him to be."

Thranduil gave her a sharp look. "I know this topic well from many arguments with Legolas. I am king, Tauriel."

She shook her head and frowned before looking over at Inunis for a moment before asking, "Does that mean you must be a lone mountain without companionship?"

"Yes," Thranduil answered. "And how I prefer it to be. Is it impossible to find yourself in my presence without being contentious?"

"I'm sorry, my lord," Tauriel said as she dropped her gaze from his face from the fire. "It is simply that Legolas and I have always worried for you and..."

Thranduil put up his hand to silence her. He wondered if she was using Legolas' name as a form or protection. He would rather forget that this was the elleth his son had pinned his hopes on. For a moment, at her words, he imagined Tauriel and Legolas wed and it made him feel weak and sick. Even now Legolas could return and it was possible that with time he could claim Tauriel's heart.

"I'm sorry," Tauriel whispered again and he looked up at her.

"It is not your job to concern yourself over me," he said then gestured to Inunis. "There is your only concern at this time. Prepare yourself. She is waking."

Tauriel swallowed hard then turned her attention to Inunis whose eyes snapped open. The singer bolted upright and looked around frantically.

"Peace," Tauriel told her as she moved forward to calm Inunis. "All is well."

"No," Inunis panted as she felt around her bedding as if searching for something. "It is not well. Where is it?"

"My lady," Thranduil said as he placed her lute before her. "We would not have taken your husband's lute from you. Be still." Inunis clutched the instrument to her chest as if it were her child and wept.

"My king," she said. "Where am I?" She allowed Thranduil to move closer and take on of her cold, pale hands in his.

"In my chambers, Lady Inunis. You deserve far more than to linger near the cold waters. I want only for your comfort."

Tauriel sat back on her heels and watched as Inunis shook her head violently. "It matters not for my comfort it will only prolong my sorrow. Take me back to the pools so I might remember my husband in my last hours."

"Your sorrow will not be prolonged. I did not bring you here to stop your leave taking but to honor one of my people and an old friend as you deserve. Lady Tauriel has been charged to attend you. There will be no interference. I swear it."

Tauriel swallowed hard. "The healers gave me herbs for tea to ease your pain. May I make some for you?"

"It matters not," Inunis said her eyes still on Thranduil's face. She looked at Tauriel for a moment then blinked as a cup of warm liquid was put in her hands.

"Will you drink for me?" Tauriel asked and Inunis finally met her eyes. Inunis took the cup and brought it to her lips and Thranduil moved back to his seat.

"It tastes like winter," Inunis said then licked her dry lips. "Snow and ice and yet it's warm. Perhaps it is my heart that fails to be warmed."

Tauriel nodded her head. "It is not to heal you, just to ease your body." She smiled as Inunis emptied the cup then helped fluff the pillows and arraigned blankets around her.

"I will take my leave now," Thranduil said as he stood.

"Thranduil, King?" Tauriel called as he turned away. "Thank you." His only answer was a short bow before he pushed the curtains aside and vanished from the room.

Inunis watched Tauriel for a moment then spoke. "I know you cannot play the lute, but can you sing, Lady Tauriel?"

Tauriel turned to her patient and nodded her head. "Not as well as you, but yes."

Inunis nodded her head once in satisfaction. "Good. I will only continue to rest as long as you are willing to sing for me." Tauriel swallowed hard then agreed.

"What would you like to hear?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 3/28/17


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song for this chapter is Carry Me - Eurielle - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyn8gAYtNu4  
> and Roseiral by Ana Lanis
> 
> And now on with our story:
> 
> \-----

Thranduil groaned as he pulled a pillow over his head. He had been tossing and turning for the last hour, and while he really didn't need to sleep every night he did enjoy the respite from stress. Tonight he would not have a moment of peace. Tauriel's sweet and high singing voice carried down the hall to his bed chamber making him feel restless and lonely.

He wished for the hundredth time that he'd put more thought into bringing Inunis to his rooms, but he had only considered two things; one was to honor his debt and friendship with Inunis and the other was that he had been enchanted with the thought of having Tauriel within easy reach. He wouldn't have to go traipsing through the palace to stand at her door. Unfortunately, having her within his personal apartments was a different sort of torture.

Thranduil managed to drift into restless dreams where he chased formless shadows through overly bright hallways. He woke to the scent of impending snow drifting through the windows and finally threw himself from the bed.

Galion had laid out a lavender and silver robe that was so light that Thranduil was certain it was intended for summer use. Galion tended to do such things from time to time especially when he was stressed, though Thranduil never complained.

Thranduil straightened his sleep mussed hair, double checked his robe, then made his way toward the sitting room, stopping to order a pot of tea from one of the servants who always lingered near to attend to his needs.

He found Tauriel asleep with her head in Inunis' lap when he parted the curtains. The fire was out and Inunis was looking down at Tauriel fondly as she wrapped a lock of red hair around her fingers.

"My Lord," she said as she looked up at Thranduil. Her wistful smile wavered and she returned her attention to sleeping Tauriel.

"How does the morning find you?" Thranduil asked as put a blanket over Tauriel and began rebuilding the fire as Inunis settled the blanket around the sleeping elleth.

"Alive," Inunis responded her voice though still hoarse from overuse was melodic and beautiful. "And filled with questions."

Thranduil quirked and eyebrow at Inunis then sat near by. "What sort of questions?" His gaze flickered to Tauriel for a moment before he set his attention to the fire.

Inunis combed her fingers through Tauriel's hair. "This is the orphan child you bade Gelben and I to foster is she not?"

"She is," Thranduil answered. "She and her parents lived in a village near the edge of the wood. They chose to settle too near Dol Guldur. One day they were set upon by an unusually large pack of orcs. Only Tauriel survived as her parents hid her away. She was very young and in need of protection and guidance so she was brought to my halls."

Inunis pressed her lips together. "What happened that you no longer needed someone to take her on? If I recall Gelben was very put out. Looking back I wasn't very interested in the aspect of a fosterling, but now that I see her, know her, I would have been happy and proud to call her daughter."

"Legolas happened," Thranduil answered and turned to the side as the door to the room opened. "He did not wish for me to send her away so she became a ward of my kingdom." A servant arrived with tea and Thranduil waited for the servant to leave to resume speaking.

"She grew up at Legolas' side and spent much of her formative years with the guard as that was Legolas' interest. I was glad for him to have the distraction and a companion to keep him out of harm's way. Perhaps it wasn't what was best for Tauriel." Thranduil opened his mouth to say more, but he stopped himself.

Inunis frowned. "It must have been very lonely for her."

"She learned to fight which is what she most desired," Thranduil continued, as he avoided Inunis' question. "And eventually earned a place in my guard and then after that she was promoted to captain. For the first two hundred years she burned to avenge her parents and worked very hard."

"So she is a gifted fighter?"

"Yes," Thranduil said as he avoided looking at Tauriel. "I trained her to fight myself. Legolas has always supported her through any enemy engagements. Until recently she had never known the bitterness of defeat. Sadly, I don't think such success has served her well. There is much she doesn't understand."

"She told me a bit of her lover, Kili. It sorrows my heart that she had so little time with him." Inunis watched as Thranduil bristled at her words. She narrowed her eyes as she read her king's tense body language at the mention of Tauriel's dwarf lover. "You had an issue with him?"

Thranduil tilted his head. "The fact that Kili was a dwarf should be answer enough as to my issue."

"That explains a great deal," Inunis said then took a deep breath. "I wonder why she didn't mention it? Ah well never mind it doesn't matter now. So, she threatened your life an was banished though you allowed her back.   
"You are bitterly angry at her, Legolas has taken off on a mysterious journey and she is lost." Thranduil looked down at the steam rising from his cup to avoid showing Inunis how her words affected him. Was he bitterly angry at Tauriel? Bitter perhaps but angry no. More than anything he was relieved that he hadn't lost her.

"Legolas was.. Legolas is in love with her," Thranduil finally forced himself to reply. "He is angry with me because I bade him to stay his suit. I wanted him to wait for a more opportune time." Thranduil put down his cup as an icy breeze blew in from the balcony.

"Then he should come back," Inunis said her face lighting up slightly. "I am certain Tauriel would accept him. It would take time perhaps for her to heal from her broken heart. She clearly holds a great affection for him. They could be happy together."

"No," Thranduil said so forcefully that Inunis' mouth opened in surprise. She blinked a few times as she watched Thranduil compose himself before she continued. "You don't think they would be good for each other? What issue could you possibly have against them?"

Thranduil dropped his gaze down to the floor and shook his head. He had no ready answer, at least nothing Inunis would believe. "Thranduil?" Inunis prodded.

"You are right," Thranduil agreed in defeat. "I should send for him." He clenched his fists and closed his eyes.

Inunis gave him a sad smile. "I know you. I knew you before you met Meldis. I loved you then you know."

The corners of Thranduil's mouth quirked into a sly smile. "I knew. I also knew Gelben loved you as well." Inunis chuckled as she continued to wind a lock of Tauriel's hair around her finger.

"It all worked out as it should have. I remember when you met Meldis. You both knew instantly." The smile on her face fell and she dropped her head. "Gelben," she whispered.

Thranduil closed his eyes against shedding hid own tears along with Inunis then took a long drink of tea. He should have asked for wine to make facing so much sorrow easier. He could imagine Galion wouldn't speak to him for the rest of the day if he partook so early. He didn't feel like dealing with a petulant assistant all day and so his cup held nothing but tea.

Both Thranduil and Inunis were silent for awhile before the singer turned to her king and asked, "How did you manage, Thranduil? To stay? To not die? I remember you were so wounded..." Her words trailed off as she lifted her hand to wipe away several of hear tears.

"Legolas." Thranduil answered. "He was not ready to become king. He had lost his mother and had I followed I believe he would have as well. There was no other choice."

Inunis searched her dress pockets then wiped her eyes on the cloth in her hand. "You are Thranduil, King of the Woodland Realm. I cannot say I did not expect such strength from you. I just didn't understand until now the pain..." Thranduil inclined his head in understanding then looked at Tauriel who was stirring.

"I smell snow," she said hoarsely as she sat up. She pushed the hair from her face then jolted as she realized Thranduil was sitting nearby. She tried to straighten her posture and her clothes and cursed herself for letting herself be found in such a weak state.

Inunis lovingly ran her hand down Tauriel's arm. "I think it is fitting that I take leave with the first snow. Gelben loved it so." Tauriel shot Thranduil a look of distress but he avoided her gaze as he stood and moved the curtains aside to allow in the diffuse morning light.

"Would you like me to take you out to the garden, My Lady?" he asked without looking at Tauriel.

Tauriel wiped her eyes and looked at Inunis who had turned to the balcony with a wistful look on her face. "I would like that very much, My King."

"I don't think that would be advisable," Tauriel tried to object as she watched Thranduil gather Inunis into his arms though neither the king or Inunis paid her heed as she followed them out into the frost.

"No tea, Lady Tauriel," Inunis said as she sat on a cold, gray marble bench looking up at the cold, gray sky. "I am content here." She looked at Thranduil who stood close by and smiled slightly. "Thank you my dear King." Thranduil's answer was a brief bow as he turned his attention to the sky as the elleth took a deep peaceful breath the closed her eyes.

Tauriel put her hand to her mouth as the first snowflakes began falling. They fell on Inunis' face like starlight, not melting as they did against her own skin. She looked at Thranduil who was standing with his back to her, his hands clasped behind him as he too looked up at the sky. She looked up a moment but could see nothing but the swirl of white snowflakes falling from the gray sky.

"I am going to get a healer," Tauriel said then turned and ran from the garden. She didn't want Inunis to fade and hoped to somehow stop the process. Neither Thranduil or Inunis bothered to call after her.

Thranduil stood as the snow fell around he and Inunis, but he did not look at his friend as she sang a hauntingly wordless tune until she reached out her hand toward him.

"My king," she whispered and he knelt beside her and brushed the snow from her face.

"Rest, Inunis," he told her and she smiled. "Rest and be at peace.

"I've grown too weak to sing. Would you honor me, My Lord? Just one song?"

"How could I possibly deny you?" Thranduil told her as he clasped the icy hand she held out to him. He had to clear his throat, which was clogged with tears of his own as he searched his memory for an appropriate song for the occasion.

Inunis smiled. "Then I also ask one last favor. Please protect and love her, My King," she said. "She has a great a need for you as you do for her."   
Thranduil shook his head in confusion and asked what she meant but Inunis shook her head. "You know very well what I am speaking of, Thranduil. You cannot hide it from me. Now sing."

   
"As you wish, My Lady," Thranduil answered then kissed the back of her hand before parting his lips to sing. That was how Tauriel found them when he returned.

Thranduil was singing a mournful song in Quenyan which Tauriel had never heard before. The sorrow in it shook her to her core as she stumbled back into the garden. She looked at Inunis who seemed to only be sleeping though her face was dusted with snow. She didn't dare interrupt until Thranduil's song ended.

"My Lord?" she asked as she twisted her hands together and bit her lip as tears shimmered on her eyelashes.

"Foolish, Tauriel," Thranduil said then leaned down and placed a kiss on Inunis' brow. "You left me to see to your task. Now go fetch a guard. I want her brought down to be buried before nightfall."

Tauriel swallowed hard and inwardly berated herself as she watched the snowflakes gracing her king's bare head. She could see the tears shimmering on his cheeks and she longed to go to him, to be as much of a comfort to him as he had always been to her.

"Now!" Thranduil commanded, breaking Tauriel out of her trance with a jolt, making her turn and run.   
When she returned with a guard Thranduil was standing nearby, though he wouldn't look at her. Tauriel watched and waited as the guard gathered Inunis into his arms and walked from the garden before putting her hands over her mouth and bowing her head to cry.

"Tauriel," Thranduil whispered as he placed his hand on her bowed head. She stepped toward him, shivering as tears coursed down her face. She looked up to meet his gaze and held it. He swallowed the lump in his throat then opened his arms, shivering himself as she walked into his embrace and filled perfectly the ache and emptiness which had been his only companion since his wife passed.

"I failed her," Tauriel sobbed against his robes as he tried not to marvel at finding her soft, sweet form in his arms and wondered if he would have to manufacture tragedy after tragedy to justify holding her. Even then he shouldn't allow it, but he could no more help it than he could stop the snow from falling.

"I failed you too," Tauriel continued. "I don't understand. It is as though having failed once I am now thrown into a constant spiral of defeat." Thranduil hummed thoughtfully as he closed his eyes and let his cheek rest against her head.

"We all have suffered moments that do not go as planned. You were in denial about Inunis fading," He finally said as he breathed in the smell of her and marveled how it hadn't changed since the last time he'd allowed himself to hold her for so long.

Tauriel shifted slightly in his embrace and he pulled her closer for fear he would lose this sweet contact before he was ready. "And it is my own fault," She continued. "I was too stubborn to listen. To her. To the healers. To you."

Thranduil chuckled as he turned and caressed her hair with his lips. "You have always been stubborn and brash, Tauriel. I would expect no less of you. I wanted you to see the price of the war you wanted and I fear perhaps I put too much on your shoulders."

Tauriel rubbed her face in his robes. It was such a sweet and innocent thing to do, almost like a child, that Thranduil felt guilty at the bone melting heat that coursed through his blood, heavy with want . There was no cold, no snow. Only Tauriel pressed against him. He swallowed hard with the sweet torture of it.

"And what of you?" Tauriel asked as she pulled away, though only enough to look up at him to his relief.

"Me?" Thranduil asked as he took in her tear stained face, bewildered at the question.

Tauriel frowned as she ventured her hand up to touch his face. "How are you faring, My Lord? Inunis' fading must have been painful for you as well." Her question took his breath away. When was the last time someone other than Legolas cared enough about him as an individual to ask how he felt? Of course Galion was constantly inquiring such, but that was his job. Others asked also, but their questions were about the kingdom, not really himself.

Without thinking he turned his head and placed a kiss on Tauriel's palm then closed his eyes. "I am well. Thank you," he said as he moved away from her. How was it that he felt real physical pain as be broke contact with her?

He looked to see that Tauriel was holding her hand to her chest and giving him a look he was afraid to decipher. "My Lord?" she asked then opened her palm and looked at it.

"You should go rest," Thranduil said as he turned away from her.

"If it's all right may I stay? I don't wish to be alone."

Thranduil turned back to Tauriel and gave her a questioning look. She had not run from his show of affection. She did not look upset or frightened, only sad and lost. "Come with me," he said as he took her hand and lead her back inside, through his evening sitting room and across to the morning room where there was always a fire lit and breakfast waiting at this time of day.

Tauriel watched him with wide eyes as he moved blankets and pillows around then sat in a lounging chair and opened his arms.

"Come," he said and she didn't hesitate to snuggle up beside him as he wrapped her in a blanket and his arms.

"Thank you," she said as she rested her head against his chest and closed her eyes. She didn't question why he was offering her such intimacy. Long ago, when she was younger, she had often been the recipient of such affection. If anything she was happy to see their strained relationship repairing itself.

"There is no need to thank me, Tauriel. I myself do not wish to be alone." He began stroking her hair and she yawned. Neither said another word as they both drifted to sleep.

\----

Galion stopped in his tracks and stared with an open mouth as he walked into Thranduil's morning sitting room and found him asleep with Tauriel in his arms. He took a step forward and then another and another until he was standing directly before them, his expression grim and disapproving.

Thranduil face was graced with a peaceful smile and Galion frowned. He warred with leaving his king to sleep, something he rarely did so peacefully, or waking him to start the business of the day. Galion perhaps would have left him if he did not notice how tightly his king held Tauriel. He gritted his teeth then shook Thranduil's shoulder.

"My king!" He hissed. "It is time to wake." Guilt prodded at him as Thranduil stirred then opened his eyes which filled with an all too familiar sorrow.

"Galion, why do you disturb my peace?" he asked roughly not quite fully awake as he snuggled his face into Tauriel's hair.

"Thranduil!" Galion said loudly and Thranduil's eyes shot open and looked at Galion in shock for addressing him by name.

"This is very untoward," Galion continued as he gestured to Tauriel who remained asleep though her eyebrows furrowed with the disturbance.

"Ah," Thranduil replied then slid himself off the lounge. He tucked blankets around her then turned to Galion who was glaring at him with disapproval.

"What are you wearing?" Galion asked as he folded his arms over his chest.

Thranduil gave him a confused look as he examined the light robe he wore. "I am wearing what was left out for me."

Galion sucked in the corners of his mouth. "Well it's entirely inappropriate for the season. Come with me and I'll help you change." He began walking toward Thranduil's bedroom only to find his king bent to place a kiss on the top of Tauriel's head.

"My Lord?" he asked as he clenched his hands into fists.

"I'm coming," Thranduil answered as he reluctantly left Tauriel behind. "Are you feeling well? You seem to be in a terrible mood."

Galion followed Thranduil into his bedroom and across into the dressing room. "It must be the weather," he said as he pulled a long thick blood red jacket made of heavy brocade out of the closet along with a cream colored tunic and leggings to go beneath.

Thranduil tilted his head to the side. "I don't recall that the cold weather has bothered you before." He allowed his assistant to help him out of the summer robe then laughed as Galion attempted to dress him.

"I can do this myself," he said as he moved away from Galion's chilled fingers against his bare skin. "You really are not yourself at all."

"Well I have never found you in such a compromising position as I did this morning," Galion replied as he turned to the table and grabbed a pin to hold Thranduil's robe closed.

Thranduil's eyebrows furrowed. "Inunis faded this morning. Both Tauriel and I were mourning her passing. I do not think taking comfort in each other's company is anyway compromising."

Galion gave him a sour look as Thranduil plucked the pin from his fingers and fastened his robe himself. Meanwhile, Galion grabbed a brush and began smoothing out his hair.

"Really, Galion," Thranduil growled in irritation as he pulled away. "I can tend to myself. Please leave me in peace. I will see you in a few minutes and we can go over today's agenda."

Galion folded his arms over his chest and glared at Thranduil who gave him a bewildered look.

"That was an order," Thranduil said and Galion finally turned on his heel and marched from the room.

Thranduil shook his head as he finished readying himself for the day then made his way back to the morning room. He knelt down next to Tauriel and shook her awake.

"My Lord?" she asked as she sat up and looked around the room then at Thranduil. She gave him a sweet smile that sent his heart soaring and he couldn't help but return it.

"Forgive me for leaving you," he told her as he tired and failed to let go of the hand he held. "As always there is much I must attend to. Please feel free to stay here. Ask for anything you need. I will return in the evening and we can talk if you wish."

Tauriel nodded her head then slipped her hand out of Thranduil's. "I am going to attend to Inunis' burial then maybe I'll return."

"You are welcome to come and go as you please," Thranduil told her as he stood.

"Why?" Tauriel asked. "What have I done to deserve such a privilege?"

Thranduil took a deep breath. "Nothing, but that your company pleases me. I must go, Galion is waiting."

===

"Another letter from Elrond," Galion announced as he placed it on Thranduil's desk.

"A cup of wine," Thranduil ordered as he took the letter. It was a very thick scroll and he rolled his eyes as he looked at the so red it was almost black seal of Elrond. Instead of opening it he dropped the letter inside the nearest drawer.

"Are you not going to read it?" Galion asked as he blinked owlishly at his king.

"No," Thranduil answered as he moved on with his business. Galion had been in a strange mood since this morning and he was unsure how to deal with it.

Galion shifted uncomfortably. "But what if something has happened to Legolas? What if he needs you?"

Thranduil blinked slowly at Galion. "If something had happened to Legolas or if he needed me, Elrond would send more than one of his wind bag letters. Now, did I not ask for wine?"

Galion shook his head. "It is not even past the noon hour, My Lord."

Thranduil pinched the bridge of his nose and leaned back in his chair. "Galion, the meeting with the forest council will stretch through the afternoon into the evening. I am asking for a simple glass of wine to fortify myself against the frustration and boredom."

"Are you not naming Captain Tauriel's replacement since she betrayed you?" Galion asked. "I thought direction of your guard interested you."

Thranduil growled under his breath before answering, "The naming of a new captain is incidental. If I fetch the wine myself I assure you it will be an entire bottle. It is your choice."

"And you will read the letter from Elrond?" Galion questioned as he folded his arms over his chest.

"I would sooner pitch it into the fire," Thranduil answered through clenched teeth. He sighed as Galion reluctantly left the room, fidgeted for a moment, then retrieved Elrond's letter, broke the seal and began reading it.

Upon his return Galion gave him an irksome smile of satisfaction as he placed the glass of wine on Thranduil's desk. He stood and looked at his king for a moment and waited.

"What news did Lord Elrond send?" Galion finally asked after it became clear Thranduil wasn't going to volunteer information.

Thranduil drank down the wine then put the cup on his desk and gave Galion an irritated glare. Unfortunately, Galion had grown accustom to Thranduil's moods and was unmoved.

"Legolas is well. The letter was of a personal nature."

Galion nodded in understanding. "And you're going to reply this time?"

"No," Thranduil answered as he stood. "The Lord of Imladris may enjoy writing long winded epistles full of unwanted advice and opinions but I do not enjoy answering them." With that he walked from the room and toward the council chambers leaving Galion to follow him in consternation.

\---

Tauriel sat in the gathering dusk beside Inunis' graveside. She had lost her singing voice hours ago but still managed to hum as she rocked back and forth, occasionally whipping tears from her face. A hand landed on her shoulder and she looked up into the sympathetic eyes of Uron.

"It's cold," he told her. "Come with me. Mae has a blanket for you and we need to talk." Tauriel looked toward the entrance where Maethoreth, Uron's betrothed and one of her closest friends, waited.

"Can you stand?" Uron asked and Tauriel nodded her head though she accepted her friend's help from the cold ground.

"You're like ice!" Maethoreth cried as she wrapped a clock around Tauriel's shoulders. "What was our king thinking, letting you sit out here for hours to mourn?"

"It was my choice," Tauriel answered hoarsely, feeling more than a little dazed.

Maethoreth put her arm around Tauriel. "You are coming to stay with me," she said. "Uron and I don't want you to be alone. You've been through so much and I think the king is wrong to allow you to sit idle."

"I don't want to impose," Tauriel said. What she wanted now was to go to her own bed and cry until she had no more tears then sleep, though she was very tempted to take Thranduil up on his offer to return to his quarters.

"I have been made captain," Uron said from behind her.

She stopped, looked at her friend and gave him an genuine smile. "I'm so happy for you. I cannot think of anyone more worthy."

Maethoreth tightened her arm around Tauriel. "With his promotion, Uron and I have finally been allowed to set a wedding date. Early Summer and we want you to stand as ring bearer for us."

"Of course," Tauriel said as she put her arm around her friend. "I would be honored."

Uron cleared his throat. "But we can't start our lives together while worrying about you." Tauriel opened her mouth to tell him not to be silly but Maethoreth interrupted her.

"Since you have no longer have an occupation, my parents have agreed to take you on as an apprentice." Tauriel gave her friend a startled look. Maethoreth's parents were clothiers. Her father sewed while her mother did fine embroidery. Tauriel had spent many hours with them and her friend helping them during busy seasons.

"You have a new life," Maethoreth said happily. "And a family who loves and accepts you."

Tauriel gave a small chuckle. "You're worried about me fading." Both Uron and Maethoreth looked at each other with guilt.

"Yes," Uron finally admitted. "But more than that you are our friend."

"Family," Maethoreth added and Uron smiled at her.

"Thank you," Tauriel said. She had been worrying about her future and hadn't thought anyone would be willing to accept her into a new occupation given her betrayal of the king and her failures.

"Let's get you something warm to eat and then we can talk." Maethoreth said. Tauriel smiled and nodded feeling very grateful to have such good friends.

\----

Thranduil had drunk too much wine. He could admit it. Unfortunately it had done little to sooth the ache in his chest. He had hoped Tauriel would be waiting for him on his return earlier in the evening and the disappointment of finding her gone made him feel bitter and hurt. He had sent Galion to retrieve her what seemed like hours ago and had heard nothing.

He poured another glassful of wine then walked out to the balcony. He dusted the snow from stone ledges with one hand while he sipped his wine and enjoyed the bite of the icy wind swirling snowflakes around him.

"My Lord," Galion said as he stood in the entry way. "I have news of Tauriel. She stayed by Inunis' graveside until sunset then was seen to by her friends. She is warm and well. Better that she seeks comfort from those she's familiar with. Do you not agree?"

"Yes," Thranduil agreed reluctantly. Then turned away from his assistant. "There is no need for you to tarry longer. Go to your home. Relax."

Galion dithered by the door for a moment looking down at his feet as he shuffled them in the light dusting of snow. "It would be my pleasure to stay and keep you company, My King."

Thranduil didn't turn to look at Galion though he shook his head. They had this conversation nearly every night and he had grown weary of it. "No. You've done enough. Go. Rest. I prefer to be alone." Galion sighed heavily.

"As you wish, My Lord." He watched Thranduil for a moment then turned to take his leave.

"I won't drink too much wine," Thranduil said, as he anticipated Galion's words. "Please go."

\---

Thranduil, having as always ignored his words to Galion and drank too much wine, stumbled to his bedroom several hours after midnight where he carelessly shrugged off his robe, dropped his rings and crown on the floor and let himself fall face first into bed.

He had not drank enough wine to still his mind and his thoughts wandered to Elrond's letter. It was just as well that Tauriel had chosen to stay away from him. He had no right to seek her affection.

Elrond had spoken of Legolas and how he had spilled his heart to the Lord of Imladris, who had in turn wrote to Thranduil begging him to send Tauriel so that their hearts could possibly be mended. Being as wise as he was, Elrond had taken the opportunity to list all the reasons Thranduil should allow Legolas and Tauriel to be together, even going so far as to speak of the beginning of his relationship with his own wife, Celebrían.

"Great mistakes cannot always be rectified, my friend," Elrond had written. "But in this you have the rare opportunity to mend a sundering not only of two potential lovers, but between yourself and Legolas as well."

Thranduil growled as he rolled on to his back. The last thing he wanted was Tauriel and Legolas together. As much as he knew it was right and good he could not bear the thought of it.

He tried to imagine their wedding feast and granting them a blessed life together and it made him feel ill and angry. Not because, as Elrond accused, that he thought Tauriel wasn't good enough. Of course she was. She was more than good enough. He simply wanted her for his own.

"Haven't I known enough pain, Elrond?" he said to the ceiling. "That I should be forced to give the one elleth, who after all this time makes me feel something other than sorrow and agony, over to my son to wed?" He covered his face with one hand.

He could imagine quite clearly Elrond's disapproval. "You have a wife waiting for you," Thranduil imagined Elrond saying with contempt. "How dare you betray her! How dare you betray your bond! You are faithless!"

"Yes," Thranduil agreed. "And corrupt and sick." He sighed as he sat up and finished disrobing for bed. He had pulled out a sheet of paper several times through the day to write Elrond, assuring him that Tauriel would be sent, only to become overwhelmed at the thought and throwing the letter in the fire to burn.

"And you're right," he continued speaking aloud. "I should send her. I will send her. But I need a little more time." He crawled beneath the covers of his bed and latched onto a pillow, holding it close in an effort to stem the ache in his chest before falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited April 3, 2017


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song for this chapter is There is No Light - Mairead Nesbitt - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19jqMrPzFAI

 

Five weeks of sitting silent, embroidering details on sleeves and collars was beginning to wear on Tauriel's nerves. She had always been a creature of action. Sitting still for long was impossible. She tried to focus on her work, but her mind kept wandering to other things. Frost on leaves, how soft Kili's hair had been, spring flowers, blue sky, Legolas and how she wished desperately he was here, and occasionally Thranduil.

"You messed up the pattern," Mae pointed out as she peered over Tauriel's shoulder. Tauriel paused to look at her work. 

"I cannot do this," She growled as she jabbed her sewing needle into the fabric and turned to her friend. "This quiet, tedious work is going to drive me insane, Mae."

Mae chuckled as she tucked her work away then stretched. "Then perhaps we should take a walk. We can go to the training ground and see what Uron is doing. Perhaps some sparing will help with your restlessness, even if it's only with me."

"Only with you," Tauriel scoffed then shook her head. Mae was adept with her blades and not easily bested. She stayed out of the king's guard as a favor to Uron who could not function well when she was out in the field. Tauriel admired Mae's willingness to change occupations for Uron, she wasn't sure she could do the same. She paused her thoughts for a moment as a wave of sadness washed over her. She may have had given up her soldier's life for anyone, but it was still gone.

They were greeted cheerfully as they entered the training grounds, with Uron stopping to smile at his betrothed before waving at Tauriel. 

"I'm glad you're here, Tauriel," he said as he made his way toward them. "I need to your insight."

"On what?" Tauriel asked as she pulled on a pair of fingerless gloves. 

"Spiders, orcs, the forest, their movements," Uron said. "They've been quiet as of late and it's unsettling."

"Perhaps they're taking time to recover from the last battle," Mae suggested.

"Or are simply regrouping and planning," Tauriel said. " This is a good time to route them from their hidey holes, and loosen their foothold in the forest. What does the king say?"

Uron folded his arm over his chest and frowned. "You know very well what our king says. He wants to veer on the side of caution and keep the guard close. He refuses to approve scouting missions over a day in length."

"Foolish!" Tauriel growled as she spun a knife in her hand. Both Uron and Mae took a step back as they watched her expression grow fierce. "When you confront him about it, what does he say?"

Uron laughed. "I am not you, Tauri. I do not confront him about it. I bow and scrape then do as he orders."

"Then I will," Tauriel said as she put the knives back on the shelf then turned to her friends. "If we do as he bids the forest will be overrun and then what?" Uron and Mae said nothing as they watched her march away.

\---

Both Thranduil and Galion looked up in surprise as Tauriel burst into Thranduil's office just as she did when she was Captain of the Guard, without announcement or warning. Galion frowned at her while the corner of Thranduil's lips curled into a slight smile. He had missed her terribly the last few weeks but had resolved not to seek her company.

"Lady Tauriel," Thranduil said as he sat back in his chair and pressed the tips of his fingers together. "To what do I owe this honor?"

Tauriel looked from Thranduil to Galion then back at Thranduil. "May I speak to you in private, My Lord?"

"Of course," Thranduil replied then looked at Galion who set his jaw and planted his feet on the floor as if he would refuse his king's order to leave. 

"Galion, was about to deliver a message to one of my counselors," Thranduil said as he handed Galion a sealed letter.

"I was," Galion agreed in a reluctant tone. "But perhaps it would be in your best interest for me to stay."

"Go," Thranduil ordered as he stood. "I would like to hear what Tauriel has to say and I doubt she will do so with you here." Tauriel nodded her head which left Galion with little choice but to leave. He took the letter and walked from the room, but not without giving Tauriel an angry glare.

"Galion's mood has been bad every time I see him as of late," Tauriel remarked. "What have you been doing to him?"

Thranduil smiled. "Ignoring his advice mostly. Please tell me, why did you march into my office with such spirit? I was almost expecting you to give me a report on spider's nests and to suggest we attack Dul Guldur within the week."

"That is exactly why I am here," Tauriel said as she began pacing around the room while Thranduil watched her every move. "Uron tells me that spider and orc activity have been at an all time low. Why won't you let the guard scout further than a day to ascertain their whereabouts?"

Thranduil sighed as he flopped back down in his seat. "Because their activity has decreased does not mean their numbers have. They are quiet for now. I would prefer not to spur them back into action."

"But this is the perfect time to attack," Tauriel said as she continued to pace. "We may never have an opportunity for such an advantage again. They lick their wounds, we should not let them heal."

Tranduil watched Tauriel pace for a moment then sat forward. "Are you so eager to enter battle so soon after the last? What of our army? Do they not deserve the chance to heal themselves?"

"The guard is ready and willing," Tauriel said. "But it is your inaction that keeps them bound to your halls. Let them route the foe from your forest and send a message that we will not allow them to grow strong again."

"Tell me what your plan would be," Thranduil asked. Tauriel was on fire with enthusiasm and life. She glowed with excitement and energy and it made Thranduil feel warm and he had been cold for so long her couldn't resist hearing her out.

"I would take a contingent of scouts down to the old forest road marking hide outs and nests as they went, then have them come back, gather soldiers then wage surprise attacks on each hideout and nest until they are decimated."

  
"And who would lead this contingent of scouts?" Thranduil asked with raised eyebrows.

Tauriel paused then frowned before casting her eyes to the floor. "Uron or one of your other captains I suppose."

"And Uron is ready to lead such a delicate mission?" Thranduil asked.

Tauriel kept her eyes on the floor as Thranduil stood then walked around his desk to stand before her. "If he wasn't, why would you have named him captain of your guard?"

"But," Thranduil said. "You want to lead them."

Tauriel let her eyes drift to the hem of his robes. "Of course I do."

"You more than want to," Thranduil accused.

Tauriel clenched her fists at her side. "Please don't tease me, My Lord. I know I am no longer a member of your guard. I know I am not allowed to leave your halls. I came her to appeal to what is left of your good sense, not to beg for something you will not give."

"Perhaps the enemy is only laying silent because of the weather," Thranduil suggested as he reached out to touch her then stopped himself. "This winter has been especially cold and the snows heavy. Can you see these scouts you speak of battling through snow drifts undetected?"

Tauriel lifted her eyes to meet Thranduil's. "They have before with little effort." 

"Ah," Thranduil said as he tilted his head. "They have? I don't recall the last time I allowed the guard to go out so far in winter. When was this?"

"Last winter," Tauriel answered without fear. "And I lead them without your permission." She lifted her chin as she held his gaze. "Are you going to punish me now? What more could you do? I have already lost that which gave my life meaning."

"Don't be silly," Thranduil told her. "There would be no point."

"I would do it again," Tauriel told him. "If I were captain."

"Stubborn, insubordinate," Thranduil replied as he forced himself to walk away from her. "That is something I have always found intriguing about you. And I must admit reports from the guard are not as interesting as they were when you were my captain."

"Because Uron fears and respects you," Tauriel told him then realized what she said and bit her lip. "I didn't mean I don't respect you."

"Of course you did," Thranduil accused as he turned back toward her. Tauriel shook her head as he walked close again though her gaze didn't waver from his.

"You are my king. Of course I respect you. I may not always agree with your decisions, but I do understand what a difficult task taking care of our people can be. Please forgive me."

Thranduil stopped as soon as she was an arms length away. "Forgiven," he said. "But you still do not fear me?" Tauriel shook her head and he smiled.

"Never fear me," Thranduil ordered in a tone of voice that sent shivers up Tauriel's spine. "I would never hurt you nor allow you to be hurt."

"You should tell Uron that there is no need to fear you and perhaps he would be more willing to give you his honest opinion rather than to just bow and scrape to your will."

"I quite like Uron how he is," Thranduil said then reached forward to touch a lock of Tauriel's hair. He smiled at the inquisitive look she gave him. 

"My Lord?" Tauriel asked as he moved closer still. 

"My King, I have an answer for you," Galion interrupted as he entered the room holding a sealed envelope. He took in Thranduil standing near Tauriel and frowned. "Am I disturbing something?"

Thranduil dropped his hand and turned from Tauriel. "No, of course not," he said then reached out for the letter Galion brought. "Tauriel relayed her news and was about to leave."

"We resolved nothing," Tauriel said as she looked at Galion's sour face then at Thranduil who had seemed about to open up until they were interrupted and was now closed off and grim.

"I will think on your words," Thranduil said tersely as he sat. She shook her head then looked at Galion who was now glaring at her. 

"And yet nothing will be resolved," Tauriel said. "I will not leave until..."

"No," Galion nearly shouted, startling both Thranduil and Tauriel. "You have no place here! You will do as your king bids and leave!" With that he grabbed Tauriel by the elbow and pushed her through the door.

"Galion!" Thranduil called then followed his assistant and Tauriel out the door. "Unhand her!"

"No!" Tauriel said as she pulled her arm from Galion's grip. "He's right. I am disturbing your work and I need to go."

"And you're rude," Galion added as he poked at her. "Undiscaplined, a traitor to your people, and a traitor to your king. You should be on your knees in thanks every day for the mercy he chose to grant you, not marching into his presence as though you are his equal."

Thranduil's mind was spinning. He could not fathom what was going on in Galion's head for him to overstep his bounds. He reached out and pushed Galion back into his chambers. "Go inside," he ordered. "Close the door and wait."

"My Lord," Galion said then bowed deeply and left Thranduil and Tauriel alone.

"Are you alright?" Thranduil nearly whispered as he gently took Tauriel's arm and examined her elbow where Galion had grabbed her. "Did he hurt you?"

Tauriel laughed. "I'm hardly a delicate flower to be bruised by a little rough treatment. And he's correct, My Lord. I shouldn't have behaved as I did. And I am grateful for your mercy."

"But you do have leave to come and go through my dwellings as you please. Do you not recall?" Thranduil asked as he continued to rub his thumb against her elbow making her shiver. 

"No," Tauriel answered as she gave Thranduil a wary look. "I don't recall that at all. Were you drunk out of your mind?"

Thranduil frowned. "I am seldom drunk at all. And it was the morning Inunis faded."

"Oh," Tauriel said as her cheeks colored at the memory of sleeping in his arms. "Yes, I recall now." She pulled her eyes from his and looked toward the floor as she found the way he was looking at her made her breathless.

"Come and see me after dinner," Thranduil told her. "We will discuss what should be done about our enemies in the forest. I will make an effort to consider your suggestions."

Tauriel had to stop herself from hugging Thranduil. Instead she gifted him with a bright smile. "I'll look forward to it." She bowed then made her way down the hall. Thranduil watched her until she turned a corner then sighed and went into his office to deal with Galion.

\---

"Wine?" Galion asked as Thranduil closed the door. 

"Trying to bribe me?" Thranduil questioned as he took the cup Galion offered.

"Or a peace offering," Galion said. "I don't know what came over me."

Thranduil took a sip of his wine then resumed his seat at his desk. "Tauriel perhaps?"

"Eru, yes!" Galion said. "She never fails to raise my ire. How dare she address you so flippantly especially after all she has done."

Thranduil nodded then said, "I have given her leave to have access to my personal chambers as she sees fit. You will not treat her ill, Galion."

Galion opened and closed his mouth a few times then narrowed his eyes at Thranduil. "Is there something between you?"

"No," Thranduil answered. "And if there was it would not be your concern."

"Is that why you treat so kindly?" Galion asked as he trembled in anger. "Because she is your whore?"

"Tauriel and I have no such relationship," Thranduil told his assistant with deadly calm then took a deep breath to control his temper. "And such an insult against her is unforgivable. I want you out of my sight before I gut you where you stand." 

Galion bowed his head and took a deep breath as he fought to compose himself. "Forgive me, My King. My words were rash. I was angered by Tauriel's disrespectful behavior."

"We will speak on this in a few days. Leave! Now!," Thranduil told Galion as he clenched his fists in fury. He watched Galion flee the room then sat back in his chair and growled angrily. Perhaps he'd been working Galion to hard and the recent loss of life had taken its toll. He decided Galion needed few weeks rest and began working toward that aim to keep himself busy until evening.

\-----

Thranduil stood as Tauriel's arrival was announced then frowned as he realized Uron was following behind her. He had been looking forward to seeing her and had made preparations for them to sit and simply enjoy each other's company and was irritated at having to share her attention.

"Good evening to you both," he said as he motioned for them to sit. 

"Thank you," Tauriel replied then pushed at Uron who sat quietly then looked from Thranduil to Tauriel and back again.

"Uron," Thranduil began as he leaned back on soft cushions. "I did not expect a visit from you."

Uron opened his mouth then looked at Tauriel who was poking him. "I was told by Tauriel that you were going to discuss scouting further through the forest and she thought I should be here to add my thoughts as well."

"I shouldn't have expected less," Thranduil said as he narrowed his eyes at Tauriel who was covering her mouth to hide a smirk.

"We were speaking of a scouting mission," Tauriel began. "Down to The Old Forest Road and back up. To start with of course."

Thranduil leaned forward and poured a glass of wine, offering one to Uron who politely refused and one to Tauriel who also declined. "And what do you think of her plan?" he asked as he speared Uron with a look that froze the captain where he sat.

"I-" Uron began then cleared his throat. "I believe it is a worthy idea."

"And you would be willing to lead this scouting party yourself?" Thranduil asked then took a sip of his wine.

"It would be my honor of course," Uron said. "I have a small group ready to depart at a moment's notice."

Thranduil idly swirled the wine in his cup as he kept Uron pinned by his gaze. "And why did you not come to me with such a plan yourself?"

"I-" Uron began then gave Tauriel a look of desperation. Tauriel took a deep breath then sat forward.

"Because you don't want to listen," she began. "I know what it's like to report to you, My Lord. You simply refuse the idea with a dismissive wave of your hand. You prefer inaction. You prefer to hide whilst our enemies grow ever stronger."

"And do you feel as Tauriel does?" Thranduil asked as he returned his attention to Uron.

"Uh," Uron began. "I think that Tauriel's plan has merit."

Thranduil raised his eyebrows at Uron then let out a huff that made the captain nearly jump out of his skin. "Fine. A small scouting mission down to The Old Forest Road and back. You will not engage the enemy and you will report directly to me upon your return."

"Thank you, My Lord," Uron said then shot Tauriel a quick glance, daring to smile a little at her nod of encouragement.

"Now go," Thranduil ordered as he waved Uron off. Both Uron and Tauriel stood and bowed to the king.

"Tauriel stay," Thranduil ordered then watched as the pair looked at each other. He ground his teeth together wishing he knew what information they passed to each other with such expressions.

"We will speak later," Tauriel told Uron then turned back to Thranduil with an inquisitive look.

"Sit," Thranduil ordered. 

"And if I don't?" Tauriel asked as she crossed her arms over her chest. 

Thranduil growled and put his wine on the table. "Then don't sit. Stand." Tauriel nodded then sat.

"You're trying to make me angry on purpose. Why?"

Tauriel shrugged. "To entertain you perhaps. Or myself. I find I like making you bluster at me."

"Do you?" Thranduil asked as he sat forward and searched Tauriel's face. "Why is that?"

Tauriel shrugged one shoulder. "You are always so cold. Like ice. I like disturbing your cool exterior." She swallowed hard as the expression on Thranduil's face sent a wave of heat over her. She looked down at her hands and quelled the urge to put her hand on the burning tips of her ears.

"You do entertain me," Thranduil said. He watched Tauriel's cheeks and ears turn bright red and wished he could give into the desire to sit beside her. "More so lately than in the past."

"What do you think has changed?" Tauriel asked as she kept her eyes on her fingers while she twined them in her lap. "Is it that you are no longer obligated to listen to my opinions?"

Thranduil laughed. "I was never obligated to listen to your opinions. No, it is because there is the comfort of knowing that you won't be marching off perhaps to die in one of your ill conceived missions."

"Ill conceived?" Tauriel asked in outrage as she snapped her head up to look at Thranduil. "Name one time I had an ill conceived idea."

Thranduil shook his head. "To do so would only make you sad."

She swallowed hard. "Yes," she whispered. "Though I don't think following my heart was bad judgment. I am never going to agree with you on that." She wiped away the single tear she couldn't keep back as her eyes filled. She turned her face from Thranduil in an effort to hide her sorrow.

"Tauriel," Thranduil began then gave into the urge to move beside her. "I have always enjoyed your opinions. Your vitality, passion, courage, and wit. I would not have you change." He reached out and turned her to look at him. 

He wiped away another tear as it rolled down her cheek. "Let us not revisit the past."

"Fine," Tauriel said as she put space between them then looked around the room. "You must be lonely without Legolas here."

"Yes. I am very sad that he left, but like all children he needs to make his own path in life. Seeing more of the world will be good for him. He will return when he's ready."

Tauriel nodded as she avoided Thranduil's intense gaze. "I almost envy him the opportunity."

"Almost?" Thranduil asked.

"I don't think I would want to leave the forest. I love it so."

Thranduil watched her a moment. He wanted to question her about Kili and if she realized she would have had to choose between him and the forest she claimed to love. He wanted to ask if perhaps she could also someday love him also but he knew better than to ask either question.

"I also love this forest," Thranduil said then swallowed the lump forming in his throat. He told himself that now was the best time to convince her to leave. He could tell her that she would also love the world outside of the comfort of his kingdom. He should tell her to go to Imladris, to Legolas.

Tauriel returned her gaze to Thranduil's face. "Then we are not so different, you and I."

"Then you also miss Legolas?" he asked as he moved away from her. The temptation to keep touching her was too great. It was a sweet sort of torture to be alone in her presence, but there was a point where it became too painful.

"There wasn't a day that went by when I didn't spent time with Legolas. I miss him very much." Tauriel swallowed hard. "I don't understand why he left without even telling me good-bye. I can't say I blame him after all that I did. I just wish he had told me he was angry and given me a chance to explain."

"That you preferred a dwarf over him?" Thranduil asked then stood and began to pace. Having set his course of action he found staying still impossible.

"It wasn't like that," Tauriel denied. "I would of course still be Legolas' friend. I don't understand..."

Thranduil closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "You don't understand why it would be hard for Legolas to see you go off with someone else? A dwarf no less? Someone who would take you away from the forest and away from him."

"I don't see how." Tauriel knew she was being willfully ignorant about Legolas' feelings for her but if she couldn't face them herself, how could she face them with her king? "I would have been close enough to visit, besides you would never have allowed us anything else. I am after all nothing but a lowly Sylvan elf."

Thranduil closed his eyes for a moment before turning back to Tauriel. "I have never called you such."

"But you said nothing when I labled myself thusly, so what am I to think? I _am_ a Sylvan elf. He is Sindar and a prince of this kingdom. I am an orphan of uncertain parentage raised by no one." Tauriel spread her hands wide at a loss for anything else to say. 

Thranduil growled then continued to pace. "You are not of uncertain parentage. I knew your parents. They were noble and good people who like you, were stubborn and didn't like to listen to me. They chose to live where they did against my advice and thought I was too cautious." Tauriel smiled at Thranduil as he paced.

"I didn't know that. Am I more like my mother or my father?"

Thranduil stopped pacing for a moment. "You take after your father's coloring. You have your mother's eyes. The rest of you is pure Tauriel. They were both spirited and stubborn, I like to think that's what brought them together."

"I wish I knew more about their life before," Tauriel said then sighed. "And that doesn't changed that I was raised by no one."

Thranduil snorted. "You were raised by me. You were raised by Legolas. You have always been Legolas' closest friend and you have always had my favor. There is nothing wrong with being Sylvan. Who gave you such foolish ideas?"

"Please don't try to make me believe you are ignorant of how jealous others can be. Being the companion of a prince and apparently favored by a king when others felt they were more deserving of such a position has not been easy."

"Forgive me," Thranduil said as he put his hand on his heart. "I had my own selfish reasons..."

Tauriel blinked at her king in surprise. "You did? What were they?"

"Unimportant," Thranduil told her as he sat in a chair opposite her. "The point being that Legolas..." He paused for so long that the wait became awkward as he looked down into the glass of wine he was holding. 

"Legolas what?" Tauriel asked. She was amazed at there this conversation was going. Was Thranduil trying to match make for his son? Had he changed his mind about her suitability? How did she feel about that?

  
"He," Thranduil started then stopped. He lifted his wine to his lips and took a long swallow. 

"My Lord?" Tauriel asked. 

"He wouldn't stay angry at you for long. In fact, I am certain he misses you as much as you miss him. If you would like I can arrange for you to go to Imladris and perhaps some of these long years of misunderstandings can be rectified."

"No," Tauriel said then took a calming breath. "I think I'm probably one of the last people he wants to see. If he cared about me at all he wouldn't have abandoned me at Kili's death when I needed a friend the most." She put her head down and took several more deep breaths to keep from sobbing. 

Thranduil sighed as he watched her struggle to keep herself together. What a mess his selfishness had wrought. He was ashamed at how much his selfishness had hurt not only Legolas but Tauriel too.

"Besides," Tauriel said as she sniffled. "Who is going to care for you with Legolas gone? You won't allow Galion to do it, so the task is left to me." The statement took Thranduil's breath away.

"You care about me?" he asked and Tauriel laughed. 

"You are my king. Of course I care about you. No matter how much I disagree with you."

"So I am as a father to you?" 

Tauriel considered the statement then laughed. "A father? To me?" She giggled and shook her head. "I've never seen you in such a light. How absurd. You are my king." Thranduil couldn't keep the smile of pure joy from his face. It was a relief to know she didn't view him as close family. 

"As for Legolas," Tauriel continued. "If he misses me then he will let me know. You get letters from Lord Elrond, it would not be so difficult for him to send me a message of his own. Has he written you?"

"He has not," Thranduil answered.

"Then I doubt missing either of us plagues him," Tauriel said as she stood. "I should be going, it's getting late."

"Tauriel, wait," Thranduil said as followed her to the door. She turned and gave him an inquisitive look.

"Come see me again," he said tenderly. "Tomorrow or if not then the next day. I miss having company."

Tauriel gave him a thoughtful look. "Is that a command from my king?"

"No." Thranduil answered. "It is a request from a friend."

"Then tomorrow." Tauriel told him then bowed. "Good night, My Lord."

"Good night," Thranduil replied as he stood at the door and watched until she disappeared around the corner. 

\---

Thranduil was surprised the following morning to find Galion awaiting him in the morning room as always with a cup of tea in his hand and a sheepish smile on his face.

"I thought you were told to rest," Thranduil told him coolly.

Galion bowed as he handed Thranduil the cup he was holding. "I could not rest knowing you were so angry with me. I came to make peace with you."

"And you think I am ready to see your face?" Thranduil asked. "Insulting Tauriel as you did was unforgivable." Galion jolted slightly as those words.

"Why?" he asked. "Is she a princess of your realm? Is she anything but a sylvan elf and one of your many subjects?"

"Because your words were offensive to me and to anyone you placed such a label upon, be it Tauriel or any other lady of my court."

Galion bowed low. "I understand. Please forgive me my ignorance and my unfortunate words."

"Besides, what does it matter if I should take a lover?" Thranduil asked. "Is it so wrong for me to seek companionship? Do I have to always be alone?"

Galion regarded Thranduil with wide eyes. "I was not aware that you felt the need for companionship or felt alone. You always reject my efforts."

"Because what I do with my personal life is not your concern," Thranduil repeated the oft said phrase. 

Galion swallowed hard. "But I would like it to be. If you would only let me in."

"You are my assistant," Thranduil said. "I see your face all day every day..."

"And Tauriel is nobody and nothing and yet she has leave to come and go as she pleases..."

Thranduil growled. "She is not nobody or nothing."

"So you love her," Galion accused. Thranduil regarded him in shock and wondered if his feelings for Tauriel were so obvious. He thought he was doing a very good job of hiding them.

"If you have it in your heart to love again," Galion said as he stepped closer to Thranduil. "Why could it not be someone more suitable. If you seek company, I am the one who has served you and these last few hundred years."

"Forgive me," Thranduil said as Galion stepped closer. "I had no idea you felt this way."

"Of course not. How could you?" Galion kept his head down, not daring to look at his king.

"Perhaps," Thranduil said as he searched Galion's face to make sure he was sincere. "But that changes nothing."

"And what would Legolas say if he knew? You betray him with your feelings for the elleth he's loved for so long."

Thranduil growled. "I have not pursued her. I have not told her of my feelings. I will not."

Galion crossed his arms over his chest and finally looked at his king " Then would you consider turning your attention to someone who could appropriately return your affections?"

Thranduil put a large distance between himself and Galion. "I am offended that you believe my heart so fickle."

"Of course I don't," Galion denied.

Thranduil held up his hand to silence Galion. "I do not wish to have you manage every detail of my private life, Galion. You are my assistant. Nothing more. Nothing less."

"Perhaps you are right and I need a few days rest." Galion said as he seemed to crumple in on himself.

"A few weeks," Thranduil amended. 

Galion nodded "You are too kind, My Lord. Now if you please I would like to go."

"I am sorry, Galion," Thranduil said as he watched Galion continue to close in on himself. "I hope you can also forgive me."

Galion laughed shortly. "I love you, My King. I could forgive you anything."

  
Thranduil's heart which had been sitting in the pit of his stomach sank down to his feet as the burden of Galion's feelings for him settled on his shoulders. Would Tauriel feel the same way if he confessed his feelings to her? His pity for Galion multiplied. "Thank you, Galion. You are free to go." 

Thranduil paced around the sitting room for a few moments after Galion had left, feeling unsettled and unhappy. Looking back Galion's feelings for him were obvious. He felt his cheeks heat as he remembered Legolas called Galion his wife. He must have thought there was something going on between them.

He decided he needed someone to advise him on the situation and that now was the time to write Elrond, he only hated how pleased the lord of Imladris would be at the chance to vaunt his oh so superior wisdom. Then he remembered that Tauriel promised to spend the evening with him. Perhaps he could talk to her about it. He would have to make sure she didn't forget and decided sending her a reminder would be wise.

\----

"Tauriel," Mae said as she walked into her parent's work room holding a small wooden box. "This was just delivered by one of the the king's messengers." 

"For me?" Tauriel asked as she took the box and without much thought untied the silver ribbon and opened the box. She smiled as she read the note then took out a swirling silver pendant on a slim silver chain and held it up to the light.

Mae gasped as she put her hand to her chest. "The king is sending you gifts?" She turned and looked at Uron who had dropped by to have lunch with her and Tauriel.

"It's just a note to remind me that I promised to visit him this evening and a token of appreciation for our friendship."

Uron sat forward in his seat and touched Tauriel's arm. "I was with you last evening. I saw how he had prepared for your visit. Soft lighting, wine. How he was informally dressed. No crown. No jewelry. Now he sends you a gift. He's courting you, Tauriel."

"No," Tauriel denied as she tucked the necklace back into it's box and put it aside. "Impossible. He simply appreciates my friendship."

Mae bit her lip as she sat on the chair next to Tauriel. "I think Uron is correct. He allows behavior from you that he would put others in the dungeon for. He accepted you back into his kingdom after banishing you and after you threatened his life. He would forgive you everything because..." She trailed off and looked at Uron.

"Because he has feelings for you," Uron finished.

Tauriel rolled her eyes then shook her head. "Not possible. He cares for me as a friend. More importantly as the friend I have been to Legolas. I am certain he was trying to match make me with Legolas last night." Uron and Mae looked at each other again but said nothing as Tauriel stood.

"I am truly beneath his notice. What a ridiculous imagination you both have."

"But you are not beneath his notice at all," Mae began, "He has always favored you."

"Because I am Legolas' best friend. Because Legolas has favored me."

Uron laughed. "I am also a very close friend to Legolas, but I have spoken to the King only in the guise of captain of the guard. He has never sought my company as he has yours."

"That's because you're afraid of him," Tauriel said as she paced. "He knows I'm not and it makes him happy. He has few people who truly care about him and he knows I do. We are friends, perhaps not close friends but how many people does he allow close? Not even Legolas hears his worries."

"And he has invited you to hear him," Uron stated. "That is no small thing, Tauri."

"I agree with Uron, and should you continue to develop this friendship with our king, it's best to know what you're getting into."

"You suffer enough from the bitterly jealous elleths from the court and the soldiers on the training ground. Mae and I would not see you suffer further."  
Tauriel sighed heavily. "All right. Let us pretend you are correct and the king is trying to court me. What do you suppose I should do?"

"Well," Mae said as she grabbed the box Thranduil sent and examined the note and the pendant inside. "It would depend on how you felt about being courted by him."

Tauriel spread her hands apart and said. "My heart is buried in Erebor with Kili. I cannot imagine loving anyone else. I can't imagine returning anyone else's affections."

"Then you must make sure not to encourage him," Uron said. "Do not wear the pendant. Return it to him. Thank him and tell him you cannot accept his gift. It sends a clear message of your feelings on the matter."

"And if his motives were straight forward and he sent it as a token of friendship as he writes, then I am throwing his friendship back in his face. How cruel."

"What would be cruel is to lead him on when there is no hope of winning your heart," Mae told her. 

Tauriel opened and closed her mouth a few times then let out a huff. "Do you know how ridiculous you sound? Thranduil has a wife. She is in the halls of Mandos. For all we know she is already awaiting him in the undying lands. It is unthinkable for him to take another to wed."

Mae took a deep breath. "Then maybe his intentions are not so honorable and he wants you for other reasons."

"Other reasons?" Tauriel asked as her eyebrows furrowed. "What other reasons could he possibly have?" Both Uron and Mae shifted uncomfortably. 

"He may simply wish to bed you," Mae answered then blushed to the tips of her ears while Tauriel laughed.

"He would never do such a thing. He is far too honorable." 

"Nevertheless," Uron said. "Both Mae and I think you should be cautious."

Tauriel smiled at Mae and Uron. "You are both the best and most wonderful friends to me. Thank you for caring so much about my well being. I promise to be careful and I will risk offending our king by asking his intentions, but if he has me beheaded for my impertinence then it's on your shoulders."  
\----

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive!!
> 
> Thank you all for your kindness and good wishes. I hope this chapter meets your approval. I had a difficult time getting it to behave.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear! Forgive me. Please. I wrote 6k words for this chapter and decided I didn't like where it was going so I deleted them all and wrote again. 4k words in and frustration hit. Delete! Delete! DELETE! UGH!!!
> 
> I don't want to disappoint anyone with this chapter but all this is necessary to get where we are going. Furthermore, I am utterly and completely exhausted. In the last month I have had a liver biopsy (PAINFUL), major surgery (not half as painful as a liver biopsy even though the recovery is longer), an infected incision, and worse I am so anemic that writing anything at all takes a lot out of me. Funny isn't it that I've written and yet have unwritten so much. 
> 
> Unfortunately, when the muse compels a writer to write, a writer must listen, for muses are fickle and one never knows when they will cease to grace us with inspiration. On top of that, as I have said before Thranduil is a tough nut to crack and to add insult to injury I am not sure I am pleased with how Tauriel is being portrayed. I have told myself and am now telling you that right now in the story she is still very off balance and once she finds her footing she will be more the strong and powerful being we know. 
> 
> So, with all of that out of the way, I am very worried about the quality of this chapter. Perhaps it is not up to snuff. I am completely unable to discern its quality, so any ideas or encouragement would be welcome. 
> 
> Oh, and I almost forgot. Points to the person who can tell me where the first paragraph of this chapter comes from. It amused me greatly to insert the words which are not mine.
> 
> The song for this chapter is Yo-Yo Ma - Gabriel's Obo - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0a4GpNHzMc
> 
> ___

Thranduil stood in his dressing room going through his many, many robes. He was unsure what to wear to meet with Tauriel this evening. Should he wear a simple silver caftan? The gold flowing robes? A crown? No crown? Perhaps a sash?

He decided that nothing would impress Tauriel so he decided against any adornments as well as the flashier bits of his wardrobe. He thought about wearing the lavender and silver robes he wore when Inunis faded but decided against reminding Tauriel of such a sad time. 

"It's all too much," he said to himself then turned to the full length mirror and took in the dark grey trousers and long sleeved white shirt he was wearing. He decided he looked average. No flashy intimidation and no fabric to get in the way or add grandeur to his presence. 

Earlier he had personally brushed clean the fireplace and set a fire so that it would be burning low during Tauriel's visit but still giving off heat. He closed off the outdoors with thick brocade curtains and fastened them so air still circulated through the room, but the cold breeze stayed out. 

No one dared say a word when he appeared in the kitchen and hand selected cheese, dried fruits and nuts which he arraigned on the plate himself. If it was too much it went over Thranduil's head at his happiness at Tauriel spending the evening with him.

He was just pouring wine into glasses to breath when Tauriel's arrival was announced so he put the carafe down and turned toward the door wearing a pleased smile.  
"My Lord," Tauriel said as she entered the room. She paused as she took in the soft lighting, the food, how Thranduil was dressed then swallowed hard. "How does this evening find you?"

"In a pleasant mood looking forward to your company," Thranduil answered as he gestured for her to sit. His smile dropped into a frown as Tauriel placed the box with the pendant on the table in front of him. He gave her a questioning look.

"You did not like it?" 

Tauriel shook her head. "Quite the opposite. It is lovely, but I am afraid it has given my friends the wrong idea and I cannot accept it. Though I am flattered at the guesture." She met his gaze and was dismayed at the hurt in his eyes.

"I would keep it if I could, My lord, but you know I cannot."

Thranduil opened the box and looked at the simple pendant. It was something he made himself long ago, it reminded him of the curling ends of Tauriel's hair and he had worn it himself for sometime before relegating it to a distant bottom drawer. He had given it to her because he liked the thought that something which had been warmed by his skin would now be warmed by hers. 

"I see," Thranduil said as he sat. "Would you like something to eat? A drink? You are going to stay or are you only here to tell me that my friendship is also something that you cannot accept?"

Tauriel shook her head. "Your friendship is something I treasure greatly, My Lord. I am not rejecting anything but a gift I do not deserve."

"And if I deem you worthy of such a gift what does it matter?" Thranduil asked as he filled his wine glass.

"It matters what people think. If you were not King," Tauriel began then paused at the thought of how different things would be if he was just, Thranduil. "If things were not as they are I would of course be able to accept it."

Thranduil gave her a long look. "Then it is not a gift from your king. It is a gift from me, Thranduil Opherion."

Tauriel smiled and shook her head. "Thranduil Opherion is king. What difference does it make?" Thranduil let out a deep sigh.

"There is no point arguing with you about this is there?"

"There is not." Tauriel confirmed.

Thranduil gave her a thoughtful look. "You are as confounding as always."

"As are you," Tauriel said. They both smiled at each other for a moment and Tauriel finally sat.

Thranduil handed her a cup of wine then sat back in his seat and gave her an appraising look. "How was your day?"

Tauriel snorted. "Exceptionally tedious," she answered. "What do you know of embroidery?"

"Very little save that it adorns my clothing," Thranduil replied.

"I am very good at it, as long as I'm not distracted." Tauriel told him. "I always thought that if I were good at something I would also love doing it, but I hate embroidery." Thranduil put his hand to his absent collar, he rather liked the thought of wearing Tauriel's embroidery. 

"Then perhaps you should find an occupation you hate less."

Tauriel put her cup of wine back on the table untasted. "Unfortunately, only the guard and the tailor are accepting of me at the moment. There are those who think I am a traitor and do not wish to speak to me."

Thranduil's eyebrows furrowed as he sat forward. "Then I should make an announcement that you have my forgiveness and you are to be treated kindly."

"No," Tauriel put up her hand as she shook her head. "You cannot force others to accept me. I made my choices, My Lord. I must also accept the consequences. Besides there are not a great many."

"Fine," Thranduil said as he relaxed in his seat. "But you will let me know if people treat you ill." Tauriel only hummed in reply and Thranduil gave her a warning look.

"And what of your day, My Lord?"

Thranduil sighed heavily. "To Legolas I am Ada. To everyone else I am My Lord, My king or some such variation. I would have someone call me by my name."

Tauriel bit her lip as she thought about the request. Calling him by his name was terribly personal, but as she had already rejected one gift she could not do so with this. "All right. How was your day, Thranduil?"

The smile he gave her was so full of joy that it reminded her for a brief moment of Legolas. She had always assumed he'd inherited such an expression from his mother, but she could now see she was wrong. Was she also wrong for wanting to see him smile more? It changed his countenance to something so profoundly beautiful it scared and excited her all at once.

"My day was full of unforeseen complications. Galion has taken a leave of absence and is in much need of rest."

"I thought something was off after his behavior yesterday," Tauriel said. "Is he alright?" 

"He is stressed and over worked," Thranduil replied. "He has been needing a break and it could be put off no longer."

"What are you going to do without him?" Tauriel asked. 

Thranduil looked down into his wine glass and considered telling Tauriel about Galion's confession. He had vacillated between telling her and not telling her, and now that he was in the moment he decided to keep it to himself.

"I am not helpless, Tauriel," he said in a teasing tone. "I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

"Drinking too much wine and not sleeping," Tauriel accused. "Legolas was always so worried about you and knowing Galion was there to look out for you has always been a great comfort."

Thranduil hummed then lifted his cup to his mouth and emptied it. He would have refilled it but he didn't wish to prove Tauriel's point. Also, he didn't wish to bring up his son. Tonight he wanted Tauriel to himself. 

"And have you been eating and sleeping?" Thranduil asked as he redirected the question. Tauriel narrowed her eyes at him and he smiled slightly. 

"I do both quite well, despite everything," Tauriel answered then sighed as she looked down at her empty hands. "My life has become as a stagnate pool. I am expecting to see the growth of green moss on my hair any day now."

Thranduil took a deep breath and held it for several long moments before finally letting it go then moving to sit beside her. He leaned toward her and she gave him a confused look.

"You do not smell of moss," Thranduil finally said then reached for a lock of her hair. Oh, how he loved her hair, so vibrant and beautiful. He adored how the ends curled and how the beautiful auburn sheen faded into lighter ends, almost as blonde as his own. He lifted the curl to his face and inhaled. It smelled of flowers. 

Tauriel chuckled nervously. "It was hyperbole, My... Thranduil. I'm not used to so much inaction. I have too much time to think."

Thranduil opened his eyes and frowned as he met the sadness in her own. "And what do you think of? Your dwarf?"

Tauriel swallowed hard and nodded. "Yes. My thoughts are never far from Kili. I sometimes dream about what kind of life we would have had together. What kind of hardships we would face. How much we would laugh and how much we would love."

Thranduil tilted his head to the side as he watched her then reached over and took her hand. He turned it so he could look down into her palm. Tauriel said nothing she watched him study it as though it would tell him the secrets of her past and the mystery of her future.

He traced a finger tip along the calluses on her fingers from pulling a bow and wielding knives and occasionally swords. Then turned her hand again as he traced each fingernail and noted a fading scar over her thumb and he wondered if she'd earned it while fighting for her dwarf. Thranduil gave himself over to the inspection, knowing that doing so was an action only lovers would partake in. At the moment he couldn't bring himself to care.

"I used to think of my wife in all my free moments ," Thranduil said as he smoothed a finger over the scar wishing he could make it fade along with her feelings for Kili.

"You don't think of her still?" Tauriel asked. She swallowed the lump forming in her throat and eyed the wine she'd put back on the table. She didn't want to end Thranduil's inspection of her hand. It was such a strange and unexpected action and his interest in it was so intense that she wanted to ask him what he was seeing.

"I always shall," Thranduil answered as he released her hand and sought the other. He smiled as Tauriel presented it to him palm up. He wished dearly that he could bring her hand to his lips and kiss each finger. Would she object? He inspected the ridges of her fingerprints in an effort to memorize each arching pattern.

"Does the pain stop?" Tauriel finally asked after a long laps of silence and he jolted slightly at the sound of her voice and looked up at her. 

"Never," he answered. "But I have grown accustomed to my life as it is. The pain diminishes. I found other things with which to occupy my thoughts."

Tauriel's fingers itched to move the curtain of hair which had fallen over his face as he bowed down over her hand. He sat so long in the same position, his fingertips tracing along her palm that she finally gave in and moved his hair behind his shoulder. 

Thranduil looked up at her and for a brief moment she thought he was going to lean toward her and... and what she wasn't sure, only that the look in his eyes took her breath away. She was curious at his tender behavior. More over she found his affectionate attention pleasing.

"Will you tell me about her?" she asked. Thranduil's expression changed back to his normal impassive expression and he turned his attention back to her palm.

"She was older and wiser than I," Thranduil stated and Tauriel held her breath as he paused. She knew Legolas new little of her mostly what he had learned had been from others and not his father. Now here he was about to tell her things they had only speculated on.

"She had been living in Lothlorien and had heard much of Doriath and decided to see it for herself. She was just visiting but when we met she decided to stay. From the moment we set eyes on each other we were seldom apart."

"How long were you together?" Tauriel asked. She could feel and see that he was trembling so she turned her hand in his and entwined her fingers with his. 

Thranduil didn't dare look up so he kept his eyes on her hand holding his and wanting her to never let go. "Not nearly long enough," he answered then looked up at Tauriel as she pulled his hand toward her then turned it in her grasp. She then cradled his hand in both of hers then turned his palm to return the inspection.

"No scars," she said stated. "You never slip?"

"I have," Thranduil admitted as he tried to keep himself from sounding breathless. "But some scars fade over time."

Tauriel hummed in agreement the said, "But there are ones we cannot see which never will."

"Yes," Thranduil whispered then tilted his head and leaned so it brushed against Tauriel's. She didn't stiffen in shock or move from his touch so he allowed himself to relax and close his eyes. 

"So," Tauriel said as she continued tracing Thranduil's palm, delighting in the way he shivered. "You said she was older than you?"

Thranduil chuckled. "Do you find it strange that she would be?"

"A little," Tauriel admitted. "But I have only known you as my king. It's difficult for me to even imagine your equal let alone someone superior. I've always thought her to have been a lot like Legolas."

"She was," Thranduil answered. "They are cut from the same cloth he and his mother. He has her disposition, insightfulness, and openness. I am afraid I have never been the most friendly of beings.

When my father died, I was less ready to be king than Legolas is now. I had never imagined that I would take my father's place so I never prepared. It was Maldris who lifted me out of my doubt and despair and made me stand. I could never have done it without her."

"I think you underestimate yourself. You are remarkably strong," Tauriel said as she let go of his hand and moved so he could easily lay his forehead against her shoulder. She knew talking about his wife was painful for him, but her curiosity wouldn't allow her to stop him. She felt the least she could do was make sure he was comfortable even if showing such affection with each other was untoward. 

She had been this close to him before, slept in his arms even without consequence so she reasoned that despite the warmth filling her whole body and the butterflies fluttering in her belly that their affection was of little significance.

"No," Thranduil said his voice deep with emotion. "My only interests were battle and Maldris. I resented the crown. I wanted to flee the responsibility. She wouldn't let me. She promised she would be by my side and never leave."

Tauriel bit her lip as the realization that Thranduil's wife broken promise to him must have added to the sorrow of her death. She put her arm around his shoulder and before she knew it he was pressed closer in her arms and it struck her as strange that Thranduil, who had always been such a fortress of strength and power was trembling against her. And even as propriety warned her that she should end this intimacy now, her heart pleaded with her to show him mercy. How much comfort had he known these several thousand years without his beloved? Very little she guessed.

Thranduil closed his eyes tight as he rested his head on her shoulder. He had been aching to hold her again and here he was, but at the same time thoughts of his wife prodded at him. What would she say if she knew his faithlessness? 

"I'm sorry," he said as he moved away from Tauriel even as his heart begged him to stay where he was. "I shouldn't be pushing myself on you like this." He reached for his cup of wine, downed it, then refilled it and drank that too.

"You're not taking anything that is not freely given," Tauriel said then moved to keep Thranduil from a third cup of wine. "And I understand how lonely it is."

Thranduil gave her a thoughtful look and was about to ask her if she too was lonely then she spoke. "You should write to Legolas and ask him to return. Try to make amends with him."

Tauriel watched his expression shutter as he moved even further from her. She reasoned he was right to move away from her, but she found she liked holding her king, even if it meant nothing it was still pleasant.

Thranduil sat across from Tauriel as he chastised himself. How dare he take advantage of her! How dare he sully Maldris' memory! How dare he betray Legolas! It was good she mentioned his name otherwise Thranduil would have pushed the boundaries further and further. He wondered idly if she would have stopped him. Had she not then they would have found their bodies entwined as intimately as their fingers had been.

"If you wish for Legolas' return then you may write to him. I will not." he finally said, then winced at how contemptuous he sounded. Indeed the thought of Legolas' return was upsetting. As much as he missed his son he knew that given the chance Legolas would throw caution to the wind and pursue and likely win Tauriel's heart. The dissonance whirling between his mind and heart made him ache.

Tauriel opened and closed her mouth for a moment. Thranduil's behavior was extremely confusing. She drank her wine then sat back and waited for Thranduil to speak again. She didn't want to say anything to anger him and at the same time wanted to ask a million questions.

"Has Uron spoke of the scouting mission?" Thranduil asked then looked up to find Tauriel staring down into her cup.

"A little," Tauriel answered. "He doesn't wish to upset me so it's only been logistical details."

"It upsets you that you must stay behind?" Thranduil asked then rolled his eyes at himself. Of course she was upset about it.

Tauriel nodded her head then looked up to meet Thranduil's eyes. "There is no sense getting upset over something that cannot be. I am more jealous than anything. I'm tired of being cooped up in your halls. I long for the trees, but I will not fight my punishment."

Thranduil rocked forward as he held her gaze. "What if I allowed you to go. Not as a member of the guard, but as a consultant. As my emissary?" He smiled as Tauriel's eyes lit up with amusement.

"You need to appoint an emissary to go on a simple three day scouting mission?"

"Perhaps set up diplomatic talks with orcs and spiders?" Thranduil asked then smiled as Tauriel grinned at him.

"You'd really let me go? Just like that?"

Thranduil leaned back in his chair and sighed. The answer he most wanted to give was was no. Not because he wanted her punished, but because he was fearful for her life. He wanted to keep her close so her safety was always guaranteed. He also wanted to see her happy.

"Yes," he said. "But with conditions." 

Tauriel was trembling with excitement and joy. "What would those be?"

"First," Thranduil said. "That you don't risk your life and that you return to me safely."

"I can agree to that," Tauriel said happily. She wanted to jump up and hug him then chuckled to herself and wondered what he would think if she did.

"Secondly," Thranduil continued as he picked up the box Tauriel had put on the table and took out the necklace. "I want you to wear this. No one has to see it, but it would mean a great deal to me."

"Thranduil," Tauriel said in a warning voice then frowned as he moved kneel beside her. He unclasped the chain then fastened it around her neck, taking the time to smooth his fingers against her skin and through her hair as he did. He marveled for a moment at how much he wanted her. Was there ever anyone he needed or wanted as much as Tauriel? 

Tauriel swallowed hard as Thranduil drew away from her then lifted the pendant and looked at it. She didn't know why it hurt so much to ask but she had to. "Was this hers?"

Thranduil gave her a confused look for a moment then what she was asking hit him and he shook his head. "No, it was mine and now it's yours."

"Thank you," Tauriel said as she looked from the pendant to Thranduil. "And thank you for letting me go on the mission."

"You're welcome," Thranduil said. He was about to move back to his seat when Tauriel put her arms around him and hugged him tight. He didn't return the embrace as he shut his eyes and leaned against her as much as he dared. More than anything he wanted to kiss her, but he denied himself. He would punish himself enough as it was for all the affection they'd shared this evening.

Tauriel pulled out of the hug with a smile on her face then frowned at the look on Thranduil's. She wondered later what possessed her in that moment, all she knew was that it felt right to move the hair from between them and press her lips to his.

"Oh Eru," Thranduil thought or maybe gasped he wasn't sure as she pressed her mouth to his while he dug his fingers into his own skin to keep from pulling her close. He moved to try to maintain contact as she pulled away then found she had swiftly moved out of arms reach.

"I'm sorry," she said as she stood with her back to him. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking." Tauriel put her hand to her lips which were still buzzing with the feel of Thranduil's against them.

"We will call it too much wine," Thranduil told her. "No harm done."

Tauriel was too embarrassed to turn to look at him. "Am I not allowed to go now?"

"Go?" Thranduil asked mentally chastised himself. His whole being was too focused on the feel of her lips for him to have clarity of thought. "Of course you can still go. You are not in trouble, Tauriel. You have done nothing wrong."

"Except kissing my king on the mouth," Tauriel said then squirmed in embarrassment. This was going to haunt her for a very long time.

"Your friend," Thranduil corrected her. "And if it makes you feel better I will give you leave to kiss me as much as you like." It was his turn to squirm in embarrassment. How in the world was where his words leaving his mouth without thought?

"Thank you," Tauriel chuckled as she turned to look at him. "That does make me feel a bit better."

"Good," Thranduil said. "Then let us take this opportunity to part for the evening. I will let Uron know of my decision. You leave day after tomorrow."

"I know," Tauriel said as she tucked the necklace into her shirt to hide it. "Thank you again, Thranduil."

Thranduil who had stood and walked to the door, bowed slightly. "It is my pleasure." 

Tauriel stopped at the door as he opened it for her. "This has been a... strange but wonderful evening."

"Indeed," Thranduil agreed. "Come see me after you return. I'll look forward to your observation as much as Uron's."

Tauriel chuckled. "We'll likely have a disagreement."

Thranduil nodded his head. "I'll look forward to it." Tauriel laughed then bade him good night and left him alone with his thoughts. He did not sleep that night, nor the next for thinking about her and tormenting himself.

\---

Tauriel's opened the door to her chambers then paused when she found Uron and Mae sitting by the fire. They were facing each other in silent communion but jolted and moved apart as Tauriel entered the room.

"Did you argue?" Uron asked.

"Was he offended that you turned down his gift?" Mae asked. 

"You were gone longer than we expected." Uron stated.

"But we wanted to be here to support you in case you fought and he upset you," Mae continued.

Tauriel took a deep breath and sat down in a chair opposite her friends. "We didn't argue," she answered. "He was sad that I turned down the gift but he understood why I couldn't accept it." 

She bit her lip and resisted the urge to put her hand on the pendant hidden beneath her clothes. What would they say if they knew she yet wore it? Would they chastise her? Tease her? Be disappointed?

"It was a nice evening," Tauriel said as she accepted a cup of tea from Mae. "We didn't talk as much as we sat in silent communion. He told me a little of his wife." 

"Silent communion?" Mae and Uron asked in unison then gave each other concerned looks.

Tauriel laughed. "He seemed profoundly interested in inspecting my hands." She felt her cheeks and ears flush as she remembered that she had returned the favor and then had gone so far as to kiss him. She was sure the information would be met with shock.

"Your hands?" Mae asked in confusion then looked at Uron who directed his gaze to the fire.

"I don't know what he was looking for, but it was pleasant enough to sit together like that," Tauriel said. "Then he spoke of his wife and I spoke of Legolas and that was it."

Uron took a deep breath as he looked away from the fire and directly at Tauriel. "Legolas was always careful about sheltering you. Maybe he did too much."

Tauriel shook her head. "I agree. I always chaffed against his efforts to protect me. What does that have to do with anything?"

"We still think he's courting you," Mae said. "He held your hand? That's what lovers do Tauriel! That's what Uron and I do." Her own cheeks flushed and she put her hands to them and looked at Uron who was blushing. She knew of such matters, but had been pretending to herself that she did not. The way he had held her hands felt too wonderful to deny.

"Has Legolas ever held your hand in such a way? Or did Kili? Have you ever exchanged such with any other?" Uron asked his expression one of profound concern.

Tauriel gave them both a guilty look. What would they say if they everything? That he had bade her to call him by his name? That he had knelt before her and fastened the necklace around her neck. Was he courting her? Or perhaps she was courting him!

"It wasn't like that," Tauriel lied. But it was and she wanted more. Was it because of their shared grief? Because she was lonely and so was he? Sometimes it seemed to her as though they were kindred spirits, though they had different ideas there had always been a strange sort of underlying connection between them. Did she really want that to deepen? 

He had accused himself of pushing himself on her, but she would have gladly taken more and more. The realization made her dizzy. All at once she wanted to go find Thranduil and tell him such, but she also wanted to run and hide and cry. He wasn't Kili. She shouldn't feel this way, especially for her king.

"Tauriel," Mae said. Tauriel looked up at her friend. "Is this something you want? To be pursued by our king? What would you become to him and everyone else? It cannot be a good thing."

The feelings blossoming in her heart for Thranduil made her want to shrink back in shame at Mae's words. She closed her eyes and shook her head.

"He is not courting me," Tauriel denied but she knew in her heart he was and she hadn't wanted him to stop until faced with Uron and Mae's disapproval. "Besides he gave me leave to go on the scouting mission."

"Really?" Uron asked as he perked up. His expression was one of joy and relief. "Did he say so out right or give you a maybe promise?"

Tauriel laughed at Uron's relief. She knew that he was more than capable of being the Captain of the Guard but he was yet untested and he didn't believe he could be as an effective leader as Tauriel had been.

"He said you would have word tomorrow and if you don't let me know and I'll hound him about it." 

Mae huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest. "As pleased as I am that you'll return to an occupation that makes you happy, I cannot help but wonder what motivated him to change his mind."

"We are friends," Tauriel said firmly. "He knows I am unhappy and I think he's trying to give me the comfort of my old life. If I am allowed to return to the guard even as the lowliest soldier he knows my time will be limited to training. If he were truly courting me as you say why would he do something that would keep me from him?"

"Allowing you to go on the scouting mission is not allowing you to return to the guard." Uron pointed out. 

"He will," Tauriel said. "Because he knows that's what's best. Now let's put aside this talk of courting and inappropriate relations and discuss the scouting mission!"  
\---

Thranduil made his way down to the gate where Uron and ten other soldiers waited, along with Tauriel who was tucked in the back away from his gaze. He huffed to himself and decided that his worse fears were true and she regretted the evening they spent together. It didn't matter if she hid away from him. He always knew where she was even if he couldn't see her.

"Go swiftly and quietly," Thranduil said to the group then turned to Uron.

"My Lord." Uron bowed deeply. 

"May Eru be with you," Thranduil said and Uron nodded. When he moved to turn away Thranduil grabbed his shoulder and whispered. "Guard her with your life. Bring her home safe."

Uron gave him a long look then bowed. "As you command," he replied then motioned to the soldiers to follow. 

Thranduil smiled as he finally set eyes on Tauriel. He caught her gaze and lifted his hand to her and was gladdened to see her smile in return. He stood for a long time watching as the group departed then turned as he felt someone approach.

"I heard that you allowed Tauriel to go on the scouting mission and I see it is so," Galion said from behind Thranduil. "Does it not bother you to send her out to possibly die?"

"What concern is it of yours?," Thranduil asked. "We are friends, she and I. Nothing more." Or were they? He wasn't certain now.

"It is a great burden to be the friend of a king," Galion began as he stood beside Thranduil and watch the. "Are you certain that is a weight you wish to put on her shoulders?"

Thranduil snorted. "You would have her wed to Legolas. Is being the wife of a prince a weight you wish to see on her shoulders?"

"I wish for nothing but to see you happy, My King," Galion said. "And I would like to request a return to my work."

Thranduil motioned for Galion to follow as he made his way back toward his chambers. "I will allow you to return to your job as my secretary, but as for managing anything else. I am content to take care of myself. I need no one to do it for me."

"But," Galion began then paused. "Do you not remember how it used to be? Who is going to make sure you don't drink yourself to death? Who will make sure you eat and sleep?"

"No one," Thranduil answered. "And I prefer it that way."

"But," Galion tried again and Thranduil put his hand up to silence him.

"That will be enough," he said. "I have important matters to attend to and will not speak with you on this again."

"Have you written to Elrond?" Galion asked as he followed his king. He stopped in his tracks as Thranduil turned on him.

"Galion. You are overstepping your bounds."

"I am acting politically," Galion defended. "He is your ally, what if you need to call on him someday?"

"I won't." Thranduil said then turned and walked away. Galion watched him for a moment then followed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I use few Elvish words because I just don't feel terribly comfortably doing so. In this chapter I chose to. A'maelamin, I have been lead to believe, means my beloved.
> 
> Things speed up here for a bit. Ready? 
> 
> Song for this chapter - Loreena McKennitt - Dante's Prayer -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dge_MOBGxjo 
> 
> \--

The moment Tauriel stepped into the forest she felt the heavy weight of sorrow, doubt, and fear lift from her shoulders slightly. She looked up at the sky through the winter bare trees and found it a cold, cloudless blue that reminded her so powerfully of her king that her heart fluttered. She resisted the urge to touch her lips and remember what it felt like to kiss him.

"Tauriel," Nestion the dark haired Silvan soldier Uron paired her with called to and she smiled at him as she caught up.

"Forgive me for dallying," she told Nestion. "It feels like ages have passed since I've been beneath the sky.  
Nestion chuckled as he shook his head. "As if you couldn't have wandered the forest any time you wished. You know good and well you could have come to me during my watch and I would have seen you out."

Tauriel gave him a wry smile. "I thought it best not to push the boundaries of my punishment. I am grateful that I wasn't exiled."

"The King would never have let your exile stand," Nestion asserted. "Your crimes were not so serious."

"Aiming an arrow at our king's head is not a serious crime?" Tauriel asked in astonishment. "Since when?"

"You would never have been able to loose that arrow. None of us could. Besides your loyalty to Legolas would have stayed your hand. It was just an act of desperation. Those of us who have seen how the two of you argue knew it was just another of your battles of will."

Tauriel was silent as Uron set the group into a run. It felt so good to run and leap. To dodge through the trees and feel the wind on her face. She wished they could keep running and running until she had outrun her sadness, troubles and doubts.

They stopped shortly before sunset and Uron motioned for them to still. Tauriel could see from her vantage point up in the trees that there was a spider's nest below. She itched to attack and burn the wretched beings to oblivion, but she was not the leader of this mission.  
Uron had them scout the area in every widening circles, finding three more nests before they drew away then fled to find a safe place to take a meal and make camp for the darkest hours of the night.

"You have no issue that I abandoned my station to help the dwarfs?" Tauriel asked of Nestion as they drank water and a ration of dried fruits and nuts.  
Nestion was quiet for a long time before he turned to Tauriel. "You did what you thought was right. To save a life. It was not a betrayal or desertion in my opinion, just a mission you as captain set yourself on. You have never needed the king's permission to take action."

Tauriel looked up at the night sky, which was still cold and clear and filling with stars and sighed. "Not everyone feels as you do. There are those who call me traitor."

"Radon," Nestion said as he inclined his head to the elf in question, who luckily had his back to them. "He and I have nearly come to blows on the subject. It is only the king's obvious pardon of you that he does not continue to speak against you."

Tauriel swallowed hard but kept her eyes on the sky. She and Radon had always been friends. She had a great deal of respect for him. She always trusted to follow her orders to the letter and knowing she had lost his respect hurt more than she expected.

"Anyone else?" she asked.

"None that Uron would allow on this mission," Nestion answered. "Radon is here because he separated himself from the others and I personally vouched for him." He paused as he took in the look on Tauriel's face.

"Do not trouble yourself, Tauri," he told her gently. "Since when have you cared when others have disliked you? Those against you are those who have always been so. It is nothing new."

  
Tauriel sighed. "But Radon was a good friend."

"And he may well be again," Nestion said. "He is very young yet. He needs time to forgive you."

"Who needs to forgive who?" Uron asked as he appeared beside them. He squatted down beside Tauriel and gave Nestion a sharp look.

Nestion shook his head. "There is no trouble here, Uron. Tauriel and I were just discussing matters of home."

Uron made a humming noise. "I'm putting the two of you on third watch. Aeglossel and Mudion take fourth and last watch."

"I don't know if I can manage to sleep," Tauriel said. She rarely did when out on missions and Uron knew it.

"Then sit and rest," Uron told her. "I won't have you wearing yourself ragged as you always have. It is now my turn to be restless and worrisome."

"I was never restless and worrisome," Tauriel defended. "Overseeing the safety of my soldiers was my responsibility. Now that is yours you will see why I took such little sleep."  
Uron sighed.

"Can you not sense it on the wind?" he asked. "There is trouble to the south."

"Southwest," Tauriel and Nestion said in unison then smiled at each other.

"Orcs?" Uron whispered as he leaned close to Tauriel as if simply speaking about them would make them appear.

Tauriel nodded her head. "The smell and sound is faint. They may be a very small company or they are very far off. We may not encounter them at all."

Uron gave Tauriel a very serious look. "Our king bade us not to engage the enemy, thus I would prefer to avoid them. We will move to the southeast before sunrise."

"You are our Captain," Tauriel said as she bowed her head. "I will look forward to carrying out your orders."

Uron smiled and put his hand on her shoulder. "Thank you," he said then stood and left her and Nestion to talk.

Nestion didn't have much else to say. They spoke of the Battle of the Five Armies and the part they both played and then sat restfully until it came time for their watch.

Tauriel closed her eyes to rest, intent on dreaming of Kili, but Thranduil's face came to her first along with the feel of his hands on hers. She took a deep breath as she tried to deal with these new emotions.

Kili had told her that she made him feel alive and now Tauriel more than understood that sensation. And while Kili had made her feel things she'd never felt before, Thranduil was the one who made her feel alive.

She snapped her eyes open and growled softly as she focused her vision on the sky above. Starlight could be see through the bare branches and she smiled. She wished she could climb up to the tree tops to see all of the sky.

It was the wrong time of year to see the stars she had personally chosen to represent her parents, as they were stars of the summer sky. And though she wanted to pick out a star for Kili she would wait for the next Autumn festival so she could name one that was high in the sky at the same time of the year when they met.

"What about Thranduil?" a small voice in the back of her mind asked. "Should you also not pick out a star to represent him?" She chewed on her lip as she contemplated the thought. Thranduil was her king of course it wouldn't be strange to find a personal star for him, and what better time than in the cold winter? But was he really cold? She was beginning to think so less and less. Moreover, she wanted to find out what lay beneath that icy exterior.

She waited until her watch before telling Nestion she was going to climb up to see if she could get a better sense of their surroundings. Once she was cradled up in the trees and had a better view of the sky she thanked the Valdar for the clear night then her eyes lit on it.

The brightest star of the sky; Spring, Summer, Winter or Fall met her gaze and she couldn't help but smile as it was such a perfect fit. It twinkled at her with its pale blue light and it was decided and that was the star she would chose for her king.

\---

"We are being hunted," Tauriel whispered to Uron the next afternoon as they stopped at the edge of a clearing while he marked more spider nests on his map.  
"From what direction?" Uron asked. "And why haven't I noticed?"

"Do not be so hard on yourself," Tauriel told him. "You are occupied otherwise. That is why we all keep watch."

Uron looked up from the map he'd been marking and took in the sites, sounds and smells around him. "We are to turn home on the morrow," he told her we cannot let them follow us.

"There are two choices," Tauriel said. "We can prepare for an ambush for I am certain that is what they are planning or we could lead them on a merry chase."

"The king's orders were not to engage," Uron told her then sighed as Tauriel rolled her eyes. "I understand that you would confront them but I think leading them astray is the wise decision. We will pair up then meet where the road meets River Running."

"Which direction will you send Nestion and I? To the west away from them?" Tauriel asked.

Uron gave her a sharp look. "I know you too well Tauri. You, Nestion and I will travel together. West straight toward the river. We will cross it if weather permits and arrive home just a little behind schedule."

"As you command," Tauriel said then bowed. "I'll go get Nestion while you inform the others. I fear we don't have much time if you wish to avoid conflict."

\---

"Thranduil," her high, sweet voice sang to him as he moved through a thick fog. He kept his hand on the stone wall beside him hoping it the hallway would lead him to her. Though he walked on her voice never moved closer.

"Thranduil," she sang again. "Come to me A'maelamin."

"Maldris," he finally called. "Where are you? I cannot find you." He stopped moving and tried to listen but he heard nothing. He continued to walk through the misted halls until they finally opened up into a cave with a fire in the center.

Standing by the fire with her back to him was his wife. He let out a sigh of relief and walked toward her. He reached out his hand to touch her hair and upon finding she was real, put his arms around her and buried his face in her neck.

"Where have you been?" she asked. "I've been waiting for so long. Where is Legolas?"

Thranduil didn't have answers to her questions. "I do not know. I have been lost I believe. In a very bad dream." He tried to turn her to face him but she refused to move. "But you are here now and I am at peace."

"At peace," she repeated. "Is that what you call your betrayal, A'maelamin?"

"I know not of what you speak," Thranduil answered and trembled against her. He did know. Of course he knew."

"Our kingdom rots beneath your feet!" she accused. "And your heart along with it. Faithless!"

Thranduil took her by the shoulders and spun her to face him, but instead of the face of his wife he met a burned out screaming corpse.

"No!" Thranduil yelled as he sat up in his bed panting and grasping at blankets. He blinked a few times as he took in his surroundings then flopped back against his pillows and took several deep breaths.

This nightmare, though always with different variations, was ancient. In the beginning, after he first lost Maldris, such was his stress and fear that she was not only angry at him in death but suffering, that he submitted himself to the wisdom of Galadriel who told him that it was his own guilt and imagination he dreamed of and not Maldris herself. The Lady of Lorien had assured him that Maldris was in a place of peace and knew no pain or sorrow, and yet the dreams continued.

He had not slept since his evening with Tauriel partly because he could not rest for thinking of her and partly because he knew this dream was coming. But, Tauriel was due to return the next day and he did not wish to greet her unrested and so he had attempted to sleep.

Thranduil fled his bed and poured himself a glass of wine. He smiled bitterly. If Galion still had his way it would have been water on his table, but without him Thranduil took the opportunity to stock his room with wine so that it would always be in reach to keep the nightmares at bay.

He walked to the window and looked up at the sky. His vision was caught by the brightest star of Winter. He took a deep breath as it shone down on him.

"Protect her," he told the star knowing that he need not clarify whom it was charged to protect. She would be back by the evening and he was eager to see her face.

\---

They fled down the old forest road for two days as the orcs followed their trail before Tauriel suggested awaiting them in the trees. Uron decided the risk of being caught were minimal and agreed.

She heard them before she could smell them. She smelled them before she could see them. She knew there would be no escape and she did not wish for it.

"How many?" Uron asked as Nestion returned to the treetops from scouting the area.

"No fewer than a dozen," Nestion whispered and pointed. "Ten at the very least. Through those trees any moment now." Tauriel, who was hidden in a branch near Uron, lifted her bow, knocked an arrow and aimed it in the proper direction.

"Be still, Tauriel," Uron ordered as he held up his hand toward her. "Let us see if we can escape detection."

The very sight of them as they broke through the brush made Tauriel's blood at first run cold and the hair to lift on the back of her neck at how hideous they were. They were an affront to all that was good. Then her blood ran hot. Orcs killed her parents. Orcs killed Kili. She wanted nothing more than to send an arrow or blade through each of their black, withered hearts.

It was at that moment that one of the orcs looked up into the trees and straight into her eyes as if it sensed her hatred. She kept as still as possible and everything turned to slow motion as the orc bellowed warning to its companions.

Tauriel released two arrows in quick succession - hitting the orc in the throat both times before unleashing another volley at another. Two orcs dropped before the others realized what was going on. By that time Tauriel was already on the ground, daggers in hand as Uron called after her.

Nestion took out two more orcs and Uron skidded down the tree to end up beside Tauriel sword in hand.

"Explain," Uron commanded as he pushed back at the two orcs attacking them both while the others looked around for other targets.

"He saw me," Tauriel answered through gritted teeth as she anticipated her opponent's next move. "It was best to move while we still had the element of surprise."  
Uron said nothing as he slid his blade into the side of his opponent then turned to defend from the others, who now outnumbered were running.

"They're going to head back to their main camp for reinforcements," Tauriel yelled at Uron as she began to chase the retreating enemy. "We must stop them!" She didn't wait for orders from Uron as she readied her bow and ran.

Tauriel's focus narrowed as she chased the two remaining orcs. They met her feral grin with fear as she put an arrow through one's head then dropped her bow, brandished her dagger and turned on the remaining creature.

"Come for me," she taunted as it spun it's sword then rushed toward her. She was too angry, fierce and fast, and managed to dispatch the monster before Uron and Nestion caught up with he

"Tauriel," Uron scolded.

"They will trouble us no more," Tauriel said as she cleaned orc blood from her blades with a handful of dry leaves.

Uron gave her a sharp look and she sighed. "I know you're unhappy with me, but what choice did we have Uron? Did you want them joining with the others? I doubt our small troop could have handled an army."

Uron shook his head. "You're right, Tauriel," he said as he sheathed his own sword. "Let us not tarry longer. We are for home."

\--

Thranduil had given Uron three days to scout the forest then return and report. When they were not back in four he was angry. At five he was sure Tauriel had convinced them to take longer just to mock him. On the fifth day he was certain they were all dead and was about to gather a party to go after them when they returned.

"Speak," Thranduil ordered when Uron arrived in the throne room. "Tell me why you defied my orders?"

  
"Forgive me, My Lord." Uron said as he rose from a deep bow. "Your orders were also that we not engage with the enemy.  
Orcs. We were detected and had to move quickly. I ordered everyone away but we couldn't avoid the attack."

"Tauriel?" Thranduil asked as this throat tightened. He knew he shouldn't give away so much by asking about her but he had to. "I assume she put herself in the thick of it though I ordered her otherwise."

Uron simply dipped his head in response. "She fought well. We have only minor injuries and the enemy was thoroughly defeated."

"Thoroughly?" Thranduil questioned.

"None of their scouts escaped. They tried but Tauriel ran them down." Uron stepped forward and handed Thranduil a map.

"I marked several spider nests and the orc's probable encampment. If you wish to send us out to destroy them it would be our pleasure."

"She ran them down?" Thranduil asked as he took the map and eyed it with curiosity.

Uron nodded his head once. "And killed them."

"Alone?"

Uron was silent for a moment. "For the most part. It was difficult keeping up with her but we managed."

"Thank you, " Thranduil said. "Go have a well deserved rest." He turned away then realized Uron had not yet left.

"Is there something else?" Thranduil asked as he turned back to his captain of the guard.

"Tauriel is my dearest friend," Uron answered. "I do not like seeing her unhappy. You are my king and I have no right to question you. But I can tell that she cares for you. I beg of you not to take advantage of her. She deserves so much more."

Thranduil held Uron's gaze for a moment then bowed his head in understanding. "Thank you, Uron. It makes me glad that she is so well cared for." He swallowed the lump in his throat as he was left alone. Indeed, he agreed, Tauriel did deserve much more.

\---

"I'm so glad you're both back and in once piece," Mae said as she hugged Tauriel. "When you were gone so long I was frightened."

Tauriel smiled as she returned her friend's embrace. "We were ambushed by a company of Orcs. It took some time, but we managed to route them. You've seen Uron?"

Mae nodded her head. "I saw him briefly when he arrived, but he had to report to the king."

Tauriel made a growling sound as she dropped her pack on the floor then flopped down in the nearest chair. "I don't envy him that task." She started removing her boots. It was true, but at the same time she couldn't wait to see Thranduil. She found that she missed him and was looking forward to telling him about the mission.

"I want a long hot bath and a good sleep." She looked up at Mae who was wringing her hands.

"What's wrong?"

"Have you given any thought on what you're going to say to the king now that you're back?" Mae asked.

Tauriel shook her head. "I will see him later this evening - unless he's busy."

Mae nodded her head. "I think you should also write to Legolas."

Tauriel tossed one boot aside and began unlacing the next. "And tell him what? That I might be in inappropriately close relationship with his father?"

"Maybe not in such a blunt manner, but yes," Mae said. "And maybe you and he can work things out between you."

"No." Tauriel said as she threw off the other boot. "It cannot. We love once. I love Kili. That is the end of it."

"And yet our king who lost his queen clearly has grown to have feelings for you even if you deny it. If he can move on from a union he was involved in for over a thousand years then certainly you can move on from one that was only a few days in duration."

Tauriel looked up at Mae and opened her mouth but found she couldn't dispute her friend. She did have feelings for Thranduil, but the accusation that what she and Kili had wasn't real hurt.

Mae immediately put her hands up to calm her friend. "I am not saying you did not love him nor he you. I am not saying it was not real. Far be it from me to place such judgment on anyone. I loved Uron from the moment we first met. I do understand Tauriel."

Tauriel crossed her arms over her chest. "And do you think you could move on if you lost him?

Mae shook her head as a tear fell down her face. She put her hand to her chest and took several deep breaths. "Not now," she answered as she brushed tears from her face. "But if he had been taken away from me in the beginning, maybe."

Tauriel stood and hugged her friend. "I'm sorry, Mae," she said as her friend trembled. "I shouldn't have said such a thing."

"It's alright," she said as she wiped away more of her tears. "I need to go find Uron. Now. Please promise me you will think about writing Legolas. Ask him to come back. Even if you find you can't love him then at the least Thranduil-King will have his son back and we will have our dear friend with us again and things will be as they were before."

"Go," Tauriel said. "I'll think about it." She sighed as she leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. Everything had changed. She was changed. She could never go back to life the way it was before.

 She hadn't intended on falling asleep. Unfortunately, though she hadn't been away from scouting for long, she had grown too used to senditary life and the mission along with all the other stressors in her life had fatigued her. 

She awoke with a start. The candles had burned low and the fire was almost out. 

"No!" she hissed as she jumped up and gathered fresh clothes. She knew Thranduil was expecting her and she was going to be very late. She considered sending him a message but then changed her mind imagining the gossip sending a messenger to tell the king she would be late would start. 

The bath house was empty at this time of the evening and for that Tauriel was very grateful. She undressed and quickly washed her hair then the grime of battle from her body before sinking into a steaming hot pool of water. 

She tilted her head back and sighed as the heat eased the ache in her tired muscles. She took several long deep breath to force herself to relax as nervousness set in.  
What was she going to say to Thranduil? Was he going to tease her for kissing him? Was he going to rebuke her impulsive show of affection? She hoped he would be kind and not make the situation too painful. She chewed on her lip then sank down lower in the water.

Why had she kissed him when a hug itself was crossing the line as it was? He was her king and maybe he had touched her but who was she to take such liberties with his person?

"Foolish," Tauriel said as she looked up at the mosaic ceiling of green and blue tiles. 

The truth was she knew why she had kissed him. Because she wanted to. She had always wanted to. From the moment she had been swept up onto his elk and carried back to the palace as an elfling, after losing her parents, she had loved him. She doubted though that she wasn't his only subject to harbor a crush on him and had comforted herself with that. 

She had first realized it when he was giving Legolas sword fighting lessons. She would tag along and watch the father and son practice. Something about Thranduil had always drawn her vision. His movements were so precise without a hint of wasted energy. Watching him fight was enchanting. 

She had dismissed her feelings as nothing but admiration of his superior fighting skills and then he began to train her as well. She was good with a bow. She was good with a knife. When it came to fighting with swords she was lacking, which lead to Thranduil spending more time training her. They had met once a week for an hour for years and years and then one day he ended their sessions, she had joined the guard and she rarely saw him after that. She couldn't complain that his attention to her training had ended. She had been fortunate to have had it to begin with.

Many of her days were spent in sadness. The ellon of her heart was forever out of reach. She tried to bury her feelings deep and turned them to dislike. When she was appointed captain fighting with him was the only defense against her feelings.

The problem was that she loved making him angry. She loved that she could have make him lose his cool demeanor and she told herself that she hated him.

"It was a lie, Eru. It was all lies." Tauriel whispered then climbed from the water. 

Uron and Mae were certain he was courting her and if he was then she would find out tonight. Her mind was already made up if he was courting her. She had already had her heart broken by losing Kili. She would not lose Thranduil.

She had worried that Uron and Mae would be waiting for her but it was empty. She dressed in a forest green cotton skirt and matching tunic with a brown belt that hung low on her hips. She toweled her hair dry and braided it carefully then without so much as a pause made her way to see Thranduil.

\---

Thranduil was anxious as he awaited Tauriel's arrival. Of course he could have sent for her, but more than anything he wished her visit to be on her own accord and not dragged into his presence like some wayward subject.

He sat in the evening room wearing ivory trousers, boots and shirt. It had taken him too long to pick the ensemble out. He was did choose to wear a single necklace on which hung an opalescent pendant that ended just before the deep V of his shirt.

The fire he had made to burn with warmth as Tauriel had spent the last few nights in the cold. Beside it stood a pitcher of wine ready for mulling so he could offer her something warm to drink.

He had draped fur blankets on the furniture making the room cozy and warm and lit with candle light. He had to push back the image of wrapping Tauriel up in them and making love to her by the fire as he laid them out.

The evening grew long. He was about to give up hope and drown his sadness in several bottles of wine when the door opened slightly and she slipped into the room.

"Am I welcome?" she asked as she closed the door carefully.

Thranduil stood and turned to face her as his heart leapt into his throat. "Always," he answered as he put down the cup he was about to fill. "Please come in."

Tauriel stepped further into the room and Thranduil let out a sigh of relief to see her whole and unharmed. "Uron tells of a skirmish with orcs."

"Yes," Tauriel said. "Are you angry?"

The corners of Thranduil's mouth twitched into a slight smile as he narrowed his eyes at her. "And what good would it do me if I were?"

"Not very much," Tauriel told him. "You knew what kind of person I was when you sent me out."

Thranduil raised his eyebrows. "That does not encourage me to let you do so again." He loved the smile she gave him. He wanted nothing more than to hold her at that moment and beg her to never go out to battle again.

"Sit," he offered as he gestured to a chair. "You must be tired. Can I get you anything? Water? Wine?" He gestured to the fire. "Or something warm?"

"I am well," Tauriel answered. "Just being here right now is enough. It was a good mission but it is nice to be home again."

Thranduil hummed in agreement. "You took so long arriving I was neigh on to going after you. Would that have surprised you?"

Tauriel laughed as she watched Thranduil sit. She bit her lip as she surveyed her choice of seating. "Oddly it would not have," she said then sat next to him.

"Tauriel," Thranduil began. What should he say? That they needed to put a stop to this thing growing between them? That she belonged to Legolas? Could he even manage the words?

"Thranduil?" she asked as she took his hand and entwined their fingers together.

"You play a dangerous game," he warned as he watched her intently.

Tauriel shook her head. "I do not play games at all." She smiled at him and he lost the battle and moved closer. He had not yet conceded the war so instead of her mouth he placed a kiss on her cheek.

"I have too many feelings for you to allow you much closer," he whispered as his lips brushed her ear.

A pleasant warmth flooded through Tauriel as chills stippled her skin and she knew nothing save that she wanted more of the feeling.

Thranduil's eyes feathered shut as Tauriel put her hand on his cheek and placed a kiss on the corner of his mouth. He turned to her like a flower seeking sunlight, his heart thrumming in his ears as her arms went around him and into his hair as their lips met.

The kiss for as chaste as it was, was like riding a wild torrent, it swept them up in its current and all Thranduil could do was hold Tauriel as the storm of passion raged while their lips slid against each other. They were both trembling as they parted only a sight distance as they took in each other's breath.

Thranduil was afraid to open his eyes. Once he did the spell would be broken. He would have to do what was right and put her away from him when what he most desired was to hold her as close as he could, forever, if at all possible.

She put her hand on the side of his face and he turned his head to kiss her palm, then put space between them and opened his eyes. The sweet look of adoration on her face tore at his heart and he forced himself to turn away from her.

"That was unwise," he said finding his voice rough with emotion. He swallowed hard and stood in order to put more distance between himself and Tauriel.

"I don't see why," Tauriel told him as she watched Thranduil begin to pace around the room. "You have feelings for me as I do you."

"That is beside the point," Thranduil started.

"Besides," she began her tone teasing as her eyes sparkled. "Did you not give me leave to kiss you whenever I liked." She stood and walked to stand before him.

Thranduil couldn't help but to caress her cheek then watched as she closed her eyes in pleasure as he slid his fingers through her hair which was still slightly damp from her bath. "I did give you leave to kiss me."

Tauriel smiled as she opened her eyes and then pulled him over to sit beside her again. She tilted her head and put threaded her fingers through his hair, then traced the edges of his ears.

"Tauriel," he whispered as he traced his fingers on her jaw. There were so many things he wished he could tell her, give her, show her.

"Hush," she told him then continued her examination of his face, hair, ears, neck. Thranduil tried to reciprocate but finally gave in and watched the care and affection in her eyes as she explored.

Occasionally she would hold his gaze and he would soak in the emotions in them, even though he knew it was better to close his eyes and guard against his already strong feelings for her.

"Don't be afraid," Tauriel whispered against his lips as she leaned forward. "I am not asking from you anything you cannot give." She could see the fear in his eyes and while she was right she was also wrong as to why it was there.

Thranduil parted his lips against hers and asked, "What do you mean?"

"I am not asking to be your queen," she told him. "I am not asking for you to recognize me to the court or give me some sort of official title. I am not even asking for you to love me."

Thranduil trembled as he held her earnest gaze. "What are you asking for, Tauriel?"

"This," she said then slid her tongue along the seam of his mouth until he opened for her. He groaned as her tongue darted in to touch his and finally he was lost. He pushed her back until he was laying over her as they shared deliciously slow kisses while he caressed her face and neck with his fingertips.

He was charmed by the way she hummed as their tongues danced and he loved touching her throat as her voice vibrated in it. More than that he loved her.

Tears he was unaware he had left slipped from his closed eyes and anointed Tauriel's fingertips as she brushed them away and somehow gave more of herself to the embrace they shared.

"That wasn't quite what I meant about giving you leave to kiss me," Thranduil teased as he reluctantly ended the kiss and pressed his forehead to hers.

She smiled at him then lifted her face to nuzzle her nose against his. He knew in that moment that if he lost her, there would be no saving him this time. He swallowed hard then sat up, pulling her with him and into his lap.

Her eyes were sleepy as he looked into their green depths and he forced himself to hold back all the questions his heart begged for her to answer. What about Kili? What about Legolas? Could she love him? Would she accept his heart?

"You must be tired," he said while tracing and examining one of her ears.

"I didn't sleep during the mission and I missed you," Tauriel confessed then yawned. "I don't want to leave you yet."

Thranduil hummed then shifted on the couch and moved so he could pull one of the furs over them both before leaning back so she could rest her head on his chest as he threaded his fingers through his hair.

A moment later Tauriel chuckled and Thranduil's eyebrows furrowed. "What's are you finding funny?"

"You do have a heart," she said with her ear on his chest. She moved to look at him and found a sad look on his face.

"I am jesting," she told him seriously and he kissed the tip of her nose.

"Perhaps we are moving too quickly," he said then shivered as she opened his shirt and placed a kiss over his heart.

Tauriel looked up at him, her green eyes filled with desire and he almost gave in, he pressed her hand to his chest and shifted so he had more control over the way she moved against him.

"Thranduil," she said, her voice husky with desire. "Time has not been kind to you nor I. Our loves were taken from us."

Thranduil smiled then shifted her in his arms. "Time is also our friend. We have more than enough of it to figure this out." He paused. "Besides I have reservations."

Tauriel let herself and let out a deep breath. "I am not asking for anything you are not willing to give."

"Nor I from you," Thranduil told her as he combed her hair with his fingers. "But you have to understand. You have always belonged to Legolas."

"What?" Tauriel said as she pushed away from Thranduil and gave him a look of disbelief. "What does that mean? I do not belong to Legolas. I am not a thing to be passed around!"

"He loves you," Thranduil began slowly and watched as Tauriel's expression went stony. "I've known that for a long time. That is why he is angry with me. I stayed his hand and you fell in love with the dwarf and..."

"Kili," Tauriel said very softly. "His name was Kili." She moved away from Thranduil's embrace as she shook her head. "And I don't love Legolas. " She paused and took several deep breaths.

"I do love him," she said as she sat with her back to him. "But not in that way."

Thranduil sat up, reached his hand out to touch her, then thought better. "He asked me for permission to court you. I told him no."  
Tauriel turned and looked at him. "When?" she asked. "Why?"

He said nothing a he shook his head. If he admitted it was because he loved her then he would be admitting that he loved her now and she made it clear that his love wasn't something she wanted. His heart ached in his chest and he covered his eyes with the heels of his hands for a moment.

"Why?" Tauriel asked as she watched him war with himself.

Thranduil let out a deep breath and dropped his hands from his face. "Because of my own feelings for you."

"How long?"

"I don't know." Thranduil answered irritably. "It crept up on me slowly until one day I realized."

"Realized what?" Tauriel asked and he gave her a look of consternation.

Thranduil frowned as he held her gaze. She was not going to let the matter drop. He knew her too well. "I didn't want you to marry him."

"So Legolas asked for permission to court me and you said no," Tauriel said. "And then I met Kili..."

"I told him to wait. To be sure of his feelings in an effort to give myself time to deal with my own. Then you met Kili and he was angry at me."

"And that's why he left," Tauriel said as the realization hit her. "Instead of speaking to me about all of this." She clenched her fists

"And if he had?" Thranduil asked.

"If he had the answer would have been the same whether I met Kili or not. I love him but as my brother. I could never return such feelings and our friendship would have been ruined. I know you feel bad, but if anything you gave Legolas and I more time to be friends."

Thranduil shook his head. "You say that now because you did meet Kili, but..."

"No," Tauriel said then reached out and took Thranduil's hand. He watched as her cheeks flushed while she kept her eyes on their entwined fingers. "Because I had already met someone who stirred my heart but being with him was impossible. I hid it from myself. I buried that longing deep down and forced myself to forget it and move on. When I fell in love with Kili it was such a relief. And I did love him Thranduil very much. I would have given him my life."

Thranduil's heart squeezed tight with the pain of jealousy and with sympathy. He knew how painful it was to love from afar with no hope and also how it felt to love someone and lose them.

"Who is he?" Thranduil whispered. "Perhaps I can help you." Tauriel smiled and it hurt him as he braced himself for her answer.

"Do you love me?" Tauriel asked.

Thranduil sighed again and wished she would just put him out of his misery. "Please tell me who he is."

Tauriel brought his hand to her lips and kissed his palm. "It is my king. Thranduil Opherion whom I have loved all these long years with no hope."

Thranduil gave her a look of confusion and she laughed then turned and moved so she was straddling his lap. "I am not asking to be made queen. I am not asking for you to love me."

"What are you asking for?" Thranduil asked as he put her hands on her hips and held her gaze.

"For you to let me give you what love I have left to give. I haven't the heart to spend it on anyone else."

Thranduil slid his hands up her waist. "And what if I want to give you my love?" he asked. "My heart."

Tauriel shook her head. "Is it truly yours to give?"

"No," Thranduil said and wiped the tears that began falling down Tauriel's face. "Because you stole it. I cannot give you what you already own."

Tauriel leaned forward and buried her face into his neck. "Do you see why I don't want to take my time? What has time ever done for either of us?"

Thranduil put his hand on her back as he held her close. "It brought us here and now so I wouldn't call it that much of an enemy."

"You are much more forgiving than I am, Thranduil."

He sighed as he kissed the side of her head. "And what about Legolas?"

"Legolas is an adult and I am not an object to be given or taken," Tauriel said then moved so she could look into Thranduil's eyes. "And it's best that you remember that."

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for this chapter - Eurielle - Whispers - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noQLQWnQGz4  
> \--

  
Thranduil woke with a start in the darkness then couldn't help but smile as he remembered falling asleep with Tauriel in his arms. He shifted so he could watch her sleep. They had talked for several hours before Tauriel fell asleep and he found he was content to simply hold her.

Thranduil considered that perhaps she was right and time was their enemy, but he wanted to savor every moment of getting to know every part of her; and as her friend Uron had said she deserved so much more. He decided she deserved to be courted, it was the best way to give her the respect she deserved. 

The last thing he wanted was for accusations of her being his whore as Galion had so coldly put it. They would have to be discreet at first and move slow. He smiled wryly at how Tauriel was going to fight him and he found he looked forward to the battle.

He placed a kiss on the top of her head, slid from her arms, then tucked the furs around her. It would not be wise to be found in each other's arms and it was almost dawn. A servant would be in to wake him and he needed to be found in his own room.

Upon arrival in his bedroom he drew back the covers and mussed up the bed before going to dress. He was just washing his face when a servant knocked on the door.

"Come in," he called then turned to see Galion as he finished drying his face.

"Pardon the interruption," Galion said while he looked around the room expectantly. He frowned then looked at Thranduil who was standing with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Old habits die hard," Galion told Thranduil as he walked to the wardrobe and pulled out a golden robe with a crimson interior and rubies sewed into the hems and placed it on the nearest chair as Thranduil fastened the buttons on the shirt he was wearing and tucked it into his leggings. 

"I always thought the gold acorn brooch went best with these robes," Galion remarked as he turned to find look through a tray of jewelry.  
Thranduil said nothing as sat on the nearest bench and pulled on his boots while Galion picked out rings from the jewel box on the dressing table. When he was done he let Galion help him with his robes but he wouldn't allow him to fasten the pin. 

"Would you take breakfast with me this morning?" Galion finally asked.

Thranduil reached for a silver circlet and placed it on his head, frowning at the mirror as he straightened his hair before finally turning to Galion to look at the handful of rings his assistant presented for his king to wear.

"I have plans," he finally said as he plucked each ring from Galion's hand. "And before you ask about tomorrow, you should know my calendar as well as I do." 

"My Lord," Galion said as he bowed after he watched Thranduil slip the last ring on his finger. "Then I will take my leave and speak with you later."

"Good day," Thranduil said then watched Galion turn and leave. He quietly followed him to the door then watched has he paused in the entry way, looking toward the room where Tauriel slept before finally turning and leaving.

Thranduil walked back to his dressing room, plucked the pin from his robes and let them billow to the floor as he pulled the rings from his fingers and put them quickly in their proper place before returning to Tauriel.

\--

Thranduil stopped at the door way then let out a sad sigh upon finding the room empty. The furs he and Tauriel had slept in were folded neatly and even the fire was out. The chill in the room went straight into Thranduil's heart and he hung his head a moment before walking toward the couch and sitting. 

Had she changed her mind once she woke? Had she folded the blankets to rid them of the memory of their evening together? Would she later send him a message expressing her regrets and begging him not to hold it against her?

"Thranduil?" Tauriel called from the balcony. Thranduil lifted his head and turned to find Tauriel backlit by the cold morning light. She looked like spring, vibrant and smiling. Without a word he stood, walked over to her and took her in his arms. Placing kisses on the top of her head until she lifted her face to his. He kissed her brow, her cheeks, her nose, her chin then her lips before pulling away and looking into her eyes.

"You thought I left did you not?" Tauriel asked as she reached up to caress his face.

Thranduil closed his eyes and put his hand on hers. "Yes."

"I would not have gone without seeing you first," she told him then blushed. "I could not. I woke up missing you and my heart wouldn't let me be until I saw you again."

Thranduil smiled then laughed as he pulled her into a hug. 

"I should have known better, Melamin," he said and she shivered in his arms. "And you must be hungry. Can you spend the morning with me?"

Tauriel nodded her head. "I will need to see Uron and Mae and make sure they know you haven't had me put in the dungeons but that can wait." 

Thranduil led her back into the room to sit down then tended to the fire. Two servants entered. One carrying a pot of tea and cups and another with a tray of bread, fruits, and honey for breakfast. 

Tauriel smiled at them and thanked them as she was served a cup of tea and it wasn't until they were gone that Thranduil sat next to her. He plucked an apple from the bowl of fruit and began slicing it with a knife he produced from the sleeve of his shirt with flourish. 

She smiled as he deftly peeled and sliced the apple then presented it to her. Tauriel gave him a wicked look that would have had him off his feet were he not sitting as she took a piece of apple then lifted it to his mouth.

Thranduil smirked at her as she raised her eyebrows questioningly then opened his mouth. They fed each other as they looked into each other's eyes, though Thranduil gave in and let Tauriel feed him more than she ate.

"I worry about you," she told him as she brushed her finger tips on his lips and he frowned at her as he chewed then swallowed.

"I will endure," he replied. "There has never been a need to worry for me, Tauriel. I..."

"Hush," she told him as she placed a slice of apple against his lips. "I worry about you."

Thranduil smiled then took her hand and put the food away from them and pulled her into his lap. "Tauriel, there is no longer a need for you to worry." he whispered then kissed her.

"I love you," Tauriel whispered against his lips as her hands roamed his body and Thranduil groaned. "Take me to your bedroom and I will show you how much."

"We have time," He told her then gasped as her hand wandered below the waistband of his leggings. He grabbed her hand and put it against his racing heart.

Tauriel nipped his earlobe and his resolve began wavering. "Not enough time," she whispered. "There isn't enough time. A million years won't be enough." 

"We have forever," Thranduil told her as he forced her away so he could look into her eyes. "Forever Tauriel. I promise." He wanted to say more, to lead her into words and promises that would bind them together but he stopped himself just as he had stopped himself from carrying her to bed.

Tauriel felt a shiver run through her and shook her head as tears sprang to her eyes. "How can you promise me forever, Thranduil? You know as well as I that..."

"No," Thranduil told her as he brought her hand to his lips and kissed her finger tips. "We have now. We have tomorrow and will not live our lives on the expectation of an end to it. We are Elves, Tauriel. Not humans or Dwarves. I have lived thousands of years and I will live thousands more with you by my side. We can afford to take our time."

Tauriel closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I disagree with you."

"I wouldn't expect less," Thranduil told her and she gave him an amused look. 

"You and I are safe in my halls. It is winter and there is no need to rush."

Tauriel growled at him as she held his gaze. "There is no need to wait either."

Thranduil shook his head as he reached out to comb his fingers through her hair. "I have a meeting with several advisers this morning, then I am to the training ground for inspection and sword practice. I have yet another meeting after lunch and more paperwork to go over, as well as letters to write."

  
"Trying to get rid of me?" Tauriel asked as she touched her fingers to his racing pulse point and found herself enchanted with the rapid beat.

"I would like nothing better than to keep you by my side," Thranduil told her. "But I will not leave you open to gossip and possible ridicule. We can meet this evening."

Tauriel frowned then leaned forward and put her head against his shoulder. "I have business to attend to myself. I have an embroidery project that has been waiting for my hands to finish. I also need to assure my friends that I am well."

"Then this evening," Thranduil said.

"I can be at the training grounds this afternoon," Tauriel told him. "Mae and I usually spar with each other then."

Thranduil nodded. "Will you be hurt if I do not acknowledge you?"

"Of course not," Tauriel said. "I have had enough gossip and ridicule lately that..." She paused and narrowed her eyes at Thranduil who was smiling. "Oh fine you have proven your point. But it will be enough just to see you this afternoon."

"And this evening we will have time together," Thranduil said as he stood and offered her his hand. "Let me see you to the door." Tauriel put her hand in his and let him pull her up into his arms where he kissed her deeply before putting his arm around her and walking with her out.

"I will see you soon," Thranduil told her as he caressed her hair.

"Don't forget I love you," Tauriel told him as she forced herself away from him. She bit her lip as she held back the urge to cry. She wished things were different. She didn't want to be away from him.

"I love you also," Thranduil said and opened the door. Tauriel started through it and paused. Thranduil gave her a questioning look.

"We didn't discuss the scouting mission," she said.

Thranduil frowned at her. "And here I thought you were suitably distracted. How wrong I was."

"Thranduil," Tauriel said as she gave him her best stern look. "This is important."

"Tonight," Thranduil told her as he reached out and smoothed the furrow between her eyebrows with a fingertip until she smiled. "We will discuss it tonight."

Galion narrowed his eyes as he stood in the shadows watching Tauriel walk from Thranduil's chambers. He waited until the door was closed before following her. She was humming as she practically floated through the halls, making her way to her own room.  
He stood at her door a moment then took a deep breath and walked back the way he came. He was meeting with Thranduil shortly and he didn't want to be late.

\---

Mae looked up from her sewing as Tauriel arrived in the work room then looked at her father and mother who greeted Tauriel cheerfully then back at Tauriel as she sat down and plucked her needle from where she'd last placed it it.

"You did not come home last night," Mae whispered. "Uron and I waited. I also checked your quarters this morning. Your bed had not been slept in." She watched as Tauriel blushed.

"Thranduil and I spoke at length. I fell asleep in his sitting room. I woke up covered in furs and then we had breakfast together." Mae hummed as he continued to sew.

"We were worried about you."

Tauriel resisted the urge to curse as she realized she had begun embroidering in the wrong direction. She shook her head as she plucked the thread from the fabric. "There is nothing to worry about. He's not going to banish me or throw me in the dungeon."

She looked up to find Mae shaking her head as she focused on her sewing. "That's not at all what Uron and I are worried about and you know it, Tauri."

Tauriel said nothing for awhile as she focused on her work. When she was done she tied off her threads then turned to Mae. "And so what if he is courting me? What if I want him to?"

"Tauriel!" Mae gasped. "No. No. It's not right."

"And why not? Why is it not right? If we care for each other what does it matter?"

Mae put aside her sewing and moved closer to Tauriel. "First, he is our king. You are an orphan. A disgraced soldier. A sylvan elf. People are going to accuse you of seducing him. They will make up stories. You traded some sort of magic with the dwarves to make him fall in love with you out of revenge."

"Ridiculous," Tauriel said. "And I don't care what people say. And if anyone believes Thranduil could possibly be that weak and vulnerable then they don't know our king very well."

"And what about Legolas?" Mae asked. "He has been in love with you for as long as I can remember. This is going to shatter him."

Tauriel clenched her fists together. "Does it not matter how I feel? Does it not matter that my love for him is only as a friend and brother? I am to sacrifice everything because he loves me? No, Mae. He will find someone else. Someone more suitable."

"The king is married!" Mae finally said. "His wife might not be here with us now but she is waiting for him. He should not even dare to court your affections!"

Tauriel closed her eyes tight. "She is not here. He is. She is dead. He is alive. He is expected to just rot away here alone?"

"He is expected to go sail to the Undying Lands where she is likely waiting," Mae told her. "This is wrong!" She put her hand on Tauriel's arm. "Can you not see that you're setting yourself up for sorrow? Nothing good can come from this!"

"I am not asking to be his wife," Tauriel said softly.

"And when the time comes when he had finally had enough of being away from the love of his life and chooses to sail, where will that leave you Tauriel? You will be left behind. Alone. Without love. Without someone waiting for you, even in the halls of Mandos. Imagine a bleak eternity knowing the one you love is ever out of your reach."

Several tears rolled down Tauriel's face and she shook her head as she wiped them away with the sleeve of her tunic. "I do not have to imagine such. I already know what that loss feels like, Mae. Kili is forever out of my reach. I would rather have this time with Thranduil than nothing of him at all."

"If you just give Legolas a chance..."

"No!" Tauriel yelled as she stood and everyone looked up from their work. "I cannot. I will not. I do not wish to." She walked from the room leaving Mae with her hand on her heart as though she herself had been wounded.

"Excuse me," she said to her parents then went after Tauriel.

\-----

Tauriel swung the door to her quarters open then slammed and locked the door before sitting on the bed and covering her face with her hands.

"Tauri," Mae called as she knocked at the door. "I know you are upset. I am sorry my words hurt, but you needed to hear them. I am just trying to protect you. Uron and I don't want to see you hurt further."

Tauriel took several deep calming breaths. "I need to be alone to think," she called. "Just leave me be, Mae."

"No," her friend said. "Open the door and let me in." Tauriel laid on her bed and curled up in a ball and ignored Mae's knocking.

"Fine," Mae said. "If you refuse to let me in and listen to me then I will go to our king himself and he will hear what I have to say."

"No!" Tauriel yelled as she jumped from the bed, unlocked the door, and opened it. "You will leave him alone. You do not understand, Mae. All you know is that everything has worked out perfectly for you and Uron." She sniffled. "You are lucky. I am not."

"Don't say that," Mae said as she walked into the room and closed the door behind her. "What does luck have to do with anything in life?"

"I lost my parents. I lost Kili. I have found something with our king and you say it is wrong. What else am I to think?" Tauriel sat down in the nearest chair. "My life stretches out before me bleak with grief. Am I destined to spend all my days in lamentation?"

  
"Of course not," Mae said. "I hate to suggest it but perhaps you should take leave of Middle-Earth. Perhaps you will find joy in the Undying Lands."

"You would rather see me gone than sharing a life with someone I love?"

"I would rather not see you hurt," Mae said as she reached out and put her hand on her arm.

Tauriel sighed. "Do you trust me?"

"Of course."

"Then trust that I will make the right decisions for myself."

Mae bit her lip as she looked at Tauriel. "Fine. Back to work"

"Yes," Tauriel agreed and followed Mae back down to the work room.

\----

Thranduil stood in the training grounds wearing light leather armor as he surveyed several of his troops sparing. Thorontur, one of his generals walked beside him and spoke of troop numbers, battle ready members, weapons and weather but he was only able to listen with half an ear as he searched for Tauriel. 

From the moment she had departed that morning he had missed her and it grew from there and he found it utterly intolerable. His work had not been enough of a distraction and Galion's desire to prove himself valuable was wearing on his nerves. 

He found himself looking forward to the afternoon and being able to set his eyes upon her even if from a distance. Unfortunately, he had not yet found her and it caused a sick little knot of pain to form in his chest. He couldn't help but think she had changed her mind, no matter how much he reassured himself that she loved him as he loved her.

"My Lord?" Thorontur asked. "You seem to be elsewhere. Is something troubling you?"

"No," Thranduil answered as his eyes scanned the upper balconies of the training ground. "I am listening and thinking. You were saying that the road to Imladris is impassable?"

"Not without a long journey through other more dangerous paths," the general said. "We will have to wait until spring to resume communications." Thranduil nodded then took Thorontur up on the invitation to spar with the hope that a fight would clear his mind.

He continued to look for Tauriel as he unsheathed his swords and performed a few practice swings and foot work before turning to the general. 

"On your word, My Lord," Thorontur said as he stood in anticipation for attack.

"Now," Thranduil said then moved forward into Thorontur's attack. He spun with his sword to parry each blow, but unfortunately he couldn't focus on the fight as every movement in the crowd caught his attention as he sought Tauriel's face. 

Thranduil had not had an accident on the training ground since before Legolas was born but when realized he had left himself vulnerable to attack it was too late for him to do anymore than turn away from the blade swinging toward him. Thorontur's sword slid past the barrier of his leather shirt as he attempted to bend back and the fight instantly ceased. He put his hand to is side and found his blood soaking through the leather.

"My Lord," Thorontur gasped as he dropped his sword and rushed forward to help his king.

Thranduil pushed away his assistance as the crowd of soldiers hushed. "Someone get a healer. Now!" Thorontur yelled. 

"It's just a minor scrape," Thranduil said as he kept his hand pressed to his side. He didn't mind the pain, in fact he found the almost breath taking sear of it a welcome distraction as he berated himself for the allowing himself to be wounded so easily.

"Move aside," Lalaithion one of the healers from the barracks called as he pushed through the crowd. Thranduil couldn't help but look for Tauriel even now and he cursed himself as an idiot.

"Let me see!" Lalaithion ordered as he moved Thranduil's hand from the wound and tore away at the leather so he could assess the damage.

"It's just a scrape," Thranduil said idly. "There is no need for alarm."

Lalaithion gave him a sour look. "It is a little more than a minor scrape, My Lord." He turned to Thorontur. "Help me get him to the house of healing. I want to get herbs on it and make sure no organs were punctured."

"I can walk on my own," Thranduil said as he pushed Thorontur away again. "Stay here and continue to run everyone through their paces. I don't want them growing complacent as I have."

"My Lord," Thorontur replied then bowed. Everyone moved aside as Thranduil walked from the training field with Lalaithion fussing behind him and it wasn't until he reached a cot in the house of healing that he sat down and let out a hiss of agony.

"Do you want me to send for anyone?" Lalaithion asked as he helped Thranduil remove the tight leather shirt and then the silken one beneath it.  
Tauriel, was the only person he wanted and he couldn't send for her no matter how desperately he needed her. 

"My assistant," Thranduil finally said after swallowing down a cup of herbs meant to ease his pain. Thranduil shook his head. "No. Not him," he whispered then closed his eyes as the herbs began making him feel light headed. "Tauriel. I really only need Tauriel. Will you send for her?"

"Tauriel?" Lalaithion queried. "Your former captain of the guard? Are you certain?"

"Yes," Thranduil said. "Tell her to hurry."

\---

Mae were in Tauriel's quarters eating lunch. Tauriel knew Thranduil would be at the training fields but she couldn't slip down there without a fight with Mae. Uron had asked her to stay away as the king would be there so Tauriel had no excuses to make. She hoped Thranduil would understand her absence. 

Mae had just handed Tauriel a cup of tea when Tauriel gasped and grabbed her side. The hot liquid spilled across her lap and Mae jumped to sop it up with a dry cloth while trying to minimize any burning.

"What's wrong?" Mae asked as Tauriel bent forward, clutched her side and panted.

"I do not know. It was a sudden sharp pain. Like I had been stabbed, but now it's gone."

"Are you going to be alright? Should I fetch a healer?" Mae asked as she picked up the cup that had rolled to the floor. 

Tauriel shook her head then lifted her hand off her side and looked at in surprise. She had fully expected it to be covered in blood but it was dry. She lifted her shirt and looked to find an angry red welt across her side. She quickly dropped her shirt and looked at Mae. 

"Why would I call a healer when there's nothing wrong?" Mae gave her a worried look and was about to make her another cup of tea when someone began pounding on the door.

"Tauriel! Your presence is required immediately. Open your door." Both Tauriel and Mae stood at the door looking at a healer's apprentice who was looking back at them with wide fear filled eyes.

"Hurry," the woman panted. "The king. He's been wounded and he's asking for you."

The world ceased making sense to Tauriel as the ground shifted beneath her feet. She felt like she was falling endlessly, though she wasn't, she was racing through the hallways with a healer and Mae fast on her heels. 

She burst into the healing room, caught sight of Thranduil laying on a cot and all she saw was blood. 

"What happened?" she asked as she fell to her knees at his side.

"Tauriel," Thranduil whispered as he reached for her. She took one of his hands and stroked his hair with the other. 

"What happened?" she asked again not daring to take her eyes from Thranduil's.

Lalaithion looked at Tauriel a moment and shook his head as if to wonder why he was answering to a once banished captain. "It is not as dire as it may seem. He was sparring and took a sword to his side. It hit muscle but no organs. It's a shallow wound really, though painful. I've given him herbs to quell the pain so you must forgive him if he is not quite himself."

Tauriel swallowed hard then looked at the bandaged wound on Thranduil's side and the blood blossoming through the white gauze.

"He is still bleeding," she said.

"No," Lalaithion told her. "It's stopped. I assure you."

"Melamin," Thranduil whispered as he brought Tauriel's hand to his lips and whispered something indistinguishable against it. She gave Mae who was standing not to far away with her hands over her mouth, a helpless look.

"I gave him enough herbs that he should have fallen asleep already, but he's clearly fighting it." Lalaithion said as he eyed Tauriel for a moment. "Would you tell him to rest? Perhaps that's the key."

"Thranduil," Tauriel whispered as she turned to him. "You have been hurt. You need to sleep."

"If I sleep you will leave," Thranduil told her. "I do not want to wake and find you gone."

Tauriel smiled at him. "I will stay by your side."

"Swear it," Thranduil ordered. "Swear that you will never leave me. Promise you will ever be by my side. Forever Tauriel, swear it. I cannot even think straight without knowing I won't lose you."

Tauriel swallowed hard and didn't dare look at Lalaithion or Mae. She was sure in his right mind Thranduil wouldn't ask her to speak such binding words. As much as she wanted to agree she couldn't - not like this.

"I promise to be here when you wake," she told him and he growled at her in irritation but he closed his eyes and he finally drifted to sleep.

"Tauri?" Mae asked as she stood next to her friend. "Can I get you anything?"

"No," Tauriel said as she extracted her hands from Thranduil's then stood and turned to Lalaithion. 

"He's going to be fine," Lalaithion said before Tauriel could ask. "It will be mostly healed by the time he wakes."

"Tauri," Mae said. Her voice was shaking. "How does your side feel?"

"My side?" Tauriel asked. "Nothing's wrong with..." She stopped and closed her eyes. "Nothing is wrong with me. I'm fine."

Mae looked at Lalaithion who had moved out of hearing range and leaned forward. "When he was stabbed you felt it!" she accused in a soft whisper. "Have pledged yourselves to each other? Have you bonded?"

"No!" Tauriel denied. "No. We haven't and even if we had why would I feel his pain? It was just an odd coincidence."  
Mae shook her head. Her dark eyes filled with fear. "Uron and I," she said then blushed. "We... We can sometimes feel when the other is distressed." She began wringing her hands. "I've heard tell that when a bonding is real, deep and true..."

Tauriel rolled her eyes. "No," she said. "I know what you are implying. Do not even think it Mae. No. Thranduil and I have performed no ritual. We haven't bonded. We've kissed. Nothing more." Though it would have been more if she'd had her way even then there was no explanation for the welt on her side. 

Her mind veered away from Mae's worries and on to other more serious topics. What if the injury had been worse and it had been fatal? She didn't think she could survive losing another person close to her, let alone Thranduil. She wanted to cry. To curl up beside Thranduil and never let him go but she couldn't do either. 

"Perhaps your souls have formed a bond without your knowledge." Mae suggested refusing to budge from the topic.

Tauriel rolled her eyes. "You are such a romantic, Mae. Those sorts of bonds don't really exist. They're just made up stories."

"Legends," Mae said. 

"And as you so ungracefully pointed out to me earlier. He's married in the eyes of our people. His wife is waiting for him. It would be impossible for his soul to bond with mine."

Tears filled Mae's eyes. "I'm sorry I hurt you earlier. I didn't understand," Mae said. "Uron and I worry for you so much. But you really love him."

"You really worry over me too much," Tauriel said, ignoring Mae's question as she looked at Thranduil. Even injured and asleep he had a kingly presence. She almost laughed and promised herself she would be grateful tease him about it later.

"So," Mae continued. "You are right about his marriage, but what if..,"

"No," Tauriel said not taking her eyes from her king. "No what ifs."

"Then explain your side." Mae told her.

"It was coincidence. Drop it Mae."

"Lalaithion," Mae called. "Earlier, Tauriel spilled some hot tea on herself. Will you come take a look at it?"

"Mae!" Tauriel almost shouted but managed to keep her voice down. "This is ridiculous." She looked at Lalaithion then winced. She knew the healer too well. He would brook no nonsense. She dearly wished some other healer had been around when Thranduil was hurt.

"Lift your shirt and let him see," Mae said as she raised her eyebrows at Tauriel.

"Come now," Lalaithion said as he prodded Tauriel's arm. "I've seen it all and you know it. Lift your shirt and let me have a look."

Tauriel huffed then lifted up the edge of her tunic only to find Mae gasping and Lalaithion frowning at the angry red welt on her side. He touched it gently.

"It doesn't hurt," she told him. 

"And it's a burn you say?," he said then gave her a skeptical look. He sighed and ran his hand through his dark hair. "You know I have no patience this nonsense. How did you get this?"

"I don't know," Tauriel answered. Lalaithion narrowed his eyes at her.

"Then tell me, Tauriel no longer Captain of the King's Guard, what exactly is your relationship with our king? If you lie to me I'll dose you with dragon spit and you'll spend the next few days in agony in the privy."

"That's cruel," Tauriel accused.

"I've never been told I was gentle," Lalaithion told her. "So it is time to confess."

"We are a little more than friends," Tauriel answered. "Nothing more I swear it. We have grown close as of late. He has been courting me and I've allowed it, but that is all." Lalaithion made a gruff sound then stood and looked at Mae.

"Can you do something about it?" she asked and he gave her a look like she had just grown two heads.

"Who am I to interfere when a bond between two adults forms. Would you like me to break what you and Uron have? Take you for myself?" He gave her a suggestive look.

"No!" Mae gasped as she shook her head and took a few steps back.

"Then don't ask me to interfere," Lalaithion scolded. "Not that I could mind you, but even so to even dare ask!"

"There is no bond." Tauriel said softly. "How can there be? This is silly." Lalaithion turned to her and gave her a sad look. 

"This is between you and our king. I am going to go forward as though I know nothing. I find life is easier that way." Lalaithion gave Mae a pointed look then patted Tauriel on the shoulder and went to sit by the fire.

Mae watched Lalaithion for a moment. "Will you forgive me for being so harsh on you earlier?." She said as she turned to Tauriel who was in the process of moving a chair by Thranduil's bedside. 

Tauriel sighed as she sat then looked at Mae. "I know you worry. If I forgive you will you do it less?"

Mae shook her head. "I don't know if I can." Tauriel groaned and leaned her head back on her chair.

"Please, Tauri," Mae pleaded. "Forgive me."

Tauriel rolled her eyes. "Of course I forgive you. And I know you want to go find Uron. I don't suppose you'll keep all of this to yourself."

Mae looked down at her feet. "I can try but I tell Uron everything."

Tauriel laughed. "Just ask him to keep it between the two of you please?"

"Of course," Mae said then leaned down and hugged Tauriel. "I'll be back soon." Tauriel waved her away then leaned forward and took Thranduil's hand in her own. 

"This is ridiculous," she whispered to him softly. "When you wake up you have much to answer for."

Tauriel kissed his hand then placed it on the cot and leaned back in her chair. She was watching Thranduil sleep and dreaming of his eyes when Galion burst into the room.

"Where is he?" Galion asked frantically then stood speechless as he took in the sight of his beloved king sleeping on the cot.

"Healer!" he shouted and Lalaithion stood from his seat at the fire.

"Good day, Galion," he said as he walked forward. "How are you?"

"Dispense with the pleasantries. What happened? How severe is the wound? Will he survive? Should I send for Legolas?"

Lalaithion gave Galion a sour look. "It was a sparring accident as I am certain you have heard. The wound is minor. He is sleeping so that he may heal. There is no need to send for his son. This is not a life or death situation. Now please calm yourself before I force a sleeping draught down your throat."

Galion let out a deep breath then thanked Lalaithion who grumbled and returned to his chair by the fire. Galion turned to look at Thranduil and found Tauriel.

"What are you doing here?" he asked as he folded his arms over his chest. 

Tauriel opened her mouth then closed it, unsure how to answer. Galion had always been so kind to her and now his hatred for her was hurtful. She wished she could say something to sooth him but she doubted she could.

"Leave," Galion ordered. "I will not have a traitor by our king's side while he is wounded. You have no place here, Tauriel."

"Actually," Lalaithion called from beside the fire. "She cannot leave."

"Why?" Galion asked. 

"Because I said," Lalaithion answered. "And in the house of healing my word is law. If you don't like it I will force you to leave."

"Why are you here?" Galion asked Tauriel softly.

Tauriel swallowed hard. "Because he called for me," she answered then winced at the look of anger and hurt in Galion's eyes. 

"I see," Galion said then looked at Thranduil. He shook his head then turned to pull up another chair beside the cot. "I'll wait here for him to wake."

"You will stay an hour," Lalaithion called. "Then you will leave." Galion grimaced then looked at Tauriel. He glared at her a moment then turned wordlessly to look at Thranduil.

Tauriel bit her bottom lip then leaned back in her chair. She had nothing to say to Galion and didn't know how to answer his questions. She was glad he decided to ignore her. Though it bothered her when he reached out and took Thranduil's hand in his and cradled it in his for the entire time Lalaithion allowed him to stay.

Galion finally left without a word just a glare and Tauriel was glad to see him go, and even more glad to twine her finger's with Thranduil's. He squeezed her fingers with his own and she smiled and hoped he knew it was her hand he held.

\---

Mae slipped down to the training ground and down to the gate where Uron stood talking to several of their friends. He smiled as she approached and broke away from the group.

"You are upset," he stated and Mae nodded her head.

"Is it because the king was hurt? Is Tauriel alright?"

"No," Mae answered. "I am so scared for Tauriel. I think she and the king have formed a bond without trying."

"A what?" Uron asked. "How does one form an unwitting bond without the ritual of marriage or.." he blushed. "You know."

Mae blushed in turn then shook her head. "I don't know. But I do know that they are in love with each other Uron."

Uron sighed and put his arm around his fiancee. "Then there is not much more we can do. I refuse interfere between two people who love each other. Will you?"

Mae shook her head. "No. But he has nothing to lose. He is king, Uron and she has nothing to gain."

Uron smiled fondly. "She has us and a few other loyal friends. And if the king loves her then she has him and who better to protect her? Besides, he does risk loss."

"What does he risk?" Mae asked. 

"Legolas," Uron answered. 

"But has he not given up on her? As much as we have hoped to unite them, he did leave."

Uron sighed. "He left to give her time to heal on her own. He knew his father would not throw her out. I.. I spoke with him before he left."

Mae opened and closed her mouth. "Why didn't you tell me?" 

"I promised," Uron said. "And it pained me to keep it from you and it pains me to tell you now. Legolas intends on returning in for the Spring festival in hope of making a fresh start with her."

Mae closed her eyes as she shook her head. "I foresee nothing but pain for everyone."

"We will be there for them both," Uron told her. "You will help Tauri and I will help Legolas and eventually time will work it all out on its own."

"Then we are to just let this happen?" Mae asked.

"It is not our place to stop it," Uron answered as he began walking with her from the training grounds. "Now tell me how is our king?"

Mae answered, telling him everything as they walked away oblivious to the elf who had stood listening to them and followed them in the shadows as they walked home.

\---

Thranduil felt like his head was full of cotton wool as he opened his eyes then tried to sit up. Someone pushed him back down and he growled at them.

"Wait until Lalaithion has checked your wounds," Tauriel told him and he looked at her then sighed and laid back against the pillows.

"You stayed," he said as he reached for her hair and tangled his fingers in it.

"As if I could stand to be anywhere but by your side," Tauriel told him as he tried to pull her to lay down beside him.

"Wait," she told him. "You will hurt yourself." 

Thranduil smiled. "You are over concerned."

"You give me cause to be, My Lord," she told him and chuckled as he frowned at her. Lalaithion appeared by her side and Thranduil grimaced at the healer.

"There was no need to give me herbs to sleep," he told Lalaithion.

Lalaithion shook his head as he cut through the bandages and inspected Thranduil's wound. "You were in pain and needed to keep still. Sleeping was the best for you."

"How is it?" Tauriel asked as she watched Lalaithion wipe blood from Thranduil's wound.

"Much better," the healer said. "It was a shallow cut to begin with and nothing to be alarmed at. It will heal quickly."

Thranduil pushed at Lalaithion's hands trying to help and sat up. "I already knew that," he said. "How long have I been asleep?"

"A few hours," Tauriel answered. Thranduil groaned then gave her a sad look. 

"There are people I need to speak with and arraignments to make..,"

"And you need me to leave," Tauriel finished for him and he reached over to caress her face. She looked over at Lalaithion and found his back to them so she leaned over and kissed Thranduil.

"Tauriel," he whispered against her lips then pulled her into his arms and she let him. She was overcome with the urge to beg him to let her stay and to put off work but she wouldn't allow it. Instead she let herself delight in being pressed against Thranduil's bare chest and let her fingers wander across his pale skin. She wanted to kiss it, all of it.

"I looked for you this afternoon," he said softly. "Where were you?"

Tauriel closed her eyes tight. "I couldn't make it. Mae and I had an argument and if I left to go to the training ground it would have been alone and I didn't think it was a good idea." 

Thranduil hummed as he pressed his lips to her hair. "I was distracted looking for you. I thought fighting would help me focus. I was wrong. I made a mistake and I was wounded. Can you forgive me?"

Tauriel moved so she could look into his face. "You don't have to apologize to me for that! It is I who should be asking for your forgiveness. I should have been there."

"You made no promise," Thranduil told her. "It was I who was foolish." He gave her a loving smile then looked at Lalaithion who was turned away from them before kissing her again.

"I'm afraid I'll need to call for Galion and get to work. I'll come to you when I am able."

Tauriel bit her lip for a moment. "Promise?" she asked.

"I promise," Thranduil answered. 

\---


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Legolas finally enters the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am late! I am sorry. You should have had this update weeks ago. I had this chapter mostly written but weird computer glitch erased the whole chapter and I couldn't recover it. Oh how I wept. I almost gave up writing the whole story. Then I started watching The Fall a movie staring Lee Pace and well... He's so beautiful damn it. So here we are.
> 
> Also note that I am going by the book timeline so Aragorn or Estel as he is known at the moment, is still very young.
> 
> Song for this chapter - First Aid Kit - My Silver Lining - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNNYtm2XJGc

Thranduil put aside the report he was reading and stretched. His side had begun aching too much for him to ignore and he wanted nothing than to be done with paperwork so he could go to Tauriel and forget for a short time all the burdens being king placed on his shoulders.

The corners of his lips curled into a slight smile as he imagined her welcoming him into her quarters. Of course he had visited her there once before but that was as an adversary, not as her lover.

"My Lord?" Galion asked as took in the king's rosy cheeks. He placed a cup of hot tea on Thranduil's desk. "Are you well?" Thranduil twisted from side to side in his chair to work out the kink in his side then nodded his head.

"How much more work do I need to see to? With the abundance if snow one would think everyone would rest." Speaking of rest, Thranduil had arranged after his injury that afternoon to take a week off, to spend with Tauriel of course, and it was the perfect time of year to do so. He always took a short break in the winter so there was no need to explain his desire for rest.

Galion shuffled through a few scrolls. "The snow removal at the entrance to your halls has been going well. Perhaps a hunting party can be arranged when your side has completely healed. The memorial for the fallen no longer needs your input. I we all feel weary and in need of rest after autumn's losses."

Thranduil hummed and took the scrolls Galion was holding. Thanks to the battle with the dwarves he had been far too busy to for a winter hunt or to take much leisure time. The last month or so had been terribly arduous. He wondered idly about inviting Tauriel to go hunting with him. Would doing so raise too many eyebrows?

He sighed as opened a letter from Dale then frowned at their request for aid as the attack from Smaug as well as the battle had destroyed much of their harvest. His thoughts however, were of Tauriel dressed in white furs hunting by his side.

"It would be too much of a risk," he said to himself and Galion gave him a quizzical look.

"Our stores are more than adequate," Galion said as he frowned. "How would assisting Dale be a risk?"

Thranduil pulled himself from his thoughts and looked at Galion. "Pardon?" he asked.

Galion cleared his throat. "You said it would be too much of a risk. Are you referring to the request from Dale? How much have they asked for?"

Thranduil chuckled at himself and Galion stared at him with wide eyes. "Their request is quite modest actually. I was thinking on another matter entirely." He pulled out a sheet of paper and began writing.

"Of course we will assist Dale in their time of need and you are right we have plenty in our stores to see us through the winter. Hopefully they will remember our generosity once they have stabilized." He smiled again, his thoughts returning to Tauriel and how white furs and starlight would favor her, and Galion gave him a wary look.

"Did you put something in your tea for pain while I wasn't looking?" Galion asked. "You are in a very jovial mood considering your injury."

"I am looking forward to taking a break from all this work," Thranduil answered then quickly finished his letter to Dale as well as a stamped order to his supply master to send the requested goods.  
Galion hummed in agreement as he took both documents then stood.

"I will see that these are delivered, but before I do. I wanted to remind you of dinner. I've had a hearty stew prepared and will have fresh bread. Plus, there are a few matters I'd like to discuss before you lock yourself away."

Thranduil frowned at Galion's words. It was true. During any winter breaks of the past he had locked himself away, unless the hunting and weather were good, and spent his time getting drunk and arguing with Legolas.

The weather was too poor for a prolonged hunt, besides he didn't wish to leave Tauriel. Legolas wasn't here and he felt guilty for being grateful for it. He had no interest spending lonely hours getting drunk when his time would be better spent in the company of his beloved. He smiled at endearment and wondered what she would say if he used it. Galion frowned at him.

"My lord?" Galion asked.

"Of course," Thranduil answered. It was a practice over the last thousand years to have dinner with Galion before each break and he regretted he couldn't find an excuse out of it. Not without having to answer too many of Galion's probing questions.

It was Galion's turn to smile. "Very good then, My Lord. I will see you within the hour?"

An hour was enough time for him to see Tauriel and tell her he would be late. He nodded and Galion bowed before leaving.

\---

Tauriel smiled when she opened her door to find Thranduil waiting to be let in. He stood before her like a force of nature. The feirce look in his eyes took her breath away. She hadn't seen him dressed formally is king in so long it took a moment to get accept the ellon wearing the black robes shot with gold thread and the silver circlet on his head was still her Thranduil.

"May I come in?" he asked, his hesitancy was so at odds with his countenance as king that it unsettled her. "I cannot stay but I want to explain that I'll be late for our evening together."

"Is something wrong?" Tauriel asked as she stepped aside then closed the door behind him. She turned then gasped as he pushed her against the door and kissed her senseless.

"I missed you," he whispered as he pulled back and looked at her.

"I've missed you too," Tauriel admitted. "How is your side?"

Thranduil growled then kissed her again and it was all Tauriel could do to keep her legs from collapsing beneath her. His lips wandered to her jawline then to her neck.

"You are wearing nothing beneath this robe," Thranduil accused as he pulled at the belt of the green silken robe she wore. Tauriel flushed bright pink from the tip of her ears to her toes.

"I wasn't expecting you. I just returned from bathing."

Thranduil growled against her neck then forced himself away before he gave into the urge to push the garment from her shoulders. He turned away in an effort to find his self control.

"I was waiting until later, but it's necessary to tell you now," he began as he turned away from her. "I have arranged to take some time from my duties. I want to spend those days with you."  
Tauriel smiled at how he couldn't look at her as he told her his plans. She reached out and put her hand on his back and he turned and smiled at her wistfully.

"Unfortunately, I am committed to having dinner with Galion before every rest break and tonight is no different." He shivered as Tauriel took his hand and kissed his palm.

"Something has slipped the mind of my king?" Tauriel teased.

Thranduil raised his eyebrows. "Yes, well I have been distracted as of late." Tauriel mimicked his expression.

"You haven't answered my question. How is your side?"

"See for yourself," Thranduil told her as he opened his robes. Tauriel gave him a wary look then untied the enclosure on the side of his shirt and pulled it away from his body.

"It's still bruised," Tauriel said. Thranduil shivered at the touch of her fingertips against his skin. "But it looks better."

"And there is no need for concern," he said then closed his eyes as her fingers wandered up his sides. He swallowed hard then jolted as she stepped forward and kissed the center of his chest.

"Don't tell me it doesn't hurt," Tauriel said against his skin. "Because I know it does." She considered mentioning the bond forming between them but thought better of it.

"I've had worse injuries," Thranduil answered then gasped as her teeth grazed one of his nipples.

"You still should be careful," Tauriel told him then nipped at his skin and he swallowed hard to keep from moaning.

"Speaking of careful," he said breathlessly. "I am expected elsewhere at the moment and you are starting something we cannot finish."

"Or trying to distract you," Tauriel said then forced herself from his arms and walked to the fire where she had been sitting and drying her hair then looked over her shoulder.

Thranduil refastened his shirt, straightened his robes then turned toward the door. "I will return as soon as I can if I am still welcome."

Tauriel laughed. "Of course you are welcome. Always."

Thranduil reached for the door then paused. "As lovely as the thought is. I hope you are wearing something beneath that robe when I return."

"We will see," Tauriel teased. He gave her a warning look then chuckled before leaving her alone by the fire.

\---

Galion wore a pleased expression as he served Thranduil a bowl of stew though his smile fell as Thranduil frowned at the food set before him. Galion placed a goblet of wine beside the bowl then sat down beside his king.

"I know you don't feel you need to eat much," Galion started. "But I spoke to the healer. It is taking a great deal of your energy to heal so quickly. You need nourishment." Thranduil picked up the spoon beside his bowl and sighed. He could admit to himself that he was far too hungry to eat nothing but his usual fare of fruits, nuts and cheese, but he could not bring himself to taste Galion's stew or even drink the wine he provided.

  
"My Lord?" Galion asked.

Thranduil grimaced and pushed away his meal. "You must forgive me, Galion. I have no appetite."

"At least drink the wine," Galion said as he stood and took Thranduil's bowl then gestured to the cushions near the fire where they usually sat during their evenings together.

From the moment Thranduil entered Galion's chambers a feeling of discomfort had overwhelmed Thranduil and he found he didn't wish to stay in the candle lit room. He stood and Galion followed him to the door.

"I think it best if I go rest," Thranduil said. "Thank you for the meal. I'm sorry I am unable to share it with you. Perhaps another time."

"Wait!" Galion shouted as he rushed forward and put his hand on the door to keep it from being opened. "Please, Thranduil. I am more worried for you than ever. Please stay and ease my fears."

Galion's use of his name unsettled him. "Why should I be concerned for your fears?" he asked.

"Because I have been nothing but a loyal servant to you," Galion offered. "You have been injured and have not been yourself since..."

"Since?" Thranduil asked as Galion trailed off. If said Tauriel's name Thranduil would turn and leave without a word.

Galion bowed his head. "Since Legolas left. Perhaps I have been wrong to fancy myself as your friend or think that you would have any loyalty toward me given our history."

Thranduil raised his eyebrows. "Given that you declared feelings for me which I cannot return it didn't occur to me to assume any other motive for your concern."

"My deeper feelings are not my only feelings," Galion said as he looked up at Thranduil. The sadness in his eyes moved Thranduil to pity and instead of leaving he went to sit by the fire thinking that perhaps he was too hard on Galion.

"Can I get you anything?" Galion asked before sitting across from Thranduil.

"Thank you. No," Thranduil answered then watched as Galion poured himself a drink then sat opposite him.

"It has been a very strange day," Galion started. "When was the last time you suffered an injury of any substance?"

Thranduil sighed. "Not since Legolas was small. Are you insinuating something?"

Galion shook his head then took a long drink from his cup. "I am just thinking that this rest from work you are taking is long over due. Perhaps you should call Legolas back to your halls and let him begin carrying more of your duties."

Thranduil narrowed his eyes at Galion. "I am not ready to even begin passing the crown to Legolas." If ever. He couldn't imagine giving up his crown and kingdom. While serving his people was difficult he could admit to himself that he loved his job and he loved his people with all of his being. Putting them in someone's' care, even Legolas' was utterly unthinkable.

"I wasn't suggesting you pass the crown to Legolas right away," Galion said. "Just ready him. Wouldn't you like to go home someday?"

"Home?" Thranduil queried. "I am home. This is home."

"To Aman," Galion said. "I have been considering often of going west myself..."

Thranduil frowned and let his walls drop. "Are you that tired old friend?"

Galion gave him a sad look. "Am I your friend?"

"As much as I have allowed anyone to be," Thranduil said as he leaned forward. "Is it because I cannot return your affections that you wish to leave my realm?"

Galion shook his head. "I would hope that you would as my oldest friend, accompany me. My dearest wish is to be there to see you reunited with your wife."

"Why?" Thranduil asked warily.

"Because that is how much I love you," Galion said then looked from Thranduil's face to the fire. "I want to see you happy again. I want to see your wounds healed. I want to see you without the burdens you carry."

"I carry my burdens by choice," Thranduil said. "I have no intention of ever leaving these lands." Galion gave him a sharp look.

"What of your wife? Surly you wish to be reunited with her."

Thranduil sighed heavily. Did he wish to be reunited with Maldris or did he love his people more? Or did he love Tauriel more?

"Maldris made her choice," Thranduil said "And I have made mine."

Galion slammed his now empty cup on the table beside him. "You think leaving you was her choice?"

Thranduil raised his eyebrows as he watched Galion stand and begin to pace around the room. "She chose to be your queen. She chose to love you. She chose to give birth to Legolas and she chose to protect you, but she did not choose to die."

"Dear, Eru," Thranduil said. "It is not me you love. It is her. You love Maldris."

"You and Legolas are all I have left of her!" Galion yelled. "I have watched over you in her stead and now I see you making mistakes. Terrible mistakes. And you are wrong Thranduil Opherion, I do love you, as much as I loved her."

"And what would you have me do?" Thranduil asked.

Galion felt to his knees in front of Thranduil and put a hand on each of his knees. "I would have you do what is right and good, my beloved king."

Thranduil swallowed hard. "And what is that?"

"Keep yourself faithful to her, to Legolas, and to me. If it happens that your flesh has needs then I will see to them in her name." Galion slid his hands from Thranduil's knees up his legs where Thranduil stopped him by putting his hand's over them.

"My Lord," Galion whispered as he held Thranduil's gaze. "There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. But you must understand Tauriel belongs to Legolas and you belong to your wife."

"So it is as I suspected. This is about Tauriel," Thranduil began as Galion moved his face closer.

"She is for Legolas," Galion said firmly. Thranduil narrowed his eyes then turned his head as Galion's lips landed on his cheek.

"I suggest you take your hands from my person," Thranduil began softly. "Lest I give in to the urge to remove them from your wretched body along with your head."

Galion gasped and moved away as Thranduil stood. He grabbed Thranduil's robe to keep him from walking away then used them to stand.

"Tauriel belongs to Legolas," Galion said as he followed Thranduil to the door.

Thranduil glared at Galion who put his hand on the door keep it from being opened. "Tauriel does not love Legolas in that way."

"But she could," Galion began. "If you would quit interfering."

Thranduil took a calming breath. "When the opportunity presented itself she chose a dwarf over Legolas. Had Kili lived, Legolas would have lost her. We all would have."

"But he didn't," Galion said quickly. "And clearly her heart was receptive to love again but you interfered."

"She would never turn to Legolas not in a million life times," Thranduil told Galion who was still barring the door. He paused as if he truly understood that for the first time and a little of the guilt lifted from his shoulders. 

"Then you reduce her to being nothing more than a whore! How can you do that to her? How can you do that to Legolas?" Galion cried out as Thranduil grabbed him by his shirt, spun him and slammed him against the wall with his forearm against Galion's throat.

"I have warned you once. I will not warn you a second time. You will not call Tauriel a whore."

Galion choked as he clawed at Thranduil's silk clad forearm. "It is not I who will be naming her as such. It is not I who will be opening her up to such ridicule. It is you, My King."

"Silence!" Thranduil growled as he pushed harder against Galion's neck. Galion choked and sputtered turning bright red and gasping for air before Thranduil finally released him and stepped back to watch him fall to the floor.

  
"I am warning you!" Galion said as he coughed, panted, and tried to regain his dignity. He managed to stand and brace himself against the door. "As your friend. Your affair with her will come to nothing but ruin!"

Thranduil grabbed Galion's shirt and pulled him from the door before opening it. "You overstep your bounds yet again, Galion. Perhaps you are tired and this season has overtaxed you. We will address this matter when this week is over. Until then, if I am needed, send someone else. If I see your face before I am ready, snow or not, I will have you sent away as far as possible and your name will be forgotten in my halls."

  
Galion dropped his shoulders and hung his head. "Yes, My Lord," he said. Thranduil gave him one last warning look then left, slamming the door behind him and leaving Galion to fall to the floor weeping.

\----

Legolas leaned his head on his arm as he rested his elbow on the window sill. Though winter was unable to hold Imladris in its icy thrall as it did Mirkwood, the weather was still chill and the scenery stark and absent of vibrant color. He sighed heavily and closed his eyes then started as a hand rested on his shoulder.

"Still thinking of her?" Elladan asked as he placed a mug of hot tea on the table in front of Legolas before sitting with his own cup.

"She is never far from my thoughts. I miss her." Legolas looked at Elladan who stared back with a sympathetic gaze very similar to Elrond's, and Elrohir's of course.

"Worse, I have now gathered together the courage and what I hope are the right words and have written her a letter but it cannot be sent." Legolas placed the aforementioned letter on the table and Elladan gave it a curious look.

  
"Though I am not one to intrude on the words of two lovers, may I read it?"

Legolas frowned. "Tauriel and I are not lovers. We never have been."

"Then may I?" Elladan asked again.

"Of course," Legolas answered then turned his gaze back out the window as Elladan unfolded the letter and began to read.

Elladan hummed as he sifted through the three pages that Legolas had spent weeks composing and Legolas shot him a worried glance.

"Perhaps it is just as well that the road to your father's halls have been blocked by the weather. You have most certainly placed your heart in this letter."

"I thought it for the best," Legolas said as he picked up the pages and refolded them.

Elladan took a sip of his tea and waited as Legolas secreted the letter away in one of his pockets before speaking. "I am no expert on the courting of ladies," he began. "But I think it unwise to write your feelings out on paper so baldly. They could very easily be misunderstood."

"Courtship is not a game," Legolas said, affronted. "Besides I was advised to hold back before and how did that end?"

Elladan tilted his head. "You are right. It is not a game. It is a dance and should you misstep you risk crushing any tendrils of possibilities growing between you. I am not advising holding back but I do advise not giving your feelings away in one fell swoop, especially those eliciting your feelings of anger and betrayal."

Legolas shook his head. "Perhaps there was a time I could have performed such a dance but not now."

"Legolas," Elladan said then took a deep breath at the anguished look on his friends face. "It is true what you wrote, that she knew the dwarf only for a very short time, but love is a powerful force. It matters not if it lives long or short, the severing of the bond it creates is painful. You risk wounding her deeply."

  
"You're right," Legolas said as he pulled the letter back out and placed it on the table then looked at it like it was a vicious viper ready to strike.

"Besides," Elladan continued as he picked up the letter then threw it into the fire. "I dare say you have no right to be angry with her for loving her dwarf. There were no lovers words spoken between you, no understanding, no promises."

Legolas' brow furrowed. "Yes, that is true."

"Therefore what loyalty does she owe you?" Elladan asked then nodded as Elrohir walked into the room.

"They loyalty of friendship." Legolas said passionately. "She could have spoken to me on the matter. She could have sought my advice."

Elladan sighed. "So that you could talk her out of committing her heart where it had already gone and risked and pushing her away for all time?"

"Are we speaking of the fair lady, Tauriel?" Elrohir asked as he gave Legolas a sympathetic smile.

Legolas took a deep breath and straighten himself. "Yes," he answered. "I cannot thank the two of you enough for your friendship and support. It must be tedious to listen to me go on about something I have no power to truly address quite yet."

"We understand," Elladan and Elrohir said in unison.

Elrohir looked at his brother a moment then spoke, "It is because you have no power to affect your situation that you spin it through your mind over and over again. Winter will end soon and you can venture home."

"Will you go with me?" Legolas asked. "It would make it a great deal easier with the support of you both."

"Actually," Elrohir began as he shot his brother a quick look. "That's part of why I am here. I was talking to Ada and he is very concerned about your father. He has been having troubling dreams."

Legolas stood. "Do you think something has happened to him? Maybe I should talk to Elrond myself."

"No need," Elrohir said. "Ada believes it can wait. He intends to visit in the spring. We will make a grand progress out of it. And I believe we can persuade Ada to let Estel join us. Legolas smiled, he greatly enjoyed spending time with Elrond's young foster son and would love to show the boy where he'd grown up.

"Speaking of which," Elladan said. "I do believe he's waiting for us at the training ground. His eleventh birthday will be upon us shortly and I promised to help him find a suitable sword."

"And I am to teach him more carving," Legolas said. "And as I won't be in Imladris much longer I should get on that."

  
\----

Tauriel opened the door to Thranduil then frowned at the look of anguish on his face. She let him in and closed and locked her door.

"I take it that your dinner with Galion didn't go well."

"No," Thranduil answered. He had taken a walk before going to see Tauriel. As much as he hated it, Galion's words had struck a cord. He looked at Tauriel then sighed. The choice to betray Legolas had been too easy to make and then there was still the further guilt of betraying his wife and the fact that his people were not likely to accept Tauriel. He couldn't stand it if they labeled her a whore.

  
Tauriel motioned to the chair near the fire. "Sit," she told him. "I have some wine, water, or tea which would you like?"

"Wine if you please," Thranduil said as he sat then leaned forward and put his head in his hands.

Tauriel poured the drink then sat in the chair across from him. He looked up and she handed him the wine. Instead of drinking it he looked down into the cup and frowned.

"Mela en' coiamin," Tauriel said as she took the cup, placed it on the table then climbed into Thranduil's lap. "Tell me what troubles you."

"Tauriel," Thranduil whispered then buried his face in her hair. "Let me hold you. Let me love you. That is all I ask." Tauriel hummed and put her lips against his throat to feel his pulse fluttering against her lips.

"Only if you let me hold and love you in return," she finally said.

"Done," he answered then moved so he could claim her lips with his. "Always."

\---

Tauriel frowned while she watched Thranduil brandish a knife from his person and then reach beneath his hair to cut a lock of it close to his scalp. This was the third day of their week together and she felt the time was moving far too swiftly.

He hadn't left her room since he arrived the first night and while his mood had lightened considerably she was often able to pick up his emotions through the growing bond she had yet to address. He was very troubled and sad. She had tried to question him but he avoided the topic so she let it rest hoping he would confide in her when he was ready

"What are you doing?" she asked as he moved beside her and he gave her a  shy smile. Thranduil, she learned quickly, was very shy, gentle, and sweet once the mantle of king was removed from his shoulders. He wore the crown admirably and she loved him as king, but she found she loved the ellon he was in private oh so much more.

"I am going to braid my hair into yours," he told her then looked down at his hands as he combed through the strands he'd cut from his own head. "Unless you do not wish it."

Tauriel could barely contain the giddy joy or the squeal of happiness that dearly wanted to leap from her throat. "Of course. Please do."

Thranduil gave her a tender smile then put his fingers in her hair. "I will place it just behind your ear," he said his voice barely above a whisper. "It will be hidden so you will not have to explain it."

"Thank you," Tauriel said then she watched Thranduil's expression as he kept his attention on his hands. "Not for hiding it." she amended. "But for doing this." Thranduil lifted his eyes to her and her heart flip flopped. He was so beautiful and he loved her. He was hers.

"It's a dear desire of mine to do this," Thranduil told her. "Now sit still."

Neither spoke until Thranduil had reached the point where Tauriel could turn watch his fingers nimbly working the four strand braid. His fair hair stood out as the center of the braid like a ribbon of silver gold and she adored it. She turned her attention to his face then bit her lip. She wondered how many times he had done this for his wife and a strange twinge of pain pinged he heart.

"Something is bothering you," he said. "I can tell by the way you're holding your breath. Tell me."

Tauriel took another deep breath then said hesitantly. "Did you used to do this for her?"

"No," Thranduil replied quickly. "Maldris never allowed me to braid her hair. Her reasoning was because I was a prince after that I was a king. She had servants to braid her hair if she wished.  
Of course she didn't wear them. She felt that braids signified low rank. Appearances were very important to her. She would point to Lady Galadriel as an example quite often and tell me that royalty does not wear braids."

"Oh," Tauriel said then tried to think of any elves she knew who didn't wear braids in some fashion or another. It was true. Only the king's hair was unadorned. She had never met Lady Galadriel so she couldn't judge her hairstyles.

"Do you feel the same?" Tauriel asked.

"No," Thranduil answered as he continued his work. "I once wore braids as did my father. As you know I do not discourage Legolas from wearing his." Tauriel quieted. She couldn't recall how many times she had placed braids in Legolas' hair. She had never thought of it as something lovers did but now she had to wonder how Legolas felt at the time.

Tauriel watched as he continued to work. "And you still don't wear them."

"Mostly out of habit," Thranduil told her. "And partly because I cannot bear to let someone close enough to do it."

"Oh," Tauriel said but held her tongue and did not question him. Thranduil fastened then lifted her braid and began whispering Quenya words against it; working from the ends up to her scalp.  
  


What are you doing?"

Thranduil didn't answer until he was finished and by then Tauriel's blood was running hot and her skin covered in goosebumps as he whispered the words against her ear. She could admit to herself and even him that she wanted him desperately and she knew he desired her, but other than the heated kisses they shared often, he kept their relationship chaste. He had even refused to show her his wounded side proclaiming that it was healed. 

"Those words will preserve the braid as well as keep it hidden. Even when you wash your hair it will remain pristine," He told her then kissed her softly.

"How long?"

"A month. But I will speak the words again before then," Thranduil answered. Tauriel reached behind her ear to touch the braid then smiled at him as he combed his fingers through her hair.

"Thank you," she said and he smiled and kissed the tip of her nose.

"My pleasure," he said. He paused for a moment before asking, "I know it is much to ask, but may I also have a lock of your hair? Will you braid it into mine?"

Tauriel gave him a wide eyed look. "You want me to braid my hair into yours?" Thranduil chuckled and Tauriel smiled at him.

"If you wish me to beg I will," he said his eyes alight with mischief.

"No need," Tauriel answered then reached for a pair of her sewing shears to cut her hair. "It would be my pleasure."

"I don't know the words to hide and preserve them though," she told him earnestly.

Thranduil caressed the side of her face. "I will teach you."

"But," Tauriel began. "Is it not true that royalty does not wear braids?"

Thranduil chuckled. "No. It is not."

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mela en' coiamin - Love of my life (or so I'm told that's what it means).


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To IronRoseOfRivendell, thank you so much for your help, support, inspiration, and knowledge.
> 
>  
> 
> Song for this chapter - Ludovico Einaudi - Fairytale - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjMKFLVMoeg

Galion paced back and forth in the halls that lead from his quarters down to the common areas and back around to the king's chambers. He knew without checking that Thranduil was not locked up in his room drinking too much wine as was usual. He clenched and unclenched his fists as he stood at the king's door then turned on his heel and began the circuit again.

He had just passed the common area when a soldier from the king's guard stopped him. Galion gave the ellon an inquisitive look and waited to hear what he would say.

"Galion, Sir," he said as he bowed. "May I have a few words with you?"

Galion inclined his head. "Of course."

"In private," the soldier said then cast his eyes to the floor.

Galion gave him a thoughtful look then gestured to the solider. "Follow me. There is an alcove not too far from here where we will not be disturbed." The soldier bowed again and followed him silently until Galion stopped and held back a set of curtains and motioned for him to enter.

"You are Radon, am I correct?" Galion asked as he arranged his robes so he could sit on the marble bench.

"Yes, I served with Captain Tauriel and now with Uron in the King's guard."

"You and Legolas served together for sometime did you not?"

"Indeed I would have considered us friends. Until Tauriel betrayed him and us and he left."

Galion sighed and shook his head. "Yes, the battle left much in disarray, but worry not he will return." He gave Radon a pleasant smile.

Radon shook his head and leaned close to whisper, "That is not the matter concerning me."

"Oh?" Galion asked as he lowered his own voice.

"It is our king, My Lord and Tauriel. She is a traitor to her people. He banished her and yet he accepted her back with no punishment."

Galion narrowed his eyes at Radon. "Tauriel's betrayal and forgiveness is our king's to decide. Her punishment was removal from the guard."  
"Too light a sentence I believe," Radon said as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Nevertheless it is our king's punishment to decide."

"It's more than that!" Radon yelled then calmed himself. "Tauriel has enchanted the king! They are together even now in her quarters. He has forgiven her everything and seeks to make her his queen when his true queen awaits him elsewhere."

"I am aware of their relationship," Galion dropped his voice even lower.

Radon leaned closer and whispered, "And what is being done about it?"

"Do you think Tauriel skilled enough to enchant our king?"

"I have learned the hard way never to underestimate her. Yes. Yes, I do believe she is skilled enough to enchant anyone. First she enchanted Legolas then abandoned him for that dwarve." Radon's face took on an expression of distaste. "That creature she supposedly loved was killed in battle and she has moved on to our king! What true elf's heart is so capricious?"

Galion sighed heavily. "I believe you accuse her of too much, Radon. I have always known Tauriel to be honest and true if not a bit too bold." Radon started to speak but Galion held up his hand.  
"That's not to say that I don't agree with you on the her relationship with the king. It is inappropriate."

"A few like minded elves and I have considered ambushing her and removing her from the wood." Radon began. "We would take her far off and warn her that in returning she would forfeit her life but given her closeness to the king we would need help distracting him."

"And what of Legolas who loves her? Who has the right to win her heart?" Galion asked. "You would see him hurt?"

"What would he want with such a wretch? Even now she is in her room entertaining his father like a common whore!"

Galion stood and put his hand on Radon's arm. "You have misunderstood Tauriel. Taking her from Mirkwood or tarnishing her honor further will come to only ill tidings."  
Radon growled in frustration. "So we are to let her wrap the king around her finger?"

"No," Galion said. "I will come up with a plan to stop them. Can I count on you for your help?"

"If it will protect our king," Radon said. "Yes."

Galion nodded. "I will send for you when I have a plan. But, you must trust me on this and speak of it to no one."

\---  
Tauriel laughed at the expression on Thranduil's face as he took a sip of the tea she set before him.

"This is terrible," he announced as he pushed the cup across the table. "And you drink it?"

"Daily," Tauriel told him as she sliced several pieces of bread, buttered one then passed it to Thranduil. "I am not the king and able to afford tea leaves from far off places."

"Tell me the bread you made will taste better," he said as he eyed it skeptically.

Tauriel laughed then buttered her own bread. "I couldn't promise as much if I had. I didn't make it. Mae did." She laughed as Thranduil took a tentative bite then took his tea cup and replaced it with water.

"No wine?" he asked.

Tauriel shook her head. "It's too early for wine." She tried to walk away but he caught her by the waist and pulled her into his lap.

"Then it seems I've forgotten the time of day. Are you sure it is morning?" He placed a kiss on her neck and Tauriel smoothed back his hair. He forced himself to stay still as his side throbbed as she pressed against it.

"Yes," she said then smoothed her hand down his chest and moved so she wasn't against his wound. "How is your side feeling?"

"I don't care about my side," Thranduil answered as he bit her ear. He loved the way she trembled in his arms.

  
"But it's hurting," Tauriel whispered.

"Not enough for me to care," Thranduil said then frowned and moved Tauriel so he could see her face.

She smiled at him sweetly and rubbed the furrow between his eyebrows. "You don't take care of yourself." Thranduil narrowed his eyes and tilted his head as he watched her face for a moment.

"I have not mentioned my injury once," he told her. "In fact, I've done my best to make you forget about it."

Tauriel laughed. "Not your best," she teased. "Otherwise we would never have left my bed. And while your kisses are sweet and your caresses are tender I hardly think they are enough to distract me."

She pulled at his shirt. "Maybe if you would take this off I wouldn't worry about it at all."

Thranduil took her wandering hands and kissed each palm. "We have time for such things."

"We've had this discussion before," Tauriel told him. "I do not trust time."

"And you have yet to convince me to your point of view," Thranduil said. He laughed as Tauriel wriggled from his lap. He turned in his seat to look at Tauriel then gasped as she dropped the robe she was wearing.

"Tauriel," he warned as he took in the sight of her naked body then swallowed hard. How many times over the last several years had he imagined such a moment? How many times had he had her in his mind? Over and over. He sucked in a shaky breath, and yet now that she was here before him it was required that he maintained his self control, no matter how hard she tested it.

"Thranduil," she said and gave him a wicked smile she moved to stand before him.

  
Thranduil slid his hands up her legs to her hips. "And you are stubborn and intent on getting your way."

  
"It's just I know better than you do in this," Tauriel said then gasped as he leaned forward and kissed her belly button.

"Do you?" he asked his lips against her skin. He slid his hand up to her ribs then frowned and pulled away as he examined her side. "What is this?" he asked.

"Nothing," Tauriel whispered as she put her hands in his hair. "Don't stop touching me Please."

"No," Thranduil said as he eyed the welt on her side. "When did you take this injury?"

Tauriel swallowed hard. "It isn't important."

"And it's still inflamed," Thranduil said as he ran his fingers along the edge of the welt. Tauriel jolted and pulled away.

"Stop trying to distract me," she tried to tease as she met his very serious gaze. She sucked in a deep breath. "You're impossible to seduce."

"Tell me," Thranduil said as his heart fluttered in his throat though he was unsure if it was from fear or excitement. He had seen injuries such as this in those who were closely bonded. He eyed the mark for a moment then speared Tauriel with a questioning look.

Tauriel held his gaze a moment. "I was taking a meal with Mae and I spilled hot tea on myself and..."

"This is no burn," Thranduil stated as he stood. The world spun for Tauriel as she found herself lifted from the floor and seated on her bed. She watched, speechless as Thranduil removed his shirt then focused her gaze on his side. It was still black and blue though the bruises had begun to fade at the edges. The wounded flesh had already knit itself together and yet it still looked sore.

  
"Nor is this," Tauriel said as she reached toward him. He pulled away and she looked up to meet his very stern gaze. She looked down at her hands as if she were a child he was about to be taken to task.

  
"You felt it," Thranduil accused as he lifted her chin and forced her to look at him. "You feel it even now."

"Yes," Tauriel admitted.

Thranduil swallowed hard then turned away from Tauriel. She blinked back the tears then reached for her robe as he walked to the fire.

"And you have been feeling my pain this whole time," he said. "What else do you feel?"

Tauriel sucked in a deep breath. "Not much," she answered as she shrugged into her robe. "Just fleeting feelings."

"Thoughts?"

"No," Tauriel answered. She could feel that he was angry and it made her want to run and hide. And cry. "I didn't do anything to encourage it."

"And you were going to keep this from me?" Thranduil asked though he didn't turn.

Tauriel opened and closed her mouth unsure of how to answer. He turned and looked at her and the sorrow he was feeling washed over her in waves.

"I didn't know what to think of it," she finally said. "I thought it might go away." She winced at the hurt on his face then wrapped her arms around her waist. Thranduil sat in the nearest chair then leaned forward with his head in his hands.

Tauriel bit her lip as she watched him then inched closer and put her hand on his head and began combing her fingers through his hair. He looked up at her and she smiled at him.

Thranduil pushed her away and stood. "It is wrong," he told her as he began to pace the room. "That you should find yourself bound to me in this way."

Tauriel raised her eyebrows. "I rather thought it was the other way around. I can feel you, Thranduil but you cannot feel me. It is you who are bound to me." He stopped and gave her a look of astonishment.

"You're right," he said as his eyebrows furrowed. "I cannot feel anything of you." He held out his hand to her. "Come here. Do you trust me?"

"Yes," Tauriel said as she moved to stand beside him. He produced a sharp knife then pricked the end of her finger. He gave her a questioning look and she laughed.

"You'll have to do it harder than that," she said. She took the knife from his grasp then pricked her finger so it bled. She looked up at him as he watched the blood well up on her fingertip.

"Nothing," he told her.

"What does it matter?" Tauriel asked. "Unless you intended our..." She paused looking for the right words. "Our relationship to be of short duration and this ruins your plans."

Thranduil gave her an incredulous look. "You think I would use you?"

"No!" Tauriel said as she tried to pull her hand from his though he wouldn't let go. "I know you wouldn't. I can feel that you wouldn't. But this has upset and angered you and I can't imagine any other reason why."

Thranduil took her hand and kissed each of her finger tips. "You deserve more," he said not meeting her eyes. "Than half of a bond. Clearly you are open to receiving a bond with me but I..." He closed his eyes. The last thing he wanted to bring up was his marriage. Never in his thousands of years did he think he would regret his wife and yet at this moment he did. He and Maldris had never shared the intense bond Tauriel was exhibiting. He wanted to share in it now but couldn't. It hurt profoundly.

Tauriel put her hand on Thranduil's face. "It doesn't upset me."

Thranduil frowned and shook his head. "I feel as though I am missing something. Perhaps we went about this the wrong way."

"What do you mean?" Tauriel asked then cried out in surprise as Thranduil spun her and she found herself again divested of her robe.

"Do you trust me?" Thranduil asked again and Tauriel raised her eyebrows then laughed.

"Have I not displayed my trust to you already?"

Thranduil lifted her in his arms then laid her on the bed. "Good point. Now be still and let me do this," He gave her sly grin. Tauriel nodded then closed her eyes as his fingertips traced from her neck to her breasts with his lips trailing after.

"Thranduil," she gasped as her fingers found their way into his hair while he nipped at her skin while his hands slid over her breasts.

Tauriel shivered as Thranduil kissed his way past the flat expanse of her stomach then gasped as he hooked one leg over his shoulder and dipped down to nip lightly on her inner thigh. She braced herself on her elbows and watched him curiously.

One could not live for hundreds of years and remain completely ignorant how lovers delighted each other but in this she was confused. She had heard the whispers of soldiers and even paid attention when Mae's mother explained to them both in very clinical terms the pleasures of the flesh. It was not something that their people were given to engage in idly.

It was the ultimate bonding and something which one did only with their beloved. But, what Thranduil was doing as he kissed his way down to her knee and back up wasn't something Tauriel had even considered.

"Thranduil," Tauriel whispered as she fought the temptation to lift her hips in an invitation for a kiss she couldn't imagine he would indulge in and yet she found herself wanting it. She could feel three emotions ebbing from Thranduil. The first was desire, the second was love, and the third was a sort of desperation that threatened to eclipse everything else.

"You are perfect, Tauriel. Do not fear this. Relax," he told her as he parted her legs then dipped his head down to stroke his tongue up and down her silken core.

Tauriel gasped as she flopped back on the bed and arched into his caress. She wound her fists in the bedding as a waves of pleasure jolted through her with each pass of his tongue. When he began

sucking on her tender flesh she thought she was going to come undone, but then he slipped a finger inside her and she melted into a pleasure that had her panting his name over and over.

Thranduil reigned in his self control as Tauriel flooded his senses. He wanted to engage in this simple act forever if only to feel her trembling and listen to her sighs. He wanted more than anything to strip off his own clothes and spend an eternity in her body but he held back and sought out a connection with her far more intimate than making love.

Tauriel felt she was on the cusp of something amazing, something that needed to spill over, but Thranduil drew back each time she reached the summit and kept her from falling over the edge.

"Thranduil," she cried as he continued to deny her release. "Please." Her hands were now wound in his hair and she was torn between forcing him away and pressing him closer. She managed to reach for his feelings and found desperation and frustration.

"I need you," Tauriel told him as she pulled at his hair in an effort to pull him up her body. "Please."

Thranduil stilled at her words and she cried out in frustration. She could feel him mouthing words against her flesh but it wasn't enough and then suddenly his tongue was against her again as his finger curled inside her. Before she could comprehend what was happening she was pushed to the peak she had been straining toward then tumbled down into release while warmth spread from her center in waves of pleasure so intense she thought she would die of it.

Before she could gather her thoughts to ask questions, Thranduil had pulled himself up to her mouth and was kissing her long and deep. She thought she would be repulsed by the taste of her on his tongue but she wasn't. All she knew was she wanted that feeling again and again and again and more.

"I'm sorry," Thranduil said as he put his forehead against hers and waited for Tauriel to catch her breath.

"Why?" Tauriel asked as she nuzzled him with her nose. She would have begged for him to complete her but she thought better than to ask as he trembled against her.

"You are amazing, Melamin. And you deserve so very much more." He swallowed hard and fought the growing pain in his chest. He was hoping that such intense feeling and emotion would reveal in him the same bond she had formed with him, and yet he found himself empty and alone.

He closed his eyes in an effort to keep the tears prickling at his eyelids from spilling. It was unfair and wrong that Tauirel should feel such a bond and he did not. She deserved more. She deserved a full bond with someone who adored her, yet the thought of her with anyone else made him feel sick and angry.

"Thranduil," she whispered and held him as he buried his face in her neck.

He could nor more let her go than he could chop off his own arm. He loved her so dearly and so deeply that he wanted to give her everything and unfortunately he had already given that to Maldris and clearly no further bonds would form. His heart writhed in shame. He shouldn't have allowed this. He should have pushed her toward Legolas.

"I didn't and don't want Legolas," she whispered in his ear. Her words broke him.

"Hush," Tauriel said as he continued to shake. "I told you once. I don't need anymore than you are able to give me. If all we have is this half bond between us, then it is more than I had dared hope for."

"My beautiful, sweet Tauriel," he said against her ear. "Please don't doubt that I love you."

Tauriel laughed as she held him tight. "There is no way I can doubt it. I can feel it."

Thranduil kissed her softly. "Let me show you," he said. They spent hours in each other's arms where he brought her to the edge and over countless times, but would not, much to her frustration, let her reciprocate as he remained shirtless but otherwise clothed.

Tauriel lay in his arms sleepy and yet yearning for more. She wasn't sure if the deep need her body was feeling was coming from him or if it was herself. She gave him a sleepy smile and snuggled against him.

"Let me touch you," she whispered against his neck as her hand slid down his back. "Or better yet..."

"No," Thranduil said sharply as he caught her wandering hand. "No. We have time."

Tauriel shook her head. "We could have ten thousand years and I doubt it will be enough."

Thranduil sat up, picked up his shirt from where it had fallen and shrugged it on. "Your friends are likely worried about you."

"They won't disturb us," Tauriel said as she sat up. She frowned as she watched Thranduil make himself presentable.

"But you should see to them nevertheless," he said as he tucked his shirt into his leggings. "I have a few things I need to attend to. We will meet for dinner."

Tauriel bit her lip as tears stung her eyes. He was actively trying to block his emotions from her and it hurt.

"Fine," she said as she rose from the bed. She dressed herself quickly then was brushing her hair before turning to look at Thranduil who was watching her with a sullen look on his face.

"May I brush your hair for you or is my touch repulsive to you?" Tauriel asked.

Thranduil frowned at her then sat. "You may straighten my hair."

"Oh thank you for the honor, My Lord," she said sarcastically. He didn't reply. He was as distant from her as a star in the night sky.

She smoothed the tangles from his hair as she continually blinked back tears. "Done," she said coolly.

"I will return," he told her then left the room without looking back. Tauriel dropped the brush on the table then sat and let herself cry wondering what she had done wrong. Her sadness only lasted so long before it was replaced by anger. She decided she would give him a little time and then she would go after him. It was too late for him to hold back now and she wouldn't stand for it.  
\----

"Wine and bath," Thranduil ordered as he walked into his chambers. Servants scattered to do his bidding as he fled to his bedroom.

He began removing his clothing then frowned as he realized he left his boots with Tauriel. He sighed heavily and finished disrobing all the while mentally building a wall in his mind to protect Tauriel from his emotions.

  
A knock sounded on his door alerting him that his bath was ready. He slipped on a light blue silk robe, grabbed a bottle of wine because he knew they supplied him with only one glass at most, then made his way to the bathing chamber.

  
"I do not want to be disturbed. Allow no one through this door unless it is a matter of life and death," he ordered before slamming the door behind him.  
He downed two glasses of wine in quick succession before dropping his robe and wading into the steaming water. He winced as the hot water stung his side but was soon leaning back in the water with his eyes closed as he desperately tried to center himself.

"Please, Eru be merciful," he growled then dunked himself completely beneath the water. His mind refused to stray from the image of Tauriel naked before him or from the feel and taste of her. It was maddening.

  
"I should have ordered a cold bath," he mused aloud then sighed as he moved to pour himself another glass of wine before relaxing again in the water.

It took one more glass of wine for him to begin to relax and even then he mentally berated himself. If he had known this could happen... He squeezed his eyes tight. Would he have stayed away from her?

"No," he admitted to himself, but he would have been more careful. He had been alone for so long. He had needed no one and nothing but his people. They needed and deserved a strong, stable king. He had been too selfish.

The thought that Tauriel could feel his emotions and pain was all at once terrifying and wonderful. For the first time someone would fully understand how he felt, would understand the burden, the loneliness, sorrow, and pain he'd born all these years and yet he was terrified. Tauriel was so young, full of life, laughter, hope and joy. She deserved more than the damaged king who loved her more than life itself whose desire was to lock her away and horde all her attention and love. He shivered as he admitted it to himself. He could never be without her now.

"Tauriel," he sighed. It would have been glorious if he had allowed her to touch him. He imagined her fingers against him, so delicate and nimble. She would give him a wicked smile and kiss him. He let his hand wander down seeking to relieve the need he'd held back while she was in his arms as he whispered her name over and over until he was spent.

He left the water and his wine. Wrapped himself in his robe and made for his room where he stumbled still wet into the icy air and crawled onto the bed and did not move further.  
\----

"Thranduil!" Tauriel yelled as she marched into his chambers. She had been driven from her room and the space she was going to give him by a chill deep within that the fire in her room couldn't warm.

"The king does not wish to be disturbed," a guard told her as he tried to bar her way.

Tauriel set her gaze on the guard. "I don't care what he wishes. I will see him now." The guard who knew Tauriel very well and had been bested by her more than a dozen times on the training field stepped back to let her pass. Better the king's wrath than a beating from Tauriel he decided.

"Thranduil!" Tauriel shouted as she burst into his bedroom then stopped to survey the king curled up on his icy bed. She rolled her eyes and took a deep breath before stomping to the fire place.

Once the fire was roaring she closed and fastened all the heavy curtains then walked out into the hall. "Hot tea," she ordered.

"Go away, Tauriel," Thranduil ordered as she pulled the sodden covers from beneath him.

"Where do you keep your blankets?" she asked and he guestured across the room. Tauriel rolled her eyes as she searched the chest for fresh blankets then dumped them on the bed.

"You are a fool," she said. "Trying to freeze yourself to death. Your hair is forming icicles. Idiot!"

Thranduil remained quiet as she fussed around him. She gave him a warning look as servants arrived with a pot of hot tea. They took one look at the king with his icy hair, wrapped in blankets then looked at Tauriel in horror.

"Perhaps a hot bath would thaw him," the servant suggested. Tauriel looked at Thranduil who looked back belligerently.

"If he doesn't warm I will call you," Tauriel said then dismissed the servant who bowed then walked away.

"I don't want you here," Thranduil told her as she poured a cup of tea.

"I don't care what you want," Tauriel replied. "And you're a liar. You do want me here." Thranduil grunted and Tauriel handed him the tea. He looked at the cup then at her and turned his head.

"Fine," Tauriel said as she pulled off her shoes. "Then I'll just climb in bed with you."

"Oh you'd like that wouldn't you," Thranduil said.

"No," Tauriel answered. "I'd rather not bed down with an ice cube thank you very much. Scoot over."

"No."

Tauriel sucked in the corners of her mouth then walked around to the other side of the bed and climbed in. She looked at Thranduil who glared back.

"I won't push you anymore," Tauriel finally said. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

Thranduil said nothing but Tauriel let out a sigh of relief as his hand sought hers. They sat silently for sometime before Thranduil turned to her.

"You did not upset me," he said. "It is the situation. You are more to me than an elleth to take to bed."

Tauriel smiled as she rubbed her fingers over his knuckles. "I know that."

"Perhaps you know it, but others do not. I would not have you accused of being my whore."

Tauriel sighed as she held Thranduil's gaze. "What happens between you and I is our business. Others are going to speculate and come to the wrong conclusions. We cannot stop idle talk."

"Then we should stop this," Thranduil told her then looked down at their joined hands. "Before it's too late."

"It's already too late. You already promised..." Tauriel paused then smiled slightly. "You already promised."

"What is it?" Thranduil asked as Tauriel moved to straddle his hips.

"You made me a promise of forever and yet I have not offered the same."

Thranduil raised his eyebrows and she put her hand on his face. "I promise," she started.

"Wait," Thranduil said as he put his hand on her mouth. "There are things you don't know. Things I've not shown you." Tauriel shook her head and moved his hand.

"I don't know if it's possible to promise you forever. I can promise you ten thousand years. Then we will see after that."

"Ten thousand years is hardly enough," Thranduil told her then kissed her fingers. "I'd rather you promised me forever."

"Forever then. I promise," Tauriel said then bit her lip and gave him a worried look.

"Forever," he sighed then pulled her toward him and kissed her. "And you will let me court you properly?"

Tauriel growled then nodded her head. "You're right. We have time."  
\---

Mae looked up from her sewing as Tauriel walked into the room. She gave her a sly smile then returned her focus back to her work.

"How was your week with the king?" she finally asked.

  
Tauriel picked up a needle and began threading it. "Too short. I miss him already."

Mae smiled and shook her head. "As if you won't see him this evening."

"As if you never miss Uron," Tauriel teased.

"True," Mae said. The two friends were silent while they sewed.

"Tell me," Mae began as she broke the silence. "What is he like in private? I always imagine him as incredibly polite and formal."

Tauriel smiled as she looked up at her friend. "He's kind and sweet. Sometimes he's very shy."

"Shy?" Mae asked.

"Yes and very caught up in the old ways."

Mae laughed. "Well he is ancient, Tauri. How old is he? Forty thousand years old?"

"Not as old as that!" Tauriel laughed. "I'm not sure. I've never asked. He was several thousand years old before Legolas was born."

"Legolas is almost three thousand! We are not much past five hundred! He is likely five thousand." Mae said and shook her head. "The king has lifetimes more experience than you."

"In being king perhaps," Tauriel said. "But there are things he is so innocent about."

Mae raised her eyebrows. "Such as."

"Such as none of your business," Tauriel told her friend. Mae gave her a teasing grin and Tauriel rolled her eyes.

They sewed silently for awhile before Tauriel asked. "Have you and Uron..." she paused then blushed. "Nevermind."

Mae gave her a wide eyed look. "Have we what?"

"I said never mind."

"No," Mae prodded. "You asked a question. Have we what?"

"More than kissed?" Tauriel asked then flushed bright red as she jammed her needle into the fabric.

"Of course not," Mae said after a long time. "Have you?"

Tauriel whose blush had just faded flushed again and she shook her head. "But.. But.. Does he inspire you?"

"To what?" Mae asked then smirk.

"Want more?" Tauriel asked then frowned at Mae who was still smirking at her.

"Oh yes," Mae answered. "But we are to be married this summer so the wanting will not have to wait much more."

Tauriel nodded and bit her lip. "But he has been courting you for at least fifty years and you never once?"

Mae looked over her shoulder to be sure no one was listening. "Fine. Yes. Yes all the time. We more than kiss all the time. Are you happy now?" It was her turn to flush bright red. She grumbled to herself as she continued to sew and Tauriel laughed.  
\---

Galion watched Thranduil writing letters at his desk before stepping forward. "I'm here to remind you of your council meeting."

Thranduil looked up from his letter. "One moment," he said as he finished writing then stood.

"Do you want these delivered?" Galion asked as he reached for the already sealed letters. "I can see to them while you're in the meeting."

"Of course," Thranduil said. "After the meeting I'm expected to survey the green houses and the gardens. I hear tell that sprouts have already begun to appear."

Galion smiled. "A much welcome sign after the winter we've had."

"I'm eager to leave these halls." Thranduil said. "I'd like to do a survey of the wood and see what damage the snows have wrought. Early next week perhaps."

"I will see to the arraignments."

Thranduil put his hand on Galion's shoulder as he walked by. "Thank you." Galion's response was nothing more than a bow and then to turn and watch his king walk from the room. He waited for several minutes before walking to the desk and sitting.

Galion pulled a sheet of parchment from a near by drawer, picked up the pen Thranduil had left sitting in the ink well and began writing.

"Dear Elrond," he said aloud as he began to write. He was halfway into the letter when someone knocked on the door. He jolted guiltily then remembered that he'd sent for Radon.

"My lord," Radon said then bowed as Galion opened the door for him.

"Thank you for coming," Galion said. "I have put a great deal of thought into the problem we discussed a few weeks ago and I believe I've come to the perfect solution."

"We were afraid you'd forgotten," Radon admitted. "I was going to come to you and warn you that we were going to go ahead with our plan as you've offered no other alternative."

Galion sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. "My plan is a much better alternative. It will leave Tauriel alive and in the wood but seperate her from the king with percision."  
Radon raised his eyebrows. "And that plan is?"

Galion began to pace as he spoke. "It is nearly spring and the rivers have only begun to thaw. The enchanted river, while dangerous would not be as potent as usual."

Radon gave Galion a sharp look. "Are you proposing that we dump Tauriel, former captain of the guard into the enchanted river? You think it would be that simple or believable?"

"It will be an accident," Galion assured Radon. "She slipped and fell. You and your fellows tried to rescue her. You were lucky you were able to fish her out without further casulty. As for getting her in the river, tie her up."

Radon shook his head. "And what if she never awakens?"

"As I said, the winter thaw should weaken the enchantment and to ensure she wakes I am sending a letter to Lord Elrond expressing my concern for our king's health and begging him to visit and bring Legolas. He is skilled enough to bring her from an enchanted slumber."

Radon frowned. "And how do you propose we get permission for Tauriel to go out with us?"

Galion smiled. "You ask her. Flatter her and tell her that it is her expertise you desire. She will then approach the king. He will want to deny her but he won't."

"And you think it will be that easy?"

"Yes," Galion said. "I do."

"And if it's not?" Radon asked. "If he won't allow her to go despite her demands?"

Galion's expression darkened. "Then you will take her against her will and we will lead our king to believe she defied his orders and left with you anyway. It is something she would do."

Radon thought for a moment then nodded his head. "It is a good plan. I think my friends will agree. When do you want to do this?"

"Next week the thaw will be at it's peak and that will give Lord Elrond and Legolas time to reach these halls. I will send you word when to begin. I'll leave all the planning in your capable hands."

"Very well," Radon said as he bowed. "Thank you for your help."

"It is I who should be thanking you." Galion put his hand on Radon's arm as the soldier turned to leave. "If something happens to her, Radon and she does not come back alive I will see you punished for plotting against our king."

Radon bowed low. "Understood. She will be unharmed save for the slumber of the enchanted river."


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter I allude to some of the intricacies of the Tolkien universe - Those things being the lesser ring of power Thranduil wears and magic. Also, you will all recall that I am operating on the Tolkien timeline instead of the Peter Jackson movie timeline.
> 
> This fic and this chapter is dedicated to IronRoseofRivendell who has been the greatest help in treading the paths of Tolkien lore and you all have her to thank for this story having a little more depth than it may have had otherwise.
> 
> Song for this chapter - Sade - By Your Side - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8QJmI_V3j4

"Use the point of the blade for the finer detail," Legolas said as he sat beside Estel as they each carved their version of a horse. He smiled at the human child then looked up as Elrond approached.

"Good day," he said cheerfully. "Estel has picked up my lessons very quickly."

Elrond gave Legolas a slight smile then reached out and put his hand on Estel's head. "I am pleased with your dedication, Estel. I would like to speak with Legolas on an important matter. Would you leave us?"

"Yes, Lord Elrond," Estel said as he jumped from his seat he started to leave then turned. "May I go see Elladan and Elrohir?" Elrond nodded.

"Thank you," Estel said then bowed to Legolas. "And thank you, Legolas for the lesson."

Legolas bowed then watched the boy run off. "He is a remarkable person," Legolas said.

"More than you know," Elrond replied. "But Estel is not the matter at hand." He produced a letter from his pocket.

"I received word from your father's assistant, Galion this morning."

Legolas' open expression shuttered. "But no word from my father?"

Elrond tilted his head and passed the letter to Legolas. "You can read it for yourself. I will admit that I have been aware that something was amiss for sometime but I hoped the matter would wait until spring had completely thawed winter."

Legolas' brow furrowed as he read the letter. When he was finished looked up at Elrond. "I shouldn't have left him."

"You did what you felt was right," Elrond said. "There is no need to punish yourself over something you have no ability to change. Perhaps in the future you will weigh consequences more carefully."

"Thank you for your wisdom, Lord Elrond. I take it you are going to join me? When would you like to leave?"  
Elrond took the letter as Legolas handed it back. "There is no better time to begin a journey than morning. Tomorrow early. Does that suit you?"

"Very well," Legolas said. "Thank you. Will you allow Elladan and Elrohir to join us? And Estel? I've talked so much of the halls where I grew up and promised I would show him."

Elrond frowned. "I would prefer keep him here where his safety is insured. I worry that the wood is too dangerous."

"But he will have Elladan, Elrohir and I to protect him," Legolas said.

"And I don't believe your father would take too kindly to a human in his halls."

"It wouldn't be the first time and he likely won't even notice."

Elrond shook his head. "This isn't a leisurely visit, Legolas. My very being tells me we are walking into a terrible situation. There will be another time when he can visit."

Legolas nodded his head. "Then I bow to your wisdom."  
\---

Tauriel had just finished training with Mae, who had already gone back to the sewing room, and was putting away her padding and gloves when Radon approached her.

"May I speak with you?" he asked. Tauriel frowned as she kept her attention on her gloves while she pulled them off her hands.

"I am surprised you wish to," she replied. "If you have not been avoiding me and you've ignored my greetings."

Radon bowed his head. "Please forgive me Tauriel. I was angry. I've been angry with you. I'm certain you can understand. But I've found that I have missed our easy friendship and our brisk training sessions. I learned a great deal from you. I thought we could talk together and perhaps we can come to an understanding."

Tauriel gave Radon a warm smile. "I've missed you also. Your distance has been painful as I thought we were such good friends. I've hoped that you would give me an opportunity to explain myself."

"I have watch tonight. Can you come keep me company as you used to do? We can use the opportunity to renew our friendship."

"I would like that," Tauriel said. "What hour is your watch?"

"The four after dinner hour," Radon answered. "You don't have plans do you?"

Tauriel smiled. "I can find an hour or two to spend with a dear friend of mine." Radon returned her smile.

"I'll see you later. Until then have a good day."

"You as well," Tauriel said then watched as Radon walked away. She smiled to herself and finished putting her equipment away. She had just turned to leave when Uron appeared in the door way.

"Was Radon talking to you?" he asked as he looked around for the elf in question. "What did he say?"

Tauriel put her hand on Uron's shoulder as she walked past him. "Nothing to worry about. He wishes to renew our friendship. Nestion thought he would come back around and he was right."

"Nestion?" Uron frowned then shook his head. "I paired the two of you together during the scouting mission in hopes that he would ease his stance against you but he talks very bitterly of you, Tauri."

"No," Tauriel said as she shook her head. "He was very friendly toward me during the mission. He told me to take heart, that he understood my motives and was still my friend."

Uron gave her a worried look. "Something is amiss, Tauri."

"Nestion has never been anything but a good friend to me. You must be mistaken." Tauriel searched her memory of any confrontations between her and Nestion and found nothing.

Uron looked around then motioned to Tauriel to walk with him. "Nestion had a great affection for you but when it became clear that you and Legolas were close he changed. I thought perhaps because he lost the opportunity to gain your attention."

Tauriel was silent for awhile. "How long as he been angry with me?"

Uron shrugged. "Several years at least. I knew he was civil to you and would never see harm come to you, but I didn't know he was masquerading to you as a close friend."

"Not really close, just good," Tauriel replied as she blinked back the tears prickling her eyes and held back the urge to confront Nestion as she clenched her fists.

"Anyway this has nothing to do with Radon wanting to renew our friendship." She paused. "Unless Radon is also showing me two faces?"

"I don't know about Radon. It won't hurt to talk to him but step carefully," Uron warned. Then patted Tauriel's arm. "I'll walk you back. I'd like to see Mae." Tauriel nodded and followed.  
\---

Thranduil looked up from the book he was reading as Tauriel walked into his sitting room and stood quickly so he could cross the room to meet her. As always he was without his crown, robes and all jewelry.

"You're upset," he said as he took in the expression on her face then enclosed her in his embrace as she threw her arms around him. He smoothed his hands along her back then guided her to sit with him.

"Talk to me, Melamin," he urged as she burrowed into his embrace.

Tauriel took a shaky breath. "I learned today that someone I thought was my friend is not truly my friend when my back is turned. He has been speaking ill of me for some time."

"The fool," Thranduil told her then kissed her hair. "Who is he? I will see that he is given the most hated of duties."

Tauriel shook her head. "That wouldn't be right or fair."

"I don't care about right or fair when it comes to you," Thranduil admitted as he slid his hand up and down her back. "Now tell me who it is. He clearly cannot be trusted in my guard."

Tauriel pulled away from Thranduil and smiled. "Your reaction is enough to make it better. Thank you for being willing to defend me."

Thranduil gave her a serious look. "I will not allow you to be hurt."

"And you cannot protect me from everything nor can you make everyone like me. As I said, it is enough that you care. Besides, I do have the opportunity to see to the repair of a different friendship. Tonight after dinner a friend has watch and I'm going to speak with him for a bit."

"After dinner?" Thranduil asked as a frown settled on his face and Tauriel smiled. He did not want to give up any of his time with her. Admittedly he had business he needed to attend to and visits he needed to make and had been neglecting a few duties since Tauriel began spending every evening with him.

"Only for an hour or so and then I will return to you." Thranduil gave her a warning look and she smiled as she smoothed his furrowed eyebrows with her finger.

"And then you will tell me who this two faced friend is. It's not Uron or Mae is it?"

Tauriel's eyes widened. "Of course not! Uron and Mae are family to me. I would trust them with my life. I would trust them with yours."

"Mine?" Thranduil said then smiled.

Tauriel leaned toward him and kissed his cheek. "I trust you with no one but myself."

"And Mae and Uron," Thranduil teased. "But I assure you the rest of my army is just as reliable. Also, I am quite good at defending myself. Perhaps you should meet me in the training ground so I can prove myself to you." He found the idea of a fight with her alluring, to feel the heat of her anger without repercussions. It had been long since he had seen Tauriel at her fiercest.

Tauriel's eyes widened and she shook her head. "I could never presume to have your skill with the blade, besides I can't even imagine the scene it would create never mind the gossip."

Thranduil laughed. "Is it not you who tells me not to worry what other's think?"

"There is not caring and then there is being reckless," Tauriel said as she twined their fingers together. "One is wise and the other is foolish."

"Says the elfling to her king," Thranduil teased then gasped as Tauriel pinched him.  
\-----

Radon smiled as Tauriel appeared at the gate an hour into his watch. "I was afraid you weren't going to show up."

"I had a few things to attend to," Tauriel said. "And I brought some tea, good tea in fact, to share with you"

"What's good tea?" Radon asked as he arched one eyebrow skeptically. "That weak leaf water you and Mae always drink?"

Tauriel smiled as she poured a cup for Radon. "This is a little better."

Radon sipped at the tea Tauriel handed him and smiled. "It is good."

"Didn't I tell you?" she asked as she jumped up onto the wall and looked into the darkness.

"Everything has been quiet," Radon told her. "But there is some activity toward the west. I can hear it sometimes."

"Like what?" Tauriel asked as she kept scanning the trees while Uron drank his tea. A sad sense of nostalgia hit her. Before she had always hated the inactivity of watch, but now she found that she missed it.

Radon took a long drink of his tea then shifted in his position on the wall. "Toward the enchanted river," he said.

"I think they are trying to damage the bridge."

"Orcs?" Tauriel asked not turning from the trees to look at Radon.

"Can you not smell them?" Tauriel shook her head as she focused on the forest. The scent of it made her heart ache. She missed the trees. She missed freedom to run and climb, to see the sky and be wild.

"I smell melting frost and green growing things," she said. "No orcs, goblins or spiders."

Uron sniffed the air. "The wind is blowing in the wrong direction." Tauriel gave him a thoughtful look and the pair stood together in silence watching the trees for a long moment..

"I wanted to ask forgiveness," Radon began. "I have spoken ill of you and treated you ill since the battle."

Tauriel frowned as she narrowed her eyes at the darkness. "Why did you not come and talk to me? I would have explained everything to you."

"What?" Radon asked as he crossed his arms over his chest. "That instead of one of our people you chose to love a hairy, little dwarve?"

Tauriel shot him a sharp look. "Firstly, Radon. One does not choose who they love. If that were so love would be a far less complicated thing. I did not choose to love Kili and he was a person. A person with people who loved him. A mother and a brother.

"He had hopes, dreams, and a beautiful soul. I loved him very much and it's unfair of you..." She paused and took a deep calming breath. "It's unfair of you to insult him or make assumptions based on something you know nothing about!"

"I asked you here so I could make an effort to understand," Radon said quickly. "But you need to see things through my eyes too. How it felt like a betrayal. Those dwarves in their greed pushed us into a battle that cost us many precious lives. They woke a dragon that nearly destroyed a village of men. They called down an army of orcs and goblins on us all and you abandoned us for them. Surely you understand why I was upset."

"Was or are?" Tauriel asked as she eyed Radon.

"Was," Radon said then took a deep breath. "And worse, Tauriel it seems like you were able to forget him so easily. Your dwarve I mean."

"You're talking about my friendship with the king," Tauriel stated.

"Among other things, such as we all know Legolas has been in love with you forever." Radon answered. Tauriel nodded her head.

"You don't know anything about my life, the king's, Kili's or even Legolas'. You just make assumptions and hold prejudices against me because of them."

"You don't make the offer to clear the air either," Radon accused.

"I shouldn't have to!" Tauriel yelled then calmed herself. "How is it that Mae and Uron understand but everyone else does not?"

Radon shook his head. "I don't know Tauriel, but I'm trying to. It is just, since Autumn, you haven't seemed at all like an elf."

Tauriel opened and closed her mouth a moment. "Well I am," she said. "Just because I make different choices than you would doesn't invalidate my value as a person nor does it change who or what I am."

"I know," Radon replied softly. "It has simply been difficult to understand the difference. I'm sorry I didn't make the effort to understand before and I'm sorry if I've hurt you."

"Thank you," Tauriel said. "I forgive you also."

Radon smiled and bowed then turned his attention back to the forest. "Thank you for coming to talk with me. I appreciate the gesture."

"Thank you for inviting me," Tauriel said. "It's been nice being out here again."

Radon nodded. "You miss being part of the guard?"

"Very much. I long to be out among the trees, especially now that spring is about to begin. I love watching the forest come to life after it's long slumber."

"Maybe Uron can convince the king to go with you on another mission. Maybe with us to check on the river."  
Tauriel's eyes lit up. "Maybe. It would be a short mission, half a day at most."

"I will bring my concerns to Uron," Radon said. "I'll suggest you come with us."

"That would be wonderful, Radon. Thank you."

Radon gave her a brilliant smile. "It's my pleasure."  
\----

Thranduil had not yet returned when Tauriel entered his sitting room. She built up the fire then turned to see a servant appear at the door.

"Is there anything I can get you, My Lady?" The servant asked.

"Call me Tauriel, and some wine for when the king returns." The servant bowed then left and returned with a carafe of wine and two glasses.

"Thank you," Tauriel said as she watched the servant set them on the table.

The servant bowed then turned to leave the room. She stopped before she left the room. "May I speak?" she asked.

"Of course," Tauriel answered then swallowed hard as a rush of nerves made her skin flush hot.

The servant kept her eyes on the floor as she spoke, "I have been in service to the king since after his wife died. He has been unhappy in all that time. Lately I've seen a change in him. He smiles. He is kinder. He is happier. I wanted to thank you for whatever you have done to lift the shadow of sorrow from his shoulders."

Tauriel bit her lip unsure of what to day. "I have only offered my friendship."

"He loves you," the servant said and Tauriel blushed. "Please my lady, please do not hurt him. We are, we servants I mean, are not warriors nor are we kin slayers, but we will see you put down should you break him."

Tauriel opened and closed her mouth. She would tell this elf that she also loved the king but confessing it to this servant without speaking to Thranduil felt wrong.

"I would rather die than hurt him," she finally said. The servant smiled, bowed then left the room. Tauriel, feeling shaken sat down on the nearest chair with a thump and didn't look up again until Thranduil returned.

He was beautiful, wearing his silver circlet on his head and shrouded in golden and crimson robes. Tauriel's eyes widened as he moved toward her then looked at the beringed hand he held out to her.

"Tauriel?" he asked when she didn't take it.

"H-how did your visits go?" she asked stiltedly as she cast her eyes down to his boots. She didn't dare look at him in all his kingly glory.

Thranduil knelt beside her and lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. He frowned as she shivered and blushed. "Everything went exactly as I expected. Did something happen?"

"I am not used to seeing you thus," she finally said as she met his gaze. "My meetings with you dressed as you are were always unpleasant."

Thranduil gave her a considering look then stood and offered his hand to her. "Come with me," he said. Tauriel took his hand and he pulled her from her seat and whisked her off to his bedroom and from there his dressing room.  
Tauriel's eyes were wide as she took in her surroundings. The dressing table, the rows and rows of robes on wooden hangers, a jewelry table that held his winter crown. The room was large, decadent with chairs of white and gold brocade, red velvet benches, and more robes, slippers, boots and clothing than she'd ever seen in one place, and she worked as of late as a seamstress.

"If this is supposed to make me feel more comfortable," she began as she cast her eyes down to the rugs layered on the floor. "It is not working."

"Come here," Thranduil said then shrugged out of his robe, leaving it to billow onto the chair behind him. He gave her a smile of encouragement as Tauriel walked toward him.

He bent toward her and motioned for her to take the silver circlet from his head and so she did, carefully. "Now my pin," he said. When she was done he took them from her and placed them on a nearby table.

"My rings," he said as he held out a hand. Tauriel hesitated but began sliding the rings from the fingers of his left hand then placing them in a simple silver bowl on his dressing table.

"Careful," he said as he offered her his right hand. "The silver ring with the white stone, save it for last." Tauriel looked at him and nodded. She put all the rings save the one on his index finger into the silver bowl then looked at him expectantly.

Thranduil took a deep breath as he slipped the ring from his finger. Then held it out for Tauriel to take. "Careful," he warned. "Do not put it on, especially if you are tempted."

Tauriel gave him a questioning look as she held out her cupped hand and let Thranduil drop it into her palm. She frowned at the unexpected weight of it and the terrible dark feeling crawling up her arm. The ring vibrated subtly but not in a pleasant way at all.

"What is this?" she asked as she wrinkled her nose.

"A lesser ring of power," Thranduil answered as he took it from her and placed it in the silver bowl.

"What is a lesser ring of power?" Tauriel asked as Thranduil sat and removed his boots.

"It is a corrupt and terrible thing that extracts a great and terrible price for it's use," he said without looking at her. "Someday, I'll explain it fully I'll show you what it has done to my fae and dare you to still love me after."  
Tauriel frowned then watched as Thranduil turned. "I am laced in at the back," he told her. "Help me please."

"Only since you said please," she said trying to lighten the mood as she pulled at the laces. Thranduil removed the long golden threaded tunic he wore then turned to her.

"See," he told her as she put her hand on his bare arm. "Beneath all the trappings you'll find I am still the same."

"Maybe," Tauriel said as she smoothed her hand over his skin. She found it impossible not to touch him but managed to keep her hands bushing along his shoulders and arms and not his chest, stomach and sharp hip bones.

"Really it doesn't matter how you are dressed, you are still king. You are right it doesn't change you. I just.. I just forget."

"I want you to forget," Thranduil told her. "Do I not deserve to by times be nothing more than the one who loves you?"

Tauriel smiled. "Of course."

"Tell me," Thranduil began slipped on cream colored shirt and Tauriel sighed as she was deprived of the sight of him. "How was your meeting?"

"We are friends again," she answered. "Uneasy friends, but it is a start." She looked around the room and shook her head.

"Why do you have so many clothes?" she asked as she walked around him and ran her hand along the numerous robes. Some she recognized some she did not.

Thranduil watched her for a moment. "Mae's parents are responsible for much of what you see. I am frequently gifted fine fabrics and it would be rude not to put them to use or to discard them and I certainly cannot wear them all."

Tauriel gave him a teasing look as she continued walking along the line of clothing. He followed her, watching as she touched a garment here and there or pulled one out to examine it further.

"Some of these are terribly old," she said. "And you keep every last one?"

"Until they fall to dust," Thranduil answered. Most of them had spells woven through them to keep them from wearing out.

He didn't want to walk with her to the back of the closet and frowned as she stopped at a long span of plain black robes. She pulled on the sleeve of one to look at the sliver lining then frowned as she realized these were mourning clothes.

"When did you stop wearing these?" she called. He was no longer beside her. He didn't answer and she turned to see him waiting at the front of the room near his dressing table. She looked deeper into the closet for a moment then stopped herself.

Did he not want to follow her because his wife's clothes were farther back? She took a deep breath as she realized the last thing she wanted to see were his wives clothes. It would make her more than just a ghost and even her ghost was the last thing Tauriel wanted to face.

"I'm done," Tauriel said as she walked back to where Thranduil was waiting. "You have too many clothes."

"Yes," he answered then walked to the door. "And now I am thirsty. Wine?"

"Please," Tauriel agreed and followed him.  
\----

Later that evening after they had parted ways and he had tucked himself into bed. Thranduil found himself walking through long empty hallways of a frequent dream. He paused as a sense of dread filled his entire being.

"Thranduil," he heard her voice call and he wanted to run the other way.

"A'maelamin," she called in a gentle sing song voice. "Come to me." Thranduil took several steps into the darkness as he reached out using walls as guidance.

"I cannot find you," he answered. "I am lost."

"Thranduil! Please. Hurry," she called. "Before it's too late." With those words he began running - though his mind begged him to turn around and go back the way he came.

After running for what seemed like years he finally burst into a room lit only by a fire in its center. She stood with her back to him, her hair glowing gold in the firelight.

"I am here," he said though he stayed in the door way.

"Closer, Thranduil. Come closer."

He took a few halting steps forward then stopped. "Maldris," he whispered. "Why are you here?"

"Faithless," she hissed though she did not turn to face him. "You are faithless, my dear husband."

Thranduil winced. "Please understand," he began. "I only ask for release..."

"Never!" Maldris yelled as she turned and Thranduil was presented with the horror of her burning visage.

"Why?" she asked as she walked toward him, encompassed in flame. "Why? Why would you betray me?"

"No," Thranduil ordered, holding up one hand and moving backward as Maldris reached for him. Suddenly her face morphed and it was Tauriel who stood before him burning and screaming with the pain as the fire consumed her.

"Thranduil!" she cried as she collapsed at his feet. "Help me." He pulled his robe from his shoulders and threw it over her as she wailed in agony. He tried to keep his cries from escaping his throat but he had lived through this too many times to expect any different outcome. The difference this time was that it was Tauriel not his wife who burned.

"Tauriel," he said as he turned her over to look in to her face. A horror of burnt flesh and bone stared through sightless eyes.

"Why did you do this to me?" Tauriel asked. "All I wanted was to love you and you killed me. Faithless!"

"No!" Thranduil screamed then woke up and jumped from his bed. He took several deep breaths as he took in the cool darkness of his bed chamber. He donned his robe then left his rooms.

\--

Tauriel groaned as someone pounded on her door. She threw herself from the bed, answered the door and was shocked to find Thranduil standing before her.

"Thranduil! What is wrong?"

"May I come in?" Thranduil asked and Tauriel stepped aside.

"Can I get you a drink?" Tauriel asked. Thranduil shook his head as he took her hand. He crossed the room and sat on the bed, pulling her with him. She was hit with a wave of his fear and nausea as he wrapped her in his arms.

"Bad dream?" she asked as he buried his face in her hair as he rocked her.

"Yes," he answered. "I have grown used to them, but this time it was different."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," Thranduil answered as he continued to rock.

"Alright," Tauriel said as she shifted to make them both more comfortable and pressed a kiss to his neck.

Thranduil shifted so he could look into her face. She reached up as was her habit lately and rubbed between his eyebrows with the tip of her finger and he relaxed.

"You can sleep here," Tauriel said. "Or if you would rather I will go back to your room and stay with you there."

"Here is good," he told her as she slipped from his arms to build up the fire. Thranduil stood and would have taken off his robe but remembered he had gone to bed wearing nothing. He swallowed hard and looked at Tauriel who was now standing in front of the fire which illuminated her white night gown so he could see her figure through it. He wanted her to stay where she was and come to him all at once.

Tauriel smiled. "You don't have to be embarrassed. I don't care that you are naked beneath your robe." He raised his eyebrows at her and she laughed.

"Melamin," he whispered. "What am I thinking now?"

She opened her mouth to answer then blushed and looked away from Thranduil's gaze. "You are thinking that I am right and that maybe time is our enemy after all."

Thranduil walked toward her. "If this is not what you want. Say so now."

She laughed. "It is you who need to be sure of what you want before you commit. I am not the one who errs on the side of caution."

Tauriel unbuttoned her night gown then paused. "Continue," Thranduil told her as he noted how her fingers trembled.

"I will not be the only undressing," she said then pulled the gown over her head and Thranduil pulled at the belt of his robe as his eyes roamed her body. Her side, like his was healed with no sign of injury left behind. He found he wanted to kiss her there, amongst other places.

"Here," Tauriel said as she stepped close and slid the robe from his shoulders then smoothed her hands over his bare skin.

Before she could explore any further his lips were on hers. His robe fell away and they stood together skin to skin as he nipped at her mouth and teased her with his tongue.

The feel of his body against hers took her breath away. He had always kept a part of him separate from her when he held her but now she could feel all of him as well as the hard flesh betraying his arousal pressing against her. She smoothed her hands down his side intent on touching when he spun her onto the bed.

"Don't tease me," she begged as he fastened his mouth to her neck as his hands caressed the curve of her breast.

The low sound he made in his throat as he kissed his way to her chest send a flush of almost unbearable heat to her stomach. She wanted to pull him back up - to be the one to explore when his mouth closed around one of her nipples. Tauriel gasped and closed her eyes.

His fingers were caressing her sides and her hips in lazy circles as he teased one breast then moved to the other.

"This is unfair," she whispered. She felt rather then saw him smile against her skin before he pulled away and looked into her eyes. He said nothing as he took her hand and placed it over his heart.

"Oh," Tauriel said then reached out with her other hand to smooth it along his neck and down his chest to his stomach, watching her fingers dance against his skin in fascination as she trailed them lower and lower. She realized that she could spend hours simply learning the feel of his skin and it struck her that this was like the many times they had examined each other's hands or faces. She met his eyes and smiled.

"It can be just this," she said as she lightly scraped her nails over his nipples. "If that is all you want."

Thranduil tilted his head. "Can you not tell what I want?" Tauriel shook her head.

"I am unable to tell if it is I who hunger for you or you for me."

Thranduil laughed as he smoothed his hands up and down her sides. "I only know how I feel," he admitted. "And I think perhaps it would shock you to know how long I have hungered for you."

Tauriel's gaze snapped up to meet his and he frowned at her. The remnants of his nightmare still clung to his mind and if he closed his eyes he could see her consumed by fire more than anything he wanted to keep that image from her.

"Tell me," Tauriel said as she put her hands on either side of his face. "What has made you afraid?"

He gave her a wistful smile and let his gaze slide down her body for a moment before snapping back up to her face. "The fear of losing you," he answered honestly.

"I have that fear also," Tauriel admitted then smiled. "Well, except of me losing you."

"And we both know better than to let fear rule us," Thranduil said, at least he did. Fear lead to deadly mistakes.

Tauriel rubbed between his eyebrows with her index finger and he smiled before grabbing her finger and kissing it. "You're going to wear a hole in my skin."

"Then stop scowling," she told him. The kiss on her finger moved from her palm to her wrist to the bend in her elbow, her shoulder and finally her neck.  
Thranduil pulled her into his arms then moved her to lay beneath him. He wanted to take this slow and savor every moment but another part of him disagreed and wanted her now.

"We have time," Tauriel whispered in his ear. "But for now let us sate our desires." She paused. "I don't wish to wait anymore than you do."

"I would not have you suffer discomfort," he told her then kissed her briefly as he braced himself above her. Tauriel instantly wrapped her legs around his waist.

"The only discomfort I suffer is in you making me wait," she said then gasped as his fingers slid against the slick flesh between her legs. She tried to hold him in place as he moved so she could watch as he circled his fingers in a dance that made her want to cry out and beg for more.

"Don't stop," she whispered as she ground against his hand. "Please." But he did stop and she cried out in protest until he shifted and pressed his hard shaft against her.

"Stopping now is not something easily done," he told her as he worked himself back and forth against her core until her body was wound tight as a spring then released in spasms that forced a long whine from her lips. She whimpered as he changed positions and clung to him for fear he was going to leave her as he had once before.

"Melamin," he soothed her as he held her gaze then slid the head of his shaft just barely inside of her.

"Oh!" she gasped as he worked himself in and out until he was fully seated within her.

"Thran...duil," she hiccuped as she wrapped her arms and legs around him. "Please."

Thranduil held himself under tight control as he let Tauriel adjust to his invasion into her body then moved over her and kissed her. If this was all he had of her it would be enough, he thought to himself then closed his eyes as he began to move within her, grinding his hips slow and gentle until she whimpered.

"I will not break," she said against his lips as she rocked her hips urging him to move faster, deeper. "Harder, Thranduil. Please." His answer was to kiss her as he rocked against her - faster and harder as they clung together.

The sensation hit him only seconds before his completion did. It was as though flood gates had broke open and suddenly his senses and mind were filled with her and pleasure so intense that it sent him spiraling into something far deeper and sweeter than the joining of their bodies.

Thranduil lost himself in the sensation of not only being connected to her physically but spiritually as well as the bond between them found its own completion. When he came back to himself he was laying with her head on his chest. He put his hand on her back and she hummed.

"You were wrong. I was able to bond to you." she said, though not aloud and Thranduil blinked in surprise.

"I am pleased to be wrong," he told her and she moved so she could look into his eyes. At the contact they both jolted as warmth spread through them and he chuckled at the look on her face.

"You can feel what I am feeling?" Tauriel asked in awe. "What I am thinking?"

Thranduil tilted his head and put her hand on his heart. "You are here now, though you have always been I think. And there is much I need to tell you, Melamin. Things I need to show you. I feel it is unfair to have let his happen without giving you a chance. This bond cannot be severed now."

Tauriel knew he was not speaking pleasant things, other than the bond, and she shook her head. "I don't care. You know I don't care and I don't want to know."

"I know," Thranduil told her as he kept her hand pressed against his chest. "Not now. For now let us enjoy what we have found together."

"Things like this don't really happen do they?" Tauriel asked. "I mean bonds like ours. I thought they were just romantic stories."

Thranduil tangled his fingers of his other hand in her hair. "They are more than stories. They are just not common amongst the Sylvan elves. You are a young people."

"And less wise," Tauriel finished for him.

"And wild and beautiful," Thranduil added. "And I would not change you nor my people for all the treasure in middle earth." Tauriel hummed in reply as he tucked her into his arms and they both fell into a sated, pleasurable sleep.

\----

"My Lord," Galion said as he approached Thranduil's desk. "One of your guard has arrived and asked to speak with you. Will you see him?"

"Who?" Thranduil asked as he put down his pen the stretched. He hated paperwork but it had to be seen to if he wanted to spend the afternoon with Tauriel. The next few days would be busy as well as he held court. All he wanted was to break free of his obligations and be with Tauriel.

He smiled at the thought of her and the feel of her in his mind. She was bored. He blinked a few times and forced himself back into the moment and looked at Galion inquisitively.

"Radon, he serves under Uron."

Thranduil's brows furrowed. "Send him in." He watched as Galion walked to the door then led a dark haired, dark eyed soldier into the room.

"My king," Radon said and bowed deeply. "Thank you for seeing me."

"What can I do for you?" Thranduil asked as he narrowed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. He could not recall meeting this soldier before but there was something about him that made him feel wary and strangely sad.

Radon shot a quick look at Galion then at Thranduil. "I have been on early evening watch for the last few weeks and have noticed something of great concern."

"And you have brought the matter to Uron?" Thranduil asked as he speared Radon with a look that had the solider trembling.

Radon blinked a few times, looked at Galion then shook his head. "I-I thought it was a matter I should bring directly to your attention. I believe a host of orcs and goblins are camping near the enchanted river."

Thranduil narrowed his eyes. "How long have you suspected this? You should have brought it to Uron's attention immediately. He is your captain you should report to him. Your captain then reports to me should he deem it necessary."

Radon swallowed hard and bowed his head. "Forgive me but I was uncertain until last night. I have not yet seen Uron and I thought the matter too important to wait. Forgive me." Thranduil's scowl was so feirce that Radon took a step back.

"I-I was hoping for your permission to take a small group and scout the area. It shouldn't be more than a day and a half." Radon said his voice shaking.

"No!" Thranduil said as he picked up his pen and began writing. "You can bring the matter to Uron. If he decides action should be taken he will come to me and arrangements can be made between he and I."

"Yes, My Lord," Radon said.

"Is that all?" Thranduil asked.

"Yes, My Lord," Radon answered.

"Next time," Thranduil said then looked up and speared Radon with an angry glare that threatened to burn Radon to dust. "Do not presume to approach me with such matters. Uron has been appointed captain of my guard and he will remain such until I feel the need for a change. Have I made myself clear?"

"Yes, My Lord," Radon said then bowed several times.

"Now away with you," Thranduil ordered. Radon bowed again then left without turning his back. Thranduil looked at Galion who froze mid step as he backed up toward the door.

"Did you not ask him what his business was, Galion?" Thranduil's tone was so cold that it could have frozen Galion where he stood.

"Of course," Galion answered. "And I thought the matter was important enough to garner your attention."

"Since when do you let soldiers ignore protocol? What use is having a captain of the guard if his command is allowed to be subverted? Badly done, Galion! This was a matter Uron could have seen to and dispatched on his own without disturbing me until Radon's worries were proven true."

"Forgive me, My Lord. I wasn't thinking."

"Clearly," Thranduil said. "Please send for Uron. I will leave Radon's discipline up to him."

"Yes, My Lord," Galion said then bowed and fled the room.

"Useless," Thranduil growled then returned to his work.  
\--

"That was terrifying," Radon said as Galion closed the door and sighed.

"I should have known better," Galion told him. "Forgive me. I miscalculated. This entire situation has me so on edge that I've forgotten all I know." He gave Radon a shaky smile.

"So what do we do now?"

Galion motion for Radon to walk with him. "I have been ordered to fetch Uron. He is to decide your punishment for insubordination."

"Punishment?" Radon gasped. "I didn't think I was insubordinate"

"This is my fault," Galion said. "I will talk to Uron and tell him I advised you to bring the matter to the king."

"Won't that raise suspicions?" Radon asked then looked over his shoulder. Galion pulled him by the arm and forced him to look forward.

"Only if Uron is suspicious in the first place. If I smooth the matter over with Uron he will suspect nothing. Just leave the matter to me and do nothing but apologize."

"Uron's involvement is going to make this even more complicated. He and Tauriel are very close friends."

Galion nodded. "I am aware and I believe we can use that to our advantage. As I said, leave the matter to me and play innocent. At the very least you will stay behind and Nestion will carry out our plan."

Radon shook his head. "I don't trust him with Tauriel's safety. Let us hope the matter doesn't fall on his shoulders."

Both elves stopped as they reached the barracks then looked at each other. "Let me do all the talking," Galion ordered. Radon nodded then followed him through the doors.

Uron who was smiling and talking to one of his soldiers frowned as Galion approached. He looked at Radon for a moment then at Galion. "What brings you here, Galion? Has something happened?"

"His majesty has requested your presence," Galion answered then waited as Uron gave a few directions to the solider beside him then began walking toward the king's chambers.

"Can you give me any idea what this is about?" Uron asked over his shoulder as Galion and Radon kept pace behind him.

Galion let loose a heavy sigh. "I fear that I have brought a great deal of trouble down on Radon's head. We happened to meet this morning and he told me about a troubling matter he discovered on watch."

Uron looked at Radon. "Why did you not report directly to me?"

Radon shot a glance at Galion a moment then opened his mouth. Before he could utter a word, Galion spoke,

"Because I happened to see him first. He was troubled and I asked him to report to the king."

Uron shook his head. "I assume that meeting went poorly."

"Very," Galion said. "Thranduil-King was exceedingly displeased and asked me to bring you before him to deal with Radon's discovery and also to decide his punishment."

Uron frowned and looked at Radon whose head was bowed. "What was so urgent that you risked life and limb to address the king before speaking to me?"

Radon looked at Galion who nodded in encouragement. "During the watch I've heard and smelled things that have lead me to believe there is an orc encampment to the west. I believe they may be planning an attack."

Uron's eyebrows furrowed. "While that is a troubling situation it doesn't seem so dire that you should need to address it right away."

"They are no more than half a day's ride from these halls," Galion said. "Radon fears it is a large host. Perhaps they are riding to attack these halls as we speak. Imagine if Radon had waited."

"I hardly think taking the time to find me and discuss it would make a difference, Galion. I understand why the king is angry, but clearly it is not Radon's fault. I will see that he is spared punishment."

He stopped in front of the door to the king's chambers and Galion moved forward. "Hold on one moment while I announce you," he said then disappeared behind the heavy oak doors. Uron looked at Radon.

"I am truly sorry, Captain," he said. "I should have come to you, but I ran into Galion and he made it seem as though addressing the king myself would be the correct action."

Uron nodded his head as he turned and frowned at the door. "Are you sure about the orcs?"

"I am certain," Radon answered then turned as Galion opened the door.

"Captain," Galion said then stepped aside. "Radon you are to wait here." Radon nodded as Uron and Galion entered to address the king.

"My Lord," Galion called out. "Here is Uron as you requested."

"Thank you, Galion. You are dismissed," Thranduil said as he put aside his pen and stood. Galion bowed and walked from the room as Thranduil watched him thoughtfully.

"Galion apprised me in on the situation," Uron said. "If there is an orc encampment so close we should leave immediately to dispatch them."

Thranduil who had not looked away from the door turned to Uron. "This is highly unusual," he said. "Galion more than anyone I know, more than myself, has always adhered to the rules and regulations. To have him suggest to one of your soldiers report to me over you is highly irregular."

"Perhaps he was simply alarmed by the news and suffered a lapse of judgment," Uron suggested.

"Yes," Thranduil agreed. "He has had a great many of those as of late."

"How would you like me to address the issues with of the orcs?"

"Take a few soldiers and scout the area. Come to me before you leave. If Radon proves correct then they will be dispatched before they draw closer. Have any of the other guards voiced concerns about orc encampments?"

"No," Uron answered. "But it would make sense that they haven't if Radon made the discovery on his evening watch."

Thranduil hummed. "What watch does Radon have?"

"Four hours after dinner hour," Uron answered.

Thranduil shook his head. "Then if the matter was so important why did he wait until morning to say something? Why did he not report to you immediately?"

"Who can say," Uron answered. "But I will find out."

Thranduil walked back to his seat. "Let me know once you do. I will also leave any disciplinary action up to you."

"Thank you," Uron said. He started to leave then turned back. "May I ask you a question, My Lord?"  
"Of course," Thranduil answered as he picked up his pen.

"How is Tauriel? Mae has seen her but I have not."

Thranduil dipped his pen in the ink well and began writing. "She is well and I have work to do we will speak later."

"Thank you," Uron said then bowed and walked from the room where Galion and Uron were waiting.

"Is everything well?" Galion asked.

"As much as it could be," Uron answered. "Thank you for your assistance, Galion."

"You can come to me anytime," Galion said and Uron nodded.

"Come with me Radon," Uron began as he turned. "You and I need to talk." Radon shot Galion a worried look and Galion gave him an encouraging smile.  
\---

"A scouting mission?" Tauriel asked as she watched Thranduil pour a glass of wine. "Is there any chance I could be allowed to go?"

"Absolutely not," Thranduil said. "Unless it is your fondest desire to drive me mad."

Tauriel rolled her eyes and groaned as she took the glass he offered her. "What of my sanity? I long to run beneath the trees. I want to dance under the starlight."

"The spring festival will be here soon enough and you can do both of those things without risking your life," Thranduil said as he sat beside her.

"So you're going to keep me locked up forever?" Tauriel asked. "Because you know I'm not going to stand for that."

"No," Thranduil said. "When you leave these halls it will be with me by your side to defend you if need be."  
Tauriel laughed. "I can defend myself very well thank you very much. I am offended that you doubt my prowess in battle."

"It is not your prowess I distrust, Melonin," Thranduil said as he wound her fingers with his. "But that of the enemy."

"That is the same thing as doubting my fighting ability," Tauriel pointed out.

Thranduil kissed her hand then smiled. "Which reminds me. I have had the morning sitting room cleared. We cannot spar with each other with an audience, but we can do so in private. I would like to run you through your paces."

Tauriel shook her head. "I'm not going to fight you, My Lord. I might wound you."

Thranduil arched his eyebrows and laughed. "And you think you have a chance?" Tauriel stuck out her tongue in reply.

"It is a risk I'm willing to take," he said. "Perhaps if you best me I will give you my permission to go with Uron on tomorrow's mission."

"If?" Tauriel asked as she stood. "You mean when I best you. I am more than ready now."

Thranduil smiled. "Go change, there is also a sword waiting for you. You might want a few moments to get used to it's weight."

Tauriel shook her head. "I don't use a sword."

"You will in this fight," Thranduil said as he stood and walked toward his bedroom. "Hurry, you have precious little time to prepare."

"You're infuriating!" Tauriel yelled.

"I know," Thranduil called from over his shoulder before he closed the door behind him. Tauriel waited five full seconds before breaking into a run toward the morning room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the next chapter finished. I feel it is too soon to publish it. Perhaps people have become disenchanted with this story as there have been no comments on this chapter. I get terribly nervous.
> 
> Admittedly I've grown a little weary of this story as there has been little Thranduil/Tauriel content to inspire me, but I will complete this work. 
> 
> If you are feeling shy to give me feedback or advice that you don't deem positive, please don't fear. I can take advice on how to better tell this story. If there is something about this chapter that didn't set well with you please, please speak up and I will work to correct it.
> 
> Thank you.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bloated 8k word chapter. I just couldn't cut it short. I myself love reading long chapters, but I am aware there are people who prefer them to be shorter. I'm sorry.
> 
> Shouts out to IronRoseofRivendell as always for the indispensable help and encouragement.
> 
> Song for this chapter - Eurielle - You Said - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YO0TH1r8GaU

Tauriel laughed as she took note of the armor Thranduil had left for her to wear. It was of a much heavier style than she was used to; made of thick brown leather with bits of metal to protect her shoulders, neck, and chest.

"I'm going to need your help getting this on," she said even though he wasn't in the room. She could sense his amusement and did the best she could to fasten buckles before feeling him slip into the room. 

"Where did you get this anyway?" she ask without turning to look at him.

Thranduil chuckled. "From the arms master of course. I told him it was for you and he dared argued with me over it."

"Wise of him," Tauriel said as she turned. "I'll barely be able to move in this. It's terribly unwieldy." She looked Thranduil up and down and found him wearing light armor of forest green and brown. She narrowed her eyes at him as he moved to buckle her into her gear.

"I am not ashamed of giving myself an advantage," Thranduil said before she could accuse him. "And I'm not cheating. You have an unfair advantage of another kind. I am only trying to even the playing field."

Tauriel rolled her eyes. "I may tease but I know I don't have a chance of besting you. I have seen you fight."

"As I have seen you," Thranduil answered.

Tauriel frowned as he turned her so he could fasten buckles on her other side. "When?" she asked as she lifted her arm.

"I used to watch you train. Of course my excuse was that I was observing Legolas." Thranduil gave her a small smile and stepped away and looked her up and down. "It will do."

Tauriel snorted then but on the silver bracers, again needing Thranduil's help, and her gloves. She cast him an irritated look and his smile grew.

"And what odd, unwieldy weapon are you putting in my hands, My Lord?" she asked.

Thranduil shrugged one shoulder and smirked. "It's just a sword. Nothing special."

"It's probably bigger than I am. Swords are cumbersome and I risk getting my hair caught in them." Tauriel said. "You should let me use my daggers if the fight is going to be even the slightest bit fair."

Thranduil spun her around, wove her hair into two braids then piled them on her head. She had no idea how he fastened them but they didn't move even as she tested them by shaking her head violently. 

"Fair?" he asked as he walked across the room.

"No," Tauriel answered then frowned at the sword he lifted from along the wall. It was a rapier, meant for stabbing not slicing and or hacking. She was grateful it was at least light.

"Get used to it," Thranduil said then tossed it to her and drew his own sword from the scabbard at his side. "I'll allow you a little time."

"I would need a life time," Tauriel grumbled as she walked across the room swinging the sword around with long practiced skill. This wasn't the first time she had picked up a sword but it was far from her favorite weapon. She told herself she should be grateful; he could have have given her a mace or worse an ax.

"A mace or an ax really would have been unfair," Thranduil teased as he sliced his sword through the air. Tauriel huffed and he laughed.

Tauriel continued with practice swings as she eyed Thranduil. "Pray tell. What is the advantage you think I have over you? Is it that I distract you?"

"Hmm," Thranduil said as he circled around her. "I hadn't considered that. Perhaps I should bind one of your hands behind your back."

"Really," Tauriel said as she laughed. "Tell me."

Thranduil sighed. "You are much more practiced with our bond. You will know my every move before I make it."

"Assuming I'll have the time to counter it," Tauriel said. "Besides, this bond cannot be so strange for you. You've felt one before."

Thranduil frowned and shook his head. "There was no true bond between she and I. Only the one that form between husband and wife and lovers."

"You can simply block yourself off," Tauriel told him. "You've done it before."

"No," Thranduil replied. "I will only do such a thing if it's necessary for your safety. I will never willingly close myself off from you again."

Tauriel smiled and would have put her arms around him and kissed him if not for their armor and weapons. She knew the smile on his face that he knew of her desire and a sweet warmth, much like making love, flooded through her and made her laugh aloud.

"Are you ready?" he asked his face slipping from happiness to seriousness.

"Only if you are done molesting me in your mind," Tauriel teased then laughed again as he flushed. 

"You make it hard," he told her then closed his eyes as Tauriel continued to laugh. "You have filthy mind, Melonin."

"Says the one who makes love to me in his imagination while I stand here waiting to battle him." Tauriel spun a few times as she swung her sword and Thranduil laughed.

He took a few more practice swings then stilled. "No more teasing," he said. "Tell me what are the stakes?"

Tauriel stilled her sword and turned toward him. "If I win then I get to go on the short, insignificant scouting mission with Uron and whomever he decides to take."

"And if I win?" Thranduil asked. She shook her head unsure what she could possibly give him. 

"You will move your belongings into my rooms and sleep in my bed from this day forward."

Tauriel almost dropped her sword. "You don't have to best me in battle for me to agree to that. You know I despise parting with you every night."

"Fine," Thranduil said. "If I win you agree that you will not leave these halls without me by your side."

"I knew that was coming," Tauriel told him and he shrugged one shoulder while she scowled.

"Are you ready?" he asked then nodded as she agreed. 

Thranduil circled around her twice before waging an attack that left her struggling to hold him back as she parried and evaded each slicing swing of his sword. Hers was useless at close range and yet she still swiped at him and he dodged each blow with efficient grace. 

Tauriel growled in frustration as he fended off each of her attacks then threw her off balance and forced her to do some fancy footwork to keep from losing then and there. She growled at him and his response was a feral smile as he advanced toward her.

It hit her suddenly that the feral expression he wore was not due to their fight, but because of his hunger for her. It shocked her for a moment but she recovered quickly and before he could counter her she swung herself up and over his back, holding her sword against his throat.

"Yield," she whispered in his ear and he shivered.

Thranduil felt himself slipping long before she realized what was going through his mind and he tried to change his thoughts but the look on her face was far too arousing and before he knew it he was at her mercy.

"Yield," she said again then chuckled. "I win." 

Thranduil smiled at her triumphant tone before bending and swinging her so she lost the grip on her sword. He swung her around then onto the ground where he moved over her while holding her hands above her head.

"Yield," he whispered in her ear as she struggled against him. He kissed her ear and she stilled though she was breathing heavily.

"I yield," she said and then his mouth was on hers their tongues battling for dominance. It was a fight Thranduil would gladly lose as he released her hands so they could find their way into his hair.

"Cheater," she panted as he pulled away to look in her eyes.

"You were over confidant," Thranduil told her. "You should have prepared for a counter move."

Tauriel closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I was distracted." 

"As was I," Thranduil admitted as he pulled her into a sitting position and began to remove her arm braces then to unbuckle her armor, saying nothing as she lifted his own shirt over his head and flung it across the room. 

"I yield," she told him again and he kissed her and neither said another word until their clothes were shed.

"Here," Thranduil said as he pulled Tauriel into his lap.

"How?" Tauriel questioned then sighed as he trailed kisses along her neck. He put his hand's on her hips and moved her to sit astride him then gasped as she reached down between them to stroke his hot shaft.

"It's hard," she teased while her fingers caressed him and he chuckled before nipping at her collar bone as his hands sought her breasts. He was kissing her skin meditating on how perfectly her breasts fit his hands when she impaled herself on him with one swift movement. 

"Tauriel," he groaned as he wrapped his arms around her to hold her still. The feel of being inside her was bliss but he was almost undone as she began rocking her hips and he realized he could feel her pleasure as well. He took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes tight as he tried to not let the sensation overwhelm him.

"You win," she told him several times as she continued to ride him. "You will always win, you are the king of my heart, Thranduil."

"Melonin," he cried out as he began trembling trying desperately to hold out but simply looking into her eyes filled his being with such pleasure that he had to close his eyes.

"Forever," she panted as she ground down upon him. "I promise." With that they both spilled over into each other, enveloped by a warm golden light that slowly dimmed as their movements ceased.

"People are returning to my halls after the long winter and my days will become much busier. I am holding court this evening and hearing a few disagreements," Thranduil whispered, letting his lips graze her shoulder. "I should like it if you were there. I want people to get used to seeing us together."

Tauriel blinked sleepily then slumped against him, letting him hold her as they rested. They were still joined and neither wished to move.

"Tauriel," Thranduil said as his hand slid up and down her back. "I know you have reservations but I am certain people will accept you, especially when they learn of our bond. It won't be easily hidden."

Tauriel shook her head. "I don't want to have this argument now," she told him. "Please. Give me a little more time. We have time."

"Yes," Thranduil said as he pulled her hair out of the updo he'd placed it in. She gave him an irritated look.

"I wanted to see what you did to my hair," she told him with a pout.

He gave her a wicked smile. "No you didn't" he told her. "It was a frightening sight to behold." She narrowed her eyes at him, but rather than tease him she shifted against his body and kissed and touched him until he grew hard within her and they made love again.  
\----

Galion stood outside of Thranduil's apartments fuming as he stared down the guard at the door. He had been trying to convince him for the last thirty minutes to let him pass but the accursed guard would not budge.

"It is going to be your head when he realizes you kept me from reminding him about court," Galion told the guard. "He is late as it is."

"Forgive me," the guard said. "But his instructions were absolute. No one is to pass unless it is a matter of life and death." Galion growled in irritation then began pacing up and down the hall. He finally stopped and turned as the door opened and Thranduil, wearing his winter crown and silver robes appeared hand in hand with Tauriel. Both were flushed and smiling.

"My Lord," he said then bowed. "You are late for court."

Thranduil's eyebrows furrowed. "It can wait. This is not the first nor the last time I have arrived later than planned." He turned to Tauriel. "Be here when I am done?"

"Yes," Tauriel answered. Her loving smile set Galion's teeth on edge and Thranduil gave him a warning look.

"I'm going to see Mae and Uron," she said. "I shouldn't be too long." The look they gave each other was as intimate as a kiss and Galion folded his arms over his chest and looked away from them in embarrassment.

"Thranduil-King!" he said and Thranduil gave him a sharp look. He bowed to Tauriel then the guard then followed Galion to the throne room.

\---

"Tauriel!" Radon called as he caught up to her. "I need to speak with you." Tauriel turned then hesitated as she met his eyes. Distrust rose in her mind and she understood it was not her own but Thranduil's.

"Then speak," she told him as she mentally reached for daggers which were not on her back. She cursed in her mind and Thranduil's concern answered. 

"I'm fine," she said and Radon gave her a curious look.

"I am in a great deal of trouble Tauriel," Radon began. "Will you help me?"

Tauriel tilted her head then nodded and followed Radon down the hall. "Let's find Uron first."

"No," Radon told her as he reached for her arm. "He cannot help me." Tauriel gave him a wary look and stepped away from him. 

"We need to find Uron," she told him firmly. "Then you can tell him what ever it is you have done."

"It's not what I have done," Radon said. "But what I am going to do." Tauriel gave him a questioning look. She felt someone approach from behind but before she could turn a dark hood was slipped over her head. 

Tauriel yelled and tried to fight and found herself overwhelmed by hands that grasped hers and tied her arms behind her back as she tried to kick.

"Knock her out quick," Radon ordered and she struggled hard against her assailant before everything went dark as they used a spell to put her to sleep.  
Nestion grumbled as he let her slip to the floor then looked at Radon who moved to kneel beside Tauriel. He checked her over then looked up at Nestion.

"Are the horses ready?"

"They are growing restless waiting," Nestion answered. "There is no time to fawn over her, Radon, we need to move now." 

"I'll carry her," Radon said as he gathered Tauriel into his arms.

"It would be faster if you threw her over your shoulder. There is no need to show her that much care." 

Radon shook his head. "I don't think we're going to make it. She called out to him for help I could feel it vibrating through her. He could have heard her."

"Go," Nestion said. "Do not wait for me. I will catch up."

\---

"The deal we made," The elf standing before Thranduil's throne pointed to the elleth off to the side. "Was for a ten dozen bottles and she provided me with eight and half were the wrong color."

"I told you before hand that my stock was diminished and you affirmed that you were content with the alternate shade and could wait for the rest." The elleth called out of turn.

"Is this true, Aegion?" Thranduil asked and Aegion shook his head.

"The oils I make to prevent hangovers will go rancid if exposed to the sunlight. I told Nimdes this. I need dark blue but dark brown will do."

"You said nothing of the kind!" Nimdes yelled. "If you had been more clear I would have told you the wait would be longer."

"And now half my stock sits in barrels," Aegion yelled as he turned to Nimdes. " I will not be ready for the spring festival nor will I be able to send anything for sale in Dale. I will then be unable to purchase stock to make more oil until later in the year and the quality of my product will diminish."

"I am not paying for your failure to communicate your needs!" Nimdes yelled. 

"I will be ruined!" Aegion appealed to Thranduil. 

Thranduil shot a look at Galion. "Why was this situation not resolved?" 

Galion jolted to attention. "All attempts at mediation failed. Neither party would accept resolution."

Thranduil leaned back in his throne and was about to ask a question when Tauriel's distress shot through him. He stood immediately and so did the court. 

"Please sit," he said as he held up one hand. "An urgent matter has come up I must tend to it immediately. "

"My Lord," Galion called as he tried to stop Thranduil from leaving but Thranduil moved him aside effortlessly and began racing toward the training grounds.

"Wait," Galion yelled as he grabbed a fist full of Thranduil's robes and pulled. Thranduil turned and took Galion by the throat. He said nothing as he glared at his assistant then released him and resumed his mission.

"Thranduil!" Galion called after him, running after the king on shaking legs. He was at a loss for what to do next when Nestion appeared running down the hall. 

"My Lord," he said as he skidded to a halt then sketched a quick bow. "We received a message that a host of Orcs are heading our way. Uron sent me to alert you that the guard is on their way to attack them."

"Where is Tauriel?" Thranduil asked as he resisted the urge to grab Nestion and hurl him against the wall. 

"She is in the barracks with the quartermaster helping arm soldiers." Nestion shot a quick look at Galion then returned his attention to Thranduil. Thranduil could no longer sense her distress and while he couldn't sense her at all he attributed the feeling to not being used to their bond.

"Send her to me immediately," Thranduil told him then turned to Galion. "Gather my generals and tell them to meet me in the throne room." Galion bowed then watched Thranduil turn back toward the way he had come.

"What happened?" Galion asked as he looked over his shoulder. 

"She wasn't compliant," Nestion answered. "We do not have time to talk, Galion. Radon is waiting. It's too late to stop this now."

"Then go," Galion said then turned and ran to take as much time as possible to do Thranduil's bidding.

\---

Tauriel came back to consciousness to find her hands and legs were bound and a bag still hooding her aching head. She tried to figure out where she was and who she was with when she heard the sound of rushing water.

"Radon?" she called as she tried to sit up from the cold ground where she had awoke. "Anyone?"

"I'm here, Tauriel," Radon said as he knelt and removed the hood from her head. He smoothed back the hair from her face and she gave him a confused look.

"Where are you taking me?" she asked.

Radon sighed and she spotted Nestion over his shoulder. "Why are you doing this?" she asked.

"We are saving our king from you, whore," Nestion said as he pulled on a rope hanging from a nearby branch.

"And you think hanging me is going to save him? It will break him. Please." Tauriel cried out as she began trembling. She was helpless and likely too far away for Thranduil to rescue.  
Radon who was kneeling beside her examining the bump on her head sighed. 

"We're not going to hang you. We're going to throw you in the river."

"So drowning me then," Tauriel said trying to sound flippant. "Killing me will not help the king. We... We have a bond. We have bonded." Tears prickled at her eyes as she thought of Thranduil having to face another loss. She knew she would wait for him forever, but what good was that when life and death separated them? Tears began falling as she stifled a sob.

"You're not talking your way out of this," Nestion said as he handed Radon a rope. "Tie this around her waist. I'll throw her in."

"Radon," Tauriel cried as she tried to appeal to her once friend. "I thought we came to an understanding. Please don't do this to me." She watched the conflicting emotions on his face then bit her lip as he began tying the rope around her.

"What are you doing? Please tell me." she asked and Radon met her gaze.

"We're not going to kill you," he told her as he brushed the tears from her face. "We are throwing you into the enchanted river in the hopes that you'll forget. I promise I won't allow you to be in long enough for eternal slumber."

Tauriel lifted her chin and sought the courage to endure. She mentally called to Thranduil then cried out as she was lifted off the ground by the rope. Nestion gave her push after push until she was swinging well above the rushing currents and then he let go of the rope.

\----

Thranduil who was sitting in his now empty throne room awash with an all too familiar sense of dread stood as Uron entered the room. He had already sent out his generals to rally more troops and was waiting for Tauriel.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. "I thought you went to lead the guard."

Uron frowned then looked at Galion who was wringing his hands. Thranduil walked toward him and he bowed. "Lead the guard where, My Lord? I am here to speak to you of Radon's fears about an orc encampment. I have spoken to many living in the area. They sense no evidence of activity."

Thranduil balled his hands into fists. "Where is Tauriel?" he asked his voice was a deadly calm that sent ice through Uron's veins.

"I've been in the barracks all day. I've not seen her. Perhaps she's with Mae," Uron began then cast Galion a quick look as Thranduil ran from the room before following.

"We must find her," Thranduil yelled then stopped so suddenly that Uron nearly crashed into him. He put his hand to the wall as an icy blade shot through his skull then radiated through his whole body. He slumped forward as the cold shot through him from head to toe and his mind fogged. It hurt so badly that he was unaware of Uron keeping him from falling.

He was barely aware of the chaos his sudden collapse caused as the guard descended on him or Galion screaming his name over and over as they carried him to his bedroom. He felt so far away from himself. Thranduil opened his eyes and was confused to see concerned faces bent over him. He expected to find himself elsewhere. But where? He couldn't remember. All he knew is that his whole body hurt.

Thranduil closed his eyes. He knew he was being carried but he didn't care. Something was wrong but what? If he could only gather his scattered thoughts together. 

"Tauriel," he gasped then sat up only to be pushed back down onto his bed. He began uttering her name like a benediction. Tauriel. Tauriel. Something was wrong with Tauriel. He knew it deep in his bones, in his soul. He couldn't feel her through their connection. Was she dead? His breath ceased for a moment as sorrow washed through his entire being before he pushed the thought away. He refused to consider losing her.

"No one knows where she has gone," answered a soothing voice. Thranduil reached out and grabbed on to the robe of the healer bending over him and pulled down.

"Bring her to me now," he ordered. "I don't care if you have to turn all of my kingdom upside down to do so."

"Consider it done," the healers said then pressed a cup to Thranduil's lips. "Now drink this."

"I am not drinking any of your cursed herbs!" Thranduil shouted as he pushed the healer away and sat up. It hit him at that moment that he knew where she was. She needed him. 

"My Lord," Galion began as he shoved the healer aside. "Please lay down. You are not well." Thranduil shot him a glare full of anger and hate.

"Whatever you have done to her, Galion. Will be done to you twice over!"

Galion gasped and took a step back. "I assure you, My Lord. I have done nothing to Tauriel." 

Thranduil grit his teeth and stood, pushing Galion back in the process. "Prepare my elk. I will go after her myself." He ignored every protest and he fled the room with Galion close behind .

"Your elk did not survive the battle with the dwarves and orcs," Galion said hesitantly. Thranduil growled and said nothing more to Galion.

\---

"You are lucky I was able to hold on to the rope" Radon said as he wrapped a very wet and very unconscious Tauriel up in a woolen blanket. "I almost lost her. Did you have to throw her so hard?"

"I told you it was the only way we'd get her into the river," Nestion said as he folded his arms and looked down at Tauriel in disgust. "It's unfortunate that there isn't a nest of spiders around. We'd leave her there for food and be done with it all."

Radon shook his head. "And forfeit my life? I don't think so. Besides we promised Galion she would live."

Nestion snorted. "Well we didn't promise him she'd wake from this. What do you think are the odds?"

"I don't know." Radon shook his head as he tied ropes around Tauriel to keep the blanket secure. He frowned at how pale her face was and how blue her lips were. He checked to make sure she was breathing then sighed in relief to find she was. 

"We should have waited a little longer to pull her out," Nestion remarked idly. "Just to be sure. Maybe we could even dunk her in again."

"No," Radon growled. "And if I left her in the water any longer she would have drowned and we would both be dead."

Nestion rolled his eyes. "Well maybe the enchantment she has on our king will cease if she died."

"No!" Radon said then lifted Tauriel and draped her over her horse. "We will see her back home safely and if she wakes she will forget us having thrown her in the river and more importantly her affair with the king. Legolas will return and everything will be set right." He ignored Nestion's grumbling as he secured Tauriel to the horse.

They were close to the halls when they were surrounded by an army of elves with Thranduil at the lead. He threw himself from his horse and ordered Radon and Nestion to be taken prisoner as he reached for Tauriel.

"Melonin," he said as he laid her on the ground. He brushed her soaked hair from her face then leaned down and put his mouth against hers and shuddered in relief as he felt her breath against his lips.

Uron fell to his knees on the other side of Tauriel and began unbinding the ropes then removing the blankets so he could check her for injuries.  
"She has a bump on her skull," Thranduil told Uron. 

"We need dry blankets," Uron called.

"She'll ride with me," Thranduil said as he stood and turned to mount his horse. Uron lifted Tauriel into his arms and he nodded his thanks as he wrapped her in his own cloak.

"Have those two locked up," he said as he inclined his head toward Radon and Nestion. Uron bowed and Thranduil spurred his horse into a run back to his halls.

\--

Thranduil carried her to himself into the house of healing refusing to let anyone touch her as he laid her on a cot and waited for Lalathion. He held her hand to his lips and prayed for her to wake.

"Tauriel," he whispered then pressed her hand to his cheek. "You are not allowed to leave me. It is an order. You won't even leave these halls by my side." He hoped for her eyes to flutter open. He wanted her to fight him. She remained still.

"My Lord," Lalathion said as he pushed the curtain aside. His intent was to chase Thranduil away so he could wash Tauriel and change her from her wet clothing and remove any lingering enchantment.

"If you've come to tell me to leave think again," Thranduil ground out angrily.

Lalathion sighed and decided on a different course of action. "I need to change her clothes and wash the polluted water from her body. Would you like to help?"

Thranduil took in the three elves standing behind Lalathion. One carried a bowl of steaming water, another towels, and the last held a nightgown.

"Just you and I," Thranduil said. Lalathion took the bowl of water and towels and sent his assistants away.

"I'll start on her feet," Lalathion said as he knelt beside the cot and began working.

Thranduil said nothing as he unfastened Tauriel's tunic, then sat her up to remove it completely. He frowned at Lalathion before he began working open the binding wrapped around Tauriel's chest.

"How long do you think it will take her to wake?" Thranduil asked while he unfastened her leggings then helped Lalathion pull them off.

Lalathion put the bowl of warm water between himself and Thranduil on the floor. "I don't know. I would think you would know better than I." He handed Thranduil a washcloth. "I'll leave this job to you," he said. "If you want to begin I'll get more water and a comb for her hair."

"Thank you," Thranduil said as he wet the cloth then started at Tauriel's face. He washed her ears, her neck then chest where he stopped to put his hand on her heart. He could feel it beating a very slow rhythm that matched her slow breaths.

He swallowed down the cry burrowing in his throat like a wild thing and quickly finished washing her before grabbing the night gown and dressing her. Lalathion reappeared in the room and he helped the healer wash her hair.

Thranduil's eyes fell on the braid he'd placed in her hair, the enchanted water had unraveled it and a sob finally burst past his lips as he separated it from the tangled mass of her hair and began rebraiding it after cutting another lock of his own hair to weave into it.

Lalathion said nothing as they worked to settle Tauriel into the bed. Thranduil bent forward and kissed her lips then buried his face in her chest.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" Lalathion asked as he folded his hands in his robes.

"Wake her," Thranduil answered coolly. "Let her remember." Lalathion sighed and was about to warn Thranduil that the likely hood of her remembering much if she even woke at all was exceedingly slim.

"My Lord!" Uron called as he burst into the room with Mae close behind him. "Lord Elrond has arrived. Legolas is with him." 

"Tauri!" Mae cried and put her hand over her mouth at the sight of her unconscious friend.

Thranduil stood, straightened his shoulders then turned to Mae. "Watch her," he ordered. "You are not to leave her side. If she wakes or if... If you need me send someone. I trust her with no one else.

"Yes, My Lord," Mae said as she wiped her eyes and bowed to her king. 

"Uron come with me." Thranduil said his eyes still on Tauriel. "I want to make sure those to traitors are well guarded by men you trust."

\---

Legolas knew something was wrong the moment his father entered the throne room without his robes or even a crown. The shattered look on his face was enough. It was too similar to the one he wore when last they spoke.

"Pardon me my informality," Thranduil said as he moved forward and offered his hand to Elrond. "And welcome."

"Ada," Legolas called and Thranduil lifted tortured eyes to his son.

"Welcome home, Ion nin," he said. "Ill tidings await."

Elrond tilted his head to the side as he took in Thranduil's ragged appearance. He had dreamed this moment and a feeling of dread moved through him. 

"We are here to help," Elrond said. He expected Thranduil to meet his gaze but he studiously avoided it. 

"I was unaware that I called for help," Thranduil told him coolly. "And unless you can wake someone who has fallen into the enchanted river there is nothing you can do."

"Who?" Legolas asked. 

"Tauriel," Thranduil answered then closed his eyes as Legolas fled the room. 

Thranduil took several deep breaths then turned his attention to Elrond and noted the other members of Lord Elrond's party. 

"Your journey was long," he said. "Come take refreshment with me while your accommodations are seen to."

"May Elrhoir and I join Legolas?" Elladan asked.

Thranduil swallowed hard. He didn't want them setting eyes on Tauriel, at least not in the condition she was in now, but he also understood Legolas would need the support of his friends. He agreed with a bow and Elrond's son's left.

"Now that we are alone," Elrond said as he followed Thranduil through his halls. "Will you confide in me what has happened?"

"Since when have I confided anything in you?" Thranduil asked and Elrond sighed. 

"Not since your wife passed to the halls," Elrond answered. "Before that I would have said we were good friends."

"A good friend would not have forced a damaged soul to cling to life." Thranduil replied. "I don't know that I can ever forgive you or Galadriel the choice you made." 

Elrond opened his mouth but stopped as Thranduil whispered. "Now so more than ever."

"We did was for the best," Elrond said.

"Oh yes," Thranduil told him bitterly as he opened the door to his chambers and gestured for Elrond to enter. "The two of you with your rings of power, thinking it gives you the right to make decisions for every being on Middle Earth. You are both so above everyone else, even Eru no doubt."

"Jealousy and bitterness do not become you," Elrond said as he turned to Thranduil who motioned for him to sit.

"And yet it seems those are one of the few things I have left to sustain me," Thranduil answered. "Would you like a drink? Wine perhaps?"

"Thank you, but no," Elrond answered. "I am here because you have been troubling my dreams that and Legolas seeks to reconcile with his friend, Tauriel and has sought the support of Elladan and Elrohir to do so."

"Because he lacks it from his father you were going to say next," Thranduil said as he poured wine for himself. 

Elrond sighed. "I didn't come to chastise you nor to fight. I am here to help."

"Help Legolas win the heart of the elleth he loves?" Thranduil asked then buried his face in his cup.

"To help you! You fool!" Elrond answered finally irritated with Thranduil's attitude. 

"Help me how?" Thranduil said. "Finally into the halls of Manos? How considerate of you. Do you believe Legolas is ready to take the throne now that I am useless to the machinations of your mother-in-law and yourself?"

Elrond looked up at the ceiling for a moment. "Not at all Thranduil. If you put aside your anger for a moment and talked with me..."

"I'm afraid I lack the inclination," Thranduil said. "You said you were here to support Legolas. Perhaps that is where you should be."

Elrond watched quietly while Thranduil drank. "Inunis sent me," he finally said and Thranduil looked at him sharply.

"Inunis is dead!" Thranduil yelled. "She faded not long ago." 

"She came to me in dreams - told me to come here and help you and Tauriel, though she could not tell me why or how." Elrond sat forward and locked eyes with Thranduil. "I was hoping you could enlighten me."

"You hope in vain," Thranduil answered.

"She said it was a matter of your life and death." Elrond continued.

"Well then it's a wonder that you could muster the will to leave your halls."

"That is enough, Thranduil Opherion!" Elrond raised his voice though he did not yell."

Thranduil snorted and poured more wine into his cup. "Did you know a spiritual bond can be undone?"

"No," Elrond said frowning deeply. "I doubt that it can."

"If I had known as well I'd have thrown myself in long ago." Thranduil laughed bitterly. "But then Maldris and I never had a true bond I suppose if one could form between Tauriel and myself." 

Elrond reached out and took Thranduil's wine from his hand and placed it on the low table between them. The look of sorrow in Thranduil's eyes speared at his heart.

"You and Tauriel?" Elrond asked.

Thranduil smiled wistfully. "Love," he said. "Is cruel is it not? You know what it is to lose your heart."

Elrond nodded. "Celebrian," he sighed and leaned back in his seat. "But she is not lost. She is waiting for me."

"And Maldris is not awaiting me. Tauriel will also die and fail to wait for me as well." Thranduil clenched his fists and Elrond wisely waited for Thranduil's rage to cool. 

"When did you wed Tauriel?" Elrond finally asked.

"We are not wed. Not formally at least. A bond has formed nevertheless. Neither she nor I discouraged it. I should have perhaps, but I have loved her for so long I couldn't resist. Even my own son's heart wasn't a deterant." Thranduil smiled wistfully as he remembered the short season of joy he shared with Tauriel. He would never be able to look at winter the same again. 

"What happened to her?" Elrond asked as he examined Thranduil. He could see unspeakable pain and fear dimming the damaged silver glow of Thranduil's fae. He knew then that it would take very little to push Thranduil onto the path to fading and it would happen very quickly unless someone intervened. Elrond wondered if he should call for Galadriel.  
"  
She promised me forever," Thranduil said more to himself. "Now I'm trapped and I can't get out." He looked at Elrond. "I'm lost."  
Elrond's shoulders dropped as Thranduil's sorrow settled around them and he fought to pull himself out of it. "You said she fell in the enchanted river. Such is not a death sentence."

"It may as well be," Thranduil said. "When she awakes she will not remember our time together. I will step aside as I should have done in the first place. She will fall in love with Legolas."

"You really believe that?" Elrond asked. 

"I lived a beautiful dream," Thranduil continued. "A very brief and beautiful dream. I should be content with having had it, but it cannot be. Even so I cannot imagine letting her go."

"Because you love her," Elrond stated.

"Yes," Thranduil replied through clenched teeth. "I love her." He slumped forward and put his hands over his face.

Elrond stood walked around the room. He knew Thranduil was weeping and wished to let his friend save face, but he needed to move quickly. He circled behind Thranduil, lifted his hand and whispered words to put him to sleep then moved quickly to keep him from falling on the floor.

"Rest," Elrond said as he settled Thranduil as comfortably as possible. "Dream of Tauriel. When you wake you will feel better." 

\---

"Ada," Elrohir said as Elrond parted the curtain blocking Tauriel from the sight of the people in the healing ward. He looked at Legolas who was bent over a red headed Sylvan elleth, sobbing out his heart as Elladan stood with his hand on his back. A dark haired elleth sat in the corner watching with tears streaming down her face.  
Elrond took a deep breath and moved toward the bed. He looked down into Tauriel's face. He knew her from his dreams. Oh how he wished he'd moved more quickly.

"Legolas," Elrond said. "I am deeply sorry about your friend." Legolas sat up but didn't turn.

"Is there anything you can do for her?" he asked his voice ragged with emotion.

Elrond sighed and sat in the nearest chair. "I don't yet know. It's far too soon to tell. But I will try. If I cannot then I will send for someone who can."

Legolas traced his fingers along the side of Tauriel's face. "I shouldn't have left her. I was selfish, stupid and angry. I should have brought her with me and married her."

"What if she did not return your affections?" Elrond asked.

Legolas frowned as he turned to Elrond. "I have never considered that she would not. While I doubt her heart could fully recover from it's loss, she and I have always had such a special bond. Even if she didn't love me as I love her it would still be a good match."

Elrond tapped the tips of his fingers together. "And what if whilst you were gone she fell in love and developed a bond with someone else?"

"Did she?" Legolas asked curiously. His countenance shaded with jealousy. 

"It may not matter," Elrond answered. "When she wakes it is likely she will not remember him and it will be the end for him I fear. He has already lost one wife."

"But I will get another chance to win her heart," Legolas said as he failed to grasp what Elrond was telling him. "To do things right this time."

"If she is whole when she awakes," Elrond said. "She may return as nothing more than a wraith. You must prepare yourself for that and worse."

"Worse?" Legolas asked. "What could be worse than that?" Elrond shook his head unable to reply and Legolas sighed. 

"Of course you cannot tell me. I don't know why I bothered to ask." 

"I'm sorry," Elrond said. Legolas nodded once then turned back to Tauriel.

"I told you she was beautiful did I not?" he finally asked.

Elrond looked at Tauriel a moment then agreed. "Yes she is very beautiful. I am guessing much more so when conscious."  
Legolas smiled and petted Tauriel's hair. "She is. She's very bright, witty, funny, graceful and brave. She is the kindest, sweetest person I've yet known. And fierce, Elrond. She is strong and just... Everything."

"Oh," Elrond sighed as he put one hand to the side of his face then looked up at the ceiling. "Eru."


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter at 5k. You came dreadfully close to getting a rather sparsely written tangled thing of 6ish K. I began filling it out and it grew to a massive 15k (in two days mind you). I have chosen to break everything up into three chapters, possibly more. My target of making this whole story 15 chapters has been smashed to bits so I am aiming for 20 though maybe it will be 18 or so but given my verbosity by times you might get 30.
> 
> Thank you everyone for your brilliant and warm comments. I want to reply to each one, but I start feeling so overwhelmed and shy. I'm not sure what to say and thank you hardly seems enough. With each comment I want to wallow at your feet and kiss your toes. How strange would that be? I am a strange author indeed.
> 
> As always my thanks to my dear friend IronRoseofRivendell especially for unwittingly dealing with my existential angst. 
> 
> On my use of Elvish: Well it's there. The meaning isn't as important as the intent. There will come a time when I can go back and edit previous chapters and oooohhhh the changes that will be made. But that is then this is now and it is easier for both you and I right now. 
> 
> Please tell me what you think and then I'll angst over your reviews or lack thereof, try to answer, fail then give you another chapter in an attempt to recompense you for your words (or wonder why you read but say nothing... which is understandable because I don't respond back like an idiot.) I suppose there are worse things to angst over. Should I mention that I will try to reply?
> 
> Song for this chapter - Billy Joel - And So It Goes - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcUCYtyaLrY

Thranduil drifted back to consciousness in slow, aching increments. Someone was stroking his hair and he sighed and relaxed. It had only been a nightmare. Tauriel was with him. He reached out to take her hand as he opened his eyes and was shocked to find his head in Galion's lap.

"What are you doing?" he asked as he pushed at Galion violently, sending him backward, then sat up and blinked at Galion in confusion. "What happened?"

"Elrond bade you to rest," Galion answered as he scrambled to sit up. "I was guarding you from nightmares. You seemed to have had a few but I managed to chase them away." He smiled at Thranduil weakly.

"Tauriel?" Thranduil asked as he bowed his head. The emptiness in his soul gave him the answer he sought and yet he still needed to hear the words to accept them. His stomach turned as he trembled.

Galion sighed and shook his head. "If she wakes. She won't remember you. It is unlikely that she'll even remember her name."

Thranduil hissed in pain then drew one knee up to his chest and rested his forehead against it. "I suppose this pleases you."

"How could I be pleased to see you hurt?" Galion asked as he reached out but then thought better of touching his king. Thranduil's only answer was to turn his head and give Galion a blank look.

"Legolas is home." Thranduil finally said. "He came with Elrond and his sons. How odd that their arrival was so timely."

Galion took several deep calming breaths while Thranduil watched from narrowed eyes. "Elrond's gift of foresight is strong," Galion said as he shifted his robes. "I've found it's best not to question such things. Haven't you?"

"Did you know of their plans, Galion?" Thranduil asked as he lifted his head and speared Galion with a searching gaze. "Did you know Radon and Nestion intended to harm Tauriel?"

Galion responded with a brittle laugh. "Do you really believe I would allow harm to come to Tauriel and risk wounding Legolas? You know my feelings on the matter."

"And yet Tauriel lives," Thranduil said then made to stand. His whole body ached and a familiar sorrow settled on his shoulders like a heavy mantle he would never again be able to lift. "And will have very conveniently for your purposes forgotten even her dwarve, if you are lucky."

Galion shook his head as he too stood. "I am not responsible for the actions of others."

"And was it not you who brought Radon to speak with me of his so-called fears of an orc encampment when you off all people knew I wouldn't hear him? Your jealousy has made you careless."

Thranduil walked around Galion, resisting the urge to beat a confession from him.

Galion lifted his chin. "I am just as much a victim of this as you are."

"Do not lie to me!" Thranduil roared and Galion shrank in upon himself. "I see your hand in this Galion. It absolutely reeks of your plotting."

"No!" Galion said as he reached out and grabbed Thranduil's arm. "My Lord please here me. Please understand that I would not have had Tauriel injured. You are not thinking clearly and lashing out." He shrank back as two guards ran into the room.

"Take this traitor and put him in the dungeon with the other filth," Thranduil said as he brushed Galion from his arm with a sharp yank. It took every ounce of his control not to draw his sword and separate Galion's head from his body.

"Please," Galion cried as the guards lifted him from the floor. "I have done nothing but served you and looked out for your best interests! My lord!"

Galion continued to call as Thranduil walked away and the guard dragged him to the dungeon. Not long after Galion's cries faded, Uron appeared.

"What have you learned?" Thranduil asked as he braced himself against a pillar, feeling weak and tired but determined not to show it.

Uron bowed then shook his head. "Neither Radon nor Nestion have yet been willing to talk. I had them separated. Radon is being watched for fear he will do harm to himself. Nestion is defiant and has wished death upon Tauriel several times."

Thranduil clenched and unclenched his fists as he fought off the desire to run to the dungeon and deal with Nestion's threats in the most vicious and violent way possible. He took a deep breath and looked at Uron.

"Is there evidence of any others involved?"

"Other than Galion?" Uron asked. "No. I am not even certain that Galion is anything more than a victim of circumstance. It seems strange for him to turn traitor so suddenly. All those I have spoken to have expressed shock and sorrow. I have sensed no ill will toward her. I have spoken to Galion and his vow that he would never hurt her rings true."

Thranduil shook his head. "I am certain he is involved. Do not let him fool you. Galion has motive and he had the means to support Radon and Nestion. I want him locked away until it is proven otherwise."

Uron sighed and agreed. "I have spoken to Mae. She says Legolas and his two friends and Lord Elrond have been Tauriel's only visitors. Nothing else has been out of the ordinary or suspicious."

"Where are they now?" Thranduil asked while he forced his tired eyes to open.

"Elrond is in the library and Legolas has taken his friends to the training grounds," Uron answered. "It is safe for you to visit Tauriel if you'd prefer to go unnoticed."

"I will see to her later," Thranduil said if he saw her now he felt as though he would shatter. "Until then I would like Mae to keep watch over her."

Uron smiled sadly. "It is a task she takes on gladly."

"Good," Thranduil said. "Try interrogating Radon again. He may be the weak link. We will speak again in the morning."

"My Lord," Uron bowed then left the room.

\---

Though Legolas tread softly Thranduil still felt him enter the room as he sat trying to pull himself together before visiting Tauriel. He turned to look at his son who stopped mid-step.

"Adar," Legolas said then straightened his shoulders and walked around to sit in the chair across from his father. He sighed as he noted the glass of wine and two empty bottles.

"Ion nin," Thranduil replied as he held up his cup in greeting. "It brings me sorrow that your homecoming has not been well received. I would have ordered a celebration but given the circumstances it seemed inappropriate."

Legolas shook his head. "I'm not much in the mood and were I looking for a party I would have sent word ahead so you could prepare."

"Are you home to stay? Have you forgiven me?" Thranduil asked in a bitter tone then drank down the contents of his cup.

"It wasn't your fault that Tauriel fell in love with a dwar.. with Kili," Legolas said. "I could have confessed my heart to her. You have always been cautious - I cannot blame you for that."

"Perhaps," Thranduil told his son as he poured himself another cup of wine. "Though I must admit my motives for advising you to wait were more selfish than I would have admitted at the time. There are a great many things you can blame me for."

Legolas nodded. "There are no guarantees in life or love, Ada. I know you were afraid Tauriel would fall in battle and my heart would be broken, but I've found I am mourning the time I didn't have with her." Thranduil said nothing as he emptied his cup.

"I was selfish to leave as I did. I knew you would lift her banishment. You are not cruel," Legolas began. "I was hurt and feeling betrayed. I was also angry at you. I hoped time away would give her space to heal from Kili's death and I could come back and win her heart."

Thranduil put his cup on the table with a little more force than necessary. "You think after leaving her to suffer her loss alone, not only of Kili but of her occupation and place in my kingdom, that you could walk back into these halls and claim her? Tauriel was willing to give herself to love, to suffer for it. What of you? You ran away like a scared fox with his tail between his legs. You punished us both because you failed to get what wanted with little effort."

Legolas opened and closed his mouth a moment then hung his head. "You are right, Ada. I was hurt and I chose to deal with it like a child. My time spent with Elrond and his sons helped me see the error of my ways."

Thranduil's answering chuckle was cold and sent chills down Legolas' spine. "Perhaps it would be better if you stayed with those who could offer you such wisdom and maturity."

"They are open-hearted and giving," Legolas countered as he lifted his chin. "They are free with their affections and have made me feel cared for and cared about!"

Thranduil narrowed his eyes. "And when did I ever make you feel as if you were not cared for? You have been nothing less than the apple of my eye, my Little Greenleaf!"

"And as warm as a block of ice," Legolas countered. "I've never doubted that you love me, Ada, but I have never quite felt it, at least not after Naneth died."

"I thought..," Thranduil began then felt all his energy to argue fade. "I'm sorry Legolas. I paid a heavy price trying to save her life. It would have been better that she lived and I had died. Forgive me my failure."

Legolas wiped away the tears springing from his eyes and took a deep breath. "Ada I would not trade you for Naneth! I am grateful for the sacrifice you made, but I lost both my Naneth and Adar that day. You were never the same afterward. The father who laughed and danced, sang me songs and smiled was gone along with her."

Thranduil opened his mouth and Legolas held up his hand. "I know you tried, Ada. You tried so hard. I am unable to blame you. Losing Tauriel I can understand more than I had before."

"She is not entirely lost," Thranduil said his voice bleak and soft as he watched his son struggle with his own broken heart.

Legolas nodded. "If.. When she comes back to us. If she is still herself... I am taking her away from here. I will take her to Imladris where the shadow holds no sway and she will heal."

Thranduil closed his eyes. "Yes," he said. "That would be for the best I believe."

"And I would like to finally have your blessing to wed her. I will do so even if you won't give it but I would rather have it."

Thranduil swallowed the sorrow and grief that rose up from is heart telling him to deny Legolas the right to take Tauriel from him, she was his after all just as much as he was hers. He opened his mouth and found he had no voice.

"Ada?" Legolas asked as he watched the pained emotions flicker across his father's face.

"You are so certain that she will have you?" Thranduil finally questioned hoarsely. "What if she refuses you?"

Legolas smiled. "Tauriel is my friend and ever will be. If she refuses my proposal then I will support her in any venture she wishes. My love for her has no conditions."

"Then all I can do is wish you the best," Thranduil said. He gave his son a brittle smile. "If you will pardon me, Legolas, this has been a difficult day and I am finding that my body yearns for rest."  
Legolas stood with Thranduil then gave him a hug. "I love you, Ada."

Thranduil returned the embrace tightly wishing he could hold on to his son and never risk loss again. "I do also," he said and Legolas pulled away and smiled.

\---

Elrond was not used to resting in such confined quarters and yet he felt as if the sunlight was shinning in his eyes as the sounds of wailing and sorrow drifted around him.  
He could hear voices echoing through the halls all singing the same heart rending chorus, "Today is a dark day our beloved king is dead. Thranduil Opherion has faded away."

 

"No!" Elrond gasped as he sat up and chased the shadows of his vision out of his sight like cobwebs. He shook his head then blinked as he realized it was only a little past the midnight hour. He hurled himself from the chair he rested in and made his way to Thranduil's chambers only to be told the king was not there.

"Where is he?" Elrond asked. The guard shook his head and refused to say, which left Elrond to wander the halls trying to sense where Thranduil had gone.

He finally found him in the house of healing, laying with Tauriel wrapped in his arms. He frowned at the rare, small smile that curled itself up at the corner of Thranduil's lips then sighed in relief, at least for the moment.

Elrond lifted his hand to hold it over Tauriel's heart. Her fae was erratic and hard to read but he could feel that it reacted to Thranduil's. Thranduil's fae on the other hand had gone from brilliant silver to steel gray.

"Lord Elrond?" Lalathion whispered as he appeared in the room. He cast an indulgent look at Tauriel and Thranduil then turned his attention back to Elrond. "Is there anything I can get for you?"

Elrond shook his head and beckoned the healer to step closer. "Speak with me Lalathion. You are a wise healer and I am in need of counsel."

"It would be my greatest honor," Lalathion said as he pulled up a chair and sat beside him. "Have no fear they will not awaken."

"I see that," Elrond said. "Your doing?"

"The king is not well," Lalathion announced. "Putting him into a sleep beside her seemed to be the best medicine."

Elrond raised his eyebrows. "You mean he didn't put himself in her bed?"

Lalathion chuckled. "No," he sat beside her holding her hand until I laid sleep upon him. I tucked him in beside her and they both relaxed. Their fae is bonded."

"Is it? It's hard to tell at the moment. Tauriel's is far too turbulent to read," Elrond said.

Lalathion nodded. "You would understand if you had seen them before. The golden glow was unmistakable. The bond is true and deep. It as though the Valar made them as a pair. Like perfect puzzle pieces. It makes me yearn to find a love of my own." He sighed and shook his head.

Elrond smiled slightly. He and Celebrian had such a bond and with that realization he understood his disturbing vision from earlier. He was able to exist with Celebrian gone because she had not died. She had been damaged but yet lived. Through the distance he could feel her with him, even reach out to touch her mind in times of need. He couldn't imagine the agony of having that bond severed.

He shook his head also not understanding. Thranduil had a wife. He himself had known her and seen the depth of their love and caring. He was certain that Maldris waited with Mandos so how could it be that Thranduil could fall in love with and bond with another? As far as he was concerned it was completely unthinkable. He sighed heavily and decided that it was a tangle to be picked apart at a later date.

"Here is my problem," Elrond finally said. "The losses he has been dealt have made his fea weary. I believe he is fading." Lalathion jolted in shock and Elrond put his hand on the healer's arm.

"Can you not see how his fae has diminished?"

"I-I merely took that for his grief and his damaged fae," Lalathion said as he blinked owlishly at Elrond. He cast another look at Thranduil and sighed. "How could I have missed it?"

"Tauriel's fae is caught in a storm. It will pass but I don't know when," Elrond said.

"And you don't know what condition she will be in when it does," Lalathion added.

"Exactly," Elrond agreed.

"The king is our priority," Lalathion said. "If you have the means of helping him then do so."

Elrond sighed heavily. "I can help him or I can help her but not both."

"Please," Lalathion said. "Tauriel will not die. We cannot lose him, Lord Elrond."

Elrond nodded his head the decision made. "Please leave me in peace," he said. "Let no one disturb me until I have finished. I would like you to make me a revitalizing drink and have it ready for me."

"I will. Thank you, My Lord," Lalathion said then bowed and left the room, making sure to secure the curtains as he left.

Elrond sat back in his seat and closed his eyes he had something to do before he began work on Thranduil and he prayed that she would be close enough to hear him through the darkness of shadow.

When he was done he shook off his previous work then stood and put his hand on Thranduil's head. He had done this once before for the king of the woodland realm and never imagined he would do it again.

"Anor valthen," he began as he channeled as much energy as he could spare into Thranduil. "Togo laugas lín nestad enin gûr hen. Ceven dhaer, anno vellas lín enin 'raw hen. Suil Annui, erio thûl lín i faer hen."

Elrond repeated the words until his knees gave out and he found himself sitting and watching a gold glow ebbing and flowing around Thranduil and more weakly around Tauriel in gloriously delicate, sparkling filaments.

Seeing it for himself he wondered how Legolas would take the news that the elleth he loved with such passion, belonged to his father, for there could be no severing of such a bond.  
\--

Thranduil opened his eyes reluctantly at first then fully when he realized he was in bed with Tauriel. He took several long deep breaths as a feeling of well being rushed through him. He kissed the top of her head and moved to try to wake her.

"She's not going to wake yet," Elrond said from where he sat, far too tired to move.

Thranduil jolted at Elrond's voice and looked at him in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"Watching over you," Elrond answered. "Though you should wake unless you want to be discovered by Legolas and my sons."

Thranduil reluctantly moved from the bed, taking time to settle Tauriel against the pillows and to tuck the blankets around her. He bent down and kissed her lips then straightened as Legolas parted the curtains.

"How is she?" Legolas asked and Thranduil turned to look at him at a loss for words. Elrond shook his head as he studied the situation.

"Her state is for the most part unchanged," Elrond began. "Though her fae is beginning to settle."

Legolas ignored his father as he moved closer to Tauriel. "You have been watching over her all night?"

"Both your father and I have been with her," Elrond said.

Legolas looked at Thranduil whose gaze was now fastened to the floor. "Thank you, Ada. It means so much to me that you would take the time to care for her."

Elrond put his hand over his mouth and Thranduil coughed. "My care for Tauriel has little to do with you, Legolas." he said tersely then turned and walked away. Legolas looked at Elrond who shook his head.

"Is she awake?" Elladan asked.

"I dreamed she woke," Elrohir said. "But my dreams are not as Adar's." He looked at Elrond and smiled. "Good morning, Ada. You look as though you've not slept in a year."

"Yes," Elrond said as he held back his amusement at his son's comment. "As such I am going to stay here for awhile and rest as I watch over Tauriel." He noted the dark haired elleth who slipped quietly into the room and sat in the corner, quiet as a mouse.

Legolas brushed his hand over Tauriel's forehead and gave her a tender smile before bending to kiss the top of her head. He blushed when he found everyone in the room watching then cleared his throat.

"Lord Elrond," he said. "I thought it might interest Elladan and Elrohir if I took them out into the wood. It has been long since they've visited and there are a few of my favorite haunts I'd like to share."

Elrond nodded his head. "I'm glad we are here to keep you occupied, Legolas. There is little for you to do for now. Yes, go take Elladan and Elrhoir though please try not to stir up trouble."

"Of course," Legolas said then cast a quick look at Tauriel before leading Elladan and Elrohir away.

Elrond turned as Lalathion handed him a cup of frothing liquid. "I heard the king awaken," Lalathion told him. "Thank you for all you have done."

Elrond sighed. "I've done precious little." He took a sip of tea and sighed in pleasure.

"The king was much better this morning," Lalathion said then frowned as he caught sight of Mae from the corner of his eye. He bowed to Elrond and left him alone.

"How long are you going to sit there?" Elrond finally asked the elleth sitting quietly in the corner.

Mae looked up from the hem of her dress, which she was picking at. "I didn't think you knew I was here, My Lord," she answered. "I am here until Thranduil-King returns."

"Your name?" Elrond asked.

"Maethoreth," she answered. "I am Tauriel's closest friend."

"So you know of the bond between Thranduil and herself?" Elrond asked as he arched his eyebrows at her as he looked at her sideways.

Mae was silent for so long that Elrond turned to fully look at her. She gave him a considering look then nodded her head. "I tried to discourage it. But it made them both so happy. In fact, I've never seen our king so happy in all my days. I didn't think it possible. The Valar blessed him when they sent us Tauriel."

"Yes," Elrond said with a sad smile before he rubbed his forehead with one finger in frustration.  
\---

It was late in the evening when Elrond knocked at the door to his apartments and asked Thranduil to talk with him. It was with a great deal of reluctance and ill feelings of loneliness that he allowed Elrond inside.

"May I get you something to drink?" Thranduil asked. "I have wine and water but I can always send for tea or fruit juice or milk if you'd like."

Elrond smiled as he took his seat. "You are offering me fruit juice and milk, Thranduil? Should I be flattered that you offer me elfling refreshments?"

Thranduil gave Elrond a weary look. "I was merely presenting you with options as would a good host."

"And you often offer them milk?" Elrond asked. "What kind of milk is it?"

"Goat milk of course," Thranduil answered sharply. "Is this what you came to speak to me about? Goat milk and juice? The juice would be apple, likely cider. If you want to know where the apples came from my people have orchards. Any other questions?"

"I didn't come to talk to you about milk or juice or any type of agricultural venture, though I am curious about the apples. I was unaware any were produced in your realm. I have a few groves of plum trees perhaps we can trade." Thranduil gave Elrond an irritated look which made Elrond chuckle as he sat back and made himself a little more comfortable.

"You have windows," Elrond remarked. "And here I thought you spent all your time burrowed in the dark like a badger."

Thranduil sighed. "There is a small garden outside the balcony. Now we are discussing architecture or are you just trying to compare my temperament to a woodland animal? I know. You came here to insult me."

"I came here to try to learn how the relationship between you and Tauriel began. How long has it been going on?" Elrond watched as Thranduil poured himself a glass of wine.

"Since Autumn," Thranduil answered. "So only a few short months."

Elrond's eyebrows rose. "I do not believe that a bond such that I have seen glimmering around the both of you grew to such depth in the matter of months."

Thranduil sighed heavily as he leaned back in his chair and looked at the ceiling. "You are right it began long ago, but I refused to encourage it's growth and hoped that my refusal to feed it would see to its death."

"Will you tell me how it began?" Elrond asked.

Thranduil scowled at him before taking a sip of wine. "So this is actually story time. Are you certain you don't want milk? I can have it warmed for you."

Elrond shook his head. "I am trying to understand and in so doing help her. Tell me how it began."

Thranduil looked into his cup and watched as he swirled the wine. "It grew when I was giving her sword lessons but likely was seeded far before then. I had been teaching Legolas and as his constant companion she some how joined.

Legolas became proficient with the sword over time and I was pleased with his ability but Tauriel was still lacking. We thought nothing of it when I sent Legolas off to other pursuits and began training Tauriel on her own."

_"Look how you are gripping the sword," Thranduil admonished as Tauriel stood before him holding her sword aloft tightly with both hands up and high._

_"You're holding it as though it is a stick and you are going to bash someone over the head with it."_

_Tauriel shifted her position and looked at Thranduil for approval. He walked over and tapped her fingers with his own. "Loosen your grip. Your fingers are going to go numb and you will lose your hold on the sword."_

_"It's too heavy," Tauriel complained. "If I don't hold on to it I'll drop it. Why can't I have my lighter sword back?"_

_"This sword is meant for slicing and will be much more useful in battle. It needs to be heavier." He pried the weapon from Tauriel's hand and showed her the blade._

_"Do you see how sharp it is along the edges. Your lighter sword is meant for stabbing and won't help much when your opponent is larger or closer. This will do much more damage."_

_Tauriel sighed. "If I want to hack and slice then I'd use an ax. I would think my daggers would be good enough for closer combat."_

_"You have to get too close to your opponent," Thranduil told her. "I would rather you kept a bit more distance and had the leverage the blade will give you to push them back."_

_"Fine," Tauriel said as she held out her hand for her sword. "So are we going to talk all day or are we going to fight?"_

_Thranduil gave her an amused look. "Let me make sure your armor is on correctly."_

_"I hate this unwieldy, bulky armor, My Lord. How am I expected to move in it?" Tauriel asked as she turned so he could inspect the buckles and refasten them tighter much to her irritation._

_"You'll get used to it," Thranduil told her as he checked her leather bracers. "These should be steel." He tapped them and Tauriel frowned._

_"_ _I am a wood elf, Sir," she said. It was a common argument. She contended that her battle style was meant to be light and quick and not bogged down by any unnecessary weight._

_"A wood elf you may be, Tauriel, but that should not limit you to learning only one way of fighting." Thranduil gave her a grim look as he finished positioning her arm braces then stepped back._

_"We fight now?" Tauriel asked she watched as Thranduil pulled his sword then smiled and surprised him by being the first to attack._

_Thranduil was proud of her. Her skills with the sword were improving, but more than that teaching her was a pleasure. He loved the way she moved. He loved the look on her face as she fought. He loved... He stopped._

_"You're flagging!" Tauriel announced happily as she came at him with several quick spinning attacks that he deflected with less grace than usual as he tried to come to term with his thoughts._

_Thranduil's heart was thumping in his ears. Not from the exertion of battle but from the realization of his feelings. His breath caught as he took in the fierce, triumphant expression on her face and he was gripped by a hunger he'd never quite felt before._

 "Y _ield!" she told him as she pushed him back until he was against the wall with her blade at his throat. Thranduil soaked in her expression for a brief moment before blocking her sword, sending her spinning then moving to knock her to the ground._

_"Cheater!" she yelled as she tried to stand but soon he was over her his face merely inches from hers and she quieted as she met his eyes._

_"Cheater," she whispered and let her gaze flicker to his mouth. It was enough of an invitation for Thranduil and he dipped his head down to claim her lips with his own. Her arms immediately went around him and he shifted and moved so he could pull her into his arms and hold her._

_He had no idea how long he sat with her in his arms, learning the taste and the feel of her. He knew she'd let him remove her armor but otherwise his senses were lost in her._

_She became pure white light as she opened to him, her boldness daring to chase away all the dark shadows of his fae and when he came back to reality it was to find his face buried in her neck, his hands on her naked breasts and her panting as she tilted her head back._

_He would have claimed her then and there had he not come to his senses. What was he doing with this young elleth? She was pure and good and.. What was he doing?_

_"Tauriel," he whispered against her ear and he closed his eyes as she shivered. There was no way to get out of this without damaging her. His heart twisted painfully. He had no right to her. No right to claim her. What sort of monster was he?_

_"It's alright," she soothed as she threaded her fingers through his hair. "I wanted this too. I have for a long time."_

_"Tauriel," he said again. Her name would ever be like a prayer that he whispered in dark lonely hours when another's name should have been gracing his lips. He never wanted to utter that name again, only Tauriel, Tauriel, Tauriel. What had he done?_

_Part of him, a very hard, loud and obnoxiously insistent part of him wanted to move forward and finish what they had now begun. Claim her! Complete the bond! She is yours!_

_"I'm sorry," he finally said his breath barely more than a hoarse whisper._

_"I am not," she told him._

_He held her tighter. "We cannot go forward from here, Tauriel. I have nothing to give you."_

_"Lies," Tauriel replied as she pulled back and looked into his face. "You have already given me my hearts desire."_

_Thranduil took a deep breath against her skin. "You don't understand. Nothing good can come from this. The should not have happened. It cannot happen."_

_"I know that too," Tauriel told him. "I think. But let's just stay here in this moment. An answer will come to us." She kissed him wherever her lips would reach though he refused to lift his head and meet her mouth._

_"I will give you my memory of this," she finally told him when he refused to respond to her caresses._

_"And our training will stop," Thranduil added sadly._

_Tauriel sighed and pressed herself into him. "It will hurt us both, but not so much as knowing what is between us but cannot have. You can do it right? Take my memory of this? Turn it into an argument, a nasty fight."_

_"You will hate me," Thranduil told her as he stroked her hair. In that moment his love for her deepened into something so beautiful and profound he had to catch his breath and hold it._

 

"And so I did," Thranduil told Elrond. "I took her memory and bound it into a fight and after we rarely spoke and only of battles, of orcs, goblins and spider's nests. I did see to it that she became Captain of the Guard because it would put her in my path. It was my way of not losing her.

"Oh," Elrond said as he took an empty cup from the table and filled it with wine. "Eru." With that he drank it down.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have fallen 200 words short of 8k.
> 
> Thank you everyone for your kind reviews.
> 
> Song for this chapter - Eurielle - Cry (Sima ft.Take That) Cover - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRJeWcwWgME

The dungeon was not a place Thranduil was keen to visit and was one of the view places in his halls that he tried to avoid. He had put the visit off until morning with Uron accompanying him.  Normally, he would have prisoners brought to his throne room, but he didn't feel he could trust himself not to slay them where they stood. It was better to keep the bars of a cell between them.

  
As he and Uron walked through the echoing halls he couldn't help but wish Tauriel was leading him except he was also was glad she was no longer his captain of the guard. If anything good had come from the events of that Autumn it had been insuring her safety.

"Radon," he ordered as he stood looking into the darkened cell with Uron behind him. "Arise now and address your king."

"My Lord," Radon's response was immediate as he appeared on his hands and knees at the cell door.

Thranduil swallowed back his rage and as the ellon dared to lift his head and hold his gaze for a moment before dropping it to the floor. He wanted to kick that head off of Radon's shoulders, crush it under foot and any number of brutal acts.

"What have you to say for yourself?" Thranduil finally asked as Uron shifted beside him as if he had read his mind. Thranduil wondered if Uron would help him execute the three or try to stop him.

"Nothing," Radon answered. "I have nothing to say. No defense."

Thranduil clinched his hands into fists. "You and Nestion plotted against Tauriel and myself and in so doing this whole kingdom. Do you understand the weight of what you have done?"

"I have nothing to say," Radon answered as he pressed the top of his head to the bars.

  
"Who other than Nestion were your accomplices in your effort to kill Tauriel?" Thranduil asked.

"No one," Radon said. "And It was not my desire to kill Tauriel, but to release her from the illness that gripped her. To save her and yourself, My Lord."

Thranduil took a deep breath and walked away from Radon's cell only to find himself standing before Galion, who stood with his hands clasping the bars of his cell. His eyes were sad and haunted.

"My Lord," Galion said and bowed. Thranduil looked at him a moment then walked away. Uron gave a brief look to Galion then followed.

"Nestion," Thranduil said as he crossed his arms over his chest, other than Galion this was the one he wanted to deal with least. "You have been charged with treason."

"And I am unrepentant," Nestion said from the darkness of his cell. "My only regret is that the whore still lives." Thranduil held his composure,turned to Uron nodded once and walked out.

"What are your orders?" Uron asked as they exited the dungeons and breathed deep the fresh air

Thranduil shook his head. "My ability to reason in this situation is compromised. I will call for a council to hear their case and decide their punishment."

"I would not object to beating them senseless," Uron said. "But I suppose that is out of the question."

Thranduil nodded his head. "I wish circumstances allowed for such. I would be grateful for your assistance, however I cannot allow it. Justice must be served through other means."

"May I ask a favor?" Uron asked before they parted. Thranduil gave him a weary look.

"It is Mae," Uron began. "She does not wish to leave Tauriel's side, but she needs to rest. If you could lift your orders or order her away to rest I would be grateful."

Thranduil stopped walking and looked at Uron. "I've been thoughtless, Uron, forgive me. Of course. I will release Mae when I check on Tauriel." He paused. "Have you seen Legolas?"

"He took Elrond's sons out to enjoy the spring," Uron answered.

"Then I shall visit Tauriel shortly," Thranduil told him.

\---

Legolas breezed into the house of healing carrying with him the fragrance of the forest and an armful of small purple spring flowers. He placed them around Tauriel then brushed her cheek with his fingers.

"Good day, Tauri," he said as he sat and took her hand. "I wish you were awake. The forest is breathing spring and you're missing it." He paused as if waiting for an answer.

"In the clearing," he said after a long silence. "The one we favor - the birds were singing and the trees are covered with little green buds of life. Our friend the doe has given birth to a fawn and it is a delight to see it amble around on its long legs."

He flipped her hand in his and began tracing the lines of her palm. "And the sky, Tauri. It is so endlessly blue. Remember our dream of sleeping on the clouds? Remember how we used to dance and spin on the dewy green spring mornings? You must wake or you will miss it all!"

Legolas flipped her hand and examined her fingers, tracing the tips of his along her nails. "And I would like you to meet Elladan and Elrohir. I think you would like them as much as I do. They are honorable and congenial companions. "

"Legolas?" Lalathion asked as he parted the curtain and looked into the room. He shot a look at Mae who was asleep on the cot he had brought for her then back to Legolas.

Legolas smiled warmly at the healer. "Good morning," he said. "I came to bring Tauriel her favorite flowers. I thought the scent might help wake her."

Lalathion folded his hands in his robes as he walked closer to Tauriel's bed and looked down at her. "It cannot hurt to stimulate her senses."

"I suppose there has been no change," Legolas said as he petted her arm.

Lalathion tilted his head. "Her fae has settled but is still too tangled. I doubt she is even able to dream." There were times when he came to check on her that her fae was almost nonexistent and he feared having to deliver unwanted news before it came flaring back with a blinding golden intensity and he was made weak with relief.

"Did my father and Lord Elrond visit her last night?" Legolas asked then turned to look at Mae as she stirred in her cot in the corner of the room.

"Only Lord Elrond," Mae answered for Lalathion who rushed out of the room as she sat up and pushed her hair from her face. He returned with warm drink and passed it to her with a bow before leaving her to speak with Legolas.

Legolas gave her a fond smile then picked up one of the blooms he brought for Tauriel. "I hear tell that you and Uron are to be married this summer."

Mae smiled. "Yes, I asked Tauriel to stand for me and I do believe Uron was hoping you would stand for him."

"If he asks it would be an honor," Legolas said as he began threading his fingers through Tauriel's hair. "I would hope you would do the same should Tauriel agree to wed me. It would be in Imladris. Would you be willing to leave the forest for such an occasion?"

Mae frowned and shook her head. "If such an event were to occur it would be my honor to attend. But..."

Legolas frowned. "But you don't think she will wake? Or you don't think she would accept me?"

Mae sighed and shook her head. "I am not one to say what Tauriel will or will not do. She has always has a way of doing the unexpected. Do you remember when she first came to us? A wild young thing, all teeth, hair and ferocity?"

Legolas smiled as he began weaving flowers into Tauriel's hair. Mae watched him for a moment then shifted uncomfortably before reaching out to take over his project.

"She was so small and brave," Legolas said as he released flowers into Mae's care. "A little elfling of twenty. I remember her riding in front of my father on his elk. She sat there like a queen with his arm wrapped around her and her halo of bright red hair shining in the sunlight.

"Do you remember how she refused to be separated from him?" Mae asked as she gave him a sideways glance. "How when he tried to pass her to a healer she cried and would only be soothed by him?"

Legolas nodded. "He single handedly pulled her from the jaws of a warg himself then killed the foul beast and fought off an army of orcs with her in one arm. I remember she didn't feel safe without him and for months and was allowed to sleep in a little cot beside his bed as he was the only one who could calm her. She was his shadow and would follow him everywhere hidden in his robes until finally she began trusting me as well.

"She adored him then, and I think he adored her too." He frowned and shook his head. "I wish they had never lost their affection for one another."

Mae coughed a little then sighed as she took Tauriel's hand from him and laid it on the bed. "I remember he was going to adopt her out to someone but you stopped him."

Legolas nodded. "It was like having a little sister at first and I realized how lonely I had been. She brought sunlight back into my life. Do you remember how I used to carry her on my shoulders while she shot with her pretend bow?"

"I was jealous," Mae said. "I wanted a big brother who would teach me how to fight and spoil me with sweets." Legolas laughed.

"You met Uron though and stopped running with us as much," he accused.

Mae smiled a soft secret smile. "Uron was not the brother I wanted, but I knew the moment we met that he was the friend and partner my heart longed for. I worked hard to earn his affections."

"Learning combat," Legolas teased. "How romantic, Maethoreth. But I suppose it was for the best. That's when I began taking Tauriel with me for fighting lessons with Ada."

Mae hummed as she nodded her head. "He took her on as a private student for a very long time. Weren't you jealous?"

Legolas gave her a wide eyed look. "I was pleased that Tauriel was learning how to defend herself from the best warrior I know. But," he stopped and frowned.  
"What is it?" Mae asked.

"It was during those lessons that a rift formed between them. I never fully understood what happened but suddenly Adar wanted nothing to do with her. He proclaimed that he had taught her all he could and retreated into his own world. He began drinking so much that Galion began watching over him more carefully."

"I remember how sad she was," Mae said.

Legolas nodded. "She cried in my arms, Mae. Utterly heartbroken. My own heart broke for her. I went to him and demanded why he was throwing away one of his children. He was so angry, Mae! He told me, "She is not my daughter. She is a Sylvan elf nothing more nothing less."

"Tauriel heard," Mae said as she finished putting the flowers in Tauriel's hair.

"Yes," Legolas agreed. "I tried to bridge the gap and bring them to peace with each other but Ada was resistant. He still favored her though and she avoided him as much as possible."

Mae looked up as the curtains parted and Lalathion poked his head in he looked at Mae then frowned. "Do you need any more tea, Mae? Legolas?"

Mae shook her head as she quickly turned away and Legolas declined the offer then looked at Mae. "Is there a problem between you and Lalathion?"

  
"No," Mae answered as she plucked at her fingers. "He has always been a little awkward and short tempered, it makes me uncomfortable."

Legolas smiled sadly, "But he is kind." He picked up Tauriel's hand again and stroked her fingers with his thumb.

"It wasn't until she had been captain of the guard for a few hundred years that I realized I loved her as more than just a friend," Legolas said. "But, I was content with things as they were and was confident that when I was ready she would be too. After that we were always too busy to pursue a relationship."

"And then there was Kili," Mae said. "I saw him but only once. He was very handsome, for a dwarve."

Legolas sighed. "It hurt, Mae and I felt betrayed. I don't blame her. It was my fault for not speaking, for leaving her heart free to be claimed. I was stupid and foolish and listened to Ada when he discouraged me from courting her."

"Why do you think he discouraged you?" Mae asked. She could see Lalathion just outside the curtains and shifted knowing his presence was meant to alert her that someone was on their way to see Tauriel.

"Because she is a soldier." Legolas said. "And she could die in battle. I understood his misgivings and gave in to him. I was wrong."

Mae was about to say something more when the curtain parted and Thranduil entered the room. She stood immediately and bowed.

"Mae," he said and bowed. "You have done a great service watching over Tauriel and I thank you. Go. Rest. Spend time with your beloved."

Mae shook her head. "It's no trouble for me to stay here, My Lord. I would rather..."

"No," Thranduil cut her off as he lifted his hand to silence her. "You may visit but a vigil is no longer necessary." He gave her a brittle smile then inclined his head as she bowed then left the room after telling Legolas good bye.

"What are you doing here, Ada?" Legolas asked as he picked up a lock of Tauriel's hair and began winding it around his finger.

Thranduil swallowed hard as he watched his son playing with Tauriel's hair, then shook himself out of his jealous thoughts. "I am here to check on her. I thought you were in the forest."

Legolas smiled. "I brought her favorite flowers." Thranduil frowned as he noted the flowers woven into Tauriel's hair. "Hopefully the scent of them will draw her memory."

"Flowers," Thranduil said as he took a seat beside his son. "Blooming already?"

"I helped them along a little. You should go out," Legolas suggested. "I know you haven't done any inspections. I've spoken to everyone. You are winter pale, you should get some sunlight."

"I do not wish for sunlight," Thranduil said gruffly as he plucked a blossom from Tauriel's hair. He disliked flowers. Their lives, though brilliant and beautiful were far too short for his sensibilities and he hated seeing them in Tauriel's hair, as if she too were a flower that would bloom only to die a quick death, like a mortal.

Legolas watched his father for a moment. "Have you spoken to Lord Elrond this morning? The last I knew he was in the library drowning in books."

"I have not," Thranduil answered. "And his sons, where are they?"

Legolas laughed, "They retired to their rooms with the intention of writing letters to friends. They will not admit it but I think there is an elleth who has caught their eye."

"An elleth?" Thranduil asked as he arched his eyebrows. "One elleth each or one elleth they both admire?"

Legolas shook his head. "One elleth they both admire. I pity her the choice."

Thranduil chuckled slightly, "Why do you think they would make bad husbands?"

"I think that it would be hard to choose one over the other."

Thranduil smirked. "And who would you choose? Elladan or Elrohir?" Legolas gave him an incredulous look and Thranduil's smile broadened.

"As I don't favor ellons I couldn't say," Legolas answered. "And separating them is unthinkable to me."

"So you would choose both," Thranduil decided and nodded at the shock and near outrage on his son's face. "I can understand not wanting to separate them. What odd bedfellows they would make. One wonders at the logistics of it. Would she sleep between them? Would they share time with her or designate shifts?"

  
"Really Adar!" Legolas yelled then looked at Tauriel a moment. His expression softened and he relaxed. "As for choosing anyone else, you know my heart is only for Tauriel." Thranduil shut his eyes only to open them to find Legolas watching him.

Thranduil then stood. "I have no more time to visit. I have a great deal to see to now that Galion is no longer in my service I need to find a new assistant and it is not a pleasurable experience. There is also a few matters to prepare for Spring Festival."

Legolas hesitated a moment he wanted to ask about Galion, but there was time. "Would you like my help?"

"I would be grateful to have it," Thranduil said. Legolas stood, kissed Tauriel's forehead then proceeded his father from the room. Thranduil cast her a longing look then left her to her slumber.

\---

"Ada," Legolas finally asked after delivering several documents for Thranduil. "Why is Galion no longer in your service? Where did he go?"

Thranduil took a deep breath and dismissed one of the advisers he interviewed for the position of his assistant. This one was too eager to move up in rank and would not do. He motioned for Legolas to sit.

"Would you like me to stay and take his place?" Legolas asked.

"No," Thranduil said as he shook his head. "When you take over such matters it will be as king not an assistant."

Legolas frowned. "I thought that was something I'd never have to consider. Taking your crown."

Thranduil gave Legolas a sharp look. "I used to feel the same about my father and his kingship, but then he fell in battle. This crown could pass to you without notice."

"I hope not," Legolas said and gave his father a fond look, "Unless it is your intent to sail. I hope to never lose you to death or fading."

"We do not always have such choices," Thranduil replied. " And I have another adviser to interview."

"And you have not told me what happened to Galion," Legolas said.

Thranduil grimaced at Legolas. "What you should be asking is how Tauriel's condition came to pass."

"You said she fell into the river," Legolas answered as he frowned at his father. "I didn't think questioning you for details was of any merit."

"She didn't fall as much as she was tied up and thrown in," Thranduil answered as he watched Legolas' expression fall into one of rare anger.

"Why?" Legolas asked as his eyes narrowed. "And by who?"

"Nestion and Radon," Thranduil answered. Legolas turned and looked at his father in shock.  
"

They are both good and worthy soldiers and friends of mine, are you certain?"

Thranduil nodded. "They were caught bearing her back to my halls unconscious and bound. I've not yet ascertained what they planned to do with her when they returned."

"Because of Kili?" Legolas asked softly as he cast his eyes down at his own folded hands. "I can understand how that might drive them to act against Tauri, but I do not see how Galion could be involved. In fact, you should talk to Elrond. He received a letter from him telling us we were needed."

"Galion sent Elrond a letter?" Thranduil asked sharply as he stood. "Did Elrond bring it with him?"

"I don't know if he did. We left the morning after he received it. What's going on, Ada?" Legolas followed his father down to the library where Elrond was reading a rather large dusty tome.

"Good afternoon, Thranduil, Legolas," he greeted as he looked up over the ancient pages. "Has something happened with Tauriel?"

"Galion sent you a letter?" Thranduil asked as he held out his hand. "May I see it?"

Elrond shook his head. "I do not have it on my person," he answered. "But I did bring it. What's going on?"

"Tauriel's asleep because of a plot to harm her!" Legolas told Elrond then walked around the table in distress. "And it is only now my father tells us that his assistant who has ever been a close friend to me and loyal companion toward him has plotted against her. I don't believe it, Elrond. I cannot!"

Elrond held Thranduil's gaze for a moment as if to ask what else he told Legolas, but Thranduil avoided the silent question. "I have called a counsel to have the traitors dealt with. I would like to use your letter as evidence if I may."

"Of course," Elrond replied as he stood. "Let me retrieve it."

"What have Radon and Nestion had to say for themselves?" Legolas asked as he followed his father and Elrond through the halls.

Thranduil sighed. "Stay away from them Legolas. I don't want you questioning them. Radon is dealing with them and I trust him completely."

"You trust no one completely," Legolas accused, his voice echoed down the hall. "And Galion. I just cannot believe it. I think you simply have something against him because he pushes you to take care of yourself! I refuse to believe he would involve himself in the harm of another, especially Tauriel!"

Elrond stopped and turned to Legolas. "Elladan and Elrohir are on the practice grounds. Go work of your anger with them. Your impending loss of self control is not helpful."

Legolas took a calming breath then bowed slightly to Elrond then nodded at his father. "We will speak later, Adar," he said then left Elrond to open his room.

"It is here," Elrond said as he produced the document from a bag and passed it to Thranduil who read it quickly.

"And I may have this?"

"Of course," Elrond told him. "I did think it odd that Galion would send me a letter marked with your seal. Though with the distressing dreams I was having I failed to question it. You think he meant to bring her harm?"

"I think he meant to separate us," Thranduil answered. "He held the belief that Legolas and Tauriel belong together and apparently was willing to see that they would be through any means possible."

"If she doesn't wake?" Elrond ask.

"If she doesn't wake or if she wakes and has lost herself in any way, laws or not. Kin slayer or not. I will see them punished, Elrond and I defy you to stop me."

Elrond shook his head. "You know I cannot allow..."

"I don't care what you can and cannot allow, Elrond. This is my kingdom." Thranduil yelled then walked away leaving Elrond to watch him go.

\---

It was later in the afternoon that Thranduil freed himself from work and made his way to the healing ward to visit Tauriel. Her fae was almost too dim to detect and it frightened him.

"Melonin," Thranduil whispered as he held Tauriel's hand and concentrated sending as much of his life force toward her as possible. "You need to wake." He was just about to bend forward and kiss her when he heard movement in the room.

"My Lord?" Uron called from behind the curtain. "I have just received word that Lady Galadriel and has entered the forest, accompanied by her guard."

Thranduil closed his eyes and mentally cursed at Elrond for calling for her. "Gather together your men and ride to meet her. Let Lord Elrond know as well. I will await her in the throne room."

"As you order," Uron replied.

"Tauriel," Thranduil said then bent and kissed her forehead. "She can wake you, but if at all possible, spare me the need to bow and scrape to Lady Galadriel in thanks for saving you." He paused and waited, but Tauriel didn't respond.

"Eru," he whispered as he put his clasped hands to his forehead and bent forward as several tears squeezed from his closed eyes. "If she wakes and does not remember - If she has forgotten then I will step aside for Legolas. If she wakes and remembers... " His voice broke and he cleared his throat. "Please let her remember."

Once he reached his rooms he gave in to the urge to give into his anger, growling viciously as he delved deep into his closet and picked out his darkest clothing. He wore a black shirt under a black jacket with a high collar, frog enclosures and metallic black embroidery over which he wore a black robes with black lining and black trousers tucked into black boots.

He put his winter crown on his head instead of the new spring crown he had recently been provided with and found he was pleased with how it suited his mood with the bareness and sharpness of the white winter branches. With the red berries and green holly leaves removed the crown was as bleak as he felt. He straightened his hair, taking the time to let his fingers brush against the braid Tauriel had hidden then went forth to meet Lady Galadriel.

He was sitting on his throne drawing on the majesty of the giant elk antlers and trying to calm his rising anger when she walked into the room as though she owned it, filling the room with her powerful presence.

"My lady," he said as he rose and walked down the steps to meet her, his hand extended toward her. "It is a pleasure to receive you in my humble halls."

Galadriel gave him an amused smile as she put her hand in his and allowed him to press his forehead to her fingers. "Thranduil Opherion," she said. "It is a pleasure to visit your home. I would dearly love if you would finally accept one of my many invitations for you to visit Lorien. Perhaps now that I am here you will return the favor?"

Thranduil gave her a cool smile. "My kingdom can rarely spare my presence, My Lady. Please forgive me my neglect."

"Not even a letter," Galadriel admonished as she narrowed her eyes at him. "To let me know how you and your people fare."

Thranduil lifted his chin and dared look down his nose at her though she was nearly as tall as he. "You do not need a letter from me to know such matters. Why should I waste my time?"

She gave him a slow blink, her eyes twinkling with amusement as she tucked her arm into his and allowed him to lead her to a seat. He offered her wine and she asked for water, which appeared quickly before her on the table.

"You are fading," Galadriel stated with little fanfare causing Thranduil to nearly drop the glass of wine he brought to his lips. She tilted her head. "Are you not aware?"

Thranduil set his cup on the table. "I am no fool to not sense my own well being," he told her. "I count it as a blessing. If Elrond would cease feeding me his accursed magic then perhaps we could hasten the event."

"Don't be foolish as your father was," Galadriel said. "You are acting as if all has already been lost."

Thranduil sighed. "I'm sure you are fully aware of the situation. I refuse to waste words on the subject."

"We won't let you fade," Galadriel warned him. "You are needed and Legolas has other paths to tread. I do not foresee your crown ever gracing his brow."

Thranduil laughed. "I don't care what you foresee and I do not care what you need, My Lady. You have never been concerned with me and my needs."

Galadriel inclined her head. "I have always been concerned with you. It was with your well being in mind that I sent Maldris to you from Lorien. She was a strong and capable queen as I knew she would be."

"Do you think to unsettle me with this information? I already know you sent her," Thranduil told her. "She was my wife. You don't think she told me everything?"

"Everything?" Galadriel repeated her eyes bright with millennia upon millennia of secrets. "She told you of Belegond?"

Thranduil shook his head. He hated that Galadriel always had some way to throw him so off kilter. "Who is Belegond?"

Galadriel sighed. "He was a great general. He died in battle and she nearly followed, but for the fact that she owed me a great debt. He was her betrothed of course. She did not tell you of him?"

"I am not liking where this is leading," Thranduil said as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Galadriel inclined her head. "That being said. I can wake Tauriel if you'd like. But I cannot set to right breech between yourself and Legolas. You will have to fix that on your own."

Thranduil stood and walked to the door. "If you can wake her then why do you sit here wasting my time?" He looked at Galadriel who stood and followed him to where Tauriel lay.

Elladan and Elrohir met them along the way and greeted Galadriel with a flurry of delight and laughter that left Thranduil standing in the halls sighing heavily as they asked after their sister and their grandfather.

"We will have time to talk later," Galadriel told them as her eyes shone with love for her grandsons. "For now there is a sleeping elleth who Lord Thranduil is impatient for me to see to."

"Legolas is with her," Elladan said. "He will be overjoyed to see you." Galadriel looked over her shoulder at Thranduil and gave him a smile and he scowled back in return.

Legolas jumped up when Galadriel entered the room and bowed deeply as he moved aside for The Lady to take his. He watched as Galadriel placed her hand over Tauriel.

"A deep sleep indeed," she said then frowned before turning to give Thranduil an accusing glance. He gritted his teeth and refused to rise to whatever anger she was trying to push him toward.

"Please leave us," she said to Legolas who bowed again then left the room. When Thranduil stepped back she reached out and grabbed his arm. "You. Stay."

Thranduil stepped aside as Legolas passed then moved to stand beside Galadriel who hand her hand over Tauriel's heart. She smiled then looked at Thranduil. "I must admit I am surprised, Thranduil. I treasure such wonders as they have become rare. I cannot begin to thank you enough for such a gift."

"Surprised?" Thranduil asked as he furrowed his eyebrows. "By what?"

Galadriel smiled then reached out and touched the furrow between his eyebrows and he jerked away in shock. She gave him another smile and turned back to Tauriel. "You have slept long enough young one. It is time to awaken."

Tauriel moaned softly and Thranduil whose hand was now held by Galadriel, squeezed and the lady squeezed back before freeing her fingers as she stepped aside. Tauriel's eyes fluttered open and Thranduil removed his crown and moved closer.

"My Lord?" Tauriel asked hoarsely as she looked up at Thranduil.

"I am here," he told her gently.

"I am glad, my king," she said then smiled and he fell to his knees beside her bed and began to weep as he pressed her hand to his lips. She turned her gaze to Galadriel.

"You are familiar," she said "Though I don't believe we have met.

Galadriel laughed softly. "Indeed, we have never met. I am Lady Galadriel and you are Lady Tauriel."

Tauriel's eyes widened and she sat up and tried to stand in order to give Galadriel the respect she deserved but Thranduil's arms moved around her waist and he buried his face in her lap.

"I don't understand," Tauriel said as she hesitantly put her hand on Thranduil's head. "What happened?"

Galadriel tilted her head to the side. "What is the last event you remember?"

Tauriel's eyes clouded with shadow. "I don't know. I remember..." She smiled slightly. "I have been appointed captain of the guard." She jolted at the muffled sob Thranduil made against her then looked at Galadriel in alarm.

"Thranduil," Galadriel began calmly as she put her hand on his shoulder. "You are frightening her."

Despite the strength of Galadriel supporting him, Thranduil found he was too weak with a confounding mix of emotions to move. He turned his head to rest on Tauriel's leg and took several deep breaths before finally pulling away and resting his forehead on her knee.

"My injuries must be grave for my king to behave so," Tauriel said as she petted his head. "But I feel well. Is Leg.. Is Legolas well?" Her eyes filled with sorrow and fear and worse as Thranduil began trembling.

"Legolas is waiting to speak with you," Galadriel said. "Rest assured he is whole and unharmed."

Tauriel gestured to the king who still had not found the strength to compose himself. "Then what is this?"

Galadriel gave her a sly smile. "Do not pretend that your king does not care a great deal for you, Tauriel. Do not deny what your heart knows to be true."

"And Legolas?" Tauriel asked. Her words were like a sword to Thranduil's heart and he finally managed to separate himself from her though doing so left him feeling sick and weak.

"Lalathion do you have a tonic for Thranduil?" Galadriel asked. "Valerian root perhaps?"

"I want nothing," Thranduil whispered as he managed to at the very least sit in the nearest chair.

Lalathion appeared with a cup which he handed to Galadriel who turned and commanded Thranduil to drink. Tauriel watched in rapt curiosity the battle of wills between the two before Thranduil finally took the tonic from her outstretched hand and drank the tonic.

"Help me stand," Thranduil ordered after emptying the cup. Lalathion who moved forward and helped the king onto his feet.

"I am no longer needed," he announced and walked from the room without looking back. He could not bare to witness the reunion between Legolas and Tauriel. Galadriel, curse her, followed.

"Leave me be," he demanded. "I have had enough of your meddling in my affairs. Go back to Lorien, your accursed work here is done." Galadriel said nothing as she followed him down to the dungeons, nodding to Elrond as he appeared beside her.

"Thranduil?" Elrond finally asked as he watched Thranduil take the cell keys from the guard. "You know you cannot kill them."

Thranduil's jaw set as he turned to Elrond. "Watch me," he said as he stopped before Galion's cell.

"My Lord," Galion said as he looked at Thranduil then Elrond and finally Galadriel. "My Lady," he cried out and fell to his knees. Please understand I did what I felt was in his best interest."

Thranduil pulled his sword and Galion winced as the ringing of it echoed through the chambers. "Tauriel has awoken," he said and Galion closed his eyes. "And it is all as you plotted."  
Galion took a deep breath. "Good. It is for the best." He bowed his head down, readying it for his king's strike.

"Thranduil stop," Galadriel commanded as he lifted his sword. He spared her a quick glance then turned and swung with the intention of beheading Galion. He growled in rage as Elrond's blade stopped his progress with a clash of steel. "Step aside!" he demanded.

"I will not let you do this!" Elrond yelled as his sword pushed Thranduil's away from Galion's neck. Galion jumped to his feet and Galadriel put him behind her to shield him.

"This is my kingdom. This is my rule. It is my law. If I command that he shall die by my sword then it shall be done!" Thranduil pushed Elrond back with all his might then turned to Galadriel who regarded him cooly.

"Your kingdom yes, but you still must adhere to the laws of the Eldar." Galadriel began. "There has been enough kin slaying amongst our people. I will not stand by and let it happen when I can stop it. I promise, justice will be served, but not this way, Thranduil."

"The laws of the Eldar," Thranduil said then snorted. "The laws of our people tell me I could not take another wife and yet I have bonded to Tauriel. What say you to that?"

Galadriel motioned to Elrond. "Have Galion moved to another cell," she said and he quickly bowed to do her bidding.

"Somethings are changeable," Galadriel began as she walked closer to Thranduil. "Eru knows what you have suffered, Thranduil."

"And then they take her away from me again." he said as his shoulders dropped in defeat. Galadriel circled around to block the door. She knew better than to trust that Thranduil's anger and desire for revenge was spent.

"She is alive yet," Galadriel told him as she moved closer.

Thranduil sheathed his sword. "They give her to me. Let me taste happiness once more then take her away. It is punishment not reward as you are trying to imply."

Galadriel reached out and put her hand on Thranduil's shoulder. "Blessings are rarely given without price. She may not remember but do you think her love for your has ceased to exist? She loved you before she was made captain of the guard, that is why you put her away from you."

"Stay out of my head," Thranduil growled. "I don't need you poking into matters which are not yours."

Galadriel smiled. "I am aware you think I am arrogant and meddling. Perhaps I am. But just as you have great love for your people so I do for mine."

"I am not your people," Thranduil spat then paused and sighed knowing his words were untrue. Galadriel turned as Elrond appeared in the door.

"The prisoner is safe," he said.

Galadriel held out her hand and looked at Thranduil who sighed and gave her the keys. "Justice will be done," she promised. "But there will not be any execution."

"If it makes you happier, Thranduil we can call your council and let them judge the traitors. The out come will be the same whether I pass it or they do," Galadriel continued then looked to him for his decision

"Fine pass judgment on them," Thranduil agreed.

"Thank you," Galadriel told him then looked at Elrond a moment. "Galion will be given the choice of sailing or banishment. The other two will be cast out and no Elven community will accept them. They will forever be without a people.

Thranduil shook his head. "And why should Galion be given such a boon, to sail and find his home with such little punishment?"

Galadriel watched Thranduil a moment before finally answering. "His service to you merits lenience. His intentions though twisted and wrong were well meaning. He has been affected by shadow and he will find the healing he needs on distant shores."

"And why should your judgement be accepted?" Thranduil asked.

Galadriel who had already turned and was walking out of the prison stopped and answered without looking back. "Because it is the judgment of the Valar." She shot a quick look at Elrond then left the two to talk.

"Tauriel is awake," Elrond said as he began leading Thranduil from the dungeon. "Isn't that reason enough to rejoice?" He gave his friend a smile and Thranduil rolled his eyes.  
\---

Legolas was pacing back and forth in the halls as his father and Galadriel left the room where Tauriel was waiting. He warred with wanting to follow his father and learn why he was so angry and going to Tauriel. She was closer so he chose her.

"Tauriel!" Legolas called then stopped short as she turned and gave him one of her most dazzling smiles.

"Legolas, mellon amin," she told him happily then laughed as he pulled her into a tight embrace.

"I am so glad you are awake and alive!" Legolas told her then pulled way so he could look into her face. She smiled at him a moment then looked over his shoulder at Elladan and Elrohir.

"Who are your friends?" she asked and Legolas laughed. He introduced them and she bowed courteously.

"Legolas has told us much about you," Elladan said as he returned her bow.

"He talks about you almost nonstop," Elrohir confessed then grinned as Legolas' face flushed.

Tauriel shot a quick look at Legolas then turned her attention back to Elrohir. "Does he? Why is that do you suppose?"

Elrohir grinned at her. "Because you are his dearest and closest friend," he answered then turned to her brother. "I like her. She is quick."

"And very beautiful," Elladan replied. "Just as Legolas has boasted."

"Please," Tauriel said as she rolled her eyes. "I am a common Sylvan elf with nothing special to recommend me."

"And modest," Elladan said to Elrohir. "A fighter and a lady."

"My dream elleth," Elrohir teased and shot a quick look at Legolas who gave him an amused look.

Tauriel laughed then turned to Legolas. "Your father was here when I awoke. He was upset and I know nothing save that I have been asleep. I do not know why. I do not know how long."

Elladan and Elrohir looked at each other a moment then turned to Legolas. "We will leave. It seems like you and Lady Tauriel have important matters to discuss."

"We will meet at the dinner hour," Legolas suggested. "Perhaps I can convince my father to hold a celebration in honor of Tauriel's return to health." The three elves smiled at each other for a moment before the twins took their leave.

"Sit," Legolas said as he pulled the curtains tight. "I will tell all. At least all I know."

"I knew I could depend on you," Tauriel answered then gave him an eager look as he took the chair opposite her.

Legolas took a deep breath and tried to decide where to start. Deep down he knew that he should wait for his father to relay all the details of the story, but he didn't want to miss his chance with Tauriel yet again.

"You fell into the enchanted river," Legolas began, deciding to leave out that it was not an accident. "You have been asleep for several days and we despaired of your waking when Lady Galadriel arrived and woke you."

Tauriel nodded her head and frowned. "And your father, why was he so upset?"

"I don't understand why my father does anything he does. You had been through a great deal together recently and he was worried for you is my best guess." Legolas reached out and took her hands.

"Your accident has taught me something important," he said then looked up to hold her gaze.

"Which is we shouldn't be cocky and think we are invincible?" Tauriel asked. "I think that would be more my lesson than yours. Though admittedly other than feeling a little confused and disoriented I seemed to have suffered no ill effects from my bath." She smiled and Legolas sighed.

"Yes, well you have forgotten a few things, but it doesn't matter they were not happy moments to lose," Legolas said. "In fact they were distressing and I am glad you no longer have to carry the burden."

Tauriel frowned and shook her head. "I would have all of my life experiences, Legolas. Not just the good for it is the bad moments which make us grateful for our blessings."

"I understand," Legolas said. "Which is why I am going to.. which is why I am going to move forward quickly with what I want to ask you."

"Oh?" Tauriel asked and smiled as she waited for his question.

"A dark shadow that you're probably not as familiar with as you were, has fallen over the wood, Tauriel. We live in dark times with a darker yet future ahead if my intuition is correct."

"The spiders and orcs have grown more prevalent?" Tauriel asked.

Legolas nodded his head. "Dul Guldur has cast a very long shadow over the woods. I would have you come with me to Imladris."

Tauriel shook her head. "I have a job to do here, Legolas. I am captain of the guard." She stopped as he shook his head.

"Uron is captain of the guard now," Legolas told her. "You are free to come with me. We can take our time and if you will allow I will court you for as long as you wish, but I am hoping that you'll consider marrying me right away. I know I am moving fast, but as I said, I have learned not to be so cautious."

"Marry you?" Tauriel asked as she pulled her hands from his. "I.. I don't know Legolas. I..."

"I love you, Tauri," Legolas confessed. "With all my heart."

Tauriel shook her head. "But you are my friend, Legolas. My brother in arms. My brother."

Legolas took a deep breath. "I know you might not share my feelings right away. But I ask that you give me a chance and I ask that you come with me so you can heal away from the shadow."

Tauriel swallowed hard. She could taste the saltiness of unshed tears in her mouth. She looked into Legolas' hopeful face and said. "But, Legolas I love another."

Legolas nodded his head. "I understand, Tauriel but I don't believe he returns your affections. If he did why has he not come forward? Why was he not at your bedside while we all worried for your life?"

Several tears slipped from Tauriel's eyes as she cast her sight to the floor. She wanted to tell him that the one she loved was by her side when she woke, that she loved his father even though she knew it was a hopeless and fruitless dream.

"Say you will come with me," Legolas continued. "Even if only as a friend. Give me a chance to win your heart. I know you despise my father. Think how good it will be to finally get away from him. I'm sure Lord Elrond would allow you into his guard."

"You would leave your father alone?" Tauriel asked as she sniffled then thanked him for handing her a handkerchief so she could wipe away her tears.

"I would see you happy and comfortable," Legolas told her. "You met my friends. They are wonderful companions and fierce fighters. We could both learn a great deal from them. All you have to do is say yes."

Tauriel bit her lip and looked around the room for a moment. "Can I have some time to decide?"

"Yes," Legolas told her as he gave her his sunniest smile. "Of course.

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes a new chapter already. I'm not sure how many words this one is. I know it's more than 5k. The last chapter was so angsty that I didn't want to leave my readers suffering. Unfortunately, there is angst in this chapter also. 
> 
> At the request of IronRoseofRivendell I am posting the songs I write each chapter. I tend to listen to one song the entire time I write a chapter. This one happens to have two. I personally never read to music but I do understand people find soundtracks interesting, if you are one of those type of people I hope you enjoy my music. 
> 
> Chapter Song (this one has two) - Poets of the Fall - Cradled in Love - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bp0AHQooVSY and Carnival of Rust https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we3EJLTV650 -

Tauriel felt disoriented as she sat on her bed n the healing ward while Lalathion checked her over. Mae and Legolas were nearby whispering back and forth so quickly she couldn't make out what they were saying.

"I would like Elrond and Galadriel to see you," Lalathion told her as he handed her a cup of water which she drank quickly then asked for more. "But I think you'll be fine to leave. If you still feel dizzy in the morning come see me."

"I'm not dizzy," Tauriel told him after swallowing down the second cup of water. "It's more of a sense of feeling out of time."

"You are out of time," Lalathion told her. "You lost several hundred years within the span of three days. Hopefully those memories will return to you."

Tauriel grimaced. "If they don't?"

"You'll adjust," Lalathion told her. "You will get used to the change and forget you've forgotten."

Tauriel gave him an exasperated look. "That's not very comforting." Lalathion put his hand on her shoulder then turned. "Tauriel is ready to leave. My advice is to take her to her rooms and let her familiarize herself with them."  
Legolas smiled and extended his hand to Tauriel who took it reluctantly and let him pull her into the hallway. 

"You don't have to worry about finding your way," Legolas said as Mae followed behind them. "Nothing in Adar's halls have changed. Even your room should be mostly as you remember it."

Mae cleared her throat then spoke up. "It's full of sewing," she said. "You have been spending most of your time working with my family doing embroidery."

"Ugh," Tauriel replied to Mae over her shoulder. "I hate embroidery, are you certain?" Mae nodded and she turned to Legolas. "Why am I no longer captain of the guard?" She had examined herself fairly well and found no wounds that would remove her from service.

"It's a long story," Legolas answered as they stopped in front of her door. He stepped aside and she opened it then gasped as she took in the changes. 

Her bed was different. It was larger and had been moved to the other side of the room. There was a tapestry on the wall she didn't recognize. Her wardrobe had been painted green with yellow and red flowers when it had been golden wood before. The table where she ate was square instead of round and it along with the chairs were also green with yellow and red flowers.

"Are you certain this is my room?" she asked as she turned to Legolas and Mae.

"You and I painted your furniture," Mae said. "During a very still and boring winter. Your bed is new and the blankets we sewed into a quilt from bits and pieces of our old clothes."

Tauriel walked to her dressing table and ran her hand along the brushes and combs, at least she recognized those as well the jewelry box. She picked up a silver necklace from the table and examined it a moment. 

"This cannot be mine," she said. It was beautiful and likely very costly.

Legolas reached out for the curling filigree pendant with a look of confusion on his face. "This belongs to my Adar," he said as he examined it in his palm. "See this mark?" he pointed to a pair of tiny swirling letters. "This is his mark."

"Maybe he lost it," Tauriel said and Legolas frowned down at the jewelry in his hand. 

"No," Mae interrupted. "He gave it to her. I was there. It was a peace offering."

Legolas shook his head. "He wore this against his skin for a very long time. I cannot see him gifting anyone such a personal gift. Though I do like the thought of a peace between them."

"And yet he did," Mae said as she took the pendant from Legolas then pushed between he and Tauriel and put the necklace in the jewelry box. "As I said I was there when he sent it to her. It was a peace offering."  
Tauriel shook her head then moved to examine the rest of the room. 

"These books are familiar and look Legolas," she lifted an intricately carved wooden knife from a shelf. "I remember when you gave this to me."

Legolas laughed. "A practice dagger so you wouldn't cut yourself," he told her. "I thought you were going to cut me for giving it to you." The truth of the matter was that the wooden blade was deadly sharp, he had just been proud of his carving and wanted to gift it to her. 

"I never needed a practice dagger," she laughed then sighed as she ran her hand along the shelf. "Did we have to paint everything green, Mae?" Mae's answer was to laugh.

"We couldn't find any other colors of paint but green, yellow and red," Legolas told her. "You said you liked green better than any other color so it didn't matter."

"But all my furniture is green now," Tauriel complained. "It's strange." Mae and Legolas looked at each other as she walked around.

"I know this is my room. These are my things, but it doesn't feel right." She frowned and sat on the chair near the fire place then frowned at the cushion she found there. She threw it on the floor then tilted her head back and sighed. She felt so restless and unsettled as though she belonged elsewhere.

Worse, Legolas and Mae were just standing there staring at her and even worse than that she was hungry, terribly, wretchedly hungry. "Let's go get something to eat," she said then stood. The world spun around her and the next she knew Legolas' arm was around her holding her up.

"We should take her back to Lalathion," Mae said in alarm.

"No," Legolas replied. "We should bring him here."

"No!" Tauriel said as she wriggled out of Legolas' embrace. She now felt even more strange and the world even more discordant. "I just need to move. I need to get something to eat and to walk for awhile. Maybe we can go to the training grounds and..."

"No," Legolas and Mae said in unison then looked at each other and smiled.

"That would be a bad idea," Legolas said he turned to Mae. "Do you want to go get her something to eat or should I go?"

"You go!" Tauriel said to Legolas eager for the chance to be away from him for a moment. "Please. It will give me time to change out of this gown and Mae can help me." Legolas looked at the white gown she had been given in the healing ward for a moment then blushed. 

"Right," he said as he turned toward the door. "I'll be back." 

"What do you want to wear?" Mae asked as Legolas closed the door. She swung the wardrobe open. "We have green, green, green and green." She gave Tauriel an amused look. "Did you say you have a problem with green?"

Tauriel folded her arms over her chest and smiled. "I like green well enough. I'm just not used to green furniture." She took the shirt Mae held out for her then threw off her gown and began dressing.

"Will you tell me about Legolas and I?" she asked as she buttoned her shirt then looked up at Mae who now had her back to her.

"You are not missing anything if that's what you want to know," Mae answered. "You've always been close friends. If there was anything else..." she paused. "Honestly there never was anything else between you. You are best   
friends as you've always been." 

Tauriel frowned. "He wants me to leave the wood."

"I know," Mae said and handed her a tunic and trousers. "And he wants you to marry him. But if you don't love him..."

Tauriel opened and closed her mouth. "I am uncertain of how I feel. How do I know I didn't love him before I had my accident?" She gave Mae a questioning look.

"As I said. You and he have been friends nothing more. If there were something you would have told me. Our friendship has never wavered. I still count you as my sister, Tauri and I always will."

"Thank you, Mae," Tauriel said. "It's a relief to have you of all people here by my side." 

Tauriel finished dressing then grabbed a comb from the dressing table intent on setting her hair back into it's usual style when she found the braid hidden in the hair behind her ear. She examined it thoughtfully - frowning at the ribbon of fair hair woven within it.

"Apparently there is more than you know," she said then looked up at Mae who reached out to touch the braid. "Why else would I braid his hair in with mine?" 

"Maybe it's not his," Mae replied softly she took the comb from Tauriel and took over braiding.

Tauriel looked at Mae through the mirror. "I am not close to anyone else with such fair hair." She tried to imagine Legolas giving her a lock of hair and accepting it in a romantic moment and failed. 

Her heart skipped a few beats. Thranduil had fair hair, but of course even obtaining one strand of his let alone enough to braid into hers was impossible. "It has to be Legolas'."

"Tauri," Mae began as she wrung her hands. "It's not what you think. That isn't..."

"I'm back," Legolas called as he opened the door. Several servants followed carrying a pot of stew, loafs of bread, fruit, cheese and pitchers of water. They placed them on the table then bowed to Legolas and left.

"Thank you, Legolas." Tauriel said and her mouth watered at the smell of the stew. She grabbed a bowl and began serving herself as she sat and both Legolas and Mae chuckled.

"Three days without food no wonder you're starving," Mae teased. Tauriel only looked at her as she shoveled food into her mouth.

"To be fair," Legolas said jumping to Tauriel's defense. "We don't know when last she ate."

Mae sighed. "True, especially considering she had no food in her room at all. I usually make bread for her. You know she's a bad baker."

"I'm not that bad of a cook," Tauriel said as she pulled a chunk of bread from nearby loaf and shoved it into her mouth.

"You can cook yes," Mae said as she grabbed the bread from Tauriel and cut it into slices. "But you've never quite mastered bread."

"She's impatient with it," Legolas said. "Sometimes when we are out scouting for a long period I make flatbread because Tauriel's are always under cooked and yet burnt somehow.

"With fish," Tauriel said with a full mouth then paused as she swallowed. "I always cook the fish."

"And I skin the rabbits," Legolas said fondly. "Because it always makes you feel bad."

"They're cute," Tauriel replied and frowned as she looked at the meat in her stew then put the spoon down. "Cute fuzzy little creatures and I hate killing them."

Legolas looked at Mae, "Which is why we usually eat fish or nothing at all when scouting unless someone remembers to bring lambas."

Tauriel pushed away her meal, no longer feeling hungry. "Let's get out of here." She stood then looked at Mae who started clearing the table.

"You two go," Mae said. "I'll straighten up in here and freshen up your bedding so you don't have to sleep in stale bed tonight." 

Legolas offered Tauriel his arm and she gave him a shove. "Stop it. I'm not an invalid." 

They hadn't walked far when they met Galadriel near a stone bridge leading to Thranduil's throne room. She was looking up toward the ceiling and both Legolas and Tauriel couldn't help but follow her vision but couldn't understand what she was seeing.

"How are you feeling?" Galadriel asked of Tauriel who jolted when she realize the words were not spoken aloud.

"I feel strange," Tauriel answered and Legolas gave her a worried look as he reached out to put his hand on her shoulder.

"Legolas," Galadriel began. "I would like some time alone with Tauriel. We will take a walk out in the forest and return shortly." Legolas let his arm drop then bowed as Galadriel motioned for Tauriel to proceed her.

"It is understandable that you feel strange," Galadriel said. "But how do you feel otherwise?"

"Weak and confused," Tauriel answered as they walked. "Unsettled and unhappy. I feel like I am missing something terribly important." She put her hand to her chest. "My heart feels empty as though someone I love dearly has been lost."

"It is not an easy thing to lose so much time," Galadriel said. "If you did not feel such things it would be cause for concern." She smiled as she spotted Elrond and Thranduil standing by the gate arguing then looked at Tauriel as she sensed the elleth's heart rate increase. 

Tauriel looked down at her feet. "I doubt the king will let us through the gate." She swallowed hard. As always, looking at Thranduil was difficult. He made her so angry with his indifferent and cold attitude but he was also incredibly beautiful and worse there was always something in his eyes that drew her that made her want to throw herself at his feet and beg for his attention.

"And how long have you felt such profound emotions for your king?" Galadriel asked. Tauriel jolted and looked at her with wide frightened eyes. "Fear not. I am not one to reveal the secrets of others."

Tauriel bit her lip and looked toward Thranduil. "I feel like I have always loved him," she answered softly. "It was on Ennyn Laer many, many years ago when I could no longer deny it to myself. He had drunk too much wine but was in a good mood. He and I sat for hours and just talked while everyone danced. We watched the stars together. " Tauriel smiled. "Being in his company has always felt so good and right and he was always so willing to share it with me. Maybe that's why I developed feelings for him. Even so it was his sweetness and tenderness with me which moved my heart."

"Sweet and tender are not two things many are able relate to Thranduil," Galadriel said then chuckled. "I can understand how such treatment would move your heart."

"It's more than that," Tauriel said her eyes bright with emotion. "He is strong and loves his people so fiercely. He makes me.. us all feel safe. I admire the sacrifice he makes for us all. His pain wounds me. He suffers so deeply and I wish so dearly that I could ease his sorrow and heal his wounds." She sighed and shook her head. "But I am just a silly elleth, a no one, and he is a great and mighty king."

Galadriel gave her a wry smile. "You underestimate yourself and your importance to your king and kingdom Lady Tauriel."

"I am no lady. I am just a soldier," Tauriel corrected then stopped and looked down at her feet as Thranduil and Elrond approach.

"Lady Tauriel," Elrond said as he held out his hand and she dutifully placed hers in his and looked up at him hesitantly. "It's very good to see you awake and walking about. How are you faring?"

"I am well," she answered as she dared glance a look at Thranduil from the corner of her eye. His attention was elsewhere so she allowed herself to relax. "I am unsettled and feel as if I am in the middle of a strange dream, but I'm told it will pass."

"We were going to take a walk amongst the trees," Galadriel said then smiled at Thranduil who looked for a moment like he was going to object before he finally bowed and stepped aside. 

"Enjoy your walk," he said and Tauriel bowed and followed Galadriel through the gate.

Thranduil watched them go then turned to Elrond who held up his hand. "You doubt her safety? She's with Galadriel no harm will befall her."

"It isn't Galadriel's ability to keep her safe that I do not trust but Galadriel's propensity for poking uninvited into everyone's mind. I would keep Tauriel safe from such exposure."

"You worry for nothing," Elrond said. "Do you really want us to leave before Maninor? We can stay and celebrate with you."

"The quicker you are all off the quicker things can return to normal," Thranduil said tersely.

Elrond shook his head. "And you really believe she will come with us?"

"I will order her to go if I must," he said as he clenched his hand into fists. "It is better this way."

"So you can fade away without interruption?" Elrond asked as he tilted his head to the side. "I don't think so."

Thranduil took a deep breath. "I will not fade away simply because Tauriel is gone. She lives. She is well. That is enough to keep me interested in life. Are you happy?"

"I would be happier if you would deal with this matter instead of putting the fear of breaking Legolas heart before everything else." Elrond said. "You underestimate him..."

"Do not dare to tell me what my son can and cannot endure!" Thranduil yelled as he turned on Elrond. "Do not tell me that taking that which he loves from him is the right thing! Or that I should be the cause of more of his suffering."

"And yet you give those who hurt Tauriel exactly what they wanted. What would you have done if Legolas had returned without their actions? Would you have pushed Tauriel away and denied your relationship?"

Thranduil growled as he began walking away from Elrond and growled more when he realized he was being followed. "This happened for a reason. I am able to undo a great wrong and it shall be done."

"No matter the cost," Elrond added and Thranduil gave him an angry look. 

"I would prefer that you didn't meddle in matters that do not concern you. I will not fade. I will endure. Legolas will not take my crown and will find happiness. What more could you ask for?"

"Your happiness perhaps," Elrond replied as he gave Thranduil a worried look.

"My happiness," Thranduil repeated then laughed a bitter hollow laugh. "Is inconsequential. It is not meant to be. Let me be as I have ever been Elrond and stop tormenting me. I beg you."  
\-----

Mae was waiting when Tauriel returned to her rooms and for that she was grateful. She was feeling too unsettled to be alone and worse she felt as though she had lived and entire lifespan in one day. 

"Much of the court has returned from their winter homes," Mae said as she watched Tauriel flop down into the chair by the fire and close her eyes. "People usually do not return until a few days before the official start of Spring. It's so strange."

Tauriel squeezed her eyes shut tightly. "They're probably here out of curiosity. Not only is Lord Elrond here but so is Lady Galadriel. We can't really blame anyone for wanting to get a look at her."

Mae nodded her head. "She is very beautiful, but also frightening. Her hair is more beautiful than all the legends about it. I imagine she has a thousand handmaidens to attend to it. What is she like?"

"Calm," Tauriel answered. "She is like... Like nothing I can describe. Peaceful, strong, wise and I think I would describe her as being like a star brought to earth. There is a power that flows from her with no effort and it is terrifying but comforting at the same time."

"I think I should be scared witless should she speak to me," Mae said. "You are much braver than I am. What about Lord Elrond? What is he like?"

Tauriel frowned and looked at Mae who was smiling at her. "I've not spoken to him much, but he seems kind. He has that same sense of power and peace that Lady Galadriel has."

"It is missing in our king," Mae said.

"Our king is much more turbulent. He has no peace, Mae. He is wise and powerful but he is like a raging storm. A swift running river filled with rocks just waiting for you to dash your head against them should you misstep."

Mae gave her a secret smile. "Well you do know him better than the rest of us."

"I fight with him more than the rest of us you mean," Tauriel said. "So what are we doing tonight?"

"You didn't hear?" Mae asked as she stood and opened Tauriel's wardrobe and started poking around as Tauriel watched her in confusion. "Since most of the court is back and Lady Galadriel and Lord Elrond is here we are all to meet in the dinning hall for a feast and celebration. It will be like an early start to Spring festivities I think."

"Lots of wine and dancing," Tauriel said then sighed. "I am glad I've an excuse to get of dancing. I can just feign illness."  
\---

"I am most pleased to find you and your wife well," Thranduil said to one of the many lord and ladies who had come to pay their respects as they returned to court. Galion couldn't have turned traitor as a worse time as now he had no buffer between himself and the constant interruption of curious members of court.

"We were surprised to hear of our visitors," The sandy haired Lord said. "To have Lady Galadriel visit is a great honor."

"Indeed," Thranduil agreed. "And everyone has an opportunity to meet with her tonight, but if you will excuse me I have much to attend to before this evening." He gave a sigh as the ellon left then ordered his guard into the room.

"I want no further interruptions. Keep everyone away."

"Yes, My Lord," the guard said then bowed and left him alone. Thranduil sighed then looked at the stacks of letters on his desk. Invitations to dine with returning members of the court through out the week, invitations to help with celebrations, questions, worries, and he wished it was still the dead of winter. He wondered if he could dare send everyone back to their respective homes. 

He imagined for a moment being able to steal Tauriel away. He would take her to his apartments and hold her in his arms as they sat by the fire and talked. He would feed her dinner then carry her to bed and... He shook his head. No. He couldn't think like that anymore. 

Unfortunately, his traitorous mind drifted away from his work as he thought about how sweet it was to kiss her wrists, how enticing the bend of her arm was. How he it felt looking into her beautiful eyes and feeling their connection flowing between them.

"Tauriel," he whispered and closed his eyes. He had yet to have her in his bed and he had so dearly wanted her there. He would have put her in the center, propped up by pillows and splayed her hair out all around her as he kissed every last inch of her skin, from the arch of her foot to the top of her head. He took a shaky breath and sighed. 

He wanted to hold her in the moonlight and sing to her as he feathered his fingers along her skin. He wanted to taste her sweet kisses and again hear the sound of her voice as she begged for more. He wanted to spread her legs and taste...

"Eru!" he shouted as he threw down his pen and stood. He paced around the room several times. He couldn't go to her. He couldn't hold her. He couldn't kiss her. He certainly couldn't have her in his bed. Worse he would never make love to her again. His heart, body and soul all raged with the denial of their need for her.

"Eru!" he growled as he put his forehead against the wall. He needed her to leave. They all needed to leave. The sooner the better.  
\---

"Agh!" Tauriel said as she pushed herself from the table where she and Mae were playing cards. "I need to.. I need to get out of here and do something."

Her heart was racing in her chest like a rabbit trying to run from a hunter. She closed her eyes tight for a moment and took several deep breaths.

"What's wrong?" Mae asked. 

"I don't know!" Tauriel snapped at her then stilled. "I just feel unsettled. Let's go for a walk. I need to get out of this room." Mae, who had slipped off her shoes made to put them back on and in the process fell behind.

Tauriel wanted to punch something as she marched through the halls. She wanted to kick and scream and cry and bite and she didn't know what was wrong with her.

"Tauri, wait," Mae called as she ran to catch up.

Tauriel turned on her friend. "Can't you just leave me alone? Please? I just need to be alone Mae!"

"I'm not supposed to..."

"I don't care what you're not supposed to do!" Tauriel yelled. Several people walking through the hallway looked at her and she took a calming breath. "I just need to be alone for a little while. I won't go far."

"Tauri," Mae said then dropped her arms by her side. "Go. Just. If something happens to you it will be my head on a plate so you know."

Tauriel shook her head. "Won't even leave the halls. I promise." Mae nodded and Tauriel walked away, looking over her shoulder only once to find Mae watching her. She waved and then turned a corner where she burst into a run.  
She didn't know where she was going only that she need to go. Unfortunately, there were far too many people inhabiting the halls. Too many people watching her. Too many people whispering as she fled past them. 

Finally she stopped in front of a familiar door. It was dark wood with elaborate swirled carvings and she wanted to attack it with her knife and gouge holes in the intricate whorls. The door had no guard so she knew the king wasn't in his room but she wanted to break the door down nonetheless.

Tauriel took several deep breathes, turned from the door and fled back down the hall looking for a way to burn away the fire of the inexplicable anger burning in her belly. She ended up in the only place she could think of where attacking someone or something was acceptable.

She grabbed a studded staff from a wall then pulled out a wooden practice dummy dressed in burlap stuffed with hay and without putting on gloves she attacked it viciously as she focused every last bit of her rage, sorrow, pain on the innocent object until she hit it so hard that one of the arms broke with a snap. Even then it wasn't enough.

"Agh!" she screamed as she threw the staff, drew a dagger and attacked the dummy over and over until its clothing was shredded and its stuffing strewn about the room. And it wasn't enough. 

"Tauriel," Uron said and she jolted and turned to him with barred teeth.

"What?" she yelled as she spun her knives. "Do you want to fight with me, Uron? Will you give me my job back if I do?"

Uron flicked a quick look at the practice dummy then shook his head. "Not if you are going to do to me what you did to that poor fellow over there."

Tauriel's eyebrows furrowed. "I'm not trying to be funny!" She stepped toward Uron who held up his hands in defense and stepped back.

"I understand that you're angry, Tauri, but you know I'm not your enemy. Talk to me. Tell me what has happened."

"I don't know," Tauriel said as she spun her daggers then put them away. "I honestly don't know what's wrong with me other than I feel so lost, confused and hurt. Neither Legolas or Mae have want to talk about the past I've lost and even talking with Lady Galadriel has left me with more questions than answers."

Uron relaxed and allowed himself to lean against the wall. "Have you considered talking to the king?"

"No," Tauriel answered. "And I can't believe you're even suggesting I do. I'd sooner get answers cuddling up to a viper." Uron chuckled an she scowled at him.

"Fine," he said. "Ask me questions and I'll try to answer. Mae is afraid of upsetting you and Legolas would rather you didn't remember."

Tauriel sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, where she once again found the secret braid. Touching it centered her enough for her to walk toward Uron and lean back against the wall with him.

"Why am I no longer captain of the guard?" she asked. 

"I can give you the long answer or the short one. Which do you want?" Uron answered. "Though I suppose the answer is going to be long no matter what."

Tauriel rolled her eyes. "I prefer short and concise. I don't need any fancy tales, Uron."

Uron nodded his head. "You and Legolas rescued some dwarves from a nest of spiders and brought them to the king and you know how he feels about dwarves."

"Yes," Tauriel said then laughed. "Hate is not a strong enough word."

"Apparently one was of Durin's line and wanted to take back the kingdom under the mountain. It seems that..." Uron paused and looked at Tauriel. "This is going to sound very strange to you, but you took a liking to one of them. He was young and Mae said he was extremely handsome as Dwarves go."

"I made friends with a handsome young dwarve." Tauriel repeated then frowned. "He must have been very charming."

"He must have been," Uron agreed. "They escaped the dungeon. I don't know how but they did. They were attacked my orcs and your handsome, charming friend was cut with a Morgul blade. Without permission, without asking, without even a by your leave you went after him."

Tauriel shook her head. "Just like that?"

"Just like that. You abandoned your post and your people in an effort to save his life. And you were banished for it."

"Did I manage to save him?" Tauriel asked thinking it was clear she hadn't.

Uron nodded. "You did, but bigger things were afoot Tauriel. Those dwarves, they woke the dragon Smaug but a great and mighty man from the village of Dale smote him down. Thranduil-king took food to aid the village and then confronted the leader of the dwarves, Thorin."

"They fought?" Tauriel asked. 

"Yes and we would have taken them easily but he had called for help from Erebor and we ended up fighting Dain Ironfoot. But, just when you think things couldn't get worse, orcs and wargs attacked."

"So did the king and the dwarves join forces?" Tauriel asked.

Uron shook his head. "Not willingly and Thranduil had us pull back. He said it wasn't our fight and he didn't want anymore involvement in it. You were angry because your friend and his friends needed help."

"Of course our king would turn his back on dwarves," Tauriel said as she shook her head. 

Uron picked at his fingers and told her. "Thranduil-King was withdrawing his troops and you confronted him. You demanded he help the dwarves. He refused to help so you..."

"I what?" Tauriel asked.

"You aimed an arrow at his head, Tauriel."

Tauriel shook her head. "No. There is no way. I can't even imagine doing such a thing."

Uron chuckled and gestured to the decimated practice dummy. "You cannot imagine what you would do in a fit of rage? The dwarve, Tauriel. You loved him. He loved you. You wanted to save him and Thranduil-king refused. If not for Legolas I don't know what would have happened. He sided with you and went with you to help your friend."

"In love with a dwarve?" Tauriel asked in astonishment. "Me?"

"His name was Kili," Uron continued. "And he fell in the midst of battle. You lost him and were heartbroken."

Tauriel sighed as she leaned her head back against the wall. "I risked everything for him and lost him then what happened?" she asked as she closed her eyes and tried to imagine what Uron told her, but could not.

"The king had you brought back. He lifted your banishment but would not return you to the guard. I was then given the position and that is how you find me."

"Wow," Tauriel said then took a deep breath then frowned ."I am very sad that I don't remember, Kili. How tragic and utterly unfair." She searched her heart looking for any shadow of Kili in her memory. Her heart. She told Galadriel she felt as though she had lost someone she loved now she understood why. It must be because of losing Kili.

"Legolas was heartbroken when...," Uron began then stopped. "Well you've known how he's felt about you long since before you became captain of the guard."

"And I've never encouraged him," Tauriel pointed out as she put her fingers on the hidden braid as he eyebrows furrowed. "At least I don't think I have. Have I ever mentioned why?"

"Because you don't love him like that," Uron replied. "Or so I assumed. Also, Mae and I know there is another."

"You know?" Tauriel asked in astonishment. "Who told you?"

Uron laughed and pushed himself away from the wall. "You did. So does that answer your question?"

"Did the king and I become friends afterward? I mean after my banishment." Tauriel asked. "I have a necklace he gave me. Mae said it was a peace offering."

"You could say that," Uron said. "But I've probable said too much and I'm getting hungry. Are you going to the dinning hall tonight?"

Tauriel sighed. "I don't want to but should probably make an appearance. Lady Galadriel did come here for me after all. Which I find flattering, amazing, and very confusing."

"The king sent for her no doubt," Uron said. "At least I am assuming. Let me go with you back to your quarters. Mae is probably there sewing flowery patches in all your clothes.

"Oh Uron," Tauriel said. "Have you seen my furniture? She covered that in flowers too."

Uron smiled fondly. "Yes, she's good at that."  
\---

Thranduil took a deep breath as he opened the door to his apartments. He knew Galadriel and Elrond were waiting for them inside and he wanted nothing more than to run and hide.

"Thranduil," Elrond called as he walked into the room. "How are you this evening?" Thranduil only grumbled in reply as a servant appeared with a cup of wine, bowing then leaving after he thanked them.

"What have you two been up to?" he asked as he sat.

Galadriel smiled. "We have been considering going through your wardrobe and counting how many pair of shoes you own."

"I doubt I have as many as you," Thranduil answered. He was not amused by this teasing and he warned Galadriel in his thoughts to stay out of his dressing room.

"The difference between us," Elrond said. "Is that you never seem to throw any of your garments away."

Thranduil shrugged. "It seems to me a waste."

"And you love each and every robe as if it were your own child," Galadriel teased then buried her face in her cup as if to hide her smile."

Thranduil took a deep breath. What he wouldn't give to get rid of these two and have Tauriel with him. He had loved finding her waiting for him after a long trying day. His heart clenched in his chest. He missed her."

"You should talk to her," Galadriel advised. 

"You should mind your own business," Thranduil told her and Elrond gave him an inquisitive look. "And you also, Elrond."

"I've heard from several members of your court," Elrond began. "They are concerned about you. Perhaps you should issue a formal statement about Galion's departure."

"I am interviewing for his replacement. There is no need to announce any sort of betrayal on his part. I'll address all their questions once you've both gone."

Galadriel smiled. "Unless you object I am going to extend my visit. Elrond will go home, but I desire to see what spring and summer bring for you."

"They bring nothing which would interest you," Thranduil told her coolly. "I know your reasoning. You're worried about my state of mind. I've endured far worse than the loss of a worthless lover. There is no need for you to stay."

Galadriel shook her head. "I don't know if you are lying to yourself or me, though I suspect you say such things more for your own benefit. Tell me Thranduil, how many lovers have you taken that you can deem one worthless?"

Thranduil glared at her for a moment then stood. "If you excuse me I need to see that dinner preparations are going as planned." He gave them a grim smile. "I am holding it in your honor. There will be dancing." 

"Thank you, Thranduil," Elrond said. Thranduil bowed to them both then fled the room.

Elrond looked at Galadriel and shook his head. "Why did you need to antagonize him like that?"

Galadriel smiled at him. "Because if we let him he would hide his feelings away and pretend they don't exist. He causes himself and others more harm than good."

"Do you really believe he could fall to the darkness?" Elrond asked.

Galadriel frowned. "Yes, and for now it is up to you and I to assure that he does not."


	16. Chapter 16

Tauriel shifted uncomfortably in the soft cotton green dress and brown belt Mae had insisted she wear to dinner. It was simple enough without being too tight or too frilly but she just felt off in it. Legolas stopped in the middle of the hallway and looked at her.

"Are you feeling alright?" he asked as he put his hand on her arm. The smile he gave her made her feel confused. The grin on his face made her feel slightly giddy that he was smiling at her, which was strange because Legolas was always given to smiles.

"No," Tauriel answered then frowned at the worried look on his face. "I'm just uncomfortable. I've been to thousands of dinners and have been just fine in my regular clothes. I don't feel like myself as it is."

 

"Mae is stubborn and to be honest she's like a mother hen all broody with no chicks to care for so she focuses on you." Legolas said as he pulled at the sleeve of Tauriel's dress. "Go back to your room and change. We can meet later."

Tauriel let out a huff of relief. "Thank you for understanding. I'll see you shortly." Legolas watched her go for a moment then continued to the dinning hall where Elladan and Elrohir were waiting for him.

Tauriel ran to her room, threw off the dress and dug in her closet for a green tunic and leggings before walking over to the mirror. She glanced down at the jewelry box then opened it and pulled out the silver necklace Legolas said belonged to his father. She wanted to talk to Thranduil and ask about it. Maybe she would have the opportunity tonight. 

She slipped the necklace on, straightened her hair the made to go to the dinning hall. Unfortunately, she wasn't even halfway there when she heard Mae and Uron talking. She knew Mae would make her feel guilty for changing and in so doing she'd go put the dress back on. So, instead of continuing on she turned a corner and decided to go the long way to the dining hall.  
\---

Thranduil was fiddling with a button on the sleeve of his silver robe when someone barreled into him, forcing him to put his hands on their shoulders to keep them both on their feet. He smiled when he realized it was Tauriel he was holding on to.

"I'm so sorry, My Lord," she told him quickly not daring to meet his eyes. He wanted to lift her chin and force her to look at him. He wanted to pull her into one of the many secret alcoves and if anything just talk to her. He missed her. His heart squeezed painfully in his chest.

"No harm has been done," he told her as he slid his hands down her arms then noticed the necklace she was wearing. He would never regret giving it to her, only that he had hid his intentions to court her to begin with. Of course, that time had passed. He frowned. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." Tauriel answered as her eyes searched his face. He smiled at her and her heart flip flopped in her chest as a sudden realization hit her. Legolas' smile made her heart race because they were like Thranduil's, of course he rarely smiled so how could she have known?

"You are feeling better?" he questioned as he resisted the urge to take her hands in his and kiss her fingers. He knew her hands by heart but he still missed them.

"Much," Tauriel answered, finding herself lost in the icy blue depths of his eyes. She smiled at him and the smile he returned curled her toes in her boots. Oh yes, it was his smile that she remembered and loved. 

"Are you on your way to dinner?" Tauriel asked then frowned as his expression saddened. 

"Yes, you?" he answered. He watched her a moment then dared to reach out and move her hair from her shoulder, in so doing to check to see if the braid he had put in was still there. It was and he sighed.

"Could you do me a great favor?" he asked in almost a whisper as he moved his hand behind his back and worked the button on his sleeve loose.

"Of course, My Lord," Tauriel answered. "What is it?"

He held out his arm and showed her his sleeve. "I am unable to fasten this button. Will you fix it for me?"

Tauriel's whole body went hot and the tip of her ears burned as she touched him. "It would be my pleasure," she said as her fingertips brushed against his hand. She looked at him briefly to see that his eyes were closed. She watched him swallow hard then returned her attention to the button, which fell free from its threads and into her hand.

"It fell off," she told him and he opened his eyes and frowned at his sleeve. She felt like her heart was going to seize in her chest at the way he lifted his gaze to her. She wanted to throw herself into his arms like some silly young elleth and confess all her feelings to him, of course she knew better.

"Come with me," Tauriel said as she took his hand and pulled her with him down the hall. He followed without a word. He knew he should leave her alone but the feeling of her hand against his was far too pleasurable to deny. What was a few moments in the grand scheme of things? He would have an eternity without her, surely he could be allowed a few more precious seconds.

"Luckily my room is full of sewing supplies," Tauriel said as she opened the door and lead him inside. Little did she know it took every last ounce of Thranduil's will not to turn her in his arms and kiss her senseless. He all once hated and blessed his self control.

He let her sit him down in the neat rest chair and began working. He watched her hungrily as she found a needle and looked for thread to match his robe, willing her to take her time, to give him a few more moments and a few more and a few more. Eru, she was beautiful.

She knelt before him and he focused his attention on his pendant she now wore. He wanted to ask her if she knew where it had come from? Was is possible for her to even remember? Did he want her to?

"Tauriel," he whispered as she began sewing on the button and she looked up at him and froze.

She found that she wanted to climb onto his lap, wind her arms around him and kiss him. It was such a powerful urge that she found herself moving forward before finally catching herself.

"Do it," Thranduil ordered and she swallowed hard before moving up and setting herself on his knees.

"My lord?" she asked, she found she was trembling and was terrified he was going to ask her what she was doing.

Thranduil put his hand behind her neck and whispered. "You have permission. Don't be frightened." Tauriel immediately focused her gaze on his mouth. Her heart was thrumming in hear ears like a drum as his fingers stroked the back of her neck as he drew her closer.

"Tauriel," whispered. He was about to part his lips move forward and kiss her when someone knocked on the door.

"Tauriel," Mae yelled as she kicked at the door. "I know you came back to change. Open up and let me in!"

Thranduil and Tauriel looked at each other for a moment before Tauriel pulled herself from his lap. "H-Hold on, Mae."

"Are you alright?" Mae asked as she continued to knock. "Let me in!"

"We cannot let her find me here," Thranduil told Tauriel who nodded. 

"Don't worry. I'll take care of it." She gave him a longing look, sighed, then walked to the door before slipping into the hall way and closing it firmly behind her."

"You're not even supposed to be alone!" Mae yelled at her then put her hands on her hips. "You did change! Why?"

"I just didn't feel comfortable," Tauriel answered as she started walking, making it clear that she had no intention of going back to her room.

"But you looked so good," Mae said in disappointment. "There is time change. The king has not even arrived." Tauriel resisted the urge to put her hand on her cheeks as they burned. She had a million questions for their aforementioned king.

"Who am I supposed to be impressing?" Tauriel asked. "Legolas?"

"I don't know," Mae answered as she pouted. "Maybe, maybe not. I don't know. You are mean."

Tauriel rolled her eyes then walked into the crowded dinning hall and stopped as she took in the crowd. "Is every elf in the kingdom here tonight?" she asked.

"I think so," Mae said as she linked their arms together. "Let's go find our seats. Uron and Legolas' friends are saving them for us." Tauriel looked around the room and caught sight of Legolas standing at the head table talking to Elrond and Galadriel. Then let Mae push her forward. 

"Lady Tauriel," Elrohir said as he and his brother stood. "Lady Mae. We are looking forward to getting to know the both of you and hope you'll introduce us around. Legolas is going to be occupied for a little while." They looked toward the head table where Legolas was introducing Galadriel and their father to some of the members of Thranduil's counsel.

"Where is the king?" Uron asked just as the room went silent and all heads turned and Thranduil walked into the room resplendent in his silver robes and still wearing his winter crown.

Thranduil walked to his chair and stood, waiting for the room to quiet. He looked around searching for Tauriel then sighed when he found her. He had made such a terrible mistake going into her room and yet he couldn't resist. It was apparent that he would have to stay away from her.

"My people," he finally said. "I am pleased to welcome you back to these halls after a long quiet winter. There are those who have not returned, who have moved on to the halls of Mandos or sailed west. We honor them in our hearts and memories. 

"Tomorrow is the beginning of spring festival. We will begin celebrations in the afternoon in the east garden. Lady Galadriel of Lorien and Lord Elrond of Imladris will be joining us for this years festivities. Tonight is in honor of them both. Please enjoy the evening." He bowed then sat and the crowd returned to its excited thrum.

"Thank you, for the welcome," Galadriel said, but I didn't detect any enthusiasm or energy in your address. Are you feeling well?" Thranduil leveled her with an irritated look and she smiled at him.

"I am well enough," he answered. "I must admit I am not in the mood for this evening or tomorrow's celebrations." He turned his attention to Elrond. "When do you plan on leaving?"

Elrond opened then closed his mouth and sighed. "You want me to take Legolas and Tauriel with me don't you?" Thranduil's eyebrows furrowed and he thanked the servant who filled his glass with wine. 

"I don't want to have this discussion with either of you," he said shortly. "The sooner you both leave the happier I'll be. Now if you'll excuse me I need to see to my people. Enjoy your dinner." He stood, bowed shortly and walked away, leaving Galadriel and Elrond to look at each other.

"I wish he would speak to her," Elrond said as he watched Thranduil move from table to table a glass of wine in his hand and talking to his people.

Galadriel took a sip of her own wine, frowned at it then put it aside. "He did speak with her, though not in the way you are suggesting."

Elrond raised his eyebrows. "Is that why his mood has soured further?"

"Yes," Galadriel answered.

"We should just take matters into our own hands and go to both Legolas and Tauriel." Elrond suggested. 

"No," Galadriel said. "We should only meddle if they cannot work it out on their own. Though I do believe that Tauriel would benefit with staying your home for a few weeks if not months, for her health."

"What do you mean for her health? Is something wrong with her?" Elrond asked. 

Galadriel smiled. "I wouldn't word it like that, but the shadow is long here and the burden heavy for a delicate soul to bare."

"What do you mean?" Elrond asked as he turned to look at Galadriel who was chuckling softly.

"Galadriel," he said softly. "You like your puzzles far too much."

"Yes, I do," she answered. "She shouldn't be with you long. Their bond won't allow too lengthy a separation."

Elrond shook his head. "I don't understand how all this is possible. He has a wife how can he bond with another?"

Galadriel tilted her head to the side. "Their bond wasn't complete, Elrond. Maldris had already given her heart and soul to another. They were not bound save for the fact that they loved each other very deeply and would have been wed to him had he not died. I sent her to Doriath because I saw a need and a future for her there. Thranduil needed her. I understand the vision I had more clearly now."

"Eru," Elrond said. "So she and Thranduil were not really married?"

Galadriel looked at him as though he were an idiot. "No, they were married. But they were not bonded in the true sense of the word. Thranduil's bond-mate is Tauriel. They will ever be tied whether Thranduil wants to face it or not."

"So that's why you're not concerned about pushing the matter," Elrond said. "What if Thranduil decides to let go and fade? He is so close to it now. What will happen to Tauriel if he does?"

Galadriel shook her head. "He's far too stubborn to fade, Elrond. Look at him, even if he does not have Tauriel, he has his people and he loves them enough to live for them. At least for now." Elrond watched Thranduil socializing with his people. He had seldom seen Thranduil look so close to being content.

"I hate leaving things to chance. You know that," Elrond said. Galadriel's answer was a smile and he sighed.

\---

"And then Legolas hurled the orc over the edge of the embankment," Elladan said as he threw a roll at Legolas who caught it. "Then turned, growled at the two behind him and they bolted and ran."

"They didn't get far," Elrohir continued for his brother. "He shot two arrows in their back swift and sure and it was over."

"Meanwhile," Legolas said, "Elladan and Elrohir were doing the real work fighting off a dozen or more while I ran around like an elfling after three."

"But you stopped them from alerting others," Elladan said to Legolas. "You're efforts were important."

"Legolas has always been modest about his accomplishments," Tauriel said and Legolas smiled at her.

"You should tell them about fighting of spiders," Legolas suggested and Tauriel shook her head. She was feeling strange and tired and the thought of regaling anyone with tales of battle made her feel weary.

"Here," Mae said as she loaded Tauriel's plate with stewed vegetables. "You've barely eaten. No wonder you look so pale."

Legolas frowned and put his hand on hers. "Would you like me to get you wine? Water?"

Tauriel shook her head. "No. I'm fine. And Mae I'm not hungry really."

"Just a few bites," Mae urged and Tauriel growled then stood. "What I really need is some air. Plus there are people I'd like to speak to."   
She began walking away only to be stopped by Mae. "I'll go with you," Mae started and Tauriel pushed her back into her seat.

"No," she said firmly. "I need to be alone." Mae opened and closed her mouth but let Tauriel go.

Legolas shook his head. "I am worried about her. Something is terribly off."

Elladan and Elrhoir looked at each other then Elladan spoke, "I think that the three of you are not giving her room to breathe. From what you have told us, she is a elleth who enjoys her freedom. Let her have it."

"You are right," Legolas who was about to stand said then searched the room to find her standing with two of their friends who had been away for the winter then sighed. "Tauriel is a grown elleth, she doesn't need us following her as though she's not." He gave Mae a pointed look and she rolled her eyes.

"I just worry," Mae said. "We could have lost her."

"We didn't, Mae," Uron told her as he took her hand. Elladan, Elrohir and Legolas averted their eyes from the show of affection. 

"I know," Mae said then looked toward Tauriel. "I just want to see her happy. That is all."   
\---

Thranduil watched Tauriel as he moved around the room. He was truly happy to speak to each and every one of his subjects and felt fortunate that as of yet no one had asked after Galion and was heartened to realize that there was no or little gossip about himself and Tauriel.

She had moved away from Legolas and her other friends and was sitting with a group of mostly males who, to his eye, were all vying for her attention. Occasionally she would look in his direction, as if she felt him watching and he would look away.

"My Lord," an ellon named Beriadan asked as he followed Thranduil's gaze. "You seem to be troubled by something. I've heard tell that over the winter you took up with an elleth and..."

"You heard what?" Thranduil asked as he turned on Beridan and speared him with at look that often sent others fleeing. Beridan held his gaze for only a moment before looking down.

"I heard it from my sister who is one of your chambermaids," Beridan said quickly. "She has only confided this to me and I would never speak to anyone other than you, but she has been in tears lately because..." He trailed off and shook his head. "She thinks your heart is broken."

Thranduil took a deep breath and resisted the urge to rub his temples. He was expecting to be questioned, but not like this. He was prepared for judgement, condemnation, even anger from his people, but not concern.

"My heart was broken the day my wife died," he said softly. "You need not worry for me, Beridan. I am grateful for your concern. Tell your sister to take heart. I will endure." Beridan bowed deeply and watched as Thranduil walked to the next group of people waiting for his attention.

"My king!" the group said happily and he gave them each a bow and a smile.

"How have be been my good and dear friends?" he asked then took a seat that they offered at their table as they began to discuss their time away from his halls and their plans for the spring and summer. 

He looked toward Tauriel and found she had moved to another group of friends and was now closer to him than she had been before. He excused himself from the table and walked over to the group who he recognized as tradesmen and women, mostly specializing in armor and weaponry. It was not a group that he didn't usually spend as much of his time with as all but the master-crafter were apprentices. He smiled at their surprise when he asked if he could join them.

"My Lord," said the master-crafter, Thalandur as Tauriel looked down at her hands which were folded neatly in her lap. "We are honored by your presence."

"And I am honored by yours," Thranduil told them. "I hope the winter wasn't too difficult for any of you."

"Oh no," Thalandur said. "It was a very good and prosperous season and we were able to do a great deal of repair work and replacement of arms that were lost in autumn's battle."

Thranduil frowned at the thought of the lost though his mind wasn't on lost swords, shields or armor. "I would like to drop in and see what you've been doing," he said and the mouths at every table dropped open. It wasn't unheard of for Thranduil to inspect arms after they had been made, and he was more likely to visit the cooler areas where the glass workers and jewelry makers worked.

"It would be our pleasure," Thalandur told him. "Though perhaps it would be easier if we were to bring some of our work to you. The forge can be very uncomfortable and dirty."

Thranduil looked at him for a moment then shook his head. "I fail to see how bringing examples of your work up from the forge would be easier than for me to simply visit. No, I will pay a visit after the spring festival has ended." He stood and so did the rest of the table.

"Tauriel," he said as he turned to her. "I have an important matter to discuss with you. Will you come with me?" 

"My Lord," she said then followed him from the dinning hall. He didn't even spare a look back to make sure she followed but he turned once they doors closed behind them and frowned at her.

"I would like you to forget what happened earlier this evening," Thranduil said as he took a step toward Tauriel who took a step back.

She raised a hand to stop him and shook her head. "I think I've done enough forgetting as of late, don't you?" Her eyebrows furrowed as he glared at her. "And that wasn't the first time something like that happened was it?"

Thranduil grabbed her by the arm. "Come with me," he growled. "This is not the place to discuss such things."

"There is no need to grab me!" she hissed at him as she pulled her arm from his grip. "I'll do as you ask." Thranduil frowned at her a moment then sighed and motioned for her to follow.

He lead her into a storage room filled with cleaning supplies. Clothes, buckets, mops and brooms and she laughed at seeing him in all his kingly glory with his arms folded standing beside a broom.

"Do you remember?" he asked as his eyes searched her face.

"Remember what?" Tauriel questioned as she reached out and touched the nearest broom handle and refused to look at him.

"Anything," Thranduil answered and she raised her eyebrows as she picked at the wooden handle.

"I have a vague recollections I know we've become friends again," She said finally looked at him. "Though my most recent memory is of fighting with you - though I'm having difficulty remembering what it was about and what made us both so angry."

Thranduil took a deep breath and clenched his fists to keep from touching her. "Tell me what you do remember."

Tauriel blushed and redirected her attention back to the broom. "I remember..," she shook her head and put one hand to her face. She remembered things she could not dare to speak of. She thought perhaps they were not real memories but memories of a cherished dream. "Did we... umm."

"Did we?" Thranduil prodded as he held his breath.

Tauriel shook her head. "I think it was a dream. It couldn't possibly have happened."

"Tauriel," he whispered. "What if it had?" She shook her head and bit her lip. "What if it had?" he asked again.

Tauriel took a step deeper into the closet and turned to examine one of the shelves and the scrub brushes and soap. "I cannot imagine any circumstances where you and I would behave in such a manor."

"Did I kiss you?" Thranduil asked as he reached toward her but stopped before he touched her.

"Yes," Tauriel answered. "But it was more than that." She put both of her hands on her burning cheeks. "And you said you loved me." She turned to look at him. "Was that a dream or real?"

Thranduil took a deep breath. Here was his opportunity. He could admit his feelings. He could reclaim her as his. He could tell Legolas that he had stolen the elleth he dreamed of spending his life with and face his son's hatred for the rest of their days or he could tell her it was nothing more than a dream.

"You have vivid dreams, Tauriel," he said and turned away from her. "But it is true we have rebuilt our friendship. You were upset that Legolas had left and you were unhappy."

"And I loved a dwarf," Tauriel interrupted. "And I threatened your life. I cannot even remember. It makes me sad to forget Kili. I must have loved him a great deal."

Thranduil sucked in a deep breath. "Who told you his name?" If there was one good thing about her memory loss, it was that she didn't remember Kili. If he had his way she would forget him forever. 

"Does it matter?" Tauriel asked. "Does it matter that I loved a mortal being?" Thranduil growled softly. 

"There has never been anything between us, Tauriel," he lied and it hurt to do so. "And I have no excuse for what happened in your room. I was not thinking clearly."

"Since when does the king of the woodland realm not think clearly?" Tauriel asked. "And do not say when you've had too much wine. You did not taste of wine."

Thranduil swallowed hard. "It was a mistake Tauriel and I'm asking for you to forget about it."

"And I told you that I've had enough of forgetting," she told him as she folded her arms over her chest. "Why would you allow me to kiss you?" Thranduil bowed his head for a moment then looked up at Tauriel as a very effective lie sprung into his head.

"When your dwarve died," he began then swallowed the horrible lump in his throat. "You sought comfort in my company as I was able to understood the pain of your loss. In so doing that comfort occasionally went beyond mere talk."

Tauriel opened and closed her mouth then narrowed her eyes. "That isn't the whole truth. I don't know how I know, but it isn't."

"And you have my permission," Thranduil said though the words made him ache to the very depths of his soul. "To marry my son. I believe you would make him a good and loving companion."

Tauriel shook her head and was about to refute his statement but before the words could make it past her lips he fled the closet and was gone. She leaned against the wall for a moment in an effort to fight through the sudden nausea suddenly overwhelming her.  
\----

Mae frowned as she braided Tauriel's hair the next morning. She had already dressed and readied herself before waking Tauriel and surprising her with a beautiful sky blue dress.

"You got away with not wearing one last night so you owe me," Mae told her and Tauriel sighed. "And I want to put flowers in your hair."

"Fine," Tauriel said as she allowed Mae to work her hair into one long braid. She looked at the dress and sighed. It was a confection of flowing blue fabric embossed with silver flowers. The sleeves were cuffed at the elbow with wide silver ribbon and more blue fabric flowing down the hem of the dress. 

"It's a dress fit for a queen," Mae said as she laced the front of the bodice then stepped back to admire her handiwork. "You look lovely."

Tauriel looked in the mirror then frowned she wondered briefly what Thranduil would think of the dress then shook her head and turned to Mae. The very idea of seeking Thranduil's opinion on the way she dressed. Why would he even care?

"Can we go now?" she said as Mae poked blue flowers into her braid.

"Yes," Mae answered then proceeded Tauriel out the door. They met Legolas, his friends and Uron on the way to the garden and Legolas gave her a warm smile.

"You look beautiful," he told her and offered her his sky blue clad arm. 

"I detect Mae's hand in your clothing," she said as she took his arm and plucked at the fabric.

"Since she demanded I wear sky blue, you are correct," Legolas said and Tauriel turned to give Mae a narrow eyed glare.

"We are going to take Elladan and Elrohir and go ahead," Uron said. "I want to stop quickly and show them the new maps I've had drawn up."

"Have a good time," Mae said to Legolas and Tauriel then the group bowed and left them alone.

"I suspect a set up," Legolas said as he stopped and turned to Tauriel. "Are you feeling better?" Tauriel had retired early the night before and spent the rest of the evening in her bed feeling angry at herself and at Thranduil. 

Tauriel took a deep breath and said, "I spoke to your father last night. He told me he thought I would make a good companion for me and I am confused."

Legolas gave her a beautiful smile and pulled her into his arms and hugged her tight. "There is no rush for anything Tauriel," he said softly. "If you are not ready I understand. But please give me a chance." Tauriel opened her mouth to agree to give him that chance when someone cleared their throat in disapproval. 

"Ada," Legolas said as he released Tauriel from his embrace. "How are you this morning?"

Thranduil leveled him with a cold look. "I am fine other than watching my son engage in public displays of affection." He looked at Tauriel for a moment then back at Legolas. Tauriel blushed and looked at Legolas who lifted his chin and met his father's eyes without hesitation.

"You are in a cheerful mood I see," he said. "I hope you can at least manage to enjoy the festivities."

Thranduil gave him a grim look. "I shall if there is enough wine. Enjoy yourself, Legolas." He spared Tauriel a quick glance then pushed between them and continued down the hall.

Legolas sighed heavily. "I would like to say it is a comfort to know that some things never change, but I would rather that Adar was happy for once."  
\----

Spring celebrations were the favored by almost everyone in Mirkwood and Thranduil usually enjoyed them, but with Lady Galadriel beside him and Lord Elrond beside her, he was in a decidedly bad mood. He had watched earlier as Legolas, who was always a reticent dancer, took Tauriel off to join the spinning revelry around the fountains. She had been awake for a week now and he had spoken with her twice. Both times it had been an utter disaster. To make matters worse, each day he spent away from her he missed her more and more.

He emptied his cup of wine and nodded as it was immediately filled. He had already had two glasses and fortunately with Galion gone no one would dare utter a word to stop him. He hoped that Galadriel would have the sense to mind her own business otherwise there wasn't enough wine in the kingdom let alone world to keep his temper even.

Thranduil caught a brief glimpse of Tauriel and held his breath. She was in a dress the same shade of blue as Legolas, he hadn't noticed before. He was certain it previously belonged to Mae or was a gift. He had seen Tauriel wear dresses before but they were always utilitarian in their own way, always green or yellow cotton and never with layers of flowing silk. She was beautiful and knowing she hadn't dressed this way for him, but Legolas was a jab to the stomach. It was his own fault he had given her his blessing for them to be together.

In that moment as he watched the fabric swirl around her as she smiled at Legolas, he was filled with an incredible hunger and vicious jealousy. He wanted to pull her from his son's arms and dance with her himself. He wanted her attention on him and no one else. She belonged to him and only him. 

As if she could read his thoughts she turned his head and looked at him and something inside him roared for him to go forward and claim her - Legolas and his own pride be damned.

"Thranduil," Galadriel spoke as he managed to down two more glasses of wine and was well on his way to finishing the fifth when he turned to look at her.

"My Lady?" he asked as he swirled the wine in his glass and narrowed his eyes at her. She put her hand on his arm. 

"Perhaps you should use more moderation in your consumption of wine," she suggested. He scowled at her, drank down his cup and it was filled again all while he maintained eye contact.

"Perhaps you should concern yourself with things that pertain to you and leave me alone." He told her through gritted teeth.

Galadriel watched him for a moment. "My concern is you."

"I have never needed your concern before and I do not need it now," Thranduil told her as he turned and focused the full weight of his gaze on her. Of course Galadriel was one of the few beings who could withstand such a gaze without a flicker or flinch and it made him angry.

"Tell me," Thranduil said then downed his glass of wine and tapped it. "About you and Celeborn. I imagine he is relieved that he has been spared your presence this spring."

The corners of Galadriel's mouth turned up slightly. "I am sorry I did not bring him. Perhaps you would be more obliging in his presence."

"Well I do like him better than I like you," Thranduil said.

Galadriel smiled. "I will let him know. I'm certain he will find your opinion pleasing."

"Of course it cannot be easy to stand in your overbearing shadow," Thranduil continued. "I admire his ability to withstand you." He drank down his wine and tapped his finger on his glass to signal for more.

"I admire that about him as well," Galadriel replied honestly then shook her head as Thranduil downed yet another glass of wine. She looked at Elrond who was frowning and put her hand on his arm to still him.

Thranduil sighed and looked up at the sky. The same blue as Tauriel's dress and he growled as the dam holding back his pain and anger burst. "Tell me, Galadriel," he continued as he turned to her, his eyes full of anger. "After all these millennia married to Celeborn. Do you still fuck?" A collective gasp from the court who were unashamed to be listening rose up along the table and Elrond's jaw dropped.

"You should have taken my advice. The wine has loosened your tongue and you will have to suffer more than you already are." Galadriel said as she pointedly picked up her cup of water and took a sip as silence reigned. The musicians realizing something was amiss ceased their song and all eyes turned to the king and Galadriel.

"I cannot imagine that either of you ever have. You are too cold to enjoy it anyway. It would be wasted on you."

"Thranduil," Elrond began. "Given this inappropriate turn of conversation, perhaps retiring for the evening would be in your best interest."

Thranduil narrowed his eyes at Elrond. "Celebrian was likely adopted or abducted from some witless Lorien chambermaid. Galadriel is too far above everything and every one for child birth."

Galadriel took another sip of her water before looking at Thranduil again and raising her eyebrows. "I know you are angry. Your situation is not my fault, Thranduil. Do not take your rage out on me."

"But you are here," Thranduil said as he spread out his hands. "And take it so gracefully. Do you always take it gracefully, My lady or do you ever bend over and..."

"Ada!" Legolas who had moved toward his father the moment the music stopped. "Enough!"

"Ion nin!" Thranduil said cheerfully. He noted how he was holding Tauriel's hand and he stood. He flung off his robe then dumped it on Elrond's head as he walked around the table toward the pair. "Are you having a good evening with my.. with my..." He stopped and looked at Tauriel who was watching him warily.

"Former captain of the guard," he said sharply. 

Legolas let go of Tauriel's hand and walked toward his father. "Why are you doing this, Adar? Have you lost your mind?"

"My mind?" Thranduil asked. "And my wife." He looked at Tauriel and his expression softened. "Are you enjoying your evening?"

"I was," Tauriel answered. Thranduil walked closer to her. He loved her bravery. He loved how like Galadriel she met his gaze without fear. She also showed no pity and it soothed his anger slightly. He was aware that everyone had stopped and was watching as he moved toward her. He reached out his hand.

"Dance with me," he ordered. He looked around at everyone. "Where is the music? This is a celebration!" The musicians resumed their playing and he pulled Tauriel across the floor before bowing. She bowed in returned and followed his steps as he began leading her in a quick dance.

Legolas watched them for a moment before he turned to Galadriel and Elrond. "I am very sorry for Adar's behavior. I have never seen him this bad. I'm not sure what's got into him."

"There is no need for you to apologize for your father," Galadriel began. "You are not responsible for what he does. However it may be in your best interest to take Lady Tauriel and leave. I fear things are going to become far worse." She nodded toward where Thranduil and Tauriel had been dancing but were no longer dancing but arguing.

"Pardon me," Legolas said then bowed quickly and made his way toward his father wondering what nightmare he had wandered into.

"I don't know what's wrong with you, My Lord," Tauriel said as Legolas approached. "But I do not find your questions at all appropriate!" 

"Answer the question!" Thranduil growled. "It's a simple yes or no answer! Either you have or you have not. Either you intend to or you don't. Which is it, Tauriel?"

"What are you two talking about?" Legolas asked as he moved between them. Thranduil looked at Legolas with a burning anger that left him breathless. His father had often been angry with him, but never like this. He put his arm around Tauriel's waist and Thranduil's anger intensified.

"Leave us, Ion nin," Thranduil ordered. "This matter is between Tauriel and I."

"You're upsetting her," Legolas told his father. "I'm not going to let you insult her like you did Lady Galadriel."

"I don't care if I have insulted that uptight bitch," Thranduil hissed. "Leave now."

"Adar!" Legolas began then stopped as Galadriel's warning sunk in. "You are right. I am going to leave. I am not going to stay and watch you embarrass yourself." He turned to Tauriel. "Come with me."

"No!" Thranduil said as he twirled Tauriel from Legolas' grasp. "She stays. You go!"

Tauriel who was feeling dizzy, confused, hurt and very angry shook her head. "It's fine, Legolas. Just go. I can deal with this. Things will only get worse if you stay."

"I'll wait for you inside," Legolas said then shot his father a warning look and walked away without even bothering a bow of respect.

"So," Thranduil said as he pulled her back into his arms. He needed her to stay with him. Forever. "Answer my question."

Tauriel shook her head. "I've already forgotten your question. Are you thirsty? Perhaps we can get some water..."

"I asked," Thranduil began in a low growling voice. "Are you sleeping with him? Are you fucking my son!"

Tauriel gave him a sharp look. "If I were, what business is it of yours?"

"Answer the question, Tauriel! Are you my son's whore?" 

"Let me go!" Tauriel cried then tried to struggle from his grasp. He fought her escape and she spun and slapped him on the left side of his cheek before turning and running off away with tears in her eyes.

Thranduil held his cheek a moment then walked around the fountain. He was feeling overly hot now and still so angry. He discarded his spring crown, pulled off his shirt and threw it in the grass as he wavered from side to side as all the wine he consumed began hitting him with it's full weight. The entire court was watching and several ladies gasped in horror then turned away as half naked, Thranduil walked into the fountain.

He gasped as the cold water hit him, but it wasn't enough to ease his sorrow, anger, pain or drunken condition. He turned to look at his people who were watching in stunned disbelief.

"Well?" he asked. "Is this a party or not? Join me!" And they did, hesitantly at first but finally with enough wine in them and enough of their king's wild behavior, they joined in joyfully.

Elrond looked at Galadriel. "Do they always celebrate like this?" he asked.

Galadriel chuckled. "I believe that Sylvan parties are slightly more sedate, though only slightly. I do not envy Thranduil the harsh realities of the morning."


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuses for this. I hope you still love me when you get to the end of this chapter.

  
Thranduil jolted awake with a gasp as if he was just surfacing from drowning. It took several long seconds for him to realize he was laying in his bed wearing his usual night shirt. The way the light shined through the window told him it was almost afternoon. He sat up and looked around for a moment trying to get a feel for what was off and then he remembered.

"Eru," he groaned as he flopped back against his pillows and threw an arm over his eyes. He had insulted Galadriel in the most disgusting and vulgar way. He had argued with Tauriel and thrown baseless, disgusting accusations at her and she slapped him. He had been angry, hurt, jealous and very, very drunk. He had thrown off half of his clothes and walked into the fountain. After that, everything was a blur.

Someone, likely a few servants as it was likely he was less than cooperative, pulled him from the fountain, carried him to his room and dressed him for bed. At least putting his night shirt on him couldn't have been that difficult as he was only half dressed too begin with. Unfortunately, he didn't remember that. He didn't remember which of his incredibly faithful servants he would need to thank and apologise to, therefore he would have to thank them all.

"Eru," he said then groaned. He dearly wished he didn't have to get out of bed - Of course he couldn't stay there. He was the king. He had responsibilities and he had acted like a complete and total ass.

The first thing he needed to do was find and apologize to Galadriel. His whole being writhed at the thought of having to beg for her forgiveness, and worse what he had said to her was unforgivable. Then there was Tauriel. His Tauriel. Tauriel who had look so beautiful in her sky blue dress with flowers in her hair. Tauriel who he had wanted to hold and tell her how deeply and desperately he needed her and loved her. Instead he had dared to insinuate that he was a whore, the one thing he feared people would call her.

"Oh Tauriel," he whispered in agony. "Tauriel." He took a deep breath. Maybe it was better that he had pushed her further away, but it hurt. It hurt more than having to bow and scrape to both Galadriel and Elrond to know that he had hurt her. And it hurt to admit how desperately he needed her with him. If he could just hold her for a few minutes maybe everything would be alright.

When he was finally dressed and ready to face what he had done he opened the door to his bedroom and walked into the morning room. Galadriel was waiting for him there. Fortunately she was alone. He didn't dare ask where Elrond had gone.

"Good morning, Thranduil," she said as she sat with a cup of tea in her hand. "How are you?"

Thranduil cleared his throat. "I don't know where to begin," he told her.

Galadriel raised her eyebrows. "At the beginning is the best place I believe."

Thranduil moved his robes and knelt before her. "My Lady," he said then bowed his head. He couldn't remember the last time he had knelt before anyone like this. He was certain it had been for his father but he could not recall.

"My behavior yesterday was unseemly and uncalled for. My words were vulgar and meant to illicit pain and anger. I understand if you cannot forgive me, but I do humbly beg for your mercy and for pardon. I have no excuse for such behavior."

"Rise, Thranduil and sit," Galadriel said. "Your true intent wasn't so much to hurt me as yourself, though I am certain my possible outrage was a bonus for you at the time."

"It was," Thranduil admitted as he kept his gaze fastened to the floor. He couldn't bring himself to look at her. He felt heartsick and disgusting.

"We all know the true root of your behavior. I can and do forgive you. I cannot even fathom how painful it must be to be separated from someone you love and are bonded with." She said her face full of care and sympathy.

"There is no bond," Thranduil said. "She cannot hear my thoughts. I cannot hear hers. The bond is severed." Eru, the mere thought of it hurt so bad he felt it was going to drive him mad. He wanted to bang his head on the floor until it came back.

Galadriel took a sip of her tea then set the cup on the table beside her chair. "The bond is sleeping not broken. Stop being so foolish, Thranduil."

Thranduil closed his eyes in relief. His head was aching and his stomach was twisting and turning. What he really wanted was to go back to bed. "It will stay asleep if we leave it alone," he said. He didn't want that. He really didn't.

"Perhaps," Galadriel said. "There isn't much you can do about it now. Elrond, his sons, Legolas and Tauriel left for Imladris first thing this morning."

Thranduil's heart squeezed so painfully it took his breath away. He leaned his head on his hand and forced himself to take several deep breaths to keep himself from crying out in agony. How could she go? How could she leave him without even waiting to tell him good-bye. It had to hurt her as much as it hurt him. Or was it because she didn't remember? Or was it because she was now to enamored of Legolas to even think of him. Eru, he hated himself. He wanted to throw up.

"I know it hurts," Galadriel said after he had managed to pull himself together if only slightly. "But you did it to yourself and these are the consequences."

Thranduil shook his head as he rocked back and forth trying to quell the agony his soul was in. He wanted nothing more for Galadriel to leave so he could lay down. He felt so weak and tired. He wanted Tauriel, damn it. How much of his mind had he lost? Was it all gone and would it come back? He wondered if he should go after her.

"Now," Galadriel said though her voice seemed like a distant echo down hollow halls. "Spring celebrations still need to be presided over. Your people are worried about you and you also need to make amends to them for your behavior. They are frightened at the moment and need your strength."

"Perhaps later," Thranduil told her then made to stand but found he was too weak so he laid his head back on the chair instead. Why? Why? Why? was now the litany running through his head. He heard someone walk into the room and he turned to see Lalathion and groaned. "Go away," he ordered. "I did not call for you."

"But I did," Galadriel said as she watched Thranduil endure his internal suffering.

Lalathion took a good look at Thranduil and sighed. "In the future I suggest you drink less wine. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," Thranduil growled and he would be better if his.. If his... If he could just talk to Tauriel for a moment. All he needed was a minute, to look into her face that was it. "Leave me be."

Galadriel shook her head. "He is very foolish. Give him a draught for his physical hang over and it will help the emotional one significantly." She turned to Thranduil. "Stop being childish. If you are going to behave as you did yesterday then you will have to accept the consequences as they come."

Thranduil leveled her with hateful look but said nothing further as Lalathion presented him with a frothy, bubbling drink. He gave the cup a look of disgust before drinking it down and then almost lost the contents of his stomach.

"There now," Galadriel said so cheerfully he considered kicking her. "Doesn't that make you feel better?"

"No," Thranduil answered as he looked into the cup. His head was beginning to clear at least. "It made me feel worse. What was that foul concoction?"

Lalathion laughed. "Give it a moment or two for it to begin working."

"This is the second time you've forced me to drink one of his vile beverages," Thranduil said to Galadriel as the intense pain he was in began to ease in slow increments each one was a blessed release. "There better not be a third."

Galadriel tilted her head and gave him a thoughtful look. "That is entirely up to you and your behavior. I think you can agree with me that there are far worse punishments than having to drink a little medicine."

Thranduil closed his eyes then looked at Lalathion. "Thank you," he said. "I am feeling much better. You can go."

"My lord," Lalathion said then bowed. He bowed to Galadriel who also thanked him then left.

"Now what?" Thranduil asked. He would rather crawl back into bed rather than do anything else. He might feel better physically but his heart still ached.

"Now you escort me to the garden and make an appearance to your people and this time you will act like the king you are instead of a spoiled child whose favorite toy was stolen."

Thranduil opened and closed his mouth but ultimately held back the fact that Tauriel was in no way a toy. He stood and offered Galadriel his arm. "After you, My Lady."  
\----

Tauriel had been more than happy to leave that morning without saying good-bye to Thranduil. She was so angry with him. After all, what did she owe him? As a subject she was free to come and go as she pleased. She was no longer captain of the guard. Moreover, she was very hurt and wanted nothing more than to get away.

She had been happy all morning and eager to embark on a new adventure, but as the morning waned and noon approached her head and her stomach began to ache. She shifted in the saddle thinking that it had been so long since she had ridden a horse that perhaps she was feeling a little motion sickness.

A sinking feeling then came over her and her heart felt like it was twisting in her chest as she was overwhelmed with a feeling of profound sorrow. She leaned forward on her horse and tried to breath away the tears spilling from her eyes but soon she was keening in sorrow so loudly that everyone stopped and Legolas pulled her from the horse.

"What is wrong?" he asked as he examined her as she continued to lean against him and began sobbing.  
"I-I d-do not know," she answered as she leaned into his embrace. Legolas held her tight and looked at Elrond as he dismounted from his horse and moved toward them.

"I don't know what has happened," Legolas told him as Tauriel sobbed. "This is not like her at all. Tauriel doesn't cry!"

"You don't know what I do or do not do," Tauriel said as she pushed away from Legolas' embrace. His arms were all wrong. She didn't want him. She wanted, no she needed Thranduil. Now not later. Elrond stepped aside to give her space as she bent forward and took several deep breaths.

"I think I am going to be sick," she finally said then ran to the bushes and landed on her hands and knees. The entire party turned away to give her privacy.

Elladan put his hand on Legolas' shoulder. "Yesterday was a very draining day and she has been unwell."

"Maybe we should not have left," Legolas said then turned to look at Elrond who was kneeling beside Tauriel with his hand on her back.

"Deep breaths," Elrond told her then helped hold her up as her arms collapsed beneath her.

Tauriel took in several breaths. "I do not want to go back," she told him, but she did. Why was she telling him such lies? "Don't make me go back."

Elrond helped her clean up and then let her rest against his chest. "I will not make you go back unless you become very ill," he said. "Would you object to riding with me?"

"With you?" Tauriel asked in confusion.

"On my horse," Elrond said. "Or if you prefer with Legolas."

Tauriel shook her head. "No. No," she said. "I am well enough to ride on my own. If I cannot then I am not well enough to travel." The sick sorrowful feeling was beginning to ease in tiny blessed increments.

"Fair enough," Elrond said and smoothed her hair as if she were a child. He frowned as he caught sight of the braid hidden in her hair by her ear then shook his head as he began walking her back to her horse.

"Is she going to be alright?" Legolas asked he approached. Tauriel at that moment became aware of leaning against against Elrond and pushed away from him in shame. She was not a child that needed to be guided.

"I'm so sorry, My Lord," she said when she realized how rude her actions were. "You are far too kind."

"There is nothing to be sorry for," Elrond told her as he watched her sway from side to side.

"Tauriel," Legolas began as he moved closer.

Tauriel put up her hand to keep him from touching her. If he did she knew she'd beg to be taken back to his father because that is where she belonged. "I'm well Legolas. I just want to keep moving. Please."  
  
"She'll be fine," Elrond said as he helped Tauriel back onto her horse. "But she is going to ride beside me so that if she feels ill again I can help her."

"Thank you," Tauriel told him as she settled herself in the saddle. She looked at Legolas for a moment as he stood watching her thoughtfully then gave him a little smile. He bowed to her and they resumed traveling.  
\---

"Please forgive me for my behavior yesterday," Thranduil said for what felt like the millionth time. "I had far too much wine and it influenced my behavior in a rather horrible manner."

"There is no need to apologize!" The ellon he was speaking to, who happened to be one the higher ranking members of his kingdom who tended to have issues with him at every turn. "We had a good time. I cannot remember having so much fun at a spring festival. It certainly will be difficult to beat." Thranduil searched the ellon's face and found his words to be surprisingly sincere and yet he expected the matter would be brought up several times in meetings and whispered about in court for ages to come.

Thranduil bowed. "You are kind. Thank you." And with that he moved on to the next and the next person. Most everyone he had spoke to had been either forgiving or had been happy with the events. Those who were not, had already left, not wanting to face a repeat of such events.

"That will do," Galadriel said as he returned to her side. "How are you feeling?"

"Wretched," Thranduil answered. His stomach felt sick again and worse he felt empty and lost. "May I be excused now?"

Galadriel gave him a thoughtful look. "As long as you're not going to go off and drink more than your fill of wine, I think you are done here."

"My Lady," he said then bowed and walked away without looking back though he wanted to stand and tell her that he didn't need to drink an excess of wine to insult her, but it wasn't true he was really just hurting.

Thranduil took a deep breath as he left the garden. More than anything he wanted to talk to Tauriel. The fact that she had left with Legolas was eating him up inside. He started to go back to his rooms but instead he turned and found himself in front of Tauriel's door. He opened it slowly. Of course the room was empty.

He walked inside and looked around. It was apparent she had packed in haste. Her bed was still unmade and several drawers were open and discarded clothes were strewed about.

Thranduil sat in the nearest chair, pulled off his boots then took off his robe and jacket before he climbed into her bed, sighing deeply as he pulled her blankets up then buried his face in her pillow. It smelled like her and calmed the ache in his soul. He pulled the pillow into his arms and held it tight as he drifted to sleep.

_"Thranduil!" she called and Thranduil who found himself standing in a dark corridor froze._

_"Thranduil!" she called again. "Where are you?"_

_"I am here!" he answered as he began walking. She continued to call him and he continued to slowly make his way through what felt like endless hallways until he came to a corridor._

_She stood in the center of the room glowing like a blue flame, her arms spread wide and a smile on her face. "Melamin," she said._

_"Maldris," he replied as he remained in the door way. He watched as she walked closer._

_"Faithless," she told him and he closed his eyes. "I have slain the evil that has come between us." His eyes snapped open and he looked at her and she smiled._

_"Look," she said as she turned and gestured to the center of the room where a body lay, headless on the table. Thranduil swallowed back the bile rising in his throat and turned his attention to Maldris whose skin was now crackling and burning with fire._

_"My gift to you, Beloved," she said her voice acidic with hatred then held up Tauriel's head. Thranduil's breath stopped and he covered his mouth with his hand, to either stop himself from screaming or throwing up, perhaps both._

_"And now she will never keep you from me again, you vile, faithless, monster!" Maldris screamed as her skin burned away from her body and Thranduil finally let out a scream of horror._

"No!" Thranduil yelled as he sat up in bed, his panic intensified as he didn't recognize his surroundings. He jumped from the bed then realized he was in Tauriel's room. He picked up her pillow and headed to his own.

"Good evening," Galadriel said as he walked into his apartments. "How was your nap?"

Thranduil tossed the pillow onto a nearby chair then turned to her. "You don't expect me to answer that do you?"

"I wouldn't have asked otherwise," Galadriel answered.

"Nightmares," Thranduil answered.

"The same ones you've been having about Maldris?" Galadriel asked as he sat gracelessly in the chair across from her.

Thranduil leaned forward and put his head in his hands. "You have assured me that she is at peace and yet the dreams persist."

"Have you considered," Galadriel began. "That these dreams of yours are a product of your own guilt? Tauriel is gone and so now you dream of her being dismembered.

Thranduil shook his head. "I do wish you would stay out of my head."

"You would make it too difficult to help you if I did," Galadriel told him. "And your nightmares are not a true vision. You simply continue to punish yourself for the transgression of loving someone other than Maldris."

Despite his nap, Thranduil still felt exhausted. He didn't want to have this discussion with Galadriel, he only wanted to sleep and sleep and sleep.

"She wouldn't be angry," Galadriel continued on. "More than anything she would want for your peace and happiness."

"So you say," Thranduil said. "But you were not married to her. You did not know her as I did. You did not experience how possessive she was."

"And protective," Galadriel added. "But I did correspond with her, Thranduil. I was well aware of her insecurities. They only existed because your bond was not true. She was always afraid something terrible would happen to you or that you would meet the true mate to your soul and she'd lose you. She loved you very much, Thranduil."

Thranduil snorted. "And look how I have repaid her. I have fallen in love with someone rather than keeping faith with her."

Galadriel nodded her head. "I understand you feel guilt. But remember, Maldris loved you. She wanted nothing but for your happiness."

"It matters little now," Thranduil said then stood. He grabbed the pillow he had brought with him. "She's dead."  
  
"Do you really think you need more sleep?" Galadriel asked.

"Yes," Thranduil answered then walked away.  
\---

Elrond looked at Tauriel as she rode beside him then back at his sons and Legolas who were lagging behind slightly as they talked with one another. He returned his attention back to Tauriel and took in her sad expression and pale face and asked, "How are you feeling, Tauriel?"

"Very tired," Tauriel answered in a weak voice. "But I think I will be fine until we make camp. I would like to request last watch, I just don't think I could stay awake otherwise."

"Do not worry," Elrond answered. "There are enough of us that you don't need to worry about taking a watch. It would be better that you sleep. Elleths in your condition typically do need a great deal of rest." He let the statement hang in the air for sometime before turning to look at Tauriel who wore a confused expression.

"Elleth's in my condition?" she finally asked. "What do you mean by that?"

Elrond decided not to try to lead Tauriel to the answer. She had been through enough lately. "Pregnancy," he answered. "Pregnancy often makes one feel fatigued, helping a new soul come into being takes a great deal of energy."

Tauriel shook her head and then laughed. "You are mistaken, My Lord. There is no way I could be with child. I haven't even..." She paused. How did she know? She couldn't remember the last few hundred years of her life. She took a deep breath and tried to imagine who she could have possibly made a child with.

"I want you to relax and look into it for yourself. Close your eyes and feel what your body is telling you," Elrond said.

Tauriel closed her eyes then gasped as she saw and felt the new life inside of her. She snapped her eyes open and looked at Elrond. "How did this happen?"

Elrond blew out a long breath of air. "I would hope an elleth of your age would already know about such matters, but..."

"No no," Tauriel interrupted then covered her burning cheeks with her hands. "I mean. I do not remember." She paused not sure how to continue the statement without wanting to crawl under a rock in embarrassment.

Her mind raced as she tried to think of who she could have made a child with and then she gasped. "No," she said as she shook her head. "How is it even possible?"

"Again," Elrond said patiently. "I do think you are old enough to understand how such things occur."

"But he was a dwarve," Tauriel said as she placed her hand over her stomach. "Can we even reproduce with each other." Was it wrong that she felt horror at birthing a half dwarf child?

"Who was a dwarve?" Elrond asked as he shook his head in confusion.

"Kili," Tauriel answered. "Uron told me that during the war in Autumn I had fallen in love with a dwarve. I abandoned my station to go to him. I threatened my king on his behalf. Unfortunately, he did not survive." She felt like she was going to cry. Perhaps if she could remember him it wouldn't be that bad.

Elrond frowned and shook his head and considering cursing Thranduil's name a few million times. "Search yourself, Tauriel. Reach out to the child and tell me what you feel. Is the child part dwarve?"

Tauriel bit her lip then shut her eyes and directed her vision inward. She could feel the life growing inside her. It made her feel warm and giddy just to reach out and touch the little light. She loved the way it brightened as she brushed her fingers against her belly.

"It is not," she said with her eyes still closed. She didn't want to open them as she was to enchanted with interacting with the little soul developing within her. "But, Lord Elrond who? Surely not Legolas. I think it is quite evident that he and I do not have that kind of relationship."

Elrond smiled as he watched her for a moment then said, "Perhaps you should ask he or she knows who their father is."

Tauriel opened her eyes and gave Elrond a look of amazement. "I can communicate with it?"

He chuckled. "Yes, minimally. It is too unformed yet to give you many answers. It is just a small being as of yet, but it should be able to give you the name of its father." He watched closely as Tauriel closed her eyes. He realized he should have waited until they had reached Imladris as he and Galadriel agreed to inform her of her condition, but she was far too unwell and he couldn't let her suffer anymore than she had already.

"No," Tauriel said as her eyebrows furrowed she opened her eyes and looked at Elrond. "No. It does not know. It clearly cannot know. It is completely mistaken."

"Who did it say it's father is?" Elrond asked.

Tauriel swallowed hard and shook her head. "I do not wish to say. It is absurd and impossible." The very idea wasn't as frightening as it was absolutely thrilling. She imagined for a moment being in his arms. She had memories of his mouth against hers. His mouth on her skin. Their bodies joined. She sucked in a shaky breath.

"Thranduil?" Elrond questioned and she looked at him in shock was he reading her mind?

"How did you know?" Tauriel shifted in her saddle as she tried to figure how long it would take her to get back to Thranduil's halls. What would she do once she was there? Confront him most assuredly, but then what? She looked at Elrond who have her a sympathetic look.

"I wasn't supposed to tell you yet," Elrond confessed. "And while I don't know the particulars of your relationship with Thranduil I can understand that you want to go back. I am warning you now that the soul you harbor is a delicate and precious thing and it would be for the best if you spent time away from the influence of the shadow.

"What should I do?" Tauriel asked. She kept her hand on her stomach. It was the only way any of this felt real.

"Stay in my home for a few months, your whole pregnancy if you wish. You are welcome," Elrond told her.

"I mean, what should I do about Legolas? What should I tell my king?" Tauriel asked. Oh how hurt was Legolas going to be. Would he hate her now? Would he hate his father. The last thing she wanted was to be responsible for more distance growing between father and son.

Elrond looked back at Legolas who was laughing with Elladan and Elrohir. "Don't underestimate Legolas' capacity for understanding. You know him well enough to know that he is no fool. As for what you tell Thranduil, that is up to your discretion. However, you cannot hide this from everyone forever. You will have to deal with it eventually."

"Does he know?" Tauriel asked.

"He does not." Elrond confirmed.

"He told me that he and I took comfort with each other. I have memories." She blushed. "Of he and I together after sparring with each other."

Elrond nodded his head. "I am not surprised that out of all your memories that returned to you. But that, happened long ago and he, with your permission made you forget as neither of you were ready to face your feelings for each other."

Tauriel sighed. "I don't know what feelings you're talking about but..."

"Love," Elrond said in irritation. "Forgive me but are you both so out of touch with yourselves that you cannot admit how you feel for each other?"

Tauriel opened and closed her mouth a few times then shook her head. "It's not that. I have no difficulty admitting that I have loved my king more than is acceptable for as long as I can remember, but I cannot imagine that his feelings would be anywhere near the same." And what if they were? She forced herself to hold back the thrill of excitement and joy threatening to overwhelm her.

Elrond nodded his head. "Is it easier for you to believe that he took advantage of your love because he was lonely for his wife?"

Tauriel thought for a moment. "He is far too honorable to do something like that. As far as I am aware he has always remained faithful to his wife and never taken any lovers."

"And why do you think his behavior was so incredibly bad yesterday?" Elrond asked.

Tauriel gave him a wide eyed look "Because he was angry and jealous." Her heart flip flopped a few times and she smiled. "Because he loves me."

"A great deal as I understand it," Elrond answered and smiled as he watched Tauriel process the information with acceptance and joy.

"I have to go back," Tauriel said urgently. "He must be in so much anguish. I did not even say goodbye. He must be so upset!"

Elrond reached out and grabbed her reigns. "Before you rush off to confront him. I want you to stop and consider your child. It needs you right now. It needs you to think of what is best and for now leaving the wood would benefit it the most."

Tauriel sighed then closed her eyes and looked at the golden little light growing within her. She smiled then laughed as she realized this was going to become a habit.

"Tauriel?" Elrond asked after sometime. She looked at him and smiled and he smiled in return. It pleased him to know that the news he had given her had made her content and happy.

"What are you going to tell Legolas?" he finally asked.

"The truth is always the best," Tauriel answered. She frowned as she continued to rub her belly. "I don't want to hurt him. He is a good friend, the best friend. I have never loved him as anything more."

"I advise letting yourself settle in first. I will place you in a room higher up and away from where he stays with Elladan and Elrohir. There will be plenty of time for you to rest and decide what your next move will be."

"I'm going to begin writing him letters," Tauriel said. "Thranduil, I mean. I don't want to tell him of our news right away. I would like to see if our relationship can be rebuilt. If it cannot I would like to ask if I can remain in your realm."

Elrond sighed. "You do need to tell him eventually. The child is his also. He deserves to know."

Tauriel frowned. "I know Thranduil. I know how cold he has been to Legolas. I will not subject my child to such treatment if he will not or cannot change."

"He is thousands of years old, my dear," Elrond warned her. "Those of us who have reached such long years are very slow to change. Be patient with him."

\----

Thranduil was talking to his new assistant, Sidhion when a feeling of giddy warmth rolled over him. He blinked at the ellon standing before him then smiled.  
  
"My Lord?" Sidhion asked. "Does hearing of the shipment of cloth set to go out tomorrow please you?"

Thranduil gave him a questioning look then chuckled. "No," he answered as the feeling ebbed then rushed over him again. "But I am pleased that everything is moving smoothly. You are doing a good job."

"Thank you, My Lord," Sidhion said as he too smiled then bowed. "May I be excused. I would like to check on the food stores and see how many barrels of wine are left in stock."

Thranduil waved him off then turned and found Galadriel watching him. "Good day, My Lady," he said. She had been out in the garden celebrating the arrival of spring with his people while he worked and he wished he could trade places with her.

"Odd is it not?" Galadriel asked. "That suddenly you are feeling so cheerful. Why do you think that is?"

Thranduil growled. "I was not going to question it," he told her. He knew he was experiencing Tauriel's feelings but he didn't wish to know what had filled her with so much excitement and joy.

"At least you know she is well and safe," Galadriel began. "But can you still question the validity of your bond with each other?"

  
"As long as she is happy and content our bond or lack thereof doesn't matter," Thranduil answered as he began walking down the hallway. "And it doesn't concern you."

"Is it difficult living in such deep denial all of the time?" Galadriel asked as she followed him.

Thranduil gave her a sour look. "You are the one constantly prodding and poking through the minds of others without invitation. You tell me."

  
Galadriel chuckled. "It is."

"I am glad you are capable of answering your own asinine questions, My Lady. Perhaps now you can do so in the comfort of your own home and leave me be."

Galadriel shook her head as she followed into his office. She sat on the long couch and watched as he took his place at the desk.

"You should write her a letter apologizing for your behavior," she advised. "It might make you feel better."

Thranduil ignored her as he took out a sheet of paper, picked up his pen and began writing thank you notes for gifts he had so far received during spring celebrations. He had been given a particularly beautiful bolt of clothing that given a choice he would have had made into a gown for Tauriel.

The fabric was the light green of new spring growth, deceivingly simple without much embellishment, but it shifted to yellow and darker green depending on how the light hit it and he knew it would look beautiful against her hair and skin.

"You should ask Maethoreth to make it for you," Galadriel said and Thranduil lifted his head and gave her a sharp look. "She knows Tauriel's measurement's well and while she may not be able to wear it much until next year, I think she would appreciate it."

"Get out of my mind," Thranduil hissed then directed his attention back to his work. He wouldn't ask Mae, she would turn it into something far too fancy for Tauriel's taste. He would ask her father, who had sewn dresses for Maldris and knew how best to make a queen's dress. He smiled a little at the thought then looked up and gave Galadriel a warning look.

"What I am thinking is wrong," Thranduil said then sighed. Tauriel was not nor would she ever be his queen and what would giving her a dress made for one accomplish save to prove he was more of a fool than he thought?

"The fabric will line a new robe rather well," he said more to Galadriel than to himself.

Galadriel shook her head. "As if you need anymore robes." Thranduil ignored her as he continued to work.

\----

Tauriel sighed as she woke from her nap. She was laying on a blanket spread out on the grass beneath the shade of an old oak tree. She smoothed her hand over her stomach then sat up and looked around.

"My Lady," a very tall ellon with the most beautiful long golden hair she had ever seen called as he approached. She had thought that Thranduil, Elrond and Galadriel were the most beautiful and elegant elves she'd ever met but he was even more glorious. She blinked at him as he knelt beside her. "Are you well? Is there anything I can do for you?"

Tauriel shook her head as she pointed to the flask of water. "I'm only thirsty."

"Please pardon my rudeness," he said as he retrieved the water and handed it to her. "But it has been long and long and long yet again since I have encountered an elleth such as yourself. May I sit?"

"Of course," Tauriel replied then took a long drink of her water. She had been spending most of her time either with Legolas and Elrond's sons or wandering through the forest or in her rooms sleeping so she had not had the chance to meet many citizens of Elrond's home.

"I am Glorfindel," he said as he bowed toward her and she gasped and sat up straight.

"It is an honor to meet you," Tauriel said as she tried to straighten her clothes. She was so embarrassed to be caught by the greatest hero her people had ever known lazing about beneath the trees.

"It is an honor to met you," Glorfindel said as he looked her over. "You are Tauriel. You came with Legolas from the woodland realm."

Tauriel swallowed hard. "How did you know?"

Glorifindel chuckled. "There has been great talk of the red-haired elleth from Mirkwood."

"I see," Tauriel replied. "I'm not sure how I feel about being the topic of so many conversations."

"You must forgive me," Glorifindel told her. "Lord Elrond has asked us not to approach you as you need a great deal of space and rest and now I see why. You are growing a child within your womb."

Tauriel put her hand on her stomach and frowned. "I haven't known for long. You can tell?" As far as she could see there was no physical evidence of her pregnancy and as she had not yet told Legolas it was upsetting that this ellon could tell.

"I can tell because there is a light around you," Glorifindel told her. "A glow that only those who have seen it before would recognize. "It is a great honor to have you here in Imladris, Lady Tauriel."

"It is more of an honor to meet you, Lord Glorifndel. I have heard so many stories about you." In many ways he was on of her worst fears in the flesh. An elf who had died but returned. What if the same happened to Maldris. She would lose Thranduil.

He smiled. "Stories about me abound. Pregnant elleth's are very rare. The last I remember was when Celebrian was carrying Arwen and that was a very long time ago indeed. Once everyone learns your condition I fear you will develop quite a following of curious and pleased people."

Tauriel sighed and looked up at the perfect blue sky. "I suppose I cannot put off telling him any longer."

"The father?" Glorifindel asked. His eyebrows furrowed and shook his head. "He does not know?"

"No, nor do my travel companions," Tauriel answered.

Glorifindel gave her a searching look. "Very unusual indeed. You chose to become with child on your own without discussing it with him?"

Tauriel pulled her knees up in her chest in a protective posture. "I am uncertain, but I think so. I had an accident and lost my memory. But he does not know. And before you ask he is still in Mirkwood."

Glorifindel gave her a sympathetic look. "You are going to need someone to look after you while you are here. Someone other than Elrond who is every occupied with some matter or another or your friend Legolas as he is from Mirkwood as well, otherwise you will know no peace. Would you allow me the honor of accepting me as such?"

"Oh no," Tauriel said. "I do not wish to be a bother. You are far too important to deal with a wayward elleth no one from Mirkwood."

Glorifindel reached out and lifted her chin so he could look into her face. "The new life is a beacon of hope for our people. Many of us are very, very old and weary. You will give them joy. Please accept my offer, My Lady."

"Alright," Tauriel agreed and he smiled.

"I must be off for now. When you are ready to seek me out I can be most frequently found in The Hall of Fire but do not fear to ask for me. " He stood then bowed and began walking away he took one more look at her then disappeared through the trees.

"Well I suppose I better find Legolas," Tauriel said to her stomach. "But let us find something to eat first. You are giving me the most insatiable craving for apples."  
\---

Legolas looked up from the book he was reading as Tauriel walked into the room. He smiled at her at first then frowned at the look on his face.

"I have something very important to discuss with you," Tauriel told him and he closed the book he was holding and put it on the table.

"I can tell that this will not be a happy discussion," he said. He looked down at his hands and took a deep breath. "And it isn't as though I do not know it in my heart."

"I am so sorry, Legolas," Tauriel told him. "You must know that I adore you! I love you dearly, but not in that way. I cannot become your bride, not even after years and years."

Legolas nodded his head. "I wish I could change your mind, Tauri. It is enough for me that you love me at all. I love you enough for the both of us." He didn't want to give up on her. He had never felt for someone the way he did for Tauriel and he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that there was no one else for him in Middle Earth.

Tauriel bit her lip as tears filled her eyes. "That would be terribly unfair to you Legolas. You deserve someone who loves you just as much as you love them. Someone you can share a bond with."

Legolas shook his head. "It does not matter now Tauriel. I told you I would accept your decision and nothing would change and I meant it. We will always be the best of friends."

"I certainly hope so," Tauriel said. "Especially after you hear all I have to say." He gave her a curious look and she sighed. She didn't want to tell him. She had just hurt him enough already, but she couldn't hold the information any longer.

"I-I am," she began. "I have been in love with someone else for a very long time."

"Someone who is not Kili?" Legolas asked as he carefully maintained control over his emotions. Tauriel could tell that he wanted to get away from her and lick his wounds and not hear about some other person she loved.

"Yes," Tauriel answered. "But I believed there was no possibility of him returning my affections and so I gave up. I think that's how I fell in love with Kili. I am very sorry it wasn't you."

"As am I," Legolas said. "Who is the ellon you love?" He was trembling now and Tauriel's heart ached for him.

Tauriel bit her lip. "Sometime after you left he and I began a relationship. I dearly wish I could remember but I cannot."

"Who is he?" Legolas asked. "Why did he not come forward after your accident."

"Because he was intent on letting me go. He feels that I deserve better," Tauriel answered. She hated that she had to repeat this part of the conversation with him but would so as much as he needed to understand.

Legolas snorted and shook his head. "He sounds like a fool. Perhaps he is correct. If he is pushing you away perhaps you should let him go."

"I am carrying his child," Tauriel said quickly then looked down at her hands as her face flamed. She didn't dare look up at Legolas.

"You married him?" Legolas asked as he clenched his fists. "You are wed and he could not speak up? Tell me who it is and I will have him beat within an inch of his life. How dare he do this to you!"

"He doesn't know and we were not married," Tauriel answered.

Legolas shook his head violently. "You know our laws, Tauri. Perhaps not in the eyes of all people yet, but having.." He paused and straightened his shoulders. "Having had relations with him, you are in the most basic sense, married. Now who is he so I can have him dealt with."

"Oh Eru this is difficult," Tauriel said then took a deep breath then another and another.

"Just tell me," Legolas said as he tried to maintain his calm. "I promise not to kill him."

Tauriel closed his eyes. "It is my king," she said softly. "It is your father." Legolas was silent for so long that Tauriel finally forced herself to look up at him and meet the stunned expression on his face.

"Legolas?"

"My father?" he asked softly as he watched her face. She knew he was searching her trying to sense if she was telling him the truth.

"Yes," Tauriel answered. "I know you have a million questions but I cannot remember enough to answer any of them except I have loved your father since just after I turned one hundred, but I do believe I loved him before then.

"And he loves you in return?" Legolas asked as he stood and began pacing around the room.

Tauriel shook her head. "I don't know, Legolas. I don't remember. Since I woke from my slumber he spoke to me only a few times. I think.. I think he does."

"Eru!" Legolas hissed. "Excuse me." He started walking out of the room then turned back to Tauriel as tears started falling down her face.

"Forgive me," he said as he put her hand on her shoulder. "I won't go and leave you to believe that I am angry at you or that I don't care for you, love you or still consider you my dearest friend, but I need to be alone right now. I would rather you didn't see me as angry as I am right now."

"Thank you, Legolas. You are honorable and kind and deserve so much better." Tauriel sniffled and he bent and kissed the top of her head before walking away.

Tauriel waited a few minutes before getting up and walking toward the library hoping to find Lord Elrond. He was sitting where she hoped he would be and looked up as she approached.

"A letter arrived for you a few hours ago. It's in my office," he told her then took in her distress. "Are you well?"

"I told Legolas," Tauriel said and Elrond stood and took her into a fatherly embrace and held her while she cried.

"Was he very hurt?" Elrond asked as he rocked her back and forth as he had Arwen many times when she had cried.

"Yes," Tauriel answered. "And angry at his father. He is going to always hate him and it's my fault!"

"Hush," Elrond said as he soothed her. "You owed nothing to Legolas. You were never promised to him. He is no fool. He will realize the truth and accept it. Thranduil could no more help loving you than you could help loving him. Somethings are destined and blessed by the Valar and I believe this is one of them."

"Thank you," Tauriel said as she pulled herself out of Elrond's embrace. "Thank you for your kindness, wisdom, and understanding."

Elrond smiled at her. "It is my pleasure, Tauriel. And now that Legolas knows there are members of my court who will be excited to approach you. It is not easy to hide your pregnancy but they have kept their distance at my request."

"Yes," Tauriel said then gave him a shaky smile. "I met Glorifindel earlier and he said as much. He has offered to look after me." She laughed as she remembered her encounter with the ellon.

"Good," Elrond said then sighed deeply. "I was worried who I would appoint to look after you. I can think of no one better than Glorifindel himself."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear reader, you've know idea how much I usually loath the pregnancy trope. I tried to avoid it here, but this is simply how the story goes and it was the best way to resolve matters without going on for 5 million chapters, which I simply do not have the heart or energy to do.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this fic you will meet a character named Meriang. She is an original character belonging to IronRoseofRivendell and makes an appearance in tribute to our friendship and is used with her permission. I hope you all like her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry the last chapter ened so oddly. I hope this makes up for it.

  
Elrond led Tauriel to his office and dug around on a table for the letter that arrived earlier that day from Mirkwood. There was no royal seal closing it so he simply assumed it was from Mae.

"Here," he said as he passed it to Tauriel. "I suspect your friend sent this. I am certain she misses you."

"I miss her too," Tauriel said as she opened the letter. Her eyes widened as she began reading.

"What is it?" Elrond asked as she sat with a thump.

"It's a letter from him," Tauriel answered. She swallowed hard and began to read.

 _Dearest Tauriel,_  


_I_ _am writing to humbly ask for your forgiveness for my behavior. It was wrong of me to accuse you of having an illicit relationship with my son. I have little excuse save for that seeing you with him made me angry and jealous in the worst possible way._  
_There are many things you do not remember about this winter and yet I recall everything with great fondness. I enjoyed the time we spent together every evening. I enjoyed getting to know you better. I enjoyed your company and losing it has caused more pain than I could have possibly imagined._  
_My behavior was not only unbefitting of an ellon my age but unbefitting for that of a king. I have begged Lady Galadriel for her forgiveness as well as my people and received the blessing of their understanding. I will be writing a letter to Lord Elrond, his sons, and Legolas asking for their forgiveness as well._  
_I am in anguish that you have been hurt by my actions and that you needed to leave without saying good-bye. Since that day there has been a hole in my heart. I miss you, Tauriel and wish I had the right to ask you to return home. I do not. I do not deserve your friendship nor do I deserve your forgiveness. I ask for both nonetheless._

 _Your servant in all things,_  
_Thranduil Opherion_

  
"Oh," Tauriel said as she finished the letter then read it again and again. A little smile curled on the corners of her mouth and she looked at Elrond.

"May I?" he asked and Tauriel smiled. Part of her wanted to tuck the letter to her heart and keep it close, but a larger part wanted someone to discuss it with so she passed it to him.

Elrond's eyebrows rose so high as he read that Tauriel imagined it would take very little for them to jump from his face and run away. He smiled wistfully then looked up at Tauriel.

"Your servant in all things," he said. "If that is not a confession of love then I know nothing." Tauriel took the letter as Elrond returned it to her and smiled as she read it over again. She put her hand on her stomach and sighed.

"It is good to see you happy. I am pleased Thranduil has seen the error of his ways," Elrond said and Tauriel nodded.

"There is hope. Isn't there?" she asked.

"I believe so," Elrond told her. "Our concern for now is Legolas and the pain he must be feeling. I can only assume that he has gone to talk to my sons. They are wise and level headed and will help him deal with this.

\---

"What are you doing?" Elladan asked as he watched Legolas filling his pack with supplies.

"I am going to Mirkwood to kill my adar," Legolas answered and Elladan opened his mouth in shock then turned to Elrohir who stood in the door.

"Why?" Elladan asked.

"Because he has stolen Tauriel from me," Legolas answered angrily as he stopped and turned to Elladan. "He knew how I loved her and yet he pursued her and won her heart."

"When was this?" Elrohir asked as he locked the door. "When did you find out?"

Legolas returned to his packing. "Tauriel told me only moments ago. I understand that she does not feel she can marry me. What I don't understand is how my own Adar could do this. It gets worse. You won't believe it but it is true."

"How could it get worse?" Elladan asked as he moved to stand beside his brother at the door.

"She's pregnant!" Legolas yelled then threw his pack across the room in rage. "The thieving monster has compromised her and left her with child! He is wed already to my Naneth! He is a philandering, evil, thieving monster!"

"And yet he is still your Adar," Elrohir pointed out.

Legolas held up his hand and shook his head. "No," he replied. "I belong to my naneth. He is not nor will he ever be my Adar."

"So you are leaving?" Elladan asked as he looked at the pack which had hit the wall and whose contents had spilled all over the floor.

"Yes," Legolas asked as he moved to repack the bag. "I am going back home and I'm going to rip his head from his shoulders with my bare hands."

"Alright," Elrohir began. "How can we best help you? I mean if you think killing your father is really in your best interest. You are aware that should he die you will wear his crown?"

Legolas took a deep breath and shook his head. "And," Elladan added. "That will put an end to your freedom."

"And," Elrohir continued. "Tauriel loves your father, so killing him will be a horrible blow. It might even cause her to fade."

"Not only that," Elladan said. "But it could affect the child Tauriel is now carrying."

"That would be your brother or sister," Elrohir told Legolas and nodded his head.

"So killing him is not the wisest course of action," Elldan continued.

Legolas growled. "I still wish to confront him and if not kill him then beat him senseless for what he has done. He has a great deal to answer for."

"Elladan and I will support you in this," Elrohir said. "However let us go talk to my adar before we depart and let him know of our destination."

Legolas shook his head. "So he can talk me out of it? I don't think so. No. I am leaving right away. If you are not going to come with me I understand. Please do not stand in my way."

"Elrohir go tell Adar we are leaving. Legolas help me gather our things together, " Elladan said.  
\---

Tauriel was smiling as she walked out of Elrond's office. The letter was safely tucked in her shirt and she was winding her secret braid around her finger. She knew for certain now that he had put it there and she couldn't help but laugh.

"You're adar is a foolish, foolish ellon," Tauriel said to her belly then sighed as she walked across the grounds to a nearby fountain.

"Hello," called a dark haired elleth who was sitting on a nearby bench. "You are Lady Tauriel are you not?"

"I am," Tauriel answered as she walked forward and sat beside the lady.

"My name is Miri. I am pleased to make your acquaintance. We have all been looking forward to meeting you."

"You have?" Tauriel asked then frowned and remembered what Glorfindel had told her. She looked at Miri who was giving her a pleading look.

"I know it is terribly forward," she began. "To ask to touch you as I am not but a stranger to you, but may I?"

Tauriel gave her a look of confusion and then the realization hit her. Miri was interested in the baby. "Of course," she said as she took Miri's hand and placed it on her stomach.

Miri closed her eyes for a moment then gasped. "Oh it is so early yet! But he is already so strong and vibrant."

"He?" Tauriel asked as her breath caught and Miri shook her head.

"Or she. It is too early for me to be certain. Maybe others can tell. Oh Lady Tauriel it has been so long since I have beheld such a delight. I cannot begin to thank you." She reluctantly removed her hand from Tauriel's stomach.

"My sister, Iellwen has also been longing to meet you. Would it be too much of a bother to stay here so I can fetch her?"

Tauriel shook her head and laughed. "I hadn't planned on going anywhere. I will wait." Miri bowed to her and then walked swiftly from the garden, turning back once to smile at her.

"Good day, Lady Tauriel," Glorfindel said as he sat beside Tauriel. "It looks as if the dam has burst and the wave of curiosity can he held back no longer. I saw Lady Miri speaking with you I thought it might be a good idea to sit with you. How are you feeling?"

Tauriel smiled. "I am better than I have in a long time." She rubbed her stomach then looked up as a crowd of no less than a dozen elleths, lead by Miri, began approaching.

"And it is so small and bright!" Tauriel could hear her saying. "You must see it. It is beautiful."

"And so it begins," Glorfindel told her. "Brace yourself Lady Tauriel for this will be no different than a fearsome battle."

Before Tauriel could remark on Glorfindel's words she was surrounded by elleths. Some knelt reverently before her as Miri sat beside her and they all begged to please be allowed to touch her stomach and see the child.

"One at a time," Glorfindel told them and they quieted.

"Miri, move over," one of the ladies said. "You've already had your turn." And so it was that one by one each elleth took their turn beside Tauriel. They all gasped when they put their hand on her and closed her eyes. Some laughed and some cried but it was clear they were all grateful to interact with the new life Tauriel was carrying.

"Oh look at her in those rags," Tauriel could hear one of the elleth's complain. "Mirkwood is such a terrible, uncivilized place. We must see her taken care of. "

"I have a few dresses that should fit her," another elleth said.

"I have the most cunning pair of white fawn skin boots that I would be willing to part with," added another.

Tauriel who had been so busy listening to the plans being made to outfit her and to bring her into decent society that she didn't realize how large the crowd around her had grown.

"Are you feeling tired yet?" Glorfindel asked gently as he lifted the hand the elleth beside her from Tauriel's stomach.

"Yes," Tauriel answered then yawned and everyone sighed in adoration.

Glorfindel laughed then stood and addressed the crowd which he was certain was every last high ranking elleth in Imladris. "Now that you have met Lady Tauriel and her child I hope that you will each have the grace and courtesy not to ask night and day to touch her. Looking should be plenty for most of you and I trust that you will not stare."

"Of course not!" one of the many elleths said. "You treat us as if we are uncouth children, Glorfindel."

He raised his eyebrows at her and she looked down at the ground. "And now Lady Tauriel needs to rest. Those of you who have had children know how exhausting it can be to grow a child and should make those who have not understand."

"My lady," he said to Tauriel as he offered her his hand. He helped her stand then escorted her from the garden all the way up to her room where he bowed and left her to rest.

"Amazing," Tauriel said as she pulled off her boots. She walked to the mirror and looked at her clothes. She was wearing a green tunic and brown leggings, one of her newer pair and hardly rags as all the ladies complained. She looked at her boots. Yes they were well worn, but they were comfortable and she would not part with them.

She pulled off her tunic and her leggings then examined herself in the mirror. If she squinted her eyes just right she could tell that her flat belly wasn't quite as flat as it had been before. She thrilled as she rubbed the faint bump.

"Are you ready for a nap, gwinig?" she asked as she picked up Thranduil's letter when she had put it on the table and tucked it beneath her pillow before falling to sleep.  
\----

Galadriel smiled to as she watched Thranduil walking through the halls talking to a group of ellons as they discussed planting for the year. It was rare to see him so relaxed and smiling and she knew it was due to Tauriel's feelings of happiness and contentment.

She had been afraid at first that he would reject her emotions, but he was clearly worn out of feeling sorrow and pain and had embraced the positive feelings without fighting them at all. She knew his good mood bounced back to Tauriel and it warmed her heart to know that even though they were far apart and had not even reconciled their feelings for each other, that they were still able to comfort each other.

"Why are you smiling like that?" Thranduil asked trying to sound irritated but failing.

"I am smiling because I am enjoying seeing you at peace, Thranduil," Galadriel said. "I had dispared of ever seeing you happy again."

"I am not happy," Thranduil told her. "In fact I am upset and lonely, but what can I do about it?"

  
Galadriel nodded her head. "Have you considered what you are going to say when Legolas confronts you? He is going to learn about you and Tauriel sooner rather than later."

Thranduil frowned. "I will face it when and if it comes. Perhaps the reason I feel so peaceful is because she has accepted him in her heart and they are now betrothed." Oh the very thought of it made him want to retch.

"You certainly are good at lying to yourself, Thranduil," Galadriel said.

"Let's change the subject," Thranduil began. "When are you going home?"  
\---

"Where is Legolas?" Tauriel asked the next day as she walked into the rooms he had been sharing with Elladan and Elrohir. She had been forced to dodge several different groups of elleths and ellons on the way. They were all intent on examining her and discussing her pregnancy, her so called, unfortunate life in Mirkwood, and to offer invitations to dinner and other charities such as dresses to replace her "unfortunate rags".

Tauriel turned to the gorgeous elleth who was sitting by their door reading a book. The elleth was dressed in a black and silver tunic and dark leather trousers and black boots, and would have been intimidating to Tauriel if she herself were not a warrior.

"They left yesterday," the elleth answered as she looked up at Tauriel. "To Mirkwood and had I known I would have gone with them. I would very much like to visit the woodland realm."

"Why would they have gone to Mirkwood?" Tauriel asked as she covered her stomach protectively.

"I believe Prince Legolas was angry at his father. I do not know much else" she answered, the timber of her voice was as cultured and as rich as her hair. She watched the distress grow on Tauriel's face. She reached out to steady her and then stood and helped Tauriel sit.

"Is there anything I can get you?" she asked. "My name is Meriang, I am a friend of Elladan and Elrohir."

"You are very tall," Tauriel remarked as she took in the silver beads that fastened the braids in the front of her hair along with the silver tiara she wore and Meriang laughed.

"I have been told such by many. You are lady Tauriel?"

"Does my reputation proceed me?" Tauriel asked.

Meriang tilted her head as her gray eyes flashed in amusement. "Legolas has talked about you a great deal. You match his description of an elleth with beautiful red hair and beauty beyond compare."

"Oh," Tauriel said then sighed. "You make it sound as if he has been composing poetry about me."

Meriang laughed. "He has and I have been privy to much of it and I must admit there are times when his rhymes are a bit questionable." She frowned as Tauriel bent forward and put her hands in her face.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" She dared to put her hand on Tauriel's back.

"I do not share his feelings," Tauriel explained. "I have known about them but never returned them. I feel so terrible. Everything would have been so much easier had I just loved him instead."

Meriang shook her head. "We don't choose who we love. If that were true I would be able to tell you that I love Elladan over Elrohir or Elrohir over Elladan. Choosing is impossible. We can only go where our hearts lead us."

Tauriel squeezed her eyes shut tight. "But the one I love is his father. I love his father and it is going to tear their relationship apart. I don't want to be responsible for that!"

Meriang shook her head. "What a terrible situation. We can only pray that they can work it out." She paused. "You came to Rivendell because you are with child correct?"

"Yes," Tauriel sighed. "And as such I have become a terrible curiosity. Are you going to ask to touch my stomach?"

"No," Meriang told her and laughed. "And should you want to get away you are always welcome to visit me. I work in the forge most of the time when I am not on the practice field working on my fighting skills."

"I would like that," Tauriel said then sighed. "I should go see Lord Elrond."

"Would you like me to go with you?" Meriang asked. "Too keep the overcurious at bay of course."

"Would you?" Tauriel asked and Meriang laughed and nodded

\---

Elrond looked up as Tauriel and Meriang entered the library. He smiled as the former bowed to him. "It is good to see you out of the forge and in the sunlight," he told her seriously and Meriang gave him a timid smile.

"I met Tauriel near Elladan and Elrohir's rooms. She was unware that they had left with Legolas so I brought her to speak with you." Tauriel shifted from one foot to another, feeling like an awkward child standing beside Meriang then looked at Elrond.

"Yes," he said then turned to Tauriel. "You were resting yestereday and I thought it better to let you have your peace. There wasn't much you could do as they had already left."

"Did Legolas say why he was going?" Tauriel asked.

Elrond sighed. "I did not speak to him, but he was intent on confronting his father for stealing you away from him."

Tauriel shook her head. "What does that mean?" she asked. "How could Thranduil have stole me when I never belonged to Legolas to begin with?"

"I would have said as much to him had I the chance," Elrond answered. "But they left and it is Thranduil's problem to deal with now."

"I wish I could get a letter to him before Legolas reaches him," Tauriel said as she sat, feeling suddenly tired as usual.

Elrond pulled several sheets of paper from a nearby shelf and handed them to Tauriel. "Write it quickly and I will see what I can do."

\-----

Thranduil was on his way to hold court when his assisant, Sidhion ran toward him. "My Lord! A messenger from Imladris came with this letter," he panted. "He said to give it to you right away, that it is of the utmost importance."

"Thank you," Thranduil said as he took the letter then stepped out of the hall into an alcove and sat to read the letter.

_My Dearest and most beloved Thranduil,_

    _I am writing to you on a matter of utmost urgency. Legolas has learned of our relationship and is on his way to confront you at this very moment. There are many things I wish to tell you myself and I can only hope and pray that this letter reaches you before he does._  
_I still do not remember the events of this winter but I do remember our last training session before I became captain of the guard. I asked you to make me forget, but I have remembered. I know you love me, Thranduil. I love you also. I could tell you a million times a million that I do not feel the same love for Legolas that I feel for you and I think you would not believe me._  
_Legolas is going to accuse you of stealing him from him. I have never belonged to him, only to you from the begining of my memory of you to the end of all time. Please believe me._  
_The other valuable news I would prefer to relate on my own is that I am with child. As I do not remember our time together perhaps you can shed light on how it happened without either of us willing it._  
_Lord Elrond has asked that I remain in Imladris for a time as the new life I am harboring is delicate and would grow better away from the shadow. However, I miss you. I would like to speak with you and hope that, now that I have remembered our relationship, that you will no longer deny it._

 _Melinyel,_  
_Tauriel_

"Galadriel!" Thranduil called as he finished the letter then turned to see Sidhion rushing for him yet again.

"My Lord," Sidhion gasped. "Prince Legolas has arrived and is asking to see you."

"Tell him to meet me in the training fields and tell him nothing more. I need to find Galadriel. I will be with him shortly." Thranduil looked at the letter again then looked around for Galadriel. Blasted Elleth, she was at his back every second of the day and the moment when he finally needs her she's nowhere to be found.

He made his way to his rooms, changed into his armor then sighed and went to meet with Legolas.  
\---

"Adar," Legolas said as he stood in the middle of the training ground with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Legolas," Thranduil replied as he took in the look of displeasure on his son's face. "I hear tell that you have come to confront me on what you deem to be my misdeeds."

"Yes," Legolas said coldly. "How could you, Adar?"

Thranduil walked around his son. "How could I what? Love her? I ask you how could I not?"

"When I asked you for your blessing and you advised me against it. You loved her then didn't you?" Legolas asked.

Thranduil gave his son a thoughtful look. "I dare say that I loved her long before you even realized she was an elleth worthy of your admiration."

"You stole her from me," Legolas accused and Thranduil chuckled as Tauriel had warned him of the accusation.

"Legolas," he began. "How is it possible for me to steal away a heart that never belonged to you to begin with?"

Legolas shook his head. "You are already married, Adar! What about Naneth?"

"Eru," Thranduil said. "I know Legolas. Why do you think I tried to stay away from Tauriel? I put not only my self but her through countless years of torture because I was unable to understand how I could love Tauriel so feircely and yet mourn your mother so deeply.

"The fact of the matter is, that your mother and I loved each other, but our bond was not true nor deep. She had promised herself to another long before we met and lost him. Tauriel and I on the other hand have a true bond. I can feel her even now." He put his hand to his heart.

Legolas hung his head and Thranduil walked closer to him. "I am sorry to have caused you so much pain, Ion nin."

"You are greedy and selfish," Legolas hissed. "And I don't know if I can forgive you for this."

Thranduil unsheathed his sword then knelt and offered the sword to Legolas. "If you wish to slay me, Ion nin then you will do so with my sword. It, along with my crown and this kingdom will become yours. I will always love you, but Tauriel and the child she carries, will never belong to you." He bowed his head while still offering the blade and Legolas yelled and walked several steps away.

"You know I can't kill you!" he shouted. "Damn you, Adar!"

"I am deeply sorry, Legolas." Thranduil said though he did not stand.

Legolas growled and walked around the yard for a moment before returned to wear his father still knelt. "Stand up," he ordered. "You look foolish kneeling there like that."

Thranduil stood and put his sword away as he watched Legolas. "It was never my intention for this to happen," he told his son. "I did everything I could to keep away from her and in so doing I hurt everyone much more than if I had been honest with myself and you."

"Yes," Legolas said his expression one of sorrow and distaste. "Worse is that you let me think. You let me think I had a chance with her after Kili died." He wiped the tears from his eyes.  
"You let me make a fool out of myself in front of her thinking I had your blessing only to be rejected because even though she could not remember, her heart always knew."

Thranduil hung his head. "Forgive me, Ion nin."

"It is not that simple, Adar!" Legolas yelled. "You can't do something like this. You cannot allow my heart to be shattered and expect the words, "Forgive me" to heal the wound."

"Yes," Thranduil said as he put his hand to his heart. "I understand. I'm sor.. Of course."

Legolas stared at him a moment longer. "I'm going back to Imladris. I don't know when I will return, if ever."

"I hope that you can find it in your heart to do so someday," Thranduil said.

Legolas took a deep breath. "Good bye, Adar," he said then began walking away.

"Cormamin niuve tenna' ta elea lle au'," Thranduil called after his son and Legolas stopped for a moment.

"Tenna' san', Adar," Legolas said then walked away.  
\----

 

Tauriel was sitting beneath her favorite oak listening to Glorfindel telling stories of epic battles of the past and guarding her from overly curious elves who wished to touch her stomach which much to her delight had grown just a little bit bigger, enough for her to privately be aware that she carried a child.

She had not seen Legolas in a month, since he had returned from Mirkwood, but she had heard the tale of the fight between he and Thranduil from her new friend Meriang and thought it best to leave Legolas alone to lick his wounds.

"And then with a swing of my sword I cut the Balrog's mighty helm in twain," Glorifindel said then paused as Elrond, carrying a rather large parcel approached.

"Good day, Lord Glorfindel," he said. "Lady Tauriel. A delivery has arrived from Mirkwood with your name on it."

"For me?" Glorfindel gasped then laughed at the look on Elrond's face.

"You know very well it's for Tauriel." He gave the package to Tauriel who placed it on the ground and began opening it. She gasped and she pulled a dress made of the most beautiful green silk she'd ever seen in her life. Along with it was a simple silver crown and a letter from Thranduil.

She blushed bright red and Glorfindel shook his head. "I guess you are right, Elrond. It must be for Tauriel. I would never wear a green dress. Blue is more my color."

"I prefer purple myself," Elrond said in amusement. "But unfortunately I don't believe it suits my complexion.

"You are both ridiculous," Tauriel told them as she laughed then opened the letter and again blushed deep red.

"What does he say?" Elrond asked.

"You are terribly nosy for a wise old ellon," Glorfindel teased. "Let the young lovers be."

"I will have you know Thranduil and I are not terribly far apart in years," Elrond said then looked at Tauriel who was smiling.

"He is coming for me," she said happily. "In a few weeks. He has a great deal of work to deal with first but then he is going to come and bring me home."

"Thranduil in Rivendell?" Glorfindel asked in astonishment then looked at Elrond.

"Eru help us," Elrond said. "At last we'll have time to prepare. I cannot imagine the toes he's going to step on." He winked at Tauriel who out of what was now a habit, put her hand on her stomach and smiled.  
\---

Thranduil dismounted from his newly trained elk and looked around the pristine beauty that was Imladris. Standing not too far away on a winding stone staircase, Elrond stood waiting for him, with a terribly smug grin on his face.

"Welcome!" Elrond called walking to meet Thranduil half way. "I am so glad to have you here. I cannot remember your last visit."

"I have wiped it from my mind myself," Thranduil replied as he looked around for Tauriel.

"She is waiting for you beneath her favorite tree," Elrond told him. "She wanted to be reunited with you without an audience. Through I think she will hard pressed to find complete privacy. My people are incredibly interested in her."

"Which is why I'm taking her home," Thranduil told Elrond as he took off his riding gloves. "Now please lead the way to her favorite tree." It was so like Tauriel to find a tree and declare it to be her favorite. He laughed at the thought.

He followed Elrond up and down several steps then stopped as he spotted Tauriel sitting and laughing with golden haired ellon. He gave Elrond an accusing look.

"Glorfindel has taken a liking to Tauriel and has become very protective of her," Elrond answered ans he clasped his hands behind his back. "Now go, she's waiting for you."

Thranduil turned to see that Glorfindel had stood and helped Tauriel to stand. His heart was thumping in his throat as he began walking forward. Tauriel herself began running and before he knew it she was in his arms.

"Thranduil!" she cried out and he held her close, showering kisses on the top of her head and then her face and then her lips.

"Melamin," he told her. "I have missed you."

"I have missed you too," Tauriel cried as she put her hands on both sides of his face and looked into his eyes. "More than I have words for." He smiled a moment then kissed her again.

"How are you feeling?" he asked as he quelled the urge to continue kissing and touching her, though he did not take his hands from around her waist.

"Tired mostly," Tauriel said then took Thranduil's hand and placed it on her stomach.

"Tauriel," he whispered then closed his eyes and sighed deeply.

"He loves you too," Tauriel told him.

Thranduil opened his eyes. "He? Are you certain?"

"Yes," Tauriel answered as she watched Thranduil's face. "I have had so many people wanting to touch me and everyone who claims to know about such things says it is a he. We have a son, Thranduil."

Thranduil sighed. "I am not sure having another son will help Legolas heal much. Have you seen him?"

Tauriel shook her head. "He stays away from me. I cannot blame him at all. But he'll get over it eventually I believe. He is a good and just person. Like his father."

"In a few hundred years perhaps," Thranduil said with his hand still on Tauriel's stomach. "And when he does he will be welcome.

Tauriel nodded her head. "Welcomed and loved," she agreed then yawned. "Can we go to my room? I need to lie down and you must be very tired from your journey."

Thranduil smoothed his hand against her hair. "Having you beside me has chased away any fatigue but if you need to rest I would gladly go with you."

"Good," Tauriel said as she linked her arm with his and began leading him away. "Because I don't think I could bare to be separated from you so soon after being reunited with you."

"I agree," Thranduil replied then looked to find they were being surreptitiously watched by many different elves. "And privacy would be nice."

Tauriel laughed. "Privacy? For me? That is a joke. You'd think they'd never seen a pregnant elleth before. I understand that it's rare but they always want to touch me. I feel like some strange relic or curiosity. Glorfindel says I make them feel hopeful."

Thranduil hummed. "You've made quite the friend out of Glorfindel." He couldn't help but be jealous. Tauriel belonged to him and no one else.

"He is very kind and very handsome," Tauriel said as they walked up the steps to her room. "Almost as handsome as you, My King."

"Almost?" Thranduil asked as they stopped at the door to her room and looked at her. His grin grew as she rubbed the furrow between his eyebrows with her fingertip.

Tauriel laughed. "You're very vain."

"I am very jealous," he told her then stepped aside as she opened the door. Once inside he didn't allow her to say another word before spinning her into her arms and kissing her until she couldn't breathe.

"I've missed this," he said as he allowed her to gain her breath then kissed her again as he began unbuttoning her tunic. "I do not deserve you nor your forgiveness."

"I think I have too," Tauriel said as she unfastened the golden jacket he wore and pushed it from his shoulders. "And we both deserve to be happy."

Thranduil removed the bindings from her chest and his breath caught as he cupped her breasts they were larger and heavier than he remembered and he looked into her eyes. "Why are you not wearing the dress I sent you?" he asked as he ran his thumb over one hardened peaks and Tauriel gasped.

"That dress was made for a queen, Thranduil. I am no queen!" She pulled at his shirt until he gave up caressing her breasts and lifted it over his head and discarded it.

"Tauriel," he said seriously as he put his hands on either side of her face and looked into her eyes. "You are a queen. You are my queen. You are my wife and will be in the eyes of our people soon enough what do you think that makes you?"

"Not a queen," Tauriel said then sighed as his fingers danced against her skin.

"Yes a queen," Thranduil told her as he unfastened her leggings and removed them, stopping along the way to place several kisses on her barely bulging stomach.

"I am not..," Tauriel started then gasped as he pushed her back on the bed and kissed her in the most pleasurable and private of places.

"You are," he told her then let his tongue explore her silken core until she was gasping and begging for more.

"Admit you are my queen," he told her as he slid his finger inside her. Tauriel moaned and shook her head and he lightened his touch. Oh he knew just how to drive her to the edge of insanity.

"I am," she panted. "I am. I am. Please." Thranduil laughed and then dipped his head down and lathed his tongue over her tender flesh until she cried out his name over and over and over in release.

"Say it," he ordered as he kissed his way up her body, stopping again to shower kisses on her stomach.

"I am," she told him.

"No. Say you are my queen," he told her then sucked one of her nipples into his mouth.

"Ahhh yes," Tauriel said as she buried her fingers into his hair. "Yes."

"Yes, what?" Thranduil asked as he moved to the other.

"Yes that feels amazing," Tauriel said and then shivered as Thranduil laughed against her skin.

"If I didn't fear hurting the baby I would take you over my knee and spank you," Thranduil said then gasped at the look Tauriel gave him.

"Promises, promises, My Lord." She pushed him away until he was laying on the bed and she could straddle him.

"I had all these ideas of what I wanted to do to you when we were together again at last and I find that I just want to simply have you inside me," Tauriel said as she let her hand slide over his chest.

Thranduil smiled as he lifted one of her hands and kissed her palm. "There is no rush, Melamin."

Tauriel laughed. "I feel as though we have had this discussion before."

"We have," Thranduil said as he sat up and put his arms around her. "And I am certain we will have it again and again."

Tauriel kissed him and laughed then gasped as he reached between them and touched her. She closed her eyes and leaned into him and sighed.

"And you are tired," he told her as he kissed her hair and let his fingers dance circles on her flesh. "We should rest."

"I am not that tired, Thranduil," she said then reached between them and caressed him before trying to slide down his body, kissing his shoulders and chest as she went.

"No," he told her as he pulled her up. "I can tell you're tired. You need to rest."

"What I need is you," she told him and whined as he tried to move her off of him. She tightened her legs around him and he laughed.

"I love you, Tauriel," he whispered then kissed her. "Oh so very much." With that they made love with each other until Tauriel could no longer keep her eyes open.

Thranduil could not keep from touching her face, her hair, or her stomach as he lay on her side and watched her sleep. When she finally opened her eyes and smiled at him they made love again.  
\--

Elrond didn't look up from his work as Thranduil and Tauriel arrived in the library the next morning, hand in hand and smiles on their faces.

"Thank you for sending us dinner last night , Elrond. It was very kind and thoughtful of you," Thranduil said and Elrond looked up at him for the first time then smiled to see the burden of sorrow Thranduil had carried for the past two thousand years had lifted.

 

"You are most welcome," he said then gave them both a teasing smile. "I had to explain to my people why the king of Mirkwood skipped the feast I prepared for him, but when I told them you were with Tauriel, they more than understood." In truth they were utterly scandalized but Elrond didn't think such information would he helpful.

"I hear tell that they have grown attached to Tauriel," Thranduil said as he tightened his arm around Tauriel's waist. "I hope they understand that she and I are leaving in a few days."

Elrond nodded his head. "You can make it clear to them this evening as I am holding a feast in your honor. Unless the two of you are going to continue to hide in Tauriel's room and scandalize my people further.

Thranduil laughed and looked at Tauriel, "That is Tauriel's choice."

Tauriel gave Thranduil a warning look then sighed. "I have to admit I am not looking forward to being fawned over but now I have both Thranduil and Glorfindel to protect me. I have also made some very good friends and I would like the opportunity to bid them farewell."

"Then we will not be scandalizing your people by staying locked in our room," Thranduil said to Elrond as he held Tauriel's gaze. "But I cannot promise that I will not scandalize them by kissing her often."

Elrond tried not to smile as he watched the couple. "My people will have brace themselves." Elrond knew what it was like to be so deeply in love as to not care what other's thought. It made him feel wistful, for he missed his own wife.  
\--

"Lord Elrond?" one of the many citizen's of Imladris asked as they ventured into the library the day after his feast. He looked up then put his pen aside.

"How can I help you?"

The elleth frowned as she rung her hands and walked closer. "You're not really going to let Lady Tauriel leave are you?"

Elrond sighed. This was the tenth person today, Glorfindel not withstanding to approach him on the matter of Tauriel's departure. "I can not keep her against her will," he told the elleth. "She is a citizen of Mirkwood and if their king demands her return she must go."

"Can you not claim her as one of your citizen's now?" The elleth asked. "She has been here long enough and the child she is carrying has been developing here. It would be so jarring to move her."

Elrond shook his head. "I don't think you understand. Thranduil is taking her back to Mirkwood to be his queen. Keeping her here is completely out of the question."

"But he is so... Wild!" The elleth complained. "And... And so demanding! I hear tell that he often gets drunk and dances half naked in public fountains! Oh by the Valar, he is so vulgar."

Elrond couldn't hold back any longer as he tilted his head back and roared in laughter. The elleth who was speaking to him regarded him with wide eyes and took a step back.

"I am so sorry," he told her after his laughter ceased. "But you would have have had to been there to understand. Thranduil is a good king to his people. He has suffered much these last few thousand years and I will do nothing to bring him more heartache."

"But," the elleth said. "The baby. Elrond! We cannot allow it to be raised in the dark corners of Mirkwood! The poor dear!"

"The baby in question belongs to Tauriel and Thranduil. Now consider the subject closed."

The elleth sighed heavily. "Yes, My Lord." Elrond watched her leave then grumbled to himself then returned to his work.

"Lord Elrond?" yet another elleth asked as she peeked into the library. "May I have a word with you?"

"No!" Elrond shouted and the elleth startled. "Tauriel is going back to Mirkwood and she cannot be made to stay is that clear?"

"Y-Yes," the elleth said as she wrung her hands and looked down at the floor. "But I still need to ask if you want fish cooked for tonight's dinner or if perhaps wile boar would suffice."

"Oh Eru!" Elrond sighed as he looked up at the ceiling.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gwinig - Little one, baby
> 
> Cormamin niuve tenna' ta elea lle au' - My heart shall weep until it sees thee again. 
> 
> Tenna' san' - Until then.
> 
>  
> 
> We have but one more chapter left my friends.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read this story. Thank you to everyone who has commented. This fic and your kindness has helped heal my writer's soul. This is the first story I've completed since 2005 and there have been moments when I didn't think I would finish. 
> 
> I owe a huge debt of gratitude to IronRoseofRivendell, if not for her I may not have finished this story at all. She kindly shared knowledge of the Tolkien world with me which gave me the courage to continue on. This fic really is dedicated to you, Anna, for without you it would not have become what it did.
> 
> I began really, really hating this story halfway through. It seemed like such a huge burden and undertaking and I wondered what I was thinking even beginning it, now that it is over... I'm sad.
> 
> I have started a new fic it is called The Making of a King and it is a collection of stories about Thranduil growing up. 
> 
> Thank you EVERYONE. I love you.
> 
> \---

Thranduil insisted that Tauriel ride with him all the way back to Mirkwood that way she could sleep in his arms and he could protect her. They stopped only a few times to let the animals rest while he made sure Tauriel was comfortable.

They reached Thranduil's halls late in the evening. Sidheon was waiting with a fresh robe as was Mae whose intent was to wisk Tauriel off to her own quarters so she could take care of her.

"No," Thranduil said as he held tight to Tauriel's hand. "She stays with me."

"But look at her, My Lord," Mae complained. "She's exhausted. She needs a meal, bath and bed and..." Mae paused as she realized Thranduil was glaring at her.

"She will be taken care of," Thranduil told Mae then swept Tauriel up into his arms. "Sidheon see that food is made ready for us after our bath."

"Thranduil really," Tauriel gasped then mouthed an apology to Mae who had flushed bright red as she watched them go.

Sidheon smiled then caught the look on Mae's face. "Are you worried for her?" he asked.

"I don't want to see her hurt," Mae answered then blinked as she realized she was talking to Thranduil's assistant. "Do you support their relationship?"

Sidheon smiled and nodded his head. "No one I know thought we would see him happy again. I cannot object to something that takes the darkness from his shoulders." He bowed to Mae and wished her a good night.

\--  
"Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be bathed by a king," Tauriel said as she closed her eyes and leaned her head back on Thranduil's shoulder while he washed her arms with a sponge. Tauriel smiled as she felt the laughter rumbling in his chest.

They finished their bath and Thranduil bundled her up in towels and carried her to bed. "What about food?" she asked. "I was promised food."

"Patience," Thranduil told her as he dried her, stopping to kiss her shoulders, hands, knees, ankles and feet. He tucked her into bed then left the room long enough to bring back a tray filled with fruit, which is what Tauriel had been craving the most. He fed her by hand until she pushed him away.

"Enough," she said as she blinked sleepily and he kissed her before crawling in bed with her and wrapping her in his arms.

"Good night, My Tauriel," Thranduil told her as he pulled her into his arms and let her drift to sleep.

Once he was sure she was fully asleep Thranduil slipped out of bed. He dressed in his simplest robes of silver gray and made his way down to the dungeon with Sidheon, Uron, and several of his other counsel members.

Nestion and Radon had been prepared for their departure. Thranduil had been kind in making certain they had enough supplies to survive their trek out of Mirkwood and into the world. They both stood before him, no longer in chains with their heads bowed and spirits broken.

"You no longer have a people," Thranduil told them. "No one will accept you in their home. You are ever doomed to wander. It is a fate worse than death." He stared them both down knowing they had nothing to say then gestured for them to be taken away. He turned to where Galion stood at the door to his cell.

"My Lord," Galion said then bowed as Thranduil walked toward him. "When do I take my leave?"

"Later in the year I will hold a wedding feast for Tauriel and myself. I would like you there to bear witness," Thranduil said and Galion closed his eyes. "You can stay long enough to see my son born or you can depart after that. It is your choice."

"Your son?" Galion asked with wide eyes as he put his hand to his chest. Thranduil smiled bitterly.

"Do not try to act as if you are pleased with the news. She was pregnant when you had her taken, Galion. You not only put her life at risk but that of our child." Thranduil said through gritted teeth.

Galion shut his eyes tight and fell to his knees before Thranduil. "I do not deserve forgiveness so I will not ask. I do see the error of my ways and beg that someday you will look back at my service to you with fondness. I wish you joy with your wife and son. I am ever grateful for your mercy."

Thranduil looked away from Galion for a moment. "If they had died, Galion, I would have seen you tortured every day for the rest of eternity. You owe your thanks to Lady Galadriel for her clemency not I. Had I had my way your head would still hang from the trees for the birds to peck at."

Galion swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "Nevertheless, I wish you joy, which is all I ever wanted for you."

"You wanted it on your terms," Thranduil said. "Perhaps you have learned that you cannot control the future of others."

"My Lord," Galion replied.

Thranduil gave him one last look. "I will have you given appropriate dress on the day of the wedding feast and you will behave graciously. That night you will be taken to The Gray Havens and you will leave never to return." He didn't wait for a reply, he simply turned on his heel and walked out of the dungeon.

\-----  
The wedding feast was set for the end of summer though Tauriel was glad to let Mae and Thranduil's new assistant do all the planning. She was often addressed as My Lady, My queen which made her bristle and complain to Thranduil who only laughed and hugged her.

"Stop moving!" Mae complained as she tried to adjust the silver circlet on Tauriel's head.

"I'm sorry but I keep feeling the baby move and it tickles," Tauriel said then giggled and twitched. "He is excited today too." She smoothed the fabric of her green dress and rubbed her hand over her stomach in an effort to still the baby.

"Well I don't want to be the person who has to tell the king that you are late to wed him because his son wouldn't let you sit still," Mae said then sucked in the corners of her mouth to keep from smiling.

"He and I are already married," Tauriel said as she wiggled the silver betrothal ring on her finger. "And I have proof," she pointed at her stomach. "So I will again voice my disapproval and insist that all this is unnecessary.

"It's not unnecessary," Mae said as she finished the braids in Tauriel's hair. "Everyone wants to see their king married and I am certain having the Valar's blessing cannot hurt."

Tauriel laughed as she stood. "We have already been blessed by the Valar," she said and Mae rolled her eyes as they began walking to the wedding feast. They both stopped as Legolas stood at the door to the feast hall.

"When did you get here?" Tauriel cried as she ran forward and hugged Legolas tight.

"Not long ago. I couldn't miss the wedding of my adar or my best friend now could I?" Legolas answered as he put her away from him and gave her a searching look.

Tauriel smiled as she touched his face and he leaned into her touch. "Thank you for coming. But, can I ask what made you come?"

Legolas sighed. "Meriang convinced me that I would regret the breach between Adar and I. I wrote him a letter and he wrote back inviting me."

Tauriel frowned. "He didn't tell me you were communicating again!"

Legolas chuckled and shook his head. "I believe he wanted my arrival to be a suprise." He looked over his shoulder at the door. "And they are waiting for you. You need to go."

"We will talk more later?" Tauriel asked.

"Of course," Legolas answered then kissed her cheek before opening the door for her.

"I am amazed at the friends you have made," Mae said as they looked into the room just before entering. Thranduil had already spotted them and stood. "Not only Lady Galadriel is here but Glorfindel too? To play the part of your mother and father? It's amazing." She looked to Tauriel but found she was already making her way across the hall toward Thranduil. Mae, standing as the ring bearer for both Tauriel and Thranduil, rushed to keep up with her.

"Good evening, My Queen," he said as he reached out and took her hands. "You are beautiful."

"As are you, My King" Tauriel said as she held his gaze not even looking away as Galadriel and Glorfindel stood to begin the wedding blessings. They invoked the name of Eru and began speaking words of blessing that no mortal ears had ever heard.

It was all a rush to Thranduil and Tauriel as Galadriel, smiling serenely at them both, pinned a shimmering blue green stone the color of the sea to Thranduil's robe.

"I think I may love you a little," Tauriel teased as they exchanged their silver betrothal rings for gold wedding bands and Thranduil laughed at her.

"Both of you," Galadriel teased as she poked them. "The only thing I ask now is that you treat each other well and are happy."

"We can do that," Thranduil said then kissed Tauriel as the room erupted into cheers.

The first person to greet them was Glorfindel who hugged Tauriel and whisked her away from Thranduil who followed with a scowl on his face as they were lead through the hall to be congratulated.

Their first stop was before Legolas who smiled at them both. "Ada," he said then bowed. "Tauriel. I wish you both joy and peace." Thranduil took him by the arm and pulled him into a tight embrace while Tauriel stood with tears in her eyes.

"I love you," Thranduil said to Legolas whose eyes were shimmering as he pulled away from his father and smiled. "Me too, Ada."

They stopped to meet their final guest and Tauriel frowned as Thranduil put his arm around her and pulled her closer.

"My King," Galion said as he bowed. "My Queen. Thank you for the privilege of this evening." Tauriel looked away from him as Thranduil bowed.

"May your journey be swift and uneventful," Thranduil said. "Farewell, Galion."  
Several tears slipped from Galion's eyes as he bowed and the couple moved away. His escort poked at his elbow and he turned and walked away for the last time.

"Are you alright?" Thranduil whispered in Tauriel's ear. She nodded her head and wiped away her own tears.

"Do you wish to dance, My queen?" he asked.

"I'm not a queen," Tauriel denied with a laugh as he pulled her onto the dance floor.

"Denial," Thranduil said as he shook his head. "Is rather beautiful on you, my wife." Tauriel smiled and settled into his arms.

They danced a few turns before Thranduil led her back to the table where he gifted her with a beautiful necklace of silver and diamonds. "I've a new name for you," he told her.

"Isn't renaming the bride a Nolordian tradition?" Tauriel teased. "Besides, I don't need a new name."

"It's also a Sindar tradition. I chose it to reflect your status," Thranduil told her. "You will be called Taubereth. Though, you will be Tauri to me always."

Tauriel gave him a wide eyed look. "Queen of the forest? Thranduil, really? I don't think you could have come up with a more pretentious name."

"Or, Star of the forest," he told her then lifted her hand so he could kiss it. Tauriel shook her head and smiled.

Later they were introduced as King Thranduil and Queen Taubereth and Tauriel found she liked the new name. She was Tauriel but Taubereth could be queen and in that she could be content. Later she would thank her husband for his kindness and wisdom in ways that would scandalize all the people of Imladris.

 

Just as they were about to leave the feast hall to seek time to themselves they were stopped by Celeborn who smiled warmly at Tauriel and wished her joy and peace before turning to Thranduil. There was a light in his eyes that almost made Thranduil step back as Celeborn moved closer.

 

"The answer to your questions," Celeborn whispered. "Are yes indeed. Yes, she did give birth to Celebrian and is an amazing mother. And more gracefully than you have the right to know." He moved away from Thranduil the fire still in his gaze. "I hope you will never feel the need to ask such questions of my wife again."

 

Tauriel put her hand to her mouth as Thranduil flushed bright red and bowed deeply to Celeborn. "Forgive me, My Lord," he began. "I was not thinking clearly at the time but that is no excuse. I assure you I shall never put your wife in such a situation again and thank you for not punishing me as I so rightly deserve." Celeborn's reply was to bow and step out of their path so they could continue on their way.

"I'm never going to live that down am I?" Thranduil asked as he twined his fingers with Tauriel's

Tauriel smiled then chuckled. "They have a recent saying in Imladris, to party like and Elvenking." She watched as he husband paled then said. "No my love. You will never live that down." Thranduil sighed as they walked down the hall then smiled as he turned to Tauriel.

"Let me redefine what it is to party like an Elvenking," he said then swept her up into his arms and carried her to their rooms.

 

\----

Almost a year later...

Thranduil paced outside the bedroom he shared with his wife listening with a sorrowful heart as she labored. He wanted to be with her but Lalathion had chased him of the room when he began yelling at the healer to do something to ease Tauriel's pain.

"Childbirth is painful," Lalathion told him. "And traumatic and I will not have you in here distracting and upsetting her now leave."

That is how and why Thranduil found himself pacing outside the door while Uron watched and did his best to calm his king. Thranduil couldn't help his fear. All the horror stories of elleths dying from exhaustion in childbirth as his own mother had were running through his head.

"My Lord you need to think positively. She can feel you," Uron, who recently had wed Mae now fully understood the power of the bond, said in sympathy.

"And yet I cannot feel her!" Thranduil complained as he continued to pace.

"Be happy for that blessing," Uron said. Then paused as a strange silence settled around them followed by the cry of an infant. Thranduil looked at Uron for a moment then rushed into the bedroom to find Lalathion helping Tauriel to resettle herself as another healer wrapped the baby in a blanket.

"Tauri," Thranduil said as he crawled on to the bed and kissed her sweaty brow. "Are you alright?"

"I am," Tauriel said weakly then smiled. "And eagar to meet our son." she held out her arms as the healer passed her the child and Thranduil and Tauriel both looked into his face.

"He looks like you," they said in unison then laughed as Lalathion and the other healers worked around them cleaning up and setting Tauriel and the room back to order.

"You are both ridiculous," Mae, who took her job as Tauriel's lady in waiting very seriously, said as she sat on the bed and interupted them long enough to wash Tauriel's face with a warm cloth. They both smiled at her and she gathered herself together and left them alone to get to know their son.

"He is beautiful," Tauriel said as she counted his fingers. "I cannot believe he is here and he is ours." She smiled at Thranduil who kissed her gently then moved and kissed their son's head.

"What is his name?" Tauriel asked. She had been after Thranduil to tell her the name he had chosen but he refused say until after the baby was born.

"Eryndir," Thranduil told her then kissed her temple. "We shall call him Eryndir." Tauriel smiled then sighed and closed her eyes. It was only then that Thranduil realized she was trembling.

"I'm only cold," she said and he ordered more blankets and he moved so he could lay with her braced against his chest as she brought the baby to her breast to feed. He ordered everyone from the room the moment he was certain Tauriel no longer needed them then watched lovingly she rocked their son. They both sighed in contentment.

"Thank you," Thranduil finally told her just before she and the baby drifted to sleep.

"For what?" she mumbled sleepily.

 

"Everything, Tauriel," he said. "Everything." She chuckled weakly then feel asleep and he watched over her and their son all the while blessing Eru for sending them both to save him.

\---  
Many years later an emissary from Dale stood trembling before the king's throne. He had come to discuss broadening their trade agreement and this was the first time he had been in the presense of the legendary Elvenking.

He tried to keep his attention on Thranduil as he spoke but something was moving the hem of the king's robe and his vision kept darting down, wondering if perhaps the king hand more than one leg, for he could clearly see both of them.

Suddenly a head emmerged from beneath the robes with a mass of sungold hair and deep blue eyes stared down at him before hiding again. Dale's emmisary counted five times that the elven child had poked his head out to look at him before disappearing again, and he had to admit the sight made him relax.

He was just about to leave the king's halls, feeling relieved that some of his trade suggestions had been met with agreement when the captain of the guard walked toward him.

"May I help you?" he asked.

"This is for you," Uron said as he handed the emmisary a peice of paper.

"Thank you," he said then looked at it and smiled. It was a wonderful rendered drawing of him looking humbled and a little scared as he stood at the king's throne. He looked at Uron for a moment and shook his head not understanding.

"It is a gift from the king's son Eryndir," Uron said then turned on his heal and walked away.  
\---

Sidheon walked into Thranduil's chambers then paused and looked down as the queen was sitting on his desk whispering into the king's ear. He turned on his heel to walk away but Thranduil stopped him.

"What do you need Sidheon?" Thranduil asked.

"A letter from Lorien has arrived," he said as he walked forward and passed the letter to the king.

"Thank you," Thranduil said and Sidheon left the room as quickly as possible while Thranduil broke the seal.

"From Galadriel?" Tauriel asked as Thranduil read.

"She sends her thanks for the picture Eryndir sent of her," Thranduil said.

Tauriel laughed. "And you were certain she would be offended."

"And she wanted to know when we are sending Eryndir to visit as she would like to have him work with the artists in Lorien to further develop his talent." Thranduil told her then scoffed. "Never. I will never send my son to Lorien."

"If you did I would have to go with him," Tauriel said.

"And I am not parting from you," Thranduil told her then pulled him into her lap. "Ever."

"Ever?" Tauriel asked. "Because Legolas is coming to visit next week and I plan to go hunting with him and you are not invited."

Thranduil scowled at her and Tauriel rubbed the furrow between his eyebrows. "Because hunting with you is always such a production that it stops being fun."

"I should send the entire army out to protect you," Thranduil growled as he pulled her closer. "Then perhaps you'll find hunting with me a more pleasing experience." He kissed her neck ans she melted against him.

"That's why I'm not telling you when we're going," she laughed and he bit her gently.

"I love you," he whispered against her skin.

"I love you too," she answered then kissed him deeply.

Sidheon stood at the door to Thranduil's chambers and shook his head at the council member who wanted to speak to the king.

"He's busy right now," Sidheon said. "With the queen."

 

THE END

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the poem this story was based on
> 
> On Love - Kahlil Gibran
> 
> When love beckons to you, follow him,  
> Though his ways are hard and steep.  
> And when his wings enfold you yield to him,  
> Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.  
> And when he speaks to you believe in him,  
> Though his voice may shatter your dreams  
> as the north wind lays waste the garden.
> 
> For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.  
> Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,  
> So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
> 
> Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.  
> He threshes you to make you naked.  
> He sifts you to free you from your husks.  
> He grinds you to whiteness.  
> He kneads you until you are pliant;  
> And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
> 
> All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
> 
> But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,  
> Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,  
> Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.  
> Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.  
> Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;  
> For love is sufficient unto love.
> 
> When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."  
> And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
> 
> Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.  
> But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:  
> To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.  
> To know the pain of too much tenderness.  
> To be wounded by your own understanding of love;  
> And to bleed willingly and joyfully.  
> To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;  
> To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;  
> To return home at eventide with gratitude;  
> And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.


End file.
